Behind every annoying cousin there's an older, even more annoying cousin
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@aroacegrimreaper thank you for reminding me, but small disclaimer: in Apollo's case, he's annoying his baby brother šš¤
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Behind every annoying cousin there's an older, even more annoying cousin
click for better quality pls
@aroacegrimreaper thank you for reminding me, but small disclaimer: in Apollo's case, he's annoying his baby brother šš¤

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long hair percy was real in son of neptune. he went months without cutting it and it grew to the point where he kept it in an unkempt half up half down style that still somehow looked frustratingly good (especially mid-battle) and no one could look him directly in the eye.
can i. voice a funny āmischaracterizationā (used ever so lightly and not seriously at all) that iāve been holding onto for a long time. people like to pin so much guilt onto percy over peopleās deaths and while he definitely feels it at least initiallyālike we see when he blames himself for biancaās death and says he shouldāve died insteadāthe side story of him venturing down into the underworld kinda. disproves that. like percy meets melinoĆ«, the goddess of ghosts, who taunts thalia and nico with their mothers, then turns to percy and asks where his ghosts are and he says heās made his peace with them. and granted its prior to the war so that can definitely change, but heās at the very least made peace with bianca and zoĆ«ās deaths and it wouldnāt be so far fetched to say he could make peace with everyone elseās ghosts. esp since it goes in line with his whole āif my life is going to mean anything, i have to live it myselfā schtick where he respects peopleās choices and views their fates as being the culmination of their own actions, not his. but also i love percy suffering under a guilt complex and blaming himself endlessly so iām not saying to stop. iām just saying its a little funny. to me.
finally posting it bc @meaningxmeaning said it first credit where credit is due š«”
Remember all those times in HoH when Percy did feats so amazing Annabeth couldn't understand how he was able to do so, but we never got to see Percy's narration during those scenes, and they never got to talk about how exactly he was able to do such things?
Well, I would like to show you something from SoM
First, we have Percy and Clarisse fighting Polyphemus, and barely scratching him. And then:
Mind you, Polyphemus is described as being at least fifteen feet tall.
Percy's anger in this scene seems to unlock something in him, allowing him to do things he wouldn't normally be able to. Or maybe he already could do that, but didn't know he could, or didn't know how to?
Is Percy stronger than he thinks he is? Did his anger make him stronger, or did it simply allow him to forget that he was "hopelessly outmatched", and attack without limiting himself?
There are a few moments during the saga where you get to see Percy doing things that require a greater amount of strength than what you would think he possesses (all while not being in contact with water)
From tBotL:
From HoH:
What I find interesting about these scenes is that, in the fight with Polyphemus, despite knowing how impossible what he just did is, Percy either refuses to think about how the hell did he just defeat this giant cyclops all by himself, or he refuses to tell us what he thinks about it.
Then, in the fight with Antaeus, Percy seems to be trying to play it off, reasoning that his mother always said he had "a gift for getting stuff tangled up" ā which doesn't explain at all how he had the strength to do any of it ā and also implying that this was an extraordinary situation, since he was "desperate to save [his] friends", so, obviously, that's not something he could do in a normal context, right? Right.
Then, in the scene he kills Arachne and Annabeth asks him how he moved so fast, you can't really tell if he is deflecting the question on purpose. And at last, the most interesting thing about the jump scene isn't even the jump itself, but rather the fact that Percy knew that somehow he would be able to pull it off. It seems to me like at this point, Percy is finally able to admit to himself that he is capable of doing more than what is expected. In his narration we so often see him saying that the idea of doing something is "impossible", right before he does that exact same thing.
From TLO:
(I also like this scene bc Percy is still deluding himself into thinking he's not as powerful as he is but Michael knows he can do it)
From HoH:
When Percy allows himself to try, he always seems to be able to do impossible things. And I don't think he is comfortable with this idea, going so far as only letting himself attempt to control poison bc a) he was dying and b) well, surely that's only possible bc he's in Tartarus right? That's certainly not a power he has access to on a daily basis...
But I feel like as time goes on, Percy is less and less able to continue telling himself he isn't more powerful than he thinks he is.
I looooove fanworks that explore percy's anger + capacity for destruction + inability to fit in due to his nature as a son of poseidon, and I also really like this journal article from 1943 called The Son of Neptune that discusses the topic as it appears in the myths and in history, so I screenshotted some good tidbits :) I love exploiting academia for self-indulgent fandom purposes yippeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

