Fangirlkarly

so basically i got sent this ask from an aita blog because someone who follows us said it sounded like it could be about awsten. our general conclusion was that yeah this anon is kinda crazy and some details definitely lined up, but wouldn’t it be weird if this was actually about awsten? (everytime you think this on this blog means it did happen and it is as insane as you think)

i do think you should read that post for yourself to catch all the insane details but basically this person got his number at a tennis court and then he ghosted them same day. then funeral grey comes out and they draw some parallels between their (incredibly brief literally less than 24 hours) interaction. listen i know im not the biggest fan of funeral grey but for some reason this person took such offense at such a nothingburger interaction and song that awsten and the 1d writer pulled out of their asses, that their logical conclusion was to frantically attempt to contact him to find out if the song was about them and also take legal action despite nothing identifying or slandering in the song. almost everyone on the post (including the literal no fly list leaker) calls them the asshole and advises them to not take legal action and see a therapist because it’s clearly a them problem at this rate.

so years go by after that ask and then we hear ilwc for the first time and i’m like. huh why does that restraining order part sound familiar. and why do people keep telling me $25k is actually way too much for filing a restraining order.

so someone does the digging for me and turns out this anon does take the legal action through self representation and it’s even worse than i thought for some reason because they also tried to repeatedly contact his girlfriend, claim that he was repeatedly coming to a coffee shop to stalk them (it was literally like a few blocks away from him from the info i have), and claimed the ip events were around their apartment to intimidate them. mind you one of the reasons they cite wanting to take legal action was supposedly bc of having industry family but i saw this person’s name and i have legitimately never heard of anyone with this name in my life famous or otherwise.

so long story short awsten gets the filing dismissed because. hello he’s the one being stalked here and actually pulls an uno reverse on anon and files his own restraining order and triples the distance of the order filed on him to anon and apparently that part already cost like $10k so there’s the explanation for that one line in ilwc.

who up ralphing their macchio

there's only like one in existence but there's other pics of him in the same shirt he had for the job bc he wore it at an o9k halloween show

waterparks is a pop rock band from houston texas consisting of awsten knight (vocals, guitar), geoff wigington (guitar), and otto wood (drums). formed in 2011, their first ep release and members solidified in 2012, most of the history of waterparks has been lost to time and funny lies that warped into lore.

until now.

disclaimer: do not contact/harass anyone mentioned in this post. their names are only being mentioned for historical reason and many mentioned are not in contact with the band anymore.

SUGAR FREE, DAIRY FREE

6–8 Mini Brownies

✦ Ingredients:

• 1 small ripe banana (about 60–70g)

• 1 egg

• 1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder

• 1 tbsp oat flour (or blend oats)

• 1 tbsp honey or 1 tbsp sugar-free syrup

• 1 tsp vanilla

• Pinch of salt

• Optional: 1 tsp mini dairy-free chocolate chips (for the girlies who want extra chocolate)

✦ Instructions

1. Mash banana in a small bowl until totally smooth.

2. Add egg, vanilla, and honey/syrup. Whisk together.

3. Add cocoa powder, oat flour, and salt. Mix until combined.

4. Pour batter into a mini muffin tray or small ramekins.

5. Bake at 350°F (175°C) for 10–12 min.

• The center should look just set — don’t overbake.

6. Let them cool 5–10 min so they get fudgy.

✦ Nutrition (approx.)