sweet misery

All I know is that I’m five seconds from punching you in the face, Christian.

Oh wow, I'm terrified. Though I bet your bark is worse than your bite.

Uh, no. Like..I think I see the problem— I don’t know, you look about 5”11… I just didn’t know they stacked shit that high.

Wow, I bet it took you all night to think up that one. It's charming, really.

I know plenty. And you should.

Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, Princess. Well I don't and it doesn't matter.

I’m not a bitch, asshole. Don’t call me out of my name when you don’t even know a thing about me.

Ooo, I'm an asshole. Burn. Yeah, I don't know you neither do I care. All I know is that you're a bitch.

No, no, it’s not that. Something is wrong with you, but it’s not me. It’s.. I think it’s something else. How tall are you?

Oh wait, I know what you're talking about. I suffer from decrensco. It's a disease where I gradually shrink and get younger -- just like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

I wasn’t carrying a door, Chris. I hit someone on my way out of the store. You know, that side door that always sticks?

Oh, okay then. Sounds like the person you hit was either blind or just too graceful. Uh, no? I don't.

I’m seventeen and I’m pretty sure I know a hell of a lot more about this than your mother.

Wow, seventeen, that must mean you know everything there is to know. Well maybe you do, but I don't care.

Something wrong with you?

Yeah, it's you. You're annoying me.

To whomever it was that was hit with a door at the corner store, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you, and I couldn’t stick around to find out who you were.

Why were you even carrying a door in the first place?

Thought you were someone else. Never mind.

Exactly.

Excuse me? What the hell did you just call me? 

You're excused. Oh, I called you a bitch, like the female dog.

Someone as immature as you really shouldn’t be allowed to be making choices like these. Especially when you’re picking the stupid option.

Wow, you're really starting to sound like my mother -- so shut the hell up already. You're like twelve, get over yourself.

Seriously, you’ve got to stop trying to talk to me.

What? Why would I even want to talk to you?

Too bad that you are still here then. Please if I had a split personality disorder, I wouldn’t waste it stealing dogs. Probably jewelry.

Nah, I think you'd be stealing dogs -- female dogs to be exact. Mainly because it'd be symbolic since you're such a bitch.

Fine. My name’s Emma Marie Sawyer. Now I’m not a complete stranger and I really think you should rethink.

Okay, cool. I'm rethinking and my answer is -- no. Nope, no, nein, nah.

Agree to disagree. I think a lecture would do you a load of good, but it looks like you don’t agree.

The last thing I want right now is a complete stranger lecturing me. Yup, agree to disagree, right?