✧ robyn

୨୧ some things abt me:

i’m 19

british, she/her ♡

i use a fake name/tc initial obv

cap sun, taurus moon, libra rising

✧ F

he's twice my age 🏃🏻‍♀️

he’s not my teacher anymore since i’ve just finished school :(

has indie style and is generally rlly cool lol

pretentious hipster tbh

(F if u see this just pretend u didn’t x)

!! i do not condone trying to tear apart happy families & morally incorrect relationships lol

hello tcc! i haven't posted in a whopping 6 months which i suppose is a good thing because i've been occupied with my job (ew i'm getting old) and my gap year before uni. recently, i've been working on a big project in a town near mine, and i met a boy that's also part of the crew. he's two years younger than me and we started talking about our A levels when he revealed that he's in the first year of the college i just graduated. so i asked him what courses he's taking. to cut to the chase, he has my tc as his teacher.

i told him that i used to have the same teacher and i found out that he still uses the mug i made for him !! anyway. since finding out this connection to the college, i've 'relapsed' on my crush and i'm just wishing i could go back in time to my first year of college so i could see him again.

i've officially confirmed my place at uni (1 hour away from him - i know i'm crazy) and i just keep wondering if there will ever be a time where i see him again and we'll be able to speak as two people outside of the whole teacher-student dynamic. it's to the point where i'm considering paying for a fucking psychic reading just so i can get some closure!! lol.

i've decided to start a little series for my tcc girlies that are wondering what it'll be like after they graduate and are no longer their tc's student. i hope this is somewhat interesting to some of you! (they're gonna be long and detailed, apologies in advance xx)

in may was my last ever college day. i finished my A levels, got my results in august and now i'm doing a gap year before i decide what to do with my life. i'm now an adult.

at first i found the concept jarring and to be quite honest, really scary - my tc F is a man that i've formed an attachment to and the thought of (most likely) never seeing him again made me sick to my stomach. the thought of him getting a whole new wave of students and forgetting my name completely kept me awake at night. how was i going to say goodbye for the last time? how would i make sure he remembers me? did i just completely waste 2 years of my life trapped in a practically parasocial relationship instead of acting like a functional young girl? (yes). i ended up giving him a small painting, some chocolates, a custom mug and a little thank you note that he framed. and i remember the last thing he ever said to me. "have a good life"

have a good life. dude?? i laughed and said "don't say that!!", he laughed too and i walked around the corner. i didn't see him after that. i'm doing my gap year now and the time has rolled around again where students in the UK can apply to university. another teacher that took me under his wing, we'll call him N, has been persistent about me going to uni and told me that i should contact him if i'm thinking about applying. N is in the same department as F and they're close friends, so immediately i picture N telling F about what i decide to do (i was close with them both).

i opened microsoft teams yesterday to message him. my account has been locked. all of my files and my messages and my data is gone from my college years. i can never access my messages again. of course, i still have screenshots and memories in my brain but it still hurt to read that error message. and yes, i'm still going to email N but it's made this whole time period so much more real and hard hitting. why does time have to move on??

anyway, going forward i'm going to email N about my options and subsequently i'm sure F will hear all about it, they like to gossip and both of them seemed concerned about my plans moving forward. who knows, maybe they'll want to have a meeting with me to help with applications? that's what my parents said anyway (thanks for feeding my delusions). if this does happen, you best believe i'm having a glow up before i return after half a year. 😋

i’m not his student anymore, never will be. i guess my blog now is gonna be following the journey of the process after having ur tc as ur teacher because 😭😭 it’s interesting