FandomRose

Love lost

Next year, I'll tell him next year.

This is what you always told yourself. Then Aedes Elysiae burns, then he meets Mydei, then you're both working hard on your studies for Professor Anaxa, then the black tide is more of a threat, then we become official Chrisos Heirs. Every excuse not to confess and potentially ruin your friendship, you take.

Then the Trailblazers fall from the sky. You see it. You know. Phainon falls quick and hard for the Trailblazer Stelle and you watch, now unable to say anything because you know, you know. His heart will never belong to you.

Then, during the party for the rebirth of Amphoreus, you heart is shattered. Phainon drops to one knee and proposes to Stelle. Stelle says yes. Any hope you had was completely dashed.

Now you were sitting at the back of the wedding venue, not able to bring yourself to smile, you don't want to sit in your assigned seat where Phainon could see you. You knew he'd worry if you didn't smile. You always acted when he worried.

"What are you doing?" A deep grumbling voice breaks you from your self pitying reverie. You turn not too surprised to see Mydei beside you, giving you an unimpressed look.

"Mydei..." you sigh, Mydei knew of your secret love. He'd faithfully kept it a secret for you. "I can't do it." A little bit cryptic, a little bit pained. He knows though, he always did.

"You can and you will." Mydei says simply, crouching next to you. "Everyone knows you're supposed to be there. Including Phainon. He's worried."

Your shoulders slump, defeated. "I will only worry him more if he sees me like this."

Mydei places his hands on your shoulders and squeezes. "Then don't. Square your shoulders and smile. You just need to get through today, then you can cry and scream and curl into a ball if you need to. He needs to see you there, you have been friends since you were in swaddling cloths. Take a deep breath and be there, for him."

You don't respond immediately, thinking. He gives you the time, not pushing you. Ultimately, to you, there wasn't much to think about. "For him... I'll do it." Your voice was small and resolute. It makes Mydei crack a small smile for you.

"Good. Let's go." He pulls you up and leads you to your seat at the front. He pats your shoulder, his final act of comfort before you're left alone to try and get through this. Chancing a look up at Phainon, you see him breathe out a sigh of relief and grin down at you. You give him a smile that you hope doesn't look too pained.

Thankfully Mydei, as his best man, grabs his attention and straightens his suit. It was a brilliant white with golden and blue accents. A beautiful mix of both Phainon and Stelle. It makes your heart ache, your stomach drop, and bittersweet fantasies drift through your head of him standing there, waiting for you.

Soft music drifts, the doors open and there stands Stelle, absolutely gorgeous in her dress. You chance a look at Phainon and the love in his eyes and the immediate tears of joy that spring to his eyes causes a physical ache in your that heart makes you wince.

With every step Stelle makes you zone out. Having to just to get through this without breaking down. You clap when you hear others clapping and stand when you're supposed to stand, other than that you aren't focused.

It isn't until Mydei steps in front of you that you come out of your own head.

"Time to go. Party time." He says, without any humour, offering his hand to you.

Wordlessly you give him your hand, needing his stability. He pulls you up, "little fool," he calls with no heat, practically dragging you along. "Two hours, then you can feign illness."

Drowning at the party

And so you were in the after party, just sitting with Mydei, drinking cocktails to drown your sorrows as sweetly as you can. You weren't sure why he was sticking with you, then again he wasn't really a party guy. You appreciate it though, feeling a little better having someone with you.

You have to pretend not to notice the pitying looks other guests give you, especially the Castorice and Hyacine. Even Cypher doesn't stop by to tease you, instead putting an extra drink on your table for you.

"Am I that obvious?" I mumble into my 3rd drink, bemoaning my existence.

Mydei grumbles an assent. "You have been for years. Except to the one person you hoped would notice." He reaches forward and pokes your head. "Lift your head and look-"

He points, Phainon and Stelle are dancing. Twirling around the dance floor, joyous and in love. It hurts but you look, staring, searing the vision into your mind. "He's not yours. He never will be. Your hesitation caused this. Understand and move on." Mydei says, all firm and stern, unyielding.

He was cruel but right. It hurts terribly, but what else could you do? "I..."

