Felix’s#1 Fan

that’s probably after a night of conversation and trying to be #vulnerable ,, talking about the fears they had and whatever else

sage realizing that he’s taking time to get back to where he was before it all happened, and being that much more grateful for mc being with him . because he hasn’t forgotten all the time he spent alone with only his thoughts and regrets, and if mc wasn’t there he’d probably spiral again. sage laying his heart out and telling them that with as much sincerity as he can muster.

mc continues to ask for his consent before touching him and checks if he’s uncomfortable with anything

sage starting to take initiative and holding their hand first :( him letting himself sit near them, even if he can't look at them for the first few minutes :(

thinking of the day when mc goes up to sage from behind and he doesn't flinch or suddenly turn around. (you guys know that ash and eiji scene. You Know?) they try to play it cool, but it means so much to have him just quietly lean into them or ask what's up

sage having a hard day and realizing he can cuddle and complain to mc instead of holding it in. sage coming up to mc who’s definitely not expecting him to lay on top of them with a pout on his face because he’s sore and they ran out of his favourite food and—

^^ !! the relief of more lighthearted reasons as the heavier ones become easier to bare throughout the day

sage…letting himself purr….while mc brushes their fingers through his hair…. his tail wrapping around them

he starts laughing at their jokes and throwing some back again

the first time he makes one on his own, mc smiles so brightly and sage doesn’t realize at first that it wasn’t just because his joke was especially good

sometimes he still finds himself staying up or waking up from bad dreams except now he lets mc comfort him instead of trying to hide away

the first time they drink together…sage letting loose a little more…

“hm? sage the master drinker can’t handle another?” “feeling bold enough to test me, mc?” and he has that signature smirk and it’s just !@$!#!@# yeah i’ll lose a bet if it means you smile

just dates in general. sage wants to make up for all that lost time because hey if mc came back for a guy like him he wants to make sure they feel like it was worth it (and also because ohhh he loves them)

is his new cape coat thing attached to something because i want mc to try it on and despite the memories connected to it sage can’t help but snort at how endearing they are

“does it work? do i look cool now, do you think?” “yes you definitely look very cool, mc.”

semi-nsfw

sage is nervous before finally having sex again because he can’t help but remember what happened

mc holds his face and promises that they don’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, but that they aren’t going anywhere anymore. not this time

that’s probably how mc leads at first just to reassure him,, before letting him take the lead to make sure he’s comfortable with whatever they do

probably a slower, softer session the first time after a long time.

sage!! taking his time!! to truly appreciate mc!! letting them know how much he loves them and how much he missed them!! the way he undresses them and just Looks. yeah because he wants them but also because he's so grateful to have this chance again and it still feels unreal

sage's breath hitching while mc kisses all of his scars, new and old

I am in Mournfall, and Felix is dead.

A low rumble of laughter tugs mockingly at the edge of my mind. There's a scream, too. Of rage, I think. But all I can focus on is Felix.

Nothing is visible where the spell struck him-his father's spell, right in the center of his chest- his chest isn't moving he's not breathing oh god-

Felix lays completely still at my feet. His eyes are blank. Blood seeps from the edge of his mouth. 

And then I'm on my knees, gathering his limp form into my arms. There's more shouting, dull noise around me. 

I support the back of his neck, his neck that's quickly growing cold, and look into his face. His features are slack, but his brows are pulled tight in that way he gets when he's determined. The way he got..?

There's no sound anymore. Just me and Felix. Felix's body. 

A haze covers my vision. Then it all falls away.

I jolt upright with a gasp. 

I'm not in Mournfall. I'm in a bed. My bed, in my room at Blackthorn Manor. 

So it was a nightmare. 

The same nightmare I've been having for five nights, now. Over and over again, seeing Felix's lifeless form when he shielded me from Escell's spell. I settle back on the sheets and try to slow my breathing, to think of anything else. 

His eyes were so dull.

He's never been that cold.

A sob builds in the back of my throat. 

Rime's resurrection hadn't worked. What if I hadn't been able to pull Felix back? What if he'd stayed dead? What if he were stranded in the Void, at the mercy of that god? What if-

I force myself to sit up at the edge of my bed, holding my face in my hands.

Felix.

I need to see Felix.

The halls of the manor are still and quiet as always. Curtained windows let in slivers of moonlight that cut across the dark floor. The only other source of light is my chamberstick. 

