Mah Inner Baby ^___^

Happy 23rd, will return laterz :3

Happy 23rd, will return laterz :3

I have been really busy trying to get consistent in my job. I had a coworkers laugh at m for likening abdl so much and called me gross and bullied me. It made it really hard to explore this side of my life style and the longer I’ve been around people I feel it slip a little :( I have been training my hole and enjoying pup space ! And just being reslly open. But I will try to make sure this blog gets up and running again. It’s been here since like 2013 , so I can’t just quit. I just have had a lot of challenges to over come. I’m not even sure how someone would find out this about me or why they would even care to talk bad about me. It’s always been a sad space or me to enjoy being intimate and free of judgement. But I don’t want to be alienated :( but regardless. I’m not there forever. He’s gone now anyways. Like he literally has died. I go him fired I told my boss about how he was bullying me. Nd nooooww my crush has his name tatoooed on his arm. Great. And he’s a furry too and I’d totally worship his stinky paws. But oh well I gotta just pretend he never existed or never lead me on( he’s dating this girl from my hs who I rejected caus I was th e biggest diaper cuck ever. I still am. I think I made a post about needing a daddy and saw rela time engagement and I’d like to just express that I see myself struggling with those diff ult feelings. Ageplay can bring. Ummmmm. I wouldn’t say I’m sad or mad either. Idk. It’s just what’s up. I want to get remote work so I can establish and each my goals I just need to get drawing again. I took a class and learned zbrush and I have had this manifestation for some time. It’s the other side of the moon for sure. I’ve thought lots about astral projection and tried using clairvoyance and remote viewing to pass the time. I see myself thinking s lot. My automatic writing perk was thru the fuxking roof earlier it was insane. I could tell I was stressed. I guess if I reslly hold my emotions and honor them and be the biggest abdl I can I think I’ll feel safer. I noticed how much safety abdl can give me it’s intense. I used to doubt suffering from cptsd /dissasociative disorder but after getting medication for the first time in my life and purging abdl big time I reslly can stand at a very different spot and say, “okay, let’s swing the other way. guess that’s a lot of info. I have to save up my cash so I can have some stuff to live off of while I work on my protfolio and apply. But I have a bunch of game ready assets or close to ready 3d modeled it’s just I wanna draw it out and have a drawing I can post to art station to 3d model. Ummm. Instead of sitting there playing overwatch 2. 24/7. That’s what the career is for. I dunno. I haven’t been so abdl so much lately and I think it’s time we fix that. For sure. I haven’t ever been around so many people so much or been so independent so it’s a new experience too. I also need to ride cock and train. Fr. Umm idk. I’m in kinda messy spot. Have you guys ever felt this? Idk. I bought a pup hood and viborator and if I jerked off to diapers every night I didn’t think I would have. But idk. Ummmmm. I guess im just upset. But im not. Ok I’ll stop writing for sure. Bottom things 🫣. I got the ost job and I was promoted while I was studying a new software for game development and now I have to allow myself to feel all sorts of stuff.

