golden deer propaganda @fe3h-incorrect-quotes - Tumblr Blog

Seteth: Why is your report card on the ceiling?

Flayn: You said bring my grades up.

Seteth: I did say that. Let me see-

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Hilda: Tell me everything.

Leonie: I thought you didn't gossip?

Hilda: I don't! I hoard it all like treasure and cackle like the puffball goblin I am. Now give me details!

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Petra: This is like being nibbled to death by... what are those Fodlan creatures? Have bills, webbed feet, go "quack?"

Cyril: Cats.

Petra: Cats! It is like being nibbled to death by cats.

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Sylvain: Got a vibe check at Claire's.

Dimitri: How was it?

Sylvain: I have three weeks to live.

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Felix: Vibe check.

Felix: I crave violence, mother.

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Byleth, t-posing in the doorway: Good evening, parental figure.

Jeralt, not looking up from his book: Good morning, problem child.

#fire emblem three houses #fe3h #byleth #jeralt #shitpost in human form #best dad #ik i've been inconsistent w posting lately #a lot of shit's been going on beyond just health issues #im figuring it out but there's no such thing as an easy fix #so #thanks for sticking around ^^

Claude: Hey, do you know anyone who can teach me to play the trumpet?

Hilda: Why?

Claude: I want to stand outside Lorenz's window and annoy him.

Byleth: Technically, you don't need to know how to play it for that.

Claude: You have opened my eyes.

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Dorothea: Linhardt won't get out of his room.

Caspar: Just tell him I said something.

Dorothea: Like what?

Caspar: Anything factually incorrect.

Linhardt, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a fucking planet-

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Dorothea: Are you okay?

Bernadetta: What is okay?

Dorothea: Maybe you should just rest.

Bernadetta: My resting heart rate registers as a panic attack.

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Claude: Okay, here's the plan. Have you ever seen Home Alone?

Hilda: Claude, no.

Claude: Just one booby trap!

Hilda: Claude.

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Hilda: You look cute today.

Marianne: :D

Hilda: April fools!

Marianne: D:

Hilda: You look cute every day.

Marianne: :DDD

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Byleth, to Lorenz: You have the right to remain silent.

Claude: He has the right, but not the ability.

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Sylvain: Am I in trouble?

Byleth: Take a guess.

Sylvain: No?

Byleth: Take another guess.

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Byleth: If you disrespect me ever again I'll eat your shower curtains.

Ferdinand: I have glass doors?

Byleth: Well crunchity munchity then. You think that will stop me?

#the first one didn't post let's see if this will #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #byleth #shitpost in human form #ferdinand von aegir #black eagles #hey professor? what the fuck

Claude: Introducing a new alignment- Chaotic Lawful.

Claude: I have a strict moral code, but nobody can figure out what the hell it is.

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Claude: I have nothing yellow! I'm on the yellow team and I don't have a single yellow t-shirt.

Byleth: Claude, wait! I found the box of costumes. There's tons of yellow in there.

Claude: Really? [runs after Byleth]

Dimitri: I can't believe it! I'm actually packed before Claude.

Annette: Yeah, but your colour's blue. Practically everything you own is blue.

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Felix: Love is a weakness, an evolutionary mistake.

Ingrid: You're literally making a Valentine's card for Sylvain right now.

Felix, pointing a glue gun: You're on thin fucking ice.

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