Typed Up Musings

Chapter 3 (Volume II) - The turmoil that finally broke out

It didn’t take him long to find the file he was looking for. It was a video simply named “Guest”. He double clicked on it and the security footage instantly played out in front of him. Gon’s lips instinctively stretched into a smile.

“I’m seeing something beautiful again.” It was a vow of reverence, a whisper of admiration.

His proclamations were mostly to himself - it was never a pick-up line to woo his girl 🖤.

Now onto the main event...

TKEM novel writer - how dare you tease Gon like that?

The next footage showed Tae-Eul wearing the Queen’s formal robes.

“Ah.” Gon’s jaw went slack, mind completely dazed.

Seeing Tae-Eul in a formal royal dress… this was something he had never imagined before. She had simply said “not today” when asked about being his Queen… Yet the elegant garment embroidered with gold and red threads suited her perfectly.

... This moment. Right there staring at his girl, his beautiful Tae-Eul, made him happy and sad at the same time.

How I wish the episode would let us see her in an actual queen outfit as well (instead of the cutout).

Then comes one of the saddest scenes that I love, and, dread.

Gon gave a mirthless laugh, his heart constricting in a painful squeeze.

“I think I’m going to miss you so much. Can’t you come with me? Can’t you live with me in my world?” He already knew the answer but he asked anyway.

... Gon wasn’t the only one hurting. Tae-Eul felt a tightness in her chest, her almond eyes cast down, voice wavering in a sea of melancholic emotions. Her anguish only cut him deeper.

No words could make up for expressing how sorry he was. Gon chose to kiss her instead, pressing his lips against hers in a a sweet, short interlude.

... Feeling immense love, yet overwhelmed by a constant heartache. Because they couldn’t fulfill the other’s wishes and desires.

The push-and-pull between love and obligations. When you know what your heart wants but you are not free to embrace it and yet you are too in love to let it go. I hurt for them every time I watch this scene.

Would this day ever come? Would he see this picture turn into reality one day? Gon found it hard to look away from the frozen image of Tae-Eul in the Queen’s dress, a beaming smile on her face.

“… I hope you’ll say yes.”

His wish remained unheard, fading away in the empty room...

The pining - his, and HERS. Yes, hers. Tae-eul wouldn’t have put that queen outfit on if she hadn’t at least wished for it. Remember, she didn’t grow up with fairy tales or play dress-up.

I don’t believe they can live with that push-and-pull forever. It would have been too much and too limiting. So I have my view on what she eventually says.

One additional note - this is in the episode but I just want to say I can’t with the foreshadowing:

“Even if I have eternal life in there, I will still come back to you. If I’m late, it’s because I’m on my way.”

The slow current of water flowed endlessly under the glow of the bridge’s lights, the soft river breeze blending with the smell of water. Even though they were probably a few weeks away from snow-filled days, winter sometimes brought unusually warm weather.

She didn’t like the look on Gon’s face, which betrayed a mix of happiness and sorrow.

Can you blame Gon? This is only the second time they were able to be physically together [and I don’t mean THAT 😳] after they became a couple and it has been too brief. A perfect place for a perfect date - yet he knows, and she knows, their time is fleeting.

Being together with this kind hearted man definitely made her feel like time flew more quickly. He was sitting next to her, but she already missed him.

Bravo to @accioecho for the feels. I love fatalistic writing... and the last sentence is so well translated to tell us exactly how bitter sweet Tae-eul feels. But girl, something’s gotta give sooner than later... and I suspect deep down she knows it but she’s still fighting it.

“I was pretending to be okay, but I’m not. You’ll be back soon, right?”

Chapter 1 (novel 2) - Today is more precious than forever.

The two of them stood in the empty field side by side, both gazing at the sun setting down far into the distance. This place they were at was Song Jeong-Hye’s— Lee Ji-Hun’s biological mom, last known address.

The second book of the novel opens with one of the loveliest and the saddest exchanges between Gon and Tae-eul.

Tae-eul had been wanting but not knowing how to comfort Gon - now that she had learned about his history and his reality. She invited Gon because she thought he wanted to meet the woman with his mother’s face. At the same time, she worried about his feelings. And ladies and gentlemen, that’s love. Always thinking on behalf of, always wanting to protect the other person.

Gon was comforted - not by her actions - but by her intentions.

Gon couldn’t help but be happy at seeing her so concerned.

I also love this scene because it let us see how playful they are with each other.

The cinematography of the show was stunning - the open field with the sunset in the back drop. It amplifies the ending of the scene  - the beauty of their love against the fate that stood in their way. The sun was setting and they might be running out of time.

“So what’s your answer? Will you do it?” Gon’s eyes grew serious.

