what is the ability to consent?
this post will go over what informed, risk aware consent is, and what the ability to consent really means.
1. Risk Aware Consensual Kink, and how it relates to contact stances.
you may have heard the abbreviation RACK before, a term that better encompasses more "dangerous" kinks than it's more well known alternative, Safe Sane Consensual Kink (which not only uses sanist language, but is also very vague, seeing as safe is completely subjective). But we hardly see this applied to paraphilias and contact stances. so in this new context and setting, let's go over what it means.
what Risks are there to be aware of? that entirely depends on what you are thinking of consenting to. "risks" could encompass:
the laws where you live and legal consequences.
the consequences on oneself, weather that be physical or emotional.
your ability to safely remove yourself from the situation, and find the help you need if/when you might need it.
consenting to certain actions may be dangerous due to the environment you are in. if you cannot properly report abuse, assault, etc, then the risk of things going wrong can skyrocket, and it's important to be aware of that.
2. how this ties into the ability to give consent
if you do not know the risks or the information listed above, you likely cannot give fully informed and risk aware consent. many people boil down the ability to consent to just age, or weather or not one has the brain capacity to understand the gravity of what they are consenting to. but the truth is, brain capacity varies incredibly from person to person, and it heavily relies on how an individual has been raised, educated, and their own experience in the world.
a being may not be able understand the gravity of the situation if they grew up in or are currently in an environment where the gravity of similar situations has been downplayed, ignored, or simply not talked about in detail/at all.
before you consent to something, consider these factors, do your research, and apply critical thinking skills to your actions and where they might lead.
if whatever actions you are considering also involve another being, consider if they can give proper, informed, risk aware consent as well. if not, it is better to inform them and make sure they are risk aware, or not involve them at all.
if you believe someone is making the wrong decision when it comes to consent, the best course of action is not to tell them that is the wrong choice, but to give them resources and information so that they can make their own choice, while also being fully informed and as safe as possible.