"Five minutes, then we'll excuse ourselves." You chance a look at him, and he too has his eyes burning the vision into his memory. But why?

"Five..." you sigh, forcing your gaze back on the newlyweds. "Okay..."

Each minute passes slower than the next. The vision of Stelle being where you wanted to be burned into your memory. She's beautiful, strong, kind, a little crazy. You liked her too, she was your friend, your saviour. You loathed your envy of her. To you, both her and Phainon deserved all the happiness in the world, even if said happiness didn't include you.

Escape to... where?

Once 5 minutes passed Mydei drags you to say your goodbyes to everyone, then takes you to your designated room.

"How do you feel?" He grumbles, sitting on the bed with you, leaning against the headboard.

"Like my heart has been run over with a train." You say blankly, just staring at the far wall of your room.

Mydei fixes you with an unimpressed look, reaching over to flick you in the head.

"Very clever little fool." He sighs, "you need to get over this."

Before you can protest he cuts in with more words of painful wisdom. "I know, I know it's hard and painful right?" He brings a hand to his chest, over his heart, "hurts here doesn't it?"

"Yea..." you say, rather pathetically. Your own hand coming to your heart, tears springing to your eyes, your next words small and pathetic. "My heart... it's broken..."

"Let yourself cry for tonight, little fool. Then, move on, for your own sake." Mydei, ever steady and solid, gives you the space and solace you need to move through this pain. He pulls you closer allowing you to cry into him. So you do.

Letting yourself cry into his chest until there's no tears left. "Let it out." He mumbles. Caressing your head to soothe you.

Aftermath and a confession

When you'd done crying, you stay curled up on Mydei, head on his shoulder. "Hey, 'di?" You start softly, getting his attention.

"What is it?" He looks down at you giving his attention.

You hesitate before speaking the question on your mind quietly. "Have you... ever felt like this before?"

You feel his muscles stiffen and flex under your head. "... I have." He says simply. Not seemingly willing to let anything else out just yet.

Surprised, you look up at him again. "Really? Can I ask who-?" You see him frown, he sighs and you aren't sure if you've upset him or not.

"... Phainon." He says then, no build up or preamble. It nearly knocks you out.

"... oh... oh..." you say intelligently. "He got both of us in one fell swoop then."

"That he did, damnable deliverer." He says it like he means to curse, but there was a hint of fondness you manage to pick up.

"... how did that happen for you then?" You ask, feeling like sharing in your pain with him.

Mydei doesn't respond, looking at a painting on the wall.

"... for me... it was when we were very young. 12 years ago..." you begin, looking up at the ceiling. "We were running through the fields and out to the pier, feeling invincible as kids do. I... I slipped and discovered I couldn't swim. I was drowning, sinking into the sea. When I came to... Phainon was leaning over me, those beautiful eyes worried, his fluffy white hair soaked and dripping. He was shaking me and panting, begging me to wake up. Once I recovered he ran to the top of a large bolder, the sun directly begin his head, halving him and he proclaimed himself my hero and that he'd always save me. I've loved him ever since. He's never really changed."

"... wow... he really hasn't changed." Mydei huffs, shaking his head "HKS. For me... it was the first time he beat me. Properly bested me. Knocked me halfway across the sparring grounds, I looked up at him and the stupid grin on his face. The confidence, the way he brushed his sweaty hair from his face. It had been a while since I'd felt that way."

"Haha, that's so you. Of course you'd fall in love with someone who kicked your ass." You couldn't help but chuckle, somehow feeling a little lighter after sharing stories. Your head lolls a little, exhaustion now bleeding into your very skull. "Though..."

"No. That's all you're getting out of me today. You look tired and I am tired... don't pout."

"I am not tired..." You all but slur, head drooping onto his shoulder.

"Sure, sure... you just want to hear more of my heartbreak to make yourself feel better. Little fool." He says softly, without any heat.

"We're heartbreak buddies..." You slur softly, lolling your head on his shoulder the drinks you'd downed catching up to you now. "We should share more stories...."