He was being sincere. Tae-Eul knew it, too. Gon closed the distance between them, pulling her tightly against him. Tae-Eul didn’t try to push him away. She burrowed closer, pressing her face against his chest. His embraces felt familiar and warm now. Like she was coming home. She wanted this moment to last forever, a safe cocoon where time stood still.

He was like home. Tae-eul wanted time to stand still. Eventually she would have to decide if he would be her home.

“Will you do it?”

“If I say no, will I never see you again?”

Would Tae-Eul know that Gon’s heart stopped beating for a fraction of a second there? She probably wouldn’t. Slightly hurt, Gon looked down at her with a piercing gaze.

I remember feeling Gon’s hurt watching this scene. Why, Tae-eul? We know you wanted to say yes.

“So it’s a no?”

“Not today.”

What did it mean?

“I’ve been thinking. I’m just going to live for today and not think about anything else...”

“… In moments like this, couples pledge their eternal love. But we’ll only live for today?”

Tae-Eul wanted forever too. She wanted to live happily ever, in the safety and warmth of his arms.

If only their universes were one.

But that was just wishful thinking.

“That’s right. There’s no tomorrow for us. That’s why I’m hoping today is a long day.” Trying her best to ignore Gon’s tormented look, Tae-Eul grabbed his hands again. “This is why I’m holding your hand. Because we’ll only live today.”

They both wished this road would never end.

They both wanted forever. Tae-eul thought they couldn’t have forever when they each belonged in a different world.

How sad is it to love as deeply as they do but to think there won’t be a tomorrow for them?

Chapter 18 - “Just choosing to love you.”

Right before she was due to start her stakeout, Tae-Eul took a short break to meet Gon. She had asked him to stay at Eun-Sup’s place for the time being but he had booked a hotel room instead.

Re-reading Chapter 18 was timely actually. My best friend watched TKEM on my recommendation and she texted me during the week to say she thought Tae-eul was a bit schizo 😲:

“Didn't you find her being cold at times and then missing him Soooo much and running into his arms when he shows up?”

She wasn’t the first to have said that. Why @accioecho is doing the fandom’s work when some of the details from the novel are so luminating:

... when Gon first came in the Republic of Korea. In her world, he had no official name, no job, no real identity and this was one of the reasons why Gon always kept by her side... Over time, Gon’s presence had become as familiar to her as the sight of the moon in the dark of night. A constant anchor. To the point that she felt a heavy void filling her heart on moonless nights.

Gon did that - a month in the Republic was a serious commitment, espeically given the context. He was serious enough about Tae-eul, about knowing her, he didn’t think twice about putting himself out there for her.

So it wasn’t a sudden change of heart. Tae-eul’s feeling towards Gon has been growing, even if she did not show much of it outwardly. 

Fate was determined by the choices they made but there were times when fate chose them. This was the case for Tae-Eul, for Gon. They stood together. In front of their fate.

... Daily life was short enough as it was and Tae-Eul couldn’t prevent the sad feeling that it was all fleeting. So she took a decision. She would break free of the fate that chose her. She would not avoid anything and let go of her doubts and suspicions.

From then on, she would just decide on loving him.

Tae-eul had thought much about the kind of daunting fate that she would have to face together with Gon if she chose him. And she did have a decision to make. She made that decision - then her action and attitude followed. Her being cold at times when she didn’t know if she should believe him was a reflection of her inner struggle. But that “coldness” was done with once she decided to believe him, to be with him.

~

A while ago, @ambitious-witch pointed out to me that Gon wasn’t as open as people would have thought. He was the most willing to share with Tae-eul but he did hold back quite a bit. Chapter 19 shows us just that:

“Are you okay?” Tae-Eul asked, concern evident in her voice.

Instead of addressing her worries, Gon chose instead to redirect his focus on the brother’s wife.

Gon redirected, even with Tae-eul. He also didn’t reveal to Tae-eul the secret of the manpasikjeok until after she escaped from Lee Lim’s men in the Kingdom.

Gon was realizing, as he spent time with Tae-eul - that she really was his soul mate because he could trust her completely, that she only had his best interest at heart.

Tae-Eul caught him off guard. This was a thought that hadn’t even crossed his mind. Leaning back, he laughed heartily. Just looking at Tae-Eul brought him comfort and he was glad to be  able to go through all this together with her.

Chapter 17 “A joint investigation”

With her, he is never the king (there’s a meta I want to write about this whenever I find time in my life 😣). He is a man in love with a woman. He doesn’t give her orders or feels superior - he listens and lets her show him who she is. He never tries to fit her into a mold - he is truly invested in knowing her and he admires/loves her for her - why none of us can ever move on.

Tae-Eul’s shooting abilities were incomparable. Gon was no match for her. Sure, when he saw Tae-Eul’s remarkable skills he had first felt a little embarrassed by his poor performance. However that feeling had quickly been replaced by pride.

“Why do you like that stuffed animal anyway?” Tae-Eul asked when she saw his proud smile.