About him. To him. Insulting him as much as I could. I had had it. But now? I let the whole wide world know I felt this way abo it him so it would get back to him and it wouldn’t be any pressure it would just be info because I know I’m a good lay but I’m not gonna wanna stick around long enough to even hold hands. So it’s all just masturbation. I’d rather use my dildo. I have hit my g spot inbetween the time of posting these for the first time in my LIFE. Btw. I wanna use it with someone in the room. Like a daddy. But yeah. He called me son. So I called him dad. But he’s not the only one. I found myself overwhelmed just being in proximity to people full time. Living in an aparmtmenr and not the acres of woods secluded alone. That was big. It reminded me of my early childhood and teen years and just walking down the side walk as a big moment. I’m not sure how much of this is repeative. But oh well :3 umm YEAH. so it’s NOT just diapers or scat. But it’s just a whirlwind. What do I do? I hope you guys are impressed with my little portfolio snippet. I haven’t actually sat down and like designed original concept art in 3d and finished before and have it be presentable. It’s not done for sure. But it’s a closer step to remote work. Which means gym, better living situation, diapers, and exploring my 20’s. OH. I also had done emdr recently to help me be in ph luv and be seen. I can totally not feel like myself and I’ll start to feel really really different when certain things happen in a sequence. Uhmm. But I take LDN and stuff. I really really recommend ldn because it doesn’t have any negatives and it helps focus and energy and people who struggle with disassociation. It was a life changing therapy I wish I had sooner. I’d love every day hearing voices of bullies, family members constantly talking about horror and true crime and seeing it and not being able to be where I physically was, feeling and remembering it. So it was like I was trapped in a room with a bunch of angry bees in my mind no matter what I compsrmentalize. But it’s never been a problem anymore. Hearing the voice of my family members or soemthing say reslly awful lies that would pull me away from what was real, who I was, remembered and felt and how THEY felt about me. No matter how much love they gave me. It was awful, because I can be REALLY kind. But I recommend ldn and looking into it if you ever struggle with ptsd and stuff like that. Ummm what else. Oh. I had to do emdr with being seen and eating out. I was spending 3k a month because I never cooked …. And I kept complaining about paying to have a problem like that. Until I opened up. And I found it was because I was lonely , scared, hopeless, and so many sad things. And I wanted to project it and make someone do all that work for something I didn’t want or would waste (oh my fod. Okay. Cancel me. ) and I was projecting onto the food!! But I am a full time chef. So I am now cooking all my meals at home and I found this place that’s really cool and puts me in an investment based mindset about the littlest things like soap. So yeah. I had a big ol tantrum and I had to say sorry. And the best way to do it is just making your hands move. One thing about ldn is that it gives you energy so some nights I will go four hours of sleep and never notice. Like I went to work early and did overtime and then I was asked out on a date (omg I was not expecting this but a coworker really wants to get to know me but im so boring he’s like my first friend as an adult I don’t let myself even gsme online without doing busy work for my little. But yeah. I wanted to share because I have been in my crib soooo close to daddy. I talk to my teddy bear like my daddy bear can hear :3 and I try to imagine a big crib with a mobile and monitor and toys on it. And making my leg guards push all the way out and my work computer desk as those play pens with the gates and blankies inside. !!!! Maybe I’ll try to make the cast of wild kratts as quick as possible in zbrush as a warm up while sucking on my thumb(I CANT STOP.) and binge watching

Literally why would I invest my energy and love knowing you could never give what I give back to me , and you have a tattoo of the guy who bullied me for being into diapers. And killed himself after quitting his job because I asked him to be respectful. Six times. And had an entire day doing a bucket list. Okay. Bye.

