fuck my period is coming and I'm building a rico case on my everyone again

i need to stop being friendly when I'm in a good mood because ppl stick around and when I'm back to normal i literally can't stand them but i can't tell them this so i dug myself into a hole

fuckk rober eggers werewulf trailer is out and it's so good we're back to the lighthouse era I'm so happy

if you ever have a favorite character and think it would be funny to have him be called explicitly a twink bottom sociopath in canon, think again. it just happened to me and it's the worst thing I've heard in my life. never wish for this. some stuff should stay on the internet

i think it would amuse americans to know how deeply i desire to taste the cannes sauce, at least once in my lifetime. and if we're on topic, i also would like the crumblr cakes. not so much the cookies but the cakes they put out every week. and i would love to see what sweet tea is all about

people who are neither gay nor christian while claiming to be one of the two are always asking about how do you reconcile the two. because they see both as ideologies and not real lived experiences. it's true, you can't reconcile the ideologies, because they have nothing to do with the actual reality they're based on, like most things. i can't reconcile the two anymore than i reconcile the individual ideologies with the experience. i don't know what the queer ideology has to do with being a homosexual and I don't know what christian ideology has to do with faith and christ either, and why would two lies ever mix with each other when they can't stand on their own either

one thing i also like about christianity is that it allows you to just do your job at helping people without liking them. you can know they don't deserve shit and still do whatever you're meant to do. you don't have to rationalize it like people think it's right, to always say maybe they're this and that and that's why they suck...you don't have to do it. the whole concept of true forgiveness comes from the reality that they suck without an explanation. and we move on. the thing with the passion of christ is that it shows you it takes so little for people both strangers and friends to be dismissive and evil and they will do it and they don't deserve shit and they will make you suffer. but that doesn't mean it's the end of your story, and it doesn't mean you were wrong or unlikable or did anything to deserve it

energy healing sounds like the worst job ever i can't think of anything worse than helping people at the expense of yourself. that's why it's mostly a scam because if you do have the ability to heal people like that it's the last thing you'd want to do. i think this is why religious ways appeal to me more because interceding from a healthy distance sounds infinitely better.

seeing 333 now i thought it was just the usual but it's been insistent yesterday and i woke up in the middle of the night at exactly 3:33 last night that's the thing that creeps me out. i usually don't really mind repeating numbers because they're really common but when it wakes you up like that it's really strange.....

stopped praying and listening to music again ughh not good. very bad.

i think we all have that canon event where we realized people can just say they're gay and not have that mean anything. and then we live with that