Well, the least you can do is pour me some fancy, rich-people scotch.

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@tfwblair
Well, the least you can do is pour me some fancy, rich-people scotch.

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make me choose ✿ anonymous asked: ↳ hayley marshall or faye chamberlain
‘Well, you can’t get rid of him my friend.’
‘Oh yeah? Watch us.’

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i, on the other hand, am just fine. you? i think you need a break. you’re getting a bit red and– probably dehydrated. how long have you been out here?
you’re far too pretty to be a buzzkill, you know.
i think you’ve had it mixed up. see, i’m great. walk in a straight line, recite the alphabet - or count to ten, whatever one it is. fuck it, one of those. you, now you i can question. we’ve only had a couple dozen, easy.
oh, wipe that smug smirk off. we ought to call one of the locals over to kiss that forehead of yours for me. maybe give you a stern pat on the back as well. don’t stop there, though. what else can you do for me? or do we need to get a few more drinks in you?
Nothin’ at all, babes. Just put yer feet up, shades on and enjoy yerself. Ah me? Would you stop lyin’ to yourself.
Ah, you’re slowly worming your way into my heart, Horan. See, I’ve heard rumours about Niall Horan and his alleged legacy. Until I see it with my own two eyes, they’re merely rumours.
Please, I’m going to drink you so under the fuckin’ bus it’ll be hilarious. You’re such a lightweight, this’ll be a breeze.
you’re about the size of this shot glass, so i reckon i’ve got a fair shot here.
Please, I’m going to drink you so under the fuckin’ bus it’ll be hilarious. You’re such a lightweight, this’ll be a breeze.
you’re about the size of this shot glass, so i reckon i’ve got a fair chance.

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Please, I’m going to drink you so under the fuckin’ bus it’ll be hilarious. You’re such a lightweight, this’ll be a breeze.
you’re about the size of this shot glass, so i reckon i’ve got a fair chance.
hey, i dunno what you’re talkin’ about. i have mastered the art of drinking under the sun, i’m doing just fine here. in fact, i’m ready for another round. how ‘bout you ?
you just worry about that next round. what d’you drink ? this one’s on me.