“Because it’s a lion. It resembles you. Lions are fierce, courageous. And impressive.”

He respected, no— liked her bravery. This trait was one of the things that made Tae-Eul inherently her. But just this one time, he wished she was less courageous.

... He was wrong. She was braver than he thought. She was brave and amazing.

On her end, Tae-eul falls hard for Gon because she knows the two of them understand each other and she is her better version because of him - she has found her soul mate.

Despite all this, there was one thing that she was sure about.

Gon probably didn’t know this.

Yes, she had always been courageous. But in that instant, the reason that gave her strength, the reason why she felt she could be braver was because of him. Because he was by her side.

...There was a time not so long ago when Tae-Eul thought she would never understand him... She thought he was just a crazy guy and they would never be on the same page.

Before she knew it, she found herself understanding Gon’s way of thinking and perfectly being able to read his feelings. Because she was the same.

Chapter 15 - “The secret only I know”

Exhibit A: Jeong Tae-eul

She wished Gon would come back soon. She wished he would appear right there, right then, in her courtyard atop Maximus.

The voice she longed to hear all this time rang clear in the empty courtyard. Turning around, Tae-Eul saw Gon standing tall...

From the Kingdom of Corea to the Republic of Korea. Crossing universes.

Tae-Eul knew how far these two worlds were. How big the space between 1 and 0 was.

There were a few things she could do now. She could touch him. She could embrace him.

...

“Just a normal daily life with you. Call you… chat on the phone… Ask you what you did today… and tell you that I missed you a lot.” Gon went on.

He was saying aloud all the things Tae-Eul had been thinking about in his absence.

Thanks to the novel, we can read more of Tae-eul’s inner thoughts. We see that she wants to share a life with Gon as early as the start of their relationship, and she is painfully aware that living in two separate worlds is what stands in their way.

Do we not think she will see the necessity of not living in two worlds so her heart can get what it wants eventually?

_____________

Exhibit B: Lee Gon

“Have you been waiting for me?”

Unable to tear her eyes away from him, she nodded once more.

Gon who was equally glad to see her let out a small laugh. “That’s a relief. I was a bit scared that you didn’t want me to come back—”

With Tae-Eul’s head tightly pressed against his chest, Gon felt his heart skip a beat. Silently, he wrapped his arms around her.

He had spent hours and hours searching for Tae-Eul...

“It seems like you bought it and waited for me to come back. Why did you save Shin-Jae’s number though?”

Gon felt a surge of happiness at the idea that Tae-Eul bought this phone for him and waited for him to come back to give it to him.

“Don’t hang up. I always wanted to try this.”

“What is this?”

“Just a normal daily life with you. Call you… chat on the phone… Ask you what you did today… and tell you that I missed you a lot.” Gon went on.

“Me too.” Tae-Eul admitted in one breath.

Gon’s chest tightened, joy rippling through him. He didn’t know his heart could beat so fast.

Lee Gon has searched for Jeong Tae-eul for years. His heart wants to find the special someone so he no longer has to be alone.

The novel describes those things his heart does when he is with Tae-eul - which tells him she is that someone.

countdown to christmas: home alone (1990)

“ Hey! We stick together. You know, we all did this. Nobody’s a victim. We … we stick together. ”

Hello dear Nonny, thank you for your message :3Since a few other people have also asked me about the Kitchen Scene™, h e r e y o u g o ↓ (bear with me, I translated this part a bit hastily so this is a loose translation). 

Under cut because this got long.

Again, this “lose translation” flows so beautifully maybe @accioecho should always be pressed 😋.

Yes, this part basically follows the show - but we now know more what registered in Tae-eul’s mind and heart:

Now she thought of Gon whenever she felt lonely. Because that’s how he probably felt too, back in her world.

This validates her own contradictory feelings towards Gon when he was in the Republic the first time.

The novel also let us know more about how affected Tae-eul was seeing Gon’s scar. We wouldn’t know that from the show.

And this:

Whether it was 25 years ago or today, the only person who was able to unburden this heavy load was the one person whose existence made no sense in his world.

Tae-Eul couldn’t help but feel the unfairness of the situation. She had always been Gon’s constant, his zero. Without realizing it, she had started wanting to be his zero as well.

plus,

He had always been the sharp, dutiful King leading a country for most. But to her, he was an honorable man with a vulnerability that only she could see.

... how Gon & Tae-eul pull us into their fated story of love.

This chapter as a whole in the novel, gave us more insight into Tae-eul’s discoveries - of Gon’s world, of her belief and trust in him, of her admiration of him, and of her deeper-than-she-could-admit feelings for Gon.

in any world { i’d choose you }

- my painting inspired by the kdrama king: eternal monarch is all done 

Chapter 14 - “Calling out your name”

Gon was smitten - and he was not afraid for others to see - Yeong, Secretary Mo, his security team and PM Koo - the only one who didn’t quite see it was TE, probably because she felt she couldn’t measure up to PM Koo.