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wait caine/scratch and pomni/jax potentially paralleling each other in the sense that pomni kept on trying to reach out to jax and get her to open up but failed in the end as jax abstracted anyway versus caine who kept on trying to make scratch happy but nothing was ever good enough and his last desperate attempt resulted in the first abstraction
hmmā¦a pomni/caine-centric slice of life sequel that depicts the humansā daily lives while they all work together rehabilitating caineā¦.but his progress isnāt linear and heās terrified of his own anger and repeatedly swings to the opposite extreme of becoming a doormat and suppressing his own emotionsā¦..meanwhile jax haunts the narrative and both caine and pomni struggle with survivorās guilt (caine not wanting to replace her while pomni regrets being unable to save her)ā¦ā¦and while they eventually become very close friends and care for each other deeply thereās a current of underlying tension as caine develops an anxious attachment to pomni and lives in constant fear of her abstracting while pomni takes it upon herself to be caineās main ātherapistā but still holds resentment towards him for his past actionsā¦ā¦.sighs and opens ao3
did anyone else feel like a mother watching babyās first steps during that orb caine flashback sequenceā¦..like ohhhh my god heās alive. heās becoming. heās sprouting limbs and walking and wondering.
also I canāt fathom being that mad that caineās resurrection/redemption was rushed. thatās probably the least offensive thing that occurred in this finale. like letās all just pretend there was a time skip and call it a day lmao

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tadc could have the most dogshit āthis truly was our amazing digital circusā ending and I would not gaf as long as caine is there
how come no one ever brings up the comedic potential of a funnybunny/showtime love triangle where the only one who knows theyāre in the love triangle is jax
I need to know what caine did to scratch to make him abstract and why. I NEED to know. I need to know if it was on purpose, on accident, if it was out of self-defense, if he was trying to help him. I think about how frantic he was to avoid the topic in ep 7 all the time.
I like jax a lot, but the showās writing and the rest of the castās development have suffered immensely for the amount of time that has been put into his character arc, and itās kind of funny that at this point the only thing that would make any of this worth it is if they go through with making him transfem. but even so (and I really do hate to say this) I think the reveal will fall flat to me because of the treatment of the other female characters leading up to it. while jax was made the narrativeās darling and having all this effort put into hinting at his insecurities, ragatha was getting chewed up and spit out by the fandom for saying the wrong thing a couple times and for being āfake niceā, gangleās bullying was swept under the rug, we barely know anything about pomni despite her being the mc. like, we can all laugh and say we were fooled into thinking he was just another sarcastic, secretly really sad tumblr sexyman archetype and how āsubversiveā gooseworx is, but it doesnāt change the fact that a lot of the fandom WAS treating him with the typical preferential male character bias and the other women (+ zooble) of the show did not get nearly as much attention to their own struggles. yes, gooseworx said that he was meant to be the main character alongside pomni, itās her show, she can do what she wants and have a favorite, but itās still a bad look imo
anyway I really thought this final episode would be EVERYONE confronting their issues while we learn about C&A, scratch, what abstraction is, how/why caine created the circus, etc. but whatever. woe jax-centric episode #393724274 be upon ye
fuck everything else where is caine I miss caine I want my FUCKING ai wife back

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some people view kinger and caine as having a father-son relationship. others see toxic yaoi or caine being a third for kinger&queenie. REAL freaks like me like both (caine not knowing how to distinguish between different types of love and having an oedipus complex towards kinger)
thinking about the possible route theyāre going to take in ep 9 where the circus is going to be falling apart, the abstracted are going to be loose, and theyāll eventually decide that they have no choice but to bring caine back, but itās not going to be the caine we knew. itāll probably be a caine from an old backup that wonāt recall any of the events of the previous episodes, maybe wonāt even remember yearsā worth of his life. he wonāt have those experiences or memories.
it kind of devastates me because without those memories, is it really caine? it will be a caine. but it wonāt be the caine weāve known. and I suppose that comes full circle back to the questions that tadc poses about the nature of consciousness, the self, what it means to be a human (or a sentient being, in this case, I guess) ā is it our memories and experiences? are we our bodies or our brains? but no matter what, even if a version of him is brought back, his previous self was erased after hitting complete rock bottom, knowing that everyone hated him, believing that they deleted him on purpose. girl Iām SICK