"Little fool." He scolds, poking your head. "Heartbreak buddies indeed." He sighs and lays you down. "Sleep. Then when you get up, focus on yourself." He pats you, about to walk out, stopped by your hand closing around his wrist.

"Stay... please..." you whisper, very much not wanting to be alone right now.

He hesitates for only a moment before staying, getting into the bed with you and pulling you closer to his chest. He'd never admit it, but he needed the comfort too. "Sleep, little fool." He grouses, sighing as he settles down, pretty much using you as a stuffed Dromas.

Time passes, and pain...

You and Mydei had gotten into a routine in these times of peace. He's spending more time with you now that Phainon is spending more time with Stelle. Weekly baking sessions coming together and chatting about new scrolls. There are so many more writers now that peace had been achieved.

You have your little two person bakery and book club while rebuilding the tattered remains of your hearts.

It was already 9 months later. Time felt like it was flying. You and Mydei were sitting on the sofa, snaking on sweet and savoury baked goods when the doorbell rings.

Tension rises immediately, like both of you know something is different. Mydei rises to get the door and moment later comes back with Phainon and Stelle.

They looked radiant and excited about something.

"Hey, Hey bestie. Haven't seen you in a while." Phainon greets, arms wide expecting a hug. If he realised anything was off with you he didn't mention it.

You reciprocate, getting up and hugging him, his warmth and scent immediately triggering your heart to beat quicker.

"Hey 'nonnie, Hey Stelle. How have you two lovebirds been? Married life looks to be treating you both well." You reply, plastering a polite smile on your face. You can see Mydei nod in approval behind Phainon, encouraging you to stay calm and level headed.

Phainon smiles a most dreamy smile and immediately launching into how wonderful it is to be married to Stelle and various tales of their married adventures. All culminating in an almost sheepish "Speaking of, we have somewhat of an announcement for you two."

Mydei steps closer to you, offering silent solidarity. "What is it Deliverer?"

Phainon brightens with excitement again and it hurts your heart.

He opens his mouth and you brace yourself.

"Stelle and I are pregnant." He says with all the excitement he could muster.

You feel Mydei tense next to you before immediately stepping forward to clap Phainon on the shoulder, congratulating the two of them. Giving you time to think.

It was like a whirlwind in your head, a heaviness in your chest, a shortness of breath. The seconds that pass feel like hours before it stops.

It was like something clicks in your head.

You finally move, the couple thankfully distracted by Mydei.

"That's amazing you two. Are you excited?"

"Absolutely, it's a brand new amazing adventure." Phainon said. "And, another thing. We want you and Mydei to be the primary Aunt and Uncle. The god parents if you will. Alongside March and Dan Heng of course."

It was an honour, one that puts a deep ache in your chest and tears in your eyes. "That's... wow. You'd really want that?"

Phainon tilts his head and envelopes you in a tight hug that makes you panic for a moment. "Of course i would. You've been my best friend since we were children. If there is anyone I'd want to be there for my children it would be you."

"I... I will.." you manage to get out. Desperately holding back your tears as you pull away. "It'd be an honour."

___________________

A strange relief

Once the happy couple have left you and Mydei sit in silence, letting the news wash over you. He pulls you close holding you solent and steadfast against his side.

"You okay?" He asks, uncharacteristically weary.

He doesn't press or pry even when it takes you over a minute to answer.

"I'm... okay actually. Something... changed." You weren't sure what it was at the time but the realisation hits you now. "I'm not... in love with Phainon anymore."

Mydei squeezes your arm, grumbling. "Good. It's about time."

A humouless laugh leaves you. "Yea... yea it is. I still love him but not like that. Not... romantically." You sigh. "Good.... it is good. What about you?" You ask, though, you'd got a feeling his feelings had died a while ago.

Mydei nods "I'm over him too... it was at the wedding actually."

"That... really?" You look up at him surprised, not expecting it to be that early.

He nod solemnly, "yes." He takes a breath before continuing. "I saw him happy with Stelle, and... I couldn't picture us side by side in that same way."

You look down again, flopping your head on his arm "I see. That's good."

