Journey of Personal Improvement

I've become an incredibly firm believer of only controlling what I can control and ignoring all of the other influences that are beyond my capacity.

That said I find myself at 305 lb. Although I am newly on metformin at a very low dose I have also received testing that states my testosterone levels are exceedingly low. I'll begin testosterone (TRT), and have recently improved my diet.

Best part is I've gotten back to basics by drinking the right amount of water per day.

Physically, feeling better.

Mentally, still working through some things.

My wife and I are officially separated. I've purchased a new home and have almost completely move out of "her house".

We have agreed on a custody schedule for now but spending time in this new place without my kids feels wrong. I did bring 1 of the 2 dogs at least.

I've gained nearly all of my weight back and largely due to stress eating and alcohol. Gonna get my ass back onto that Peloton in the coming week.

More importantly, I'm in the process of buying a new home which fully solidifies the divorce process. I never wanted to own my own home. I only ever wanted to own OUR home. I hate every moment of this but there's no turning back now.

Here's to an improved mental health!

Noom daily totals:

🟢Green Calories: 0

🟡Yellow Calories: 695 out of 896

🔴Red Calories: 1,000 of of 498

House is officially in her name which means that although we have agreed I would continue to live here until I find my own place, I suppose technically I don't own my home nor rent and am couch surfing? On the couch I bought with all of the stuff surrounding it that I also bought. Kinda of a head scratcher.

Not gonna let it derail my restart toward a healthier me.

Noom daily totals:

🟢Green Calories: 100

🟡Yellow Calories: 1,090 out of 896

🔴Red Calories: 593 out of 498

Feeling ok about today.

Ate within the calorie window, respected the complete 12 hour fast, go outside to enjoy the sunshine, got a sunburn as a result.

Great day

Noom daily totals:

🟢 Green Calories: 55

🟡 Yellow Calories: 0 out of 882 🤷‍♂️

🔴Red Calories: 1,760 out of 490 🤦‍♂️

Went on my 3 mile walk today. My focus is improving my pace. Right now I'm averaging a 3 mile walk in 1 hour 1 second at 3mph.

Want to slowly incorporate small straightaways worth of very light jogging.

Noom daily totals:

🟢Green Calories: 0 😱

🟡Yellow Calories: 1,330 out of 882

🔴Red Calories: 320 out of 490

Perhaps it's time to move from Day# to Entry# since I've not posted consecutively in a few days? In reality I've gotta get my ass fully back on track.

Today I ate well. Forcing myself out of my comfort zone. Hate fish but has a 911 sushi roll for dinner and it was pretty good.

I've exercised 3 out of 4 days this week too.

Noom daily totals:

🟢Green Calories: 0 😱

🟡Yellow Calories: 579 out of 882

🔴Red Calories: 1,020 out of 490

I went out for a walk before sunrise. It was nice and brisk out. Have some early calls tomorrow but would like to get out again at some point in the day.

Noom daily totals:

🟢Green Calories: 884

🟡Yellow Calories: 820 out of 882

🔴Red Calories: 100 out of 490

I've been hurting....divorce isn't easy and yet my wife and I never fight, we really never have. She doesn't look at me or speak to me and I've been sleeping on the couch for nearly 3 years. I spiraled recently when I agreed to let her keep the house and signed it over for her to refi.

Fell off the perverbial wagon as it relates to a healthier body and mind.

I'm back and ready to take on the mental challenge

Noom daily totals:

🟢Green Calories: 200

🟡Yellow Calories: 180 out of 882

🔴Red Calories: 1,510 out of 490

What a day. Looonnnngggg Monday but still great day.

Noom daily totals:

🟢Green Calories: 0

🟡Yellow Calories: 1,350 out of 882

🔴Red Calories: 580 out of 490

I had my worst emotional day I have had since the divorce talks.

Last night I formally signed the house over to who will ultimately be my ex-wife.

This morning, a home appraiser came out and the poor guy was just doing his job and I screamed at him. In hindsight, I was absolutely lashing out.

Ate way more than I needed and exceeded my calories by 600ish.

Noom daily totals:

🟢 Green Calories: 0

🟡 Yellow Calories: 970 out of 873

🔴 Red Calories: 1,604 out of 485

Went over by 245 Calories today......oh well.

On another note, I'm an emotional puddle right now. Just signed my house over to my soon to be ex. I'm devastated but it is the right move for my children.

They are my entire world and I couldn't stand the idea of making them leave this home because it had to be sold.

Noom daily totals:

🟢Green Calories: 580

🟡Yellow Calories: 520 out of 873

🔴Red Calories: 1,085 out of 485

I kicked but today.

Tomorrow I will exercise.

Today I finished the day super full but really didn't consume many calories. Did drink a ton of water too.

Feeling good.

Noom daily totals:

🟢Green Calories: 112

🟡Yellow Calories: 919 out of 873

🔴Red Calories: 257 out of 485

Venting time:

Wife and I are at splitsville. This is entirely her decision. We've talked and she's made her thoughts well known. Today I was asked to be home for a home appraiser so she can refinance the home. I have agreed to let her stay in the house but declined the request to be available for the appraiser. Why on earth should I make it easier to be asked to leave my home? Am I being selfish? I'm 100% distraught.

Noom daily totals:

🟢 Green Calories: 138

🟡Yellow Calories: 809 out of 873

🔴Red Calories: 728 out of 485