* ( o c e a n e y e s ;

“And yet we manage to come back at the same time. Why is it we never fail to meet in the most unpredictable of places. I see you’ve returned without lacking your sarcastic compliments. Funny you say that, did you have a change of heart? When I first arrived we wanted nothing to do with each others, and now you’re offering a welcoming invitation. Is this the same Austen I grew to loathe? Oh my have you changed and for the better I presume.”

“If I didn’t know any better I would assume that you planned this out all perfectly, just for that chance of us crossing paths again. Change of heart? Well of course not. You just read me all wrong, A, I never did say that I didn’t want anything to do with you. Forgive me for such an assumption, but I think your utter "loathing” for me may be the culprit here, blinding you and helping assist you in forgetting that I’m not the complete asshole that you think I am. You can’t deny that there was a time where you were actually pretty fond of me.” 

I know, right? I’m so damn lucky. Anyways, i’m Briar, pleasure to meet you.

Right, Briar, I’m Austen. The pleasure’s all mine. Where are you joining us from?

i’m not going to lie, i was a little bit disappointed with the less-than-extraordinary greeting i got when i first arrived here, but finding these bad boys under my bed makes things just a tad bit more interesting. yours, i presume ?? don’t be shy, now. i can keep a secret. 

Had I known that you were expecting such a greeting, I would have at least made some sort of effort to welcome you. Schedule a motorcade, invite an orchestra, but I guess it’s a little late for all that. Not mine actually, I’ve never been one for cuffs. I like to take the more creative route when it comes to restraints. Consider them a gift, from us to you. Welcome to the house. 

“ Absolutely awful, aren’t I? I barely made it a week without disappearing from the house. I apologize, but I’m sure you didn’t miss me. Perhaps you were happy I was gone so you wouldn’t have to listen to my dreadful voice in the shower nearly every morning. But I’m back, sadly, so you’ll have endure a little more of my horrible hums. I hope I didn’t miss to much. My father was begging me to come home for a little visit. ”

“Even though I was out for a bit too, I had caught wind that the newest and most intriguing addition to the Valleys may have fled the coop almost as fast as she came in. I feel obligated to offer you a warm welcome, tell you to take your coat off and stay a while, your shower singing isn’t the worst thing to happen around here, after all.”

You won’t believe what has just happened to me. So I get out of the private yet and get here to the house while on my way, was stopped by a quite handsome guy. Obviously I stopped and listened to what he had to say and to make a long story short, he predicted my future. Cool,right? To top it off, he said he he saw me going on a date soon and gave me his number.

He read your fortune, hm. And I suppose he didn’t ask for a cover charge for such a service either? What a real charmer. Sounds like you really hit the jackpot here. Dating someone who could predict the future could come in handy, I’m sure.

No need ta’ be crying no more, push away those tears and keep yer chin held high - Niall Horan is back in da’ Valleys. After a long deserved trip with me mam across India, I’ve come back and what a welcome. Saw Harry passed out on the sofa, poor auld’ Ayden was holding onto her water bottle like tomorrow would never come and then Roman - hah! I’ve seen dyin’ donkeys in a better state. Now I don’t know what’s more disappointing,  the fact ye all went out without me and had a fucking unreal night or the fact yer not hurling yourself at me. 

No tears here buddy --.. No offense, but I, myself, am more of a Zayn fan. I’m sure you’re great and all, but he’s already captured my heart. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of others hurling themselves at ya’, but since we’re not that acquainted yet, I think I’ll hold off for a minute. I’m Austen, by the way.

I’ve showered like, six times and I still smell like Sulfur and E. Coli. I thought The Valleys was supposed to be a bit more refined than this.

I dunno, sounds more like a personal problem to me. 

Ellie: willing to pay someone to play w my hair

Ellie: I'm needy and very sick, don't give your phone a judging glare, asshole.

Austen: idk if i'm the right guy for the job

You dare me? I don’t think anyone can actually lick their elbows unless they’re double jointed, right? I’m never one to turn down a challenge. I can’t-…you just wanted to make me look stupid didn’t you? I dare you to go fuck yourself.

Hey now, don’t go throwing around such accusations, Tai. I would never do such a thing for the sake of you making yourself looks stupid. I just wanted to know if you could do it. Don’t tell me you’re not up for the challenge.

Can someone show me where my room is? I’ve got a pack of Skittles for whomever is kind enough. 

That all depends -- what kind of Skittles are we talking? I don’t get out of bed for anything less than sour Skittles.

Listen, don’t hate me but I need your help. Right over there -don’t look! - they’re to your left, beside the pillar,  there is two guys and a girl with cameras and they’ve followed me from the gym to a cafe to back here and I really can’t shake them off. I’ve no idea what to do and I really don’t want press right now, it’s been a shit week away and coming back here seemed like a god idea. Now please help me loose these guys - hug me, hold my hand, arm around my shoulder - I don’t care but if they get some old shot of something they might fuck off. 

You want to get rid of the paps by cozying up with another dude so they get a good shot? I dunno man, seems like this may just be a ploy to get me to love up on you. I mean, all ya’ had to do is ask, not make up some elaborate scheme, y’know.

I can’t tell if you’re actually moping or not, but I found a bottle of chardonnay and I’m only willing to share if you actually need it. Be a doll and scoot over, now. Or you can watch me do my nails and read a magazine. Whatever floats your boat, I suppose. Just be sure to make yourself scarce when my date comes over.

Moping? I’m doing no such thing, I was actually just searching for someone to allow me to watch while they do something like painting their nails. Thank god you came along, Kenzie. Don’t tell me that you’re going to kick me to the curb once your date arrives. Here I thought we had the whole night laid out ahead of us with mani/pedi’s and celebrity gossip.