hi,

I was recently inspired to draw a little comic based on a magnificent scene from The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon 🍊 I love this book so much!!

i haven't been active here in a while cause i've been struggling a lot with health & trauma.

i'd hate to ask, especially as i know we, as a community, struggle with finances, but i've been struggling to get my meds & some tests done for a while, so if you could help in any way, i would be eternally grateful.

i've long since moved back in with my parents but it's not the healthiest environment & they don't acknowledge my conditions & disabilities; i'm not even allowed to use my cane which has resulted in several injuries, especially as my room is up some stairs.

they don't let me have access to my meds, and have recently been withholding my antidepressants & fibromyalgia meds, which are really the only ones i need to take regularly.

i also have some neurological tests pending as my tremors & blackouts have been more frequent & prolonged, and i've also been losing my hearing in one ear due to untreated nerve damage.

i'm not explaining these to generate pity, i just feel the need to explain in case you decide to help because i don't want you to feel like it won't be useful. anything is helpful at this point, honestly, so if you can spare even a little, please do.

my information is below:

This is happening because trauma is hard on the human body, and your body will spend all energy just trying to fight it, or repress it, or process it. The emotional pain of trauma being processed is enough to cause physical pain, chest pain, pain in all of your joints, headaches; your body will be so tense you can end up in chronic back pain and muscle pain just from all the tension and inability to relax. Your mind will be re-living the past and your body will react accordingly, getting terrified, shocked, tense, and finally showing all the damage you couldn’t feel when the abuse was happening. Even if you felt nothing while it was happening, there was no way to avoid this, your body can’t keep the trauma hidden inside of you forever.

One thing common for recovering victims is to feel intense shame for resting, for spending so much time in bed, feeling sick and worried about their future because they can’t get it together enough, or can’t get their tasks done due to pain and detachment from reality. You’ve all experienced being shamed for resting, being blamed for your own pain, and told you have no value if you’re not productive and hardworking. However, none of this applies to you right now. You need to rest. This rest is for survival. This is comparable to recovery from life-threatening injury, you cannot be expected to function or shamed for being lazy if your body is broken and barely hanging onto life. You are surviving, and you need rehabilitation and care, not feelings of inadequacy or shame for still daring to be alive.

Portraits of the people of Siberia by Alexander Khimushin

✌🏽

Based on @ deathbelle_ ‘s post on TWT

Person B: no ❤️

Person A: holy fuck

Person A: how did you