Get Back to Me

i’m so bored can someone please throw a stimulating toy into my enclosure

literally everybody who has ever been kind to me has made me kinder in return

I’m thinking about going missing

I’ve had to reread my emails up to a dozen times to take out unneeded words and apologies, because being to wordy and apologetic can make you look less professional or confident. Fake it till you make it!

Also, keep in mind that if you grew up around a single parent who did this and has this kind of history, you may have picked it up as a quirk.

Me needing to prepare an airtight case for minor bullshit like I’m my own defense attorney: what do you mean this is a trauma response?

honestly i peaked as a zygote like.. i was completely androgynous.. unproblematic.. no acne… truly my golden years

This is hands down the best tik tok ever made.

Don’t bother inviting me if your party isn’t this lit

mentally i am living in a cabin in the middle of nowhere in the woods of oregon and it’s foggy and i am wearing a big sweater and baking banana bread

best thing i learned today: “The Loud American” role in Japanese businesses

dream job.

How much do they pay per hour for me to sit around and every so often storm into the bosses office and call his ideas stupid as fuck?

I love this. I’m all for these types of friendships but I think most ppl think anything intimate is too far but friends can do these things too