my prof from the other degree I'm getting convinced me I'll do bad if i apply to masters because quote "it's all too old" meaning im too classically focused in my work and research needed to apply and I've been spiraling over this low key i also cried a little whatever. i think I'll try anyway but it sucks if i already know they'll hate me and maybe won't accept me because my style or whatever. this was after she constantly was telling me to go to grad school because im "too good not to". i hate people all women do is lie and gaslight. also telling me horror stories about her fuckass friends who got beef with that uni. like honestly.....i don't even know

i had a dream that i was having lunch back at my grandmas with the whole family like when i was a kid and some masclesbian with whatever connection to the family was there and she kept trying to touch me and feel me up and it was embarrassing to me so i kept pushing her hands away but it turned me on i loved it .......freud explain

I'll always be just a crybaby I'll never grow up from it

this summer is so weird and something stupid shook me up again im in my hoodie and it's mid june and sweating but im enjoying it just want to be warm i don't feel so good idk what's wrong with me i feel a little off like I'm not myself. even the general panic i usually have feels far away and not physical like it usually feels like i feel distant from myself. and i leave on firday for the weekend i should be so excited and i am theoretically but everything feels so distant....i feel like a character in a story that's too aware is a character. i keep praying for something good that changes everything to happen one day but i don't think these prayers are getting heard. they hear the others but seems like for big things im not worthy enough or something. i just have to go through the same trauma again and again and god i just wish the psalms were real, thay god does come to rescue you at some point, i wish that was true

i was worried about my money for my trip just to late as hell come to the knowledge that hungary has much weaker money power. sis I'm eating langos and ice cream on friday i know that's right!!!!!!

my blackpill tendencies come from being oppressed by straight women specifically i can't stand their species but i have no problem with being a woman i would rather kms than be a man. i don't know how you can be a man and be happy with your gender. all men who seem to have souls and be happy look and act like women. to want to be a man is to dehumanize yourself to a degree at least how i see it

reading a blackpill feminist post thinking well i don't know if this applies to real life but this is what happens in the vampire chronicles at some point

being more than happy to eat crumbs and accept the lowest possible effort given is how women have been losing this whole time. and they have this mentality with everything. when will you get up and start demanding more

i think the actor playing armand is pretty but I'm afraid to show armand form the show to people because in a way i know I'm biased because i love the character and they'd be like who's this weird looking dude lol