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@femsuke
WHAT THE FUCKIN SHIT IS THIS THING))

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Good god, she has no idea whatâs going on right now? She was just minding her own business when this girl with a pomp just sort of waltzed right up and grabbed her and started talking about wishes?
âUh⌠o-okay? I donât really know what wishing has to do with itââ
And then, she hears it.
Little kid.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
âIâm. Iâm actually⌠in high school, soâŚâ
â...â
âOh my god.â
It takes Josuke a moment to realize what she just said to this girl. She fucked up. She sure wishes that Crazy Diamond could fix broken hearts or hurt feelings. She fucked up so bad right now.
âI-I... Iâm so sorry, maâam.âÂ
Her language immediately changes, it wouldnât change what she did but. You know. (No, we donât).
youthfulsparrow replied to your post:Engage!
[Oh goD, WHATâw-who is this, why is she grabbing her, andâwhatâs this about a wish? She just blinks for a few seconds.] ⌠h-huh?
It only just occurred to her now now that maybe this was a stupid idea. A stupid idea that would probably startle the fuck out of anyone, let alone a little kid.
âA-ahh...â Well. Josuke had already made it this far, she might as well dedicate herself to it. âW-well! J-just thought that maybe itâd be good to do something nice for someone else today. Do you need or want anything? Or thomething elthe?â
So embarrassed that her lithpe came back.Â
âOr maybe I can do your homework for you, little kid!â
Engage!
After thinking about it for awhile, Josuke found a way to possibly cancel out any possible bad luck. Good karma. If she did something nice for someone else, karma would reward her by maybe not giving her bad luck.
Yes. This had to be completely fool proof. Absolutely no holes in that logic!
She decided to try to do something for someone she didnât know. So now she stood in the middle of downtown, looking for someone.Â
Her eyes had locked onto a middle schooler. Yes. Good.Â
Quickly, she scurried over to the kid and grabbed their shoulder.
âAlright, you get one wish. Make it a good one!â
THIS DEFINITELY WOULDNâT SEEM WEIRD AT ALL.
Josuke thought that she was good at hiding certain things about herself, at least the embarrassing things anyway. Though, her family easily knew about this one and either made fun of her for it or just chose to pretend they didnât know a god damn thing. For her sake--but they probably made fun of her for it when she wasnât in the room.
She was superstitious. She hated that ghost crap--minusReikihewasgoodbutfuckKira'smom--it scared her too much. The concept of 'karma' got to her too at times as well, and sometimes her greed blinded her from it as shown with Mikitaka and Shigechi.
Today there was a letter waiting for her on the table, probably placed there by her mom before she left for work. No return address either. It skeeved her out a bit but curiousity got to her and she read it. A chain letter telling her if she didn't send it, bad luck would plague her for years and she would die bitter and alone. She tore it up before throwing it out, laughing it off and thinking there was no way.
It snuck up on her, the anxiety of possibly getting bad luck because of this. Well, she had to cancel it out somehow, right?
Right?

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Send me "Engage!" and I'll generate a number and make a starter with that sentence.
If you send on anon, Iâll make it an open starter.
#1-35
Keep reading
âWow. That guy at the cafe was a little harsh, itâs not that bad.âÂ
He sits up, honest to god having to wipe a few tears from his eyes. Itâs been quite a long time since heâs laughed this long or this hard; he might accidentally bust a lung if he doesnât exert a little self control.
Still fraught with the giggles, he tries to compose himself for more than a few seconds.
âOh, please, yes. Nothing would make me happier than to have you serve me. The rice is just fine.â
What a fucking phenomenal asshole.
Itâs incredible really.Â
How much joy can one person get from seeing another drown in misery? A lot, apparently. Thank you for showing the world this, Rohan Kishibe. Thank you for showing the world how awful it truly is.
âAnything else youâd like for me to get you? somethingthatIcanspitinmaybe I mean, I just want to do my best for my Master, ssu.â Josuke says as she furiously scrawls OMELETTE RICE in a notepad, nearly breaking through the paper with her pen. She glances at it, noticing how awful her handwriting is but too frustrated to really correct it for the cook to be able to read it.Â
If she had to deal with this shit, the rest of the staff can deal with her later.
He leans forward and sets his elbows up on the table, cradling his face in his hands as he continues to give her a shit-eating grin. Just watching her waffle and stammer is enough to keep him in fucking stitches for the next few monthsâthe next year, even.
Tapping his feet lightly against the ground he waits patiently, hoping that whatever these specials were could last him until next year. He needs to keep himself fueled with pure hatred and animosity, of course, no matter who the Josuke was.
âOmelette rice that you would decorate, yourself? Hmmmm, as much as Iâd hate to have you touching my food, that would be pretty entertaining to watch. AndâŚâ
âPft.â
Oh god. Oh god, he canât fucking do it. There he goes, just smacking his face against the table and slapping his knee, completely just fucking losing his shit on the spot. This is too good. Too fucking good.
In all honesty, Josuke is pretty surprised he made it this far--barring the entrance he made of course. He was able to shut it off, well, at least tone it down to a number that let him speak rather coherently.
She was almost impressed. She was still pissed and embarrassed--embarpissed. Yes. That was it. She was still embarpissed but almost impressed at Rohan Kishibe not losing his shit the entire time.
Though, if he choked on his saliva and died on the spot... That would be pretty cool. Oh God, she was wishing death on someone.Â
âY-yeah. So. Do you want the stupid rice or not, Master.â
Hurry up and order your shit, Rohan Kishibe. Hurry up so she can recover from this horrible event.
âPLEASE COME AGAIN SOON, MASTERS~!â

