solarpunk falgsc

Cause like

I dont know about anyone else

But I am perpetually hovering three inches above the strong subconscious belief that everyone knows what they're doing at all times except me, so if you change your normal patterns and I notice, then I will assume it is an intentional choice with a thought-out plan behind it and I will avoid interfering

"I feel like I'm the only one who does this chore. Can we start taking turns?"

"I'd like you to ask me how I'm doing more often."

"It bothers me when this area stays messy so long. Can you do X when Y happens?"

"I feel like the onus is on me to initiate X, and it's wearing me down. Could you try making the first move more? Like 3-4 times a week?"

"I'm feeling upset right now and I'd like to spend some time with you."

"When X happens, I feel like you're taking my work for granted."

"I'm feeling neglected. Could you do X?"

"I'm burnt out and need help."

"I feel like I'm the only one putting effort into X."

"Do you notice this?"

"Are you bothered by this?"

"I am bothered when this happens."

"X habit of yours bothers me."

that means no more micropenis and small dick "jokes".

that means no more neckbeard "jokes".

that means no more "jokes" about moobs / man boobs if someone has told you that it makes them uncomfortable (/ dysphoric).

that means no more mocking men (and women, but i see this targeting men more often) with flat asses.

that means no more mocking men for having long hair.

that means no more mocking men for having a "pedo 'stache".

that means not mocking trans men who dont want to medically transition and respecting their boundaries.

that means not mocking intersex men whose intersex variations you dont personally understand.

When it comes to cancellation as social tactic, I am completely neutral, and I will be addressing it neutrally in this piece.

I do not believe, as some social-justice-oriented thinkers do, that “cancellation is not real” or that it is merely “accountability.” People close to me have been forced out of queer and artistic communities because someone with more social power demanded that the collective cut them off urgently and for vaguely articulated reasons, and threatened other vulnerable people with social ostracism if they did not comply.

Often, abuse accusations are not taken seriously, and cancellations don’t do a thing, it’s true — but sometimes, a person is accused of abuse by their abuser, or powerful people bring forward allegations of wrongdoing in order to oust a person who is already broadly disliked in their communities (because they are “creepy” or “awkward” or visibly addicted/mad/neurodivergent), and it does ruin their life.

Intheir desperation to prove their innocence, vulnerable people do things that inspire more intense social attacks — like sharing huge amounts of unflattering personal information, profusely apologizing in a hasty way that can easily be picked apart, fighting and fawning with critics in the comments, making up transparent self-serving lies, fixating on their cancellation to the point of obsession, using substances heavily, self-harming, and various other “sins“ that mostly amount to being publicly distressed.

The mob gathers when they smell blood in the water. And a lot of people on the internet believe that the worst thing you can be is annoying or crazy.

I don’t want to see things like this happening anymore. And so I am sharing my tips for anyone who finds themselves on the receiving end of a cancellation attempt, be it large or small, and would like to minimize the fallout on their life as best they can. I also know that a lot of vulnerable people worry about being cancelled constantly, and I think having a strategy for dealing with it in your back pocket can help quell those fears.

Again, these tactics treat cancellation completely neutrally: for the purposes of this piece, I do not care whether you did something wrong or you didn’t, whether some of the public censure you’re facing is reasonable or all of it is not. My purpose here is to help you respond to what is happening in a level-headed way that does not inflame unnecessary conflict or lead to you getting attacked further, so that you can make your own decisions about what accountability you owe.

What to do if you get cancelled online:

1. Do not acknowledge the call-out publicly.

Responding to the call-out will onlyfurther its spread, and lend it legitimacy. Even if you make a post attempting to disprove the call-out, people will interpret your defensive reaction as a sign of guilt. When you issue a public statement about a topic as fraught as a public accusation, it signals to everyone that something very important is going on, and it makes them curious to learn more, and ensures that the accusations stick more firmly in their minds. Furthermore, posting publicly about your accusations indicates to anyone who bears you ill will that you are rattled and feeling socially threatened. It rewards the behavior.

2. Do not act out of urgency.

One of the ways that cancelled people get themselves in far worse trouble is by spiraling due to anxiety and rushing to issue a statement about what has happened, or to attempt to socially manage public impressions about what has happened.

Do not do this. Anything that you say will be picked apart and used against you by those who are hell-bent on doing so. A hasty statement will not satisfy anyone; it will excite them. The situation is truly not as urgent as it might feel. A lot of times, doing nothing and being quiet is the best way to proceed, and the dust will settle better if you do.

3. Do not issue a public apology.

If you truly feel that you have wronged someone, that conflict should be worked out in private with the people you have directly affected. You do not owe the anonymous public audience a damn thing.

Do not apologize for something you don’t honestly believe that you have done wrong. Do not apologize if you do not understand the nature of what you are being accused of. Do not apologize for how other people are interpreting your actions. Do not apologize to make yourself look better.

No matter how carefully you craft your apology, people will be able to get the stink of PR from it, and will criticize it from a variety of contradictory angles — it is too vague, it over-explains, it centers you too much, it doesn’t own up to your full part in things, it minimizes what happened, it’s just for show, it took too long, it came out too soon to be heartfelt, you didn’t mean it.

Don’t try to satisfy a public that is setting out not to be satisfied. Take time and really think about what happened, and seek the counsel of people whom you trust in PRIVATE.

For movies, here is the beginner's list:

And the more advanced list:

Not all these movies are necessarily good, but the ones that gave me small pop culture epiphanies. It made me realize that 30%-40% of the jokes from modern sitcoms are references/parodies- and these movies are their source material.

^^ This is also true for socializing. So many people I thought were naturally funny were just doing movie bits.