KSR’s complete disregard of her King’s boundary and feelings was made more apparent as we found out LG/JTE/KSR met on the helipad (instead of just in front of the KU building) because she took the chopper to stick her nose into something that’s not her business.

Gon clearly didn’t appreciate PM Koo’s innuendo. And now that he is pursuing a relationship with Tae-eul, he’s right to worry about her getting the wrong idea. And here we learn Tae-eul could see the PM covet Gon and she did feel intimidated by and thought she couldn’t compare herself to the elegant and flawless PM. YIKES all around!

We see more about Gon and TE discovering each other’s loss. She didn’t want his sympathy here but it opened the door for it to become part of their bond later.

It’s also important to know, a part of TE already didn’t want to leave KOC/LG.

Chapter 13 - “A made up mind”

“From the moment he had asked her to be his Queen back in her world, he had envisioned this moment. When he came back to the palace with Tae-Eul in another universe, he had thought about it again. The fact that this had all come true put a smile on his face.”

We know from his guards and his staff’s reaction that Lee Gon rarely displays “regular happiness” during his day-to-day. The glimpses of true companionship we have seen before he met Tae-eul would be his interactions with Jo Yeong. It warms my heart she would slowly displace that loneliness.

“Assuming she would get hungry at some point, Gon had gone down to the royal kitchens to personally cook dinner for her.” ~ Two words: Boyfriend/Husband goals.

“They were each other’s white rabbit, both chasing after time, trying to capture elusive moments together.” ~ Insight like this is why we need the novels.

“Even so, Tae-Eul felt this was unfair. She could easily accept that the idea of her existence could be construed as inexplicable, confusing. But to see her as a threat seemed excessive.

Tae-Eul stood rooted on the spot, silently listening to La dy Noh’s hurtful words, unable to reply back.”

I remember being surprised by how unreasonably harsh Lady Noh was to Tae-eul while watching the episode the first time. The novel helps point out it was her emotional response - the feeling of being threatened. And this is how fear works - she let it cloud the one thing she really wanted in all those 25 years - Gon’s happiness. She didn’t realize her best intention - in the name of protecting now an adult King who can fend for himself - could drive away his only shot of finding his soul mate. What if Tae-eul wasn’t as brave or tenatious, or as willing to follow her heart?

“When Gon was with her in the Republic of Korea he had never lied to her once. He kept telling her about his world...

...Those vibrant eyes inviting her to his home. He had made her long for him. He had made her want to believe him. He had made her miss him...

...Their two worlds were too different anyway...

...Lady Noh had advised her not to get too curious, to not even think of staying here. But it was already too late. She could not go back.” ~ Oh thank god!

“The bed Tae-Eul was lying on was smooth and comfy, but it felt like its surface was made of tiny thorns.” All the description in the book allows us a better glimpse into Tae-eul’s inner struggle and how uncomfortable she was at first with the reality of the two worlds she and Gon belong in respectively.

“Seriously. The man was chiseled like a classical sculpture. And with his eyes closed like he had now, he looked even more like a greek model.” ~ Oh mama, the attraction was never one-sided!

“Gon smiled, barely containing his joy. For the first time in a long while, he felt genuinely, truly happy.” ~ How dare anyone take that away from him, whether it be Lee Lim, Jo Yeong, Lady Noh, PM Koo... y’all have to go through me Tae-eul  first.

Chapter 12 - Crossing the space between 1 and 0

This reads like a beautifully written adaptation rather than a translation of text. The description you used to capture the emotions behind the scenes is A+.

Back to our Gon and Tae-eul...

The added inner thoughts that we weren’t privy to onscreen of how beautiful Gon saw Tae-eul as. It mirrored the “I saw something beautiful” proclamation. I must say though we could feel how mesmerized Gon was watching that sexual tension superbly acted out by Lee Min Ho and Kim Go Eun. I also think at this point of the story, Gon has gone from loving the idea of Jeong Tae-eul as related to his savior, to truly loving her as who she was - the woman he had met, spent time with and got to know. And he wanted a future with that woman.

Chapter 11 - Appearing like the first snow

She was happy to see him - even if she had to hold herself back.

Glad to learn the novel was clear and gave more details about the fact that Tae-eul had been thinking about Lee Gon and had looked for him everywhere in her world after he left. Simply put, she knew deep down she did like him (even if it wasn’t entirely romantic yet). So to those who, for whatever ill reasons, like to assassinateJeong Tae-eul’s character take note: all that happened BEFORE she went to his world, not after.

And Gon’s hands were large (we see that too - LMH’s hands are noticeably larger than KGE’s), Tae-eul’s hair was soft...