I have been really busy trying to get consistent in my job. I had a coworkers laugh at m for likening abdl so much and called me gross and bullied me. It made it really hard to explore this side of my life style and the longer I’ve been around people I feel it slip a little :( I have been training my hole and enjoying pup space ! And just being reslly open. But I will try to make sure this blog gets up and running again. It’s been here since like 2013 , so I can’t just quit. I just have had a lot of challenges to over come. I’m not even sure how someone would find out this about me or why they would even care to talk bad about me. It’s always been a sad space or me to enjoy being intimate and free of judgement. But I don’t want to be alienated :( but regardless. I’m not there forever. He’s gone now anyways. Like he literally has died. I go him fired I told my boss about how he was bullying me. Nd nooooww my crush has his name tatoooed on his arm. Great. And he’s a furry too and I’d totally worship his stinky paws. But oh well I gotta just pretend he never existed or never lead me on( he’s dating this girl from my hs who I rejected caus I was th e biggest diaper cuck ever. I still am. I think I made a post about needing a daddy and saw rela time engagement and I’d like to just express that I see myself struggling with those diff ult feelings. Ageplay can bring. Ummmmm. I wouldn’t say I’m sad or mad either. Idk. It’s just what’s up. I want to get remote work so I can establish and each my goals I just need to get drawing again. I took a class and learned zbrush and I have had this manifestation for some time. It’s the other side of the moon for sure. I’ve thought lots about astral projection and tried using clairvoyance and remote viewing to pass the time. I see myself thinking s lot. My automatic writing perk was thru the fuxking roof earlier it was insane. I could tell I was stressed. I guess if I reslly hold my emotions and honor them and be the biggest abdl I can I think I’ll feel safer. I noticed how much safety abdl can give me it’s intense. I used to doubt suffering from cptsd /dissasociative disorder but after getting medication for the first time in my life and purging abdl big time I reslly can stand at a very different spot and say, “okay, let’s swing the other way. guess that’s a lot of info. I have to save up my cash so I can have some stuff to live off of while I work on my protfolio and apply. But I have a bunch of game ready assets or close to ready 3d modeled it’s just I wanna draw it out and have a drawing I can post to art station to 3d model. Ummm. Instead of sitting there playing overwatch 2. 24/7. That’s what the career is for. I dunno. I haven’t been so abdl so much lately and I think it’s time we fix that. For sure. I haven’t ever been around so many people so much or been so independent so it’s a new experience too. I also need to ride cock and train. Fr. Umm idk. I’m in kinda messy spot. Have you guys ever felt this? Idk. I bought a pup hood and viborator and if I jerked off to diapers every night I didn’t think I would have. But idk. Ummmmm. I guess im just upset. But im not. Ok I’ll stop writing for sure. Bottom things 🫣. I got the ost job and I was promoted while I was studying a new software for game development and now I have to allow myself to feel all sorts of stuff.

About him. To him. Insulting him as much as I could. I had had it. But now? I let the whole wide world know I felt this way abo it him so it would get back to him and it wouldn’t be any pressure it would just be info because I know I’m a good lay but I’m not gonna wanna stick around long enough to even hold hands. So it’s all just masturbation. I’d rather use my dildo. I have hit my g spot inbetween the time of posting these for the first time in my LIFE. Btw. I wanna use it with someone in the room. Like a daddy. But yeah. He called me son. So I called him dad. But he’s not the only one. I found myself overwhelmed just being in proximity to people full time. Living in an aparmtmenr and not the acres of woods secluded alone. That was big. It reminded me of my early childhood and teen years and just walking down the side walk as a big moment. I’m not sure how much of this is repeative. But oh well :3 umm YEAH. so it’s NOT just diapers or scat. But it’s just a whirlwind. What do I do? I hope you guys are impressed with my little portfolio snippet. I haven’t actually sat down and like designed original concept art in 3d and finished before and have it be presentable. It’s not done for sure. But it’s a closer step to remote work. Which means gym, better living situation, diapers, and exploring my 20’s. OH. I also had done emdr recently to help me be in ph luv and be seen. I can totally not feel like myself and I’ll start to feel really really different when certain things happen in a sequence. Uhmm. But I take LDN and stuff. I really really recommend ldn because it doesn’t have any negatives and it helps focus and energy and people who struggle with disassociation. It was a life changing therapy I wish I had sooner. I’d love every day hearing voices of bullies, family members constantly talking about horror and true crime and seeing it and not being able to be where I physically was, feeling and remembering it. So it was like I was trapped in a room with a bunch of angry bees in my mind no matter what I compsrmentalize. But it’s never been a problem anymore. Hearing the voice of my family members or soemthing say reslly awful lies that would pull me away from what was real, who I was, remembered and felt and how THEY felt about me. No matter how much love they gave me. It was awful, because I can be REALLY kind. But I recommend ldn and looking into it if you ever struggle with ptsd and stuff like that. Ummm what else. Oh. I had to do emdr with being seen and eating out. I was spending 3k a month because I never cooked …. And I kept complaining about paying to have a problem like that. Until I opened up. And I found it was because I was lonely , scared, hopeless, and so many sad things. And I wanted to project it and make someone do all that work for something I didn’t want or would waste (oh my fod. Okay. Cancel me. ) and I was projecting onto the food!! But I am a full time chef. So I am now cooking all my meals at home and I found this place that’s really cool and puts me in an investment based mindset about the littlest things like soap. So yeah. I had a big ol tantrum and I had to say sorry. And the best way to do it is just making your hands move. One thing about ldn is that it gives you energy so some nights I will go four hours of sleep and never notice. Like I went to work early and did overtime and then I was asked out on a date (omg I was not expecting this but a coworker really wants to get to know me but im so boring he’s like my first friend as an adult I don’t let myself even gsme online without doing busy work for my little. But yeah. I wanted to share because I have been in my crib soooo close to daddy. I talk to my teddy bear like my daddy bear can hear :3 and I try to imagine a big crib with a mobile and monitor and toys on it. And making my leg guards push all the way out and my work computer desk as those play pens with the gates and blankies inside. !!!! Maybe I’ll try to make the cast of wild kratts as quick as possible in zbrush as a warm up while sucking on my thumb(I CANT STOP.) and binge watching