"How do you feel about.... not being in love with him anymore?" He asks, eyeing you with a small bit of caution, as if he'd worry you'd be upset.

Taking a big breath and an even bigger sigh you answer easily despite the gravity of your feelings. "Well... free i guess." You sigh again, "12 years of being agonised by these feelings and they're finally gone. I feel like I can live for myself now."

Mydei sighs in return and squeezes you again. "Good. You should have been doing that all along."

"Yea... probably." Looking down at how close you are and how natural it felt another worry springs to mind. "We aren't going to stop.... doing this are we? Spending time together?"

Mydei grumbles, tilting his head down to look at you "Hm? No... we don't have to stop doing this just because you aren't heartbroken anymore."

"Good, good... thank you."

You don't see the way he smiles at you when you aren't looking.

_____________________

Unexpected

Two months later and it wasn't the first time Mydei was kept awake with thoughts he'd rather, at least, save for the day. Tomorrow, or rather later on today at this point, he'd be hosting you again. His mind is filled with plans to cook and bake all of your favourites. To let you ramble on and on about your favourite chapter of the most recent scroll series you were both on.

He disliked lacking in sleep, but for you, he'd endure. You were all he really thought about these days. The feelings disturbingly similar to what he thought about when his heart still lied with Phainon. He didn't hate it though, he never had any room for regrets. Though the thoughts of you were a little annoying, disrupting his day like this he had his routines and you disrupted them more than Phainon ever did.

In the end Mydei throws off his covers and gets up, deciding to go for a run and a bath to try and calm his thoughts before you arrive.

_________

When you arrive, with a collection of Mydei's favourite things no less, he answers the door with still damp, fresh smelling hair.

"Hey Mydei. Ready for another hang out session? I brought your favourites." You give him a soft grin and hold up your bag.

He lets you in, guiding you along with a warm hand on your back. "Well I was going to turn you away and spend the evening to myself, but how could I now?"

Walking inside you can't help but keep glancing at him. He seemed more at ease these days, and he was joking around more which made you infinitely happy.

Padding over to the table, you and Mydei spread your food out and plop on the sofa. "A nice spread you've made Mydei, all my favourites.

"You got my favourites too..." I muses with a smirk. "It's the perfect spread."

I reply with a smile "we've gotten good at this."

He pulls the table closer, flexing his muscles as he does. "good indeed."

For the next 2 hours both of you chat and eat, sharing the stories in your scrolls and debating the merit or demerit of fictional protagonists that would end the world for their special one.

Once the sun has set the two of you are physically as close as you can be without sitting on each other's laps. His head lowers toward yours, his lips parting to ask the question. Once you realise how close he is your heart seizes and you jump back, breath quick and almost panicked.

"I... I..." you stutter, trying to come to grips with why you were so panicked.

"It's okay... you... it was my misunderstanding." Mydei's voice was uncharacteristically soft and almost pained. He bows apologetic. "Don't worry, I-" He tries to placate you, knowing what you'll do next.

"I- I have to go." Rising up you practically dashed off, a sick feeling in your stomach and the feeling like you've ruined the best relationship you have.

You don't see Mydei reaching for you, his shoulders slumped, that same sickly feeling in his own stomach for the same reason.

----------------------------

The truth is often...

As a verifiable master at avoiding life's problems, you avoid Mydei like the plague for weeks. All it did was make you miserable, wallowing in the supposed ruining of your friendship with Mydei.

To break you from your reverie, a series of sharp knocks sound making you whip your head round to the front door. A sinking feeling in your stomach you take a breath and pad over to the door, cautiously opening it.

Your stomach sinks as you see Phainon standing there. The little hope that Mydei was here dying. Then shock sets in at Phainon's appearance. "Hey, can we talk?"

Blinking the shock and dissapointment away you nod and let him in. "Sure, come in."

The two of you sit awkwardly on the sofa for a few minutes before he speaks up. "So... you and Mydei are my best friends. So... when I hear the you have been avoiding him, it hurts."

You heart sinks as he pauses, taking one of your hands in his. "Please... tell me what's going on in your silly head."

Looking down, the silence stretches as he gives you time to answer.

