aDORARARAble

Good god, she has no idea what’s going on right now? She was just minding her own business when this girl with a pomp just sort of waltzed right up and grabbed her and started talking about wishes?

“Uh… o-okay? I don’t really know what wishing has to do with it–”

And then, she hears it.

Little kid.

……………

“...”

“Oh my god.”

It takes Josuke a moment to realize what she just said to this girl. She fucked up. She sure wishes that Crazy Diamond could fix broken hearts or hurt feelings. She fucked up so bad right now.

“I-I... I’m so sorry, ma’am.” 

If you send on anon, I’ll make it an open starter.

#1-35

Still fraught with the giggles, he tries to compose himself for more than a few seconds.

“Oh, please, yes. Nothing would make me happier than to have you serve me. The rice is just fine.”

How much joy can one person get from seeing another drown in misery? A lot, apparently. Thank you for showing the world this, Rohan Kishibe. Thank you for showing the world how awful it truly is.

“Anything else you’d like for me to get you? somethingthatIcanspitinmaybe I mean, I just want to do my best for my Master, ssu.” Josuke says as she furiously scrawls OMELETTE RICE in a notepad, nearly breaking through the paper with her pen. She glances at it, noticing how awful her handwriting is but too frustrated to really correct it for the cook to be able to read it. 

Tapping his feet lightly against the ground he waits patiently, hoping that whatever these specials were could last him until next year. He needs to keep himself fueled with pure hatred and animosity, of course, no matter who the Josuke was.

“Omelette rice that you would decorate, yourself? Hmmmm, as much as I’d hate to have you touching my food, that would be pretty entertaining to watch. And…”

“Pft.”

She was almost impressed. She was still pissed and embarrassed--embarpissed. Yes. That was it. She was still embarpissed but almost impressed at Rohan Kishibe not losing his shit the entire time.

Though, if he choked on his saliva and died on the spot... That would be pretty cool. Oh God, she was wishing death on someone. 

“Y-yeah. So. Do you want the stupid rice or not, Master.”

Upon entering, however, he knew there was no way out.

A lot had changed since 1988.  And the fact he seemed to have wandered into some fantasy for a lot of upstanding young anime nerds seems a bit overwhelming.  Perhaps he should turn and leave?  That might have been the safest route to pursue–but social anxiety of turning around and not buying anything after entering coupled with a server already making her way to him makes him freeze.  

She seemed familiar for a moment as she shouted her greeting and–and at least she seemed as nervous spouting that line as he was getting it.  How did one act at this establishment?  

The girl was shaking in her clunky platform heels as she waited for a response from the customer, just in case he might have wanted another maid. Like, it wasn’t the first time that had happened to her.

Fuck you, Kancolle Loving Otaku from her first day on the job.

She was probably sweating too, like a sinner in church or whatever that American tourist had said. She was nervous despite working here for about a little over a week, apparently this was “moe”. 

Though, his soft words about it being his first time here eased her quite a bit. Which was surprising. 

“Ah! O-okay! Well, I can show you to your seat and explain things better, if that’s alright...” Josuke paused, not sure if he was comfortable with her throwing the word around. But her manager was probably on the floor so... “Please follow me, Master!”

She shuffled to a small table near the window and gave him a small bow.

……………….

He casually brushes aside the mental image of his Josuke barely fitting into a maid’s uniform and everything said mental image implies so he can fully focus on tormenting this Josuke.

And. Oh. Oh, yes. Specials and services.

“Why, I would be delighted to hear of some of these specials and services you provide. Do tell, I’m very, very curious to know.”

“w-WELL...”

She was sputtering and stammering as she tried to remember what the fuck else they did here. She felt like she was going to die, she prayed that lightning would strike this fucking cafe. If it took out either him or her, she would be okay with it.

Swallowing, Josuke finally remembered what the fuck they did here. She glanced over to where her manager was earlier. Yep. They were still there and staring. Fuck you, Tomie.

“T-there’s the food and drink of course. B-but! If you have our omelette rice... I can decorate it for you, M-Master! And... We can play a game, for a charge. Also, Th-there isn’t any photography allowed but... F-for an extra charge, you can take...onewithmeifyoureallywantthatImean...”