i'm gay as a daffodil, dear

hiii omg i haven’t been on this blog in a while & college has been making me stressed n busy!! but somehow among all of that, remembering freddie today makes me feel the calmest i have in a while.. i miss him so much,, and i try to save any actual “grieving” for today rather than let that seep into times where i could otherwise be celebrating him in a way he deserves. but i’d like to think that today it’s okay to feel that hurt for a lil while, and i’d like to think that he’s still proud of all of us and how he’s impacted us - i know i definitely wouldn’t be the me i am right now without the way freddie has made me feel like i’m allowed to be whoever i want ?? i see so much of who i am and who i want to be in who he was and that makes me think that huh !! maybe i’m not as bad as i’ve always thought !! ^^ and yeah! maybe i’m not the same person i was in november 2018 who got into queen for the first time, but i carry that version of myself still. and the comfort queen and freddie give me? that’s a feeling i couldn’t stop feeling if i tried, no matter how much time passes or how much i distance myself from the fandom, freddie and queen will always mean the world to me :’) 🥺