* without them.

⥽ closed for @feltloss ⥼

“ah, LOOK who it is,” the male spoke the second he had noticed the her presence in the room. “if it isn’t our own cinderella in her own natural habitat– sulking alone in the corner.” he was definitely being a bit rougher to her than most people who knew what she was going through, but warren’s brain worked in ways that were usually very inconvenient for others. the male stopped beside her, leaned against the wall with his shoulder, and broke a bit off of his cookie, before throwing it in his mouth and glancing back at her. “want a piece of my FUN cookie? you look like you need it more than i do.”

          BE   A   WOMAN    /    KINDA   MYSTERY   WOMAN   !    *    she  doesn’t  pay  much  attention  when  he  first  approaches  ,  arms  crossed  over  her  chest  as  lux’s  gaze  flickers  only  momentarily  towards  him  .  sure  ,  she’s  a  bit  on  edge  because  someone  died  at  the  last  party  they  had  ,  but  at  least  she’s  trying  to  be  involved  .      ❛    if  i’m  cinderella  ,  you  must  be  one  of  those  rats  she  hangs  out  with  .    ❜      eyebrows  lift  ,  but  only  for  a  second  before  the  blonde  is  shifting  her  full  attention  towards  warren  .  there’s  only  a  hint  of  amusement  present  .      ❛    i’m  good  ,  thanks  .  i  don’t  know  what  you’re  seeing  ,  but  i’m  having  loads  of  fun  .  sitting  in  a  corner  ,  people  watching  …  it’s  a  real  blast  .    ❜

          YOU’RE  OUT  OF  SIGHT   /   BUT  EASY  TO  FIND  .    *    maybe  people  notice  more  than  lux  thinks  .  maybe  she’s  the  one  so  out  of  tune  with  herself  that  even  she  doesn’t  understand  the  depths  of  her  own  mind  .  they’re  more  like  trenches  .      ❛    nobody’s  ever  told  me  how  much  i  mean  to  them  .    ❜      a  sad  truth  pours  from  her  lips  ,  threatens  to  flood  out  every  needy  emotion  within  her  .  still  ,  lux  straightens  her  posture  and  fakes  a  smile   ––––   something  she  does  best  .      ❛    and  i’m  still  standing  ,  aren’t  i  ?    ❜

          THE  WALLS  WILL  CRUMBLE   /   BUT  YOU  WON’T  LET  YOURS  CRACK  .    *    gaze  falls  momentarily  ,  saccharine  eyes  faulting  for  a  split  second as  lux  inhales  slowly  .  it’s  something  quiet  ,  something  soft  .  she  hasn’t  known  such  a  feeling  in  a  while  .  it’s  almost  like  a  reset for  her  ,  small  smile  showing  .  though  ,  it  only  lasts  a  couple  moments  .      ❛    i’m  a  lot  of  things  .    ❜      a  fighter  .  a  realist  .  a  protector  .  a  sister  .      ❛    but  …  i’m  not  a  liar  .  not  anymore  .    ❜      there’s  a  sense  of  understanding  between  the  two  .  it’s  something  unspoken  and  silent  ,  but  at  least it’s  present .

“what a crock of bullshit.”

mickey steeled himself against all of lux’s ammo– his armor took quite a few dents on this turn around, definitely, but he could examine the damage later. see about repairing whatever it was he could another time. right now, he must focus and stay on track. not let up on this woman because the moment he wavered and let a sliver of weakness through, she would be unstoppable. lux would completely disappear and there wouldn’t be a thing he could say or do to stop that. 

“you’re talking about them like they’re fucking dead,” mickey returned, almost alarmed by this, which was evident in the way his tone had risen some. “they aren’t gone– they’re coming back,” he insisted, with more strength and conviction in these words than he actually felt. it was for her benefit alone, not his. it didn’t matter if he doubted these– he only needed lux to trust him one more time. 

the male moved forward, his gait off over the rough ground until he was close enough to share her body heat. fighting back an urge to wrap his arms around her, as he suddenly desperately wanted to do. and that, dear friends, was not just for her benefit, either. yet mickey kept his hands to himself, only ducking his head forward a tad, his blue eyes seeking hers in earnest. voice lowering into an intimate space between them, words lingering there as he whispered, “it’s okay to be scared, lux.. we’re all scared. i’m scared.” tongue came out, wetting over his bottom lip as his head shook lightly. “but this isn’t the answer. don’t let your fear cloud everything else. you know it’s not.”

mickey swallowed a lump in his throat, his adam’s apple bobbing with the effort. “please stay.”

          NO  ,  YOU  WON’T  SMILE   /   BUT  YOU’LL  SHOW  THEM  YOUR  TEETH  .    *    head  lifts  only  slightly  ,  eyebrows  pulling  together  as  offense  drowns  previously  hardened  features  away  .      ❛    excuse  me  ?    ❜      it  was  a  rare  occurrence  for  someone  to  talk  back  to  her  ,  especially  when  she’s  got  venom  spilling  from  her  lips  .  and  then  he  speaks  again  .  there’s  mention  of  death  and  hope  all  in  one  breath  .  it’s  funny  how  he  can  speak  so  easily  about  a  situation  they  all  know  absolutely  nothing  about  at  the  end  of  the  day  .      ❛    are  they  ?  are  they  really  coming  back  ?  from  where  ?    ❜      he  wants  to  give  her  hope  ?  he  better  have  answers  .  that’s  the  mindset  lux  put  herself  in  and  she’s  sticking  to  it  .  and  ,  though  he  doesn’t  touch  her  ,  he  strikes  a  nerve  .  she  flinches  when  he’s  close  enough  .  forgive  her  !  that’s  not  his  fault  ,  that’s  the  world’s  fault  .  it’s  been  so  cruel  ,  offered  so  many  calloused  hands  just  so  they  could  wrap  around  her  throat  and  suffocate  her  .  maybe  that’s  why  she  hesitates  to  answer  .  

