Red vs. Blue starters (Volume 2)
I am not your mother, so donât come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesnât like.Â
Iâm telling you, heâs crazy. He keeps threatening me, and talking in a scary voice.
Is this gonna be one of those things where I have to turn my head and cough?
Arenât you here to join our squad?
I think you need to come up with a new plan. Preferably one that involves me keeping the same quantity of blood that I have right now.
I donât have a gun, I am a pacifist.
There is no way this bluff is gonna work.
Youâre surrendering! You donât get anything except humiliation and ridicule!
I would just like to let everyone know, that I suck.
Water? We ran outta water six months ago.
I only drink the blood of my enemies. And occasionally a strawberry Yoohoo.
Oh man, that is a burn. Dude, you just got burned. Burned, dude, burned.
Sorry man, but itâs pretty obvious that youâre really unpopular, and if Iâm gonna make any progress around here at all I canât really be directly associated with you. Iâm sure you understand.
All I hear is that voice, you know, telling us to kill all our friends before they have a chance to kill us.
Help, the jeep is kidnapping me!
How âbout we just donât take any more prisoners, since we seem to suck at it.
What a way to go. Killed by my own mechanical creations. Iâm sure thereâs a philosophical lesson to be learned from all this.
I know that you said a lot of things that you didnât mean. People say crazy stuff when theyâre faced with their own mortality.
What? You canât fight a machine gun!
What in the hell is going on at this base?
What? Youâre not just gonna leave me out here in the middle of nowhere⌠by myself?
Whatâs going on? Are they there? Did they leave? Hey, somebody tell me whatâs happening!
Listen, ___, youâre not fooling anybody with that innocent victim routine.
Your soul is a cavern of lies!
You have such excellent motor skills.
Buenos dias, cockbites. Guess whoâs back.
Thereâs a very fine line between not listening, and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life.
Are we going on a trip? I love trips! Can we play I Spy? And the License Plate Game?
I ainât got all day. I gotta gut this fish.
Oh I see. You have no idea what I should do or how I should do it, but whatever I do I should do it fast.
Hey, the box is there for a reason. I like thinking inside of it. I feel safe in there.
Do you have any food? I love to eat all the food.
So after I clipped my toenails, I was gonna apply the ointment as recommended, but I donât know - it just smelled really funny. So, I decided to taste it, just to make sure it was safe.
Well old buddy, it looks like this is the end for us. Since weâre gonna die anyway, thereâs only one thing left for us to do.
I donât seem to have any memory of you. My name is ___. Itâs a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Itâll be a cold day in hell before I take orders from you.
I got half a mind to kill you, and the other half agrees.
I donât know, it looks like some kinda alien artifact. Do the aliens have, like, a home base or something here?
Donât try to move too much, youâve been through quite the ordeal.
I do not like to dream. I try not to think while Iâm sleeping.
I think youâre kind of obsessed with being my best friend.
Donât tell me they cancelled the holiday party again. Those cheap bastards.
Come back to me! I made you a muffin!
How about this time we try something that doesnât involve me being shot at or run over.
Look we canât just sabotage their equipment, thatâs rude.
Hello? Whoâs there? Please help me! Iâm scared of myself!
You wanna braid each otherâs hair?
Shut up you idiot, weâre not here to fight. Weâre here to negotiate.
Are we gonna have a sleepover? Because that would be sweet.
Did you just shoot yourself in the foot?
I think this is what they call the calm before the storm.
Oops! Sorry about that big explosion!
I think it would be ironic, if everyone was made of iron.
I just had a really weird feeling that Iâm never gonna see this place again.