I have been really busy trying to get consistent in my job. I had a coworkers laugh at m for likening abdl so much and called me gross and bullied me. It made it really hard to explore this side of my life style and the longer I’ve been around people I feel it slip a little :( I have been training my hole and enjoying pup space ! And just being reslly open. But I will try to make sure this blog gets up and running again. It’s been here since like 2013 , so I can’t just quit. I just have had a lot of challenges to over come. I’m not even sure how someone would find out this about me or why they would even care to talk bad about me. It’s always been a sad space or me to enjoy being intimate and free of judgement. But I don’t want to be alienated :( but regardless. I’m not there forever. He’s gone now anyways. Like he literally has died. I go him fired I told my boss about how he was bullying me. Nd nooooww my crush has his name tatoooed on his arm. Great. And he’s a furry too and I’d totally worship his stinky paws. But oh well I gotta just pretend he never existed or never lead me on( he’s dating this girl from my hs who I rejected caus I was th e biggest diaper cuck ever. I still am. I think I made a post about needing a daddy and saw rela time engagement and I’d like to just express that I see myself struggling with those diff ult feelings. Ageplay can bring. Ummmmm. I wouldn’t say I’m sad or mad either. Idk. It’s just what’s up. I want to get remote work so I can establish and each my goals I just need to get drawing again. I took a class and learned zbrush and I have had this manifestation for some time. It’s the other side of the moon for sure. I’ve thought lots about astral projection and tried using clairvoyance and remote viewing to pass the time. I see myself thinking s lot. My automatic writing perk was thru the fuxking roof earlier it was insane. I could tell I was stressed. I guess if I reslly hold my emotions and honor them and be the biggest abdl I can I think I’ll feel safer. I noticed how much safety abdl can give me it’s intense. I used to doubt suffering from cptsd /dissasociative disorder but after getting medication for the first time in my life and purging abdl big time I reslly can stand at a very different spot and say, “okay, let’s swing the other way. guess that’s a lot of info. I have to save up my cash so I can have some stuff to live off of while I work on my protfolio and apply. But I have a bunch of game ready assets or close to ready 3d modeled it’s just I wanna draw it out and have a drawing I can post to art station to 3d model. Ummm. Instead of sitting there playing overwatch 2. 24/7. That’s what the career is for. I dunno. I haven’t been so abdl so much lately and I think it’s time we fix that. For sure. I haven’t ever been around so many people so much or been so independent so it’s a new experience too. I also need to ride cock and train. Fr. Umm idk. I’m in kinda messy spot. Have you guys ever felt this? Idk. I bought a pup hood and viborator and if I jerked off to diapers every night I didn’t think I would have. But idk. Ummmmm. I guess im just upset. But im not. Ok I’ll stop writing for sure. Bottom things 🫣. I got the ost job and I was promoted while I was studying a new software for game development and now I have to allow myself to feel all sorts of stuff.