"Spillage"- Superstore fan fic
TW: Emeto
Written by: Pine
This fic was inspired by the show "Superstore" because I always felt that Jonah would be the perfect sickie! Hope you enjoy!
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“Spill on Aisle 1, Jonah to Aisle 1 please” came Glen’s voice over intercom. Jonah sighed and started toward the back to collect a mop. His day hadn’t been the best so far. Nobody in the break room had brought up anything that would have allowed Jonah to segway into the latest political updates on climate change. He had watched a documentary the night before and everything! When he finally burst and brought it up himself, everyone had either sighed, rolled their eyes, or told him they didn’t care.
“How can you “not care” about climate change?” he had said. That had received much the same reception. That and he hadn’t been feeling the best. After sleeping through his alarm and two of his emergency alarms, Jonah had grabbed one of his all natural, vegan, probiotic, strawberry flavoured breakfast yoghurts and hadn’t realised it had been a little past its sell-by-date. Usually the thought of that cup filled with pink yoghurt, so many nutrients and so righteously made and sourced would have given Jonah nothing but a sense of happiness and left him feeling only a little smug at contributing to the greater good. No animals had had to suffer for his benefit of course. But today he couldn’t stop thinking of those lumps, the thickness; that too-tangy taste. He started to feel a little-
Jonah shook his head to clear it. He had the mop now and steeled himself for what came next. “Let it be water or juice” he said quietly “Or anything, as long as it didn’t come from inside someone”. He made his way across the store back to aisle one.
“Excuse me” a tall woman with a blonde bob approached. “Could you show me where the humus is?”
“Of course” Jonah said “Just wait right here, I’ll be back.”
He smelled the “spillage” before he even rounded the head of the aisle and immediately, his stomach soured. “Vomit” he said to himself “My favourite”. He walked down the aisle, letting his nose guide him to the source. When he laid eyes on the pile, he pulled up short. Something about the pinkish hue, curdled texture and off-dairy smell of it reminded him of-
“Oh god” he muttered, cupping a hand over his mouth, and reaching for his stomach without thinking about it as it churned unpleasantly. He looked off to the right at the boxes of cereal, up to the roof of the store, anything as long as he didn’t have to look at the vomit for just a moment until the feeling passed. Is that a pigeon’s nest up there? He thought to himself. Taking a deep breath through his mouth, the sickness passed and he took another deep breath, this one of relief.
“Right” he said. He removed the mop from the bucket and began mopping the spillage.
“Hey!” came Garret’s voice from behind “That looks like those do gooder yoghurts you keep in the fridge!”
Bleruuughhhh. The response wasn’t even a retch, it was so forceful that the offending probiotic yoghurt came up immediately to make a reappearance, joining it’s doppelganger on the floor.
“Oh man” said Garret. Jonah was sure he was about to quip something that would only make him feel worse as saliva dripped from his mouth, though on second thought, was that concern he heard in his tone?
“It’s fine. I’m fine! I feel better, I-“ the new vomit smelled like probiotic yoghurt and the old vomit smelled like old vomit. It was too much. Jonah keeled at the waist again and vomited more forcefully onto the floor. “Oh god” he managed again, though his voice was thick and his words were slurred.
“I’m sorry man, I didn’t realise you were gonna-“
Jonah didn’t reply this time as he fought off another wave of nausea. He just waved a hand backwards, hoping it signalled that he was fine to Garret.
“Dude, let’s get you to the staff toilets. You don’t need to be doing this here”. Jonah nodded and headed towards the staff toilets, surprised that Garret began to follow him, taking extra care not to wheel through the vomit. Jonah wondered whether it would be worse getting vomit on his shoes or if Garret got vomit on his wheels. He retched violently again and decided to discard the thought quickly. They made it to the toilets and just in time too.
Jonah rushed into the stall and didn’t even have time to close the door before he vomited again, though his light breakfast meant his stomach was empty. All that came from his retching was a strangled moan and a measly dribble of bile. Garret came to the stall door.
“I didn’t realise it would be this bad” Jonah said “I’ve been feeling bad all day, I probably should have thrown it up a while ago”
“If it was one of those stupid yoghurts you had for breakfast its too late for that now” Garret replied “I could always-“ he hesitated awkwardly, feeling uncomfortable showing this much affection. He shook his head realising he was being silly and that Jonah’s well-being was more important “I could always take you back to the house?”
“Yes” Jonah managed weakly “Thank you but-“ he turned back to the toilet bowl “Not right now”
“Why not buddy?”
“I won’t make it” his voice was echoed by the bowl and he promptly heaved again though, still, not much was coming up. He gasped and took the opportunity to speak
“You don’t have to be here man” he said. Garret could see he was a little embarrassed as he didn’t look back at him this time. Though maybe he thought he couldn’t risk turning away for so long.
“I got it man, you gonna be okay?”
“Yeah” Jonah struggled. Garret turned around and pushed towards the door. He paused. “You let me know when you wanna leave okay?”. Any reply that Jonah thought to offer was cut short by another strained and painful volley.
Garret opened the door and was met by a tall lady with a blonde bob. She crossed her arms.
“Can I help you?” Garret asked, somewhat reproachfully
“Yes actually, I asked an employee for help about ten minutes ago and he still hasn’t come back”
“I’m sorry about that, which employee was it so I can help you track him down?”
“He-“ she paused for a moment to think “He looked like he probably guilt watched the entirety of “Dear White People”?”
“Oh, Jonah” Garret said “He’s- not well at the moment, I’m sure one of our other floor workers would be happy to assist you”
“Unbelievable” she said and walked off.
Jonah knelt on the tiled floor of the employee toilets. He considered getting up only briefly as a weakness overtook him and a sweat had since broken out across his brow. How old was that yoghurt? He thought and then retched again. He heard the door open and regretted not making the effort to close the stall door.
“Hey buddy” came Garret’s voice “Let’s go home”.
“I can’t” Jonah replied “I won’t make it before I-“ he turned around and Garret saw his complexion pale then green. Jonah, now looking at Garret saw that he had brought a bucket, a bottle of water and a small bottle of Pepto.
“Oh” he said “Thanks…man”
“Let’s get you home Jonah” said Garret “I’ll cover for you”.
The first AWESOME fic by Pine over on our collab project @fetishphiliafanfics !
Also, this blog is moving over to @feeling-poorly so go follow me over there too!