My door shuts behind me with a quiet creak and a click that rings through the silence. I creep down the hall to Felix's room. 

Just to see him alive. It doesn't seem fair to burden him with the nightmares. Seeing him alive is all I need.

I knock gently. As soon as I've pulled my hand away, the door swings open, letting warm light spill into the hall.

Felix stands in the doorway, glasses hung around his neck and hair messily tied back. His eyes and mouth soften as he looks at me. Since acquiring the god's mark, it's the closest he's come to a smile. 

"Ah, come in," he says, moving out of the way. "What brings you here at this hour?"

I extinguish my candle as I enter and place the chamberstick on his desk, moving scattered papers aside. "I couldn't sleep. If I'm going to be awake, may as well have good company, right?"

His desk is messy, as usual. The papers I moved are covered his cursive scrawl and magical symbols. Beside the papers are two open tomes and a stack of three others, as well as an ink pot and quill. I glimpse the word 'god' in one tome, and the other is cracked open on a page depicting several magical seals. None of them resemble the one on Felix's chest. 

"Have you discovered anything?" I ask.

Felix sighs as he sits down at his desk, slumping over with his chin on his hands. "No. I can't find a single thing that might explain that wraith's parting gift. All of my years of study, just to end up with no answers and no magic. Perhaps the Lemegeton... But no, that's long gone."

I rest my hand on his shoulder, stroking my thumb back and forth. He's tense as he leans into my touch, but he's warm. Alive.

"I'm sure we'll find something eventually," I say. I'm not quite sure if I'm reassuring Felix or myself. 

"I've exhausted my resources here, I believe. There may be answers in Fathom, if anyone will make the trip," he said, reaching for the cup of tea that rests at the far edge of his desk. He makes a face as he takes a sip. 

I hold back an amused smile. "Cold?" 

"As the hells. Truly awful." He places the cup on his desk and holds his hands just shy of touching it, brows knit in concentration. Then he seems to remember that he can't use magic anymore. 

"I can try to warm it up," I offer. I've never attempted that spell before, but this can be the first time.

Felix contemplates this, then nods. "It's been a while since a magic lesson, hasn't it? I've fallen behind in my duties as a teacher. Well then, hold your hands like so."

He directs my hands around the cup as he had his own. Following his instruction, I focus my energy on the cup, on warming the amber liquid inside. 

A flash of light bursts from my palms. We jump back as, in a loud hiss, the tea vanishes into a cloud of steam. 

Felix and I watch the cup with wide eyes before looking to each other. 

"Ah... sorry," I say softly. 

His lips quirk upwards. "My, you've become powerful, haven't you? I'm finding it difficult to believe you aren't practicing without me, you know."

"Well, maybe," I say. Only the spells he'd already taught me. 

My eyes drift down to the curve of his lips. It had been far too long since I'd seen that smirk. It was nice.

And then our conversation shifts, flowing like it used to. As it goes on some of Felix's former dramatics are restored. 

We land on the topic of one of the butterflies pinned up inside the display case. It came from overseas, he explains. A rare find at one of Porrima's markets. 

At some point his words don't register. I'm too absorbed in watching him. His expressions, his gestures. All the signs that he's alive. 

He looks at me and frowns. 

I blink. "Oh- sorry, I zoned out for a second, what was that?"

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Perfectly fine!" I rush out. 

His silver eyes train worriedly on mine. Before he can press the matter, I say, "Please continue."

Instead, he moves to take my hands in his. "You needn't feign ease with me. Whatever is troubling you, allow me to lighten the burden."

As if sensing my hesitation, he gently cups my face in his hands, and I finally start to spill. It trickles and then pours out of me, that I've been having nightmares and keep seeing him dead in my arms. That I'm not able to bring him back.

I don't realize I started crying until Felix brushes a tear from my cheek. Slowly, he wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me close, pressing our foreheads together.

He waits until I slow my breathing to speak. "I'm sorry you've been suffering that alone."

"No, it's- I just, you've already been dealing with a lot, I didn't want to add to it-"

"I have been dealing with a few matters. All of which you have supported me through, and I am beyond grateful. So please, let me support you in turn."

After a pause, a small okay passes my lips, and I pull him in closer. He squeezes me softly, rubbing small circles on my back.

"Can I stay here tonight?" I ask quietly.

"Of course. And any night you wish," Felix replies.