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Honestly, he was not sure what of thing he was in for, going to a cafe on the way home. Â There seemed to be quite a bit of a crowd coming and goingâbut the wait seemed to be fairly forgiving. Â Honestly, it seemed as if it would be a bad idea, but Jotaro would surely not mind at all if he had to take a moment for himself to recover before completing the walk home.
Upon entering, however, he knew there was no way out.
A lot had changed since 1988. Â And the fact he seemed to have wandered into some fantasy for a lot of upstanding young anime nerds seems a bit overwhelming. Â Perhaps he should turn and leave? Â That might have been the safest route to pursueâbut social anxiety of turning around and not buying anything after entering coupled with a server already making her way to him makes him freeze. Â
She seemed familiar for a moment as she shouted her greeting andâand at least she seemed as nervous spouting that line as he was getting it. Â How did one act at this establishment? Â
âThank you very much,â he said, his reply soft and somewhat overwhelmed.  He just wanted tea.  He just wanted some tea, and here he was, presented with the modern shock of meido in his face.  "I-It is my first time here, so please forgive meâŚâ
The girl was shaking in her clunky platform heels as she waited for a response from the customer, just in case he might have wanted another maid. Like, it wasnât the first time that had happened to her.
Fuck you, Kancolle Loving Otaku from her first day on the job.
She was probably sweating too, like a sinner in church or whatever that American tourist had said. She was nervous despite working here for about a little over a week, apparently this was âmoeâ.Â
Though, his soft words about it being his first time here eased her quite a bit. Which was surprising.Â
âAh! O-okay! Well, I can show you to your seat and explain things better, if thatâs alright...â Josuke paused, not sure if he was comfortable with her throwing the word around. But her manager was probably on the floor so... âPlease follow me, Master!â
She shuffled to a small table near the window and gave him a small bow.
âS-so! Basically the rules are; no touching, no cameras and no asking for personal information... It happens a lot--tomycoworkersanyway--Iâm not saying youâll do it but, yâknow! Um... hereâs your menu and I can talk about other s-special services if you want!â
âEhhhh...? Whatâs wrong with it?â
Sheâs trying so hard to keep it together as she listens in on the two boysâ conversation.Â
âI hate how he draws people--he can draw backgrounds really well but the anatomy on the people!!! People pose out of nowhere and itâs all same face everywhere! What the fuck is with the dogs?! Itâs nonsense when it comes to story. Weird shit just happens for the sake of happening and I think he forgets half of the shit he introduces.â
There are tears in her eyes as sheâs listening to this guy go on and on about how shitty Rohanâs manga is. She wishes she was working his table so she could shower him with sweet meido love.Â
âI bet heâs an asshole in person too.â
Sheâs gone.
âDid you read the new JUMP, Shotaro?â
âYeah and Pink Dark Boy got the colored chapter this month, it fucking sucks. Iâm so sick of the shit Kishibe puts out.â
Sometimes, itâs the little things that makes working here worthwhile.

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He can just sense her rage and hatred. He wants to feel bad for her, he really doesâoh, wait. No, he doesnât. He couldnât bring himself to feel bad even if he tried. The only way this could get even sweeter is if this was actually his Josuke.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
He casually brushes aside the mental image of his Josuke barely fitting into a maidâs uniform and everything said mental image implies so he can fully focus on tormenting this Josuke.
And. Oh. Oh, yes. Specials and services.
âWhy, I would be delighted to hear of some of these specials and services you provide. Do tell, Iâm very, very curious to know.â
And very, very eager to gain more blackmail material.
At the realization that Rohan did indeed hear her mention the specials--beyond the food and drinks anyway--a furious blush creeped itself up her neck and face. If it was anyone but motherfucking Rohan Kishibe here, some might have found this moe.
âw-WELL...â
She was sputtering and stammering as she tried to remember what the fuck else they did here. She felt like she was going to die, she prayed that lightning would strike this fucking cafe. If it took out either him or her, she would be okay with it.
Swallowing, Josuke finally remembered what the fuck they did here. She glanced over to where her manager was earlier. Yep. They were still there and staring. Fuck you, Tomie.
âT-thereâs the food and drink of course. B-but! If you have our omelette rice... I can decorate it for you, M-Master! And... We can play a game, for a charge. Also, Th-there isnât any photography allowed but... F-for an extra charge, you can take...onewithmeifyoureallywantthatImean...â
Moe moe, kyun~.
Hysterical sobbing could be heard from the womanâs bathroom if you listened closely enough.