The World Cup has got me thinking about footballers and messing....
A young, cute new guy soils his tiny briefs on the pitch after a bad curry the night before. He drops to his knees and sobs while it rushes out, so obvious and humiliating in his small white shorts, and the camera catches every fart and squelch.
A cocky older player (the champion of the team / the poster-boy) gets a sponsorship for an experimental new food / drink brand. He hates the product but his greed and need to put his hot body everywhere makes him push for it, until it's practically all he eats. During a livestream for the brand, he shits his expensive clothes; the fart is liquid, super obvious - he laughs and talks loudly to hide it, but soon it's everywhere. The hosts try to cut the stream but not before the internet clips him starting to cry as diarrhea bubbles up his back.
The whole team gets a stomach bug and spends half-time in the locker-room throwing up and wrestling for the toilet bowl. The manager does his best to care for them, feeding them electrolytes and wiping them up when they inevitably mess their shorts, soothing them like a dad. There's a lot of groaning, whining and clinging to each other, but they try to be brave.
A dirty match (heh) between two warring teams comes to a head when a player is downed by an opponent. As the ref rushes on to tell him off, the player on the floor (now sobbing in pain), begins to pee his kit. As the medics get him on a stretcher, his bowels give out too - and loudly. The rival team jeers; he faints and wakes up in a clinic, swaddled in a diaper "for precautions".