gwen lets out a small laugh at lux’s HALF-COMPLIMENT. gwen isn’t the greatest when it comes to makeup, or clothes, and they both know it. gwen had hoped it would help coax the girl out from under her blanketed bundle, but apparently NOT. as she sits down, precariously, gwen puts her hands up in defence. “just CHECKING.” she releases a slightly relieved breath of air as lux finally rolls over and faces her. gwen nods along as lux talks, understanding the feeling of NOT FITTING in pretty well. “you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. now, or ever. i PROMISE you. yeah, some people are … dictating things, but i’m not listening to them. you don’t have to either.” she says genuinely, before reaching out to try and pull some of the blankets off lux. “come outside with me. just for a walk or something. things are different, but they’re not THAT different. the sun stills rises and falls everyday. i’m still me. you’re still you.” she tries again. “do you really think you’ll be happy…? on your own?” her tone is slightly reluctant. gwen can’t think of anything WORSE.

          THEY  TELL  YOU  THAT  YOU’RE  LUCKY  ,  BUT  YOU’RE  SO  CONFUSED   /   YOU  DON’T  FEEL  LUCKY  ,  YOU  JUST  FEEL  EMPTY  .    *    she  doesn’t  do  anything  about  gwen  tugging  at  her  blankets  .  lux  lets  her  do  whatever  she  needed  to  feel  better  in  this  situation  .  the  blonde  knows  she  should  go  outside  ,  she  should  trust  others  .  there’s  a  lot  of  things  lux  should  be  doing   ––––   taking  care  of  her  family  is  one  of  them  .  yet  ,  she  can’t  do  that  .      ❛    fine  .  i’ll  go  on  a  walk  .    ❜      it’s  a  grumble  ,  if  anything  ,  but  at  least  she’s  agreeing  now  .  pushing  the  blanket  off  completely  ,  lux  gets  up  slowly  and  reaches  to  grab  a  sweatshirt  from  the  end  of  her  bed  .  once  it’s  pulled  over  her  head  ,  eyebrows  lift  and  she  shoots  gwen  a  curious  glance  .      ❛    are  you  happy  on  your  own  ?    ❜      she  said  she’s  not  listening  to  people  .  lux  just  figured  it  was  safe  to  assume  she  was  on  her  own  ,  too  .      ❛    do  i  not  look  happy  to  you  ?    ❜      it’s  sarcastic  ,  but  there’s  something  sad  about  the  smile  that  follows  .  brushing  it  off  ,  she  clears  her  throat  quietly  and  moves  towards  the  door  with  a  nod  .      ❛    c’mon  .  hurry  up  .  i  might  change  my  mind  before  we  get  to  the  door  downstairs  .    ❜

// * @feltloss

“let’s get some SUN in here.” gwen says, already pulling open the curtains of lux’s room, and glancing over at the sleeping lump of a girl. no response. gwen sighs softly. that’s been basically IT from lux for DAYS NOW and gwen understands the need to hide, or just sleep it away, but she can’t just KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. “come on. don’t you want to like… do my makeup? or watch a dumb movie with me? anything?” she tries to convince, before sitting down on the edge of lux’s bed and waiting for SOMETHING. anything. “or… we could talk. about what’s GOING ON with you.” gwen chews her lip. “you’re not… thinking of HURTING yourself, are you?”

          YOU  DON’T  FEEL  TOO  STEADY  ON  YOUR  FEET   /   YOU  FEEL  HOLLOW  ,  YOU  FEEL  WEAK  .    *    her  back  is  to  the  window,  so  attempts  at  natural  sunlight  waking  her  seem  to  fail  instantly  .  she’s  awake  ,  she’s  just  not  paying  attention  to  gwen  .      ❛    i  like  the  way  you  do  your  own  makeup  .    ❜      it’s  a  small  chime  into  the  conversation  ;  something  muffled  and  barely  audible.  still  ,  it’s  there  !  and  that  effort  isn’t  to  be  glossed  over  like  it’s  nothing  .      ❛    no  ,  i’m  not  gonna  do  anything  like  that  .    ❜      offense  weaves  into  each  syllable  with  a  slight  hint  of  a  bitter  undertone  .  lux  finally  turns  towards  gwen  ,  rolling  over  to  shoot  the  girl  a  quick  glance.      ❛    i  just  don’t  want  to  do  anything  .  people  are  going  crazy  ,  gwen  .  and  i  feel  like  …    ❜      hands  fidget  beneath  her  pillow  ,  head  adjusting  in  the  slightest  as  lux  shakes  her  head  .  shoulders  lift  lazily  .      ❛    i  don’t  belong  with  any  group  .  or  anything  .  i  just  want  to  be  on  my  own  .  i’ve  never  had  that  before  .  and  i  don’t  want  to  be  forced  to  follow  rules  that  i  don’t  agree  with  around  here  .    ❜