w e l c o m e

i’m gonna be taking a break from posting daily updates for a bit. no worries, everything’s okay! i just have a lot going on and i don’t want to worry about writing every day. i’ll still be keeping track of interesting interactions between me and my tc so i can update you guys when i get back! and my asks/messages are always open for those of you who want to talk :-)

the past two days summed up:

i thought i was starting to get over s for the first time since my acceptance of my crush on him, but then i saw him unexpectedly in the hallway. my pulse suddenly spiked, i felt dizzy, and i could feel my heart pounding somewhere between my throat and my chest. dang it.

i got a freakin picture with him!! it was for an assignment, but still. of course i slipped and said the picture was cute afterwards (which was a little embarrassing), to which he jokingly replied, “i look like i’m twelve.” he sounded very flattered though. :-)

i’ve been making fun of his word pronunciations. he gives me a deadpan stare every time i call him out. it’s the cutest thing ever.

he’s been talking to me and my friends pretty routinely, as well as joking with us a lot. i’m living for it. <3

and that’s about it! on a somewhat unrelated note, i’ve noticed that i don’t really depend on him for happiness anymore; at least, not to the same extent as before. i haven’t recently felt the need to talk to him about something not school-related in order to have a “good day.” it’s...relieving, honestly. i think i’m doing better. :-)

i’m so sorry hun :( there’s not much you can do about the first one, but look on the bright side! even if he does that with a lot of students, he’s still dedicating time to e-mailing you as well. that counts for something! :)

as for the second one, i know how frustrating that is, especially if you put in a lot of effort into the class. :( i can’t say much about that since i obviously don’t understand the situation to the extent that you do, but keep working hard until the professor is forced to remember your name because of how great a student you are!!

s assigned a bunch of work to my class on our first day back //cries// bUttt at least he was in a good mood! my friends and i had some deep discussions with him during class that i really appreciated. it was nice.

at the end of class, i asked for his advice on something important, and he was very willing to listen :-) ! he was so upfront with me too, like...not giving me any bs. and that’s exactly why i asked for his advice, because i appreciate that he’s honest! i know i can always trust him with that kinda stuff because he doesn’t sugarcoat anything.

((also unrelated, but cute: he said goodbye to me as i left and it made me smile))

i didn’t talk to s at all during class today :/ my anxiety decided to hit me with those “stop talking to him so much you’re so annoying” thoughts...how fun. i did manage to muster up enough courage to tell s to have a good weekend when the bell rang, but he didn’t hear me. rip my confidence :/

i passed s’ room between periods because i had to talk to one of my former teachers about something, and her room is close to his. i saw s on my way back to class. i waved to him, and at first i thought he didn’t see me because another student was talking to him, but he smiled and waved back and said, “have a good weekend!!” so that made up for him not hearing me earlier :-)