"I... i messed up." Beginning in a slightly strained voice, you talk through it, not being able to keep the truth from Phainon.

"He got close and I freaked out... i was scared and I pushed him away."

"Why did you push him away?" Phainon voiced softly, squeezing your hand like he did when you were children and needed comfort.

Shaking your head you think through it and speak haltingly. "I... i don't want to ruin our friendship. What if... what if a romance doesn't work and it ruins everything."

"... Is that why... is that why you didn't confess to me?" Your heart drops at Phainon's words.

"You... you knew...?" With your shaky voice and palms, he tries to soothe you. "You... how long?"

"I realised after I'd already fallen for Stelle. To me you were always my best friend. I didn't understand why you didn't tell me." He holds your hand, strong and steady, not looking into your eyes to keep you as comfortable as he can. "I didn’t want to force it though. I didn’t want to lose you either."

After you don't respond he tugs at your hands and forces you to look into his eyes. "Don't do this to yourself again... both you and Mydei deserve better."

Tears immediately spring to my eyes, "I don't know what to do. I loved you for so long that when I finally got over you and saw you as the best friend you always were... I immediately fell for Mydei." As you sniffle softly, Phainon wipes the little tears that escape from your moistenend eyes with a sad smile. "I don't... I don't want to hurt him. What if I'm not enough for him?"

He brings you in and hugs you tight. "He came to me you know, it was a bit surreal to realise both of my best friends were in love with me and bonded over it. Then they fell in love themselves. I'm like the real life Eros." He chuckles, squeezing you gently. "But when he said he messed things up with you he was... more upset than I've seen him in a long while. He really cares for you."

His words make your heart ache with longing. In a way you wished it was Mydei holding you instead.

"Please... I wanna go to your wedding one day." You can hear the almost obnoxious pout in his voice. It was so unexpected to hear that again after so long that you just start to giggle. The giggle growing into a full-blown emotional laughter. Everything about the last few months catching up and overwhelming you.

He laughs right with you, rocking you gently as you two laugh away.

----------------

No longer bitter

After he leaves you contemplate, typing out a whole paragraph before hovering your thumb over the send button before deleting the whole thing and sending a quick, and definitely not concerning, message to Mydei. 'Come over. We need to talk.'

You swear not even 10 minutes passed before you get jumped by a pounding at the door. You almost run over, briskly trying not to trip over your own feet to open the door. When you do, Mydei is standing there panting, arms against the doorframe.

"Let me in... please." You could almost sense the double meaning in his words. Stepping aside you let him in.

"Please come in." Silently walking to the living room, it was awkward but there was the air was thick with tension. As you take your places on the sofa you often shared Mydei immediately cuts to the chase.

"I'm sorry for startling you. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable I just felt the need to... uh..." He turns his head, a soft pink blush on his face unlike anything you've seen before.

Only a moment of hesitation later you respond. "Mydei... you didn't make me uncomfortable i was just... scared." Seeing his startled face, the only hint a slight widening of his eyes and a deeper downturn to his lips. "Wait, wait! Not scared because of you. It's... I was scared of ruining our friendship with my feelings." While you hurry to explain you grab his hands, his eyes dart to them and stare at the small bit of connection between you.

It takes his mind a moment to catch up. "Me too. I was scared. Of hurting you, of pushing unspoken boundaries. But, what I am here for is to ask is for you to, if you'll have me, accept me as your lover. I want to keep doing everything we have with you but, I'd also like to share a home and a bed. I want to hold you and... I don't know. I don't know what this romance entails. Romance-"

"Does not exist in the Kremnoan language i know." Lifting your eyes to meet his, they were teary again. "Mydei... i can't lie-" you see him take a deep breath, as if bracing himself for a blow. "- I am still scared. But, with you, I'm willing to try. I want... to be with you in all of those ways and more."

In leu of a verbal response, you see his eyes widen, his lips parting in shock, he pulls you into his lap and holds you close, strong and unyielding but gentle. You feel him inhail a deep breath agaisnt your neck, making you shiver.

"I will be good to you." He eventually mumbles, and an over whelming need to do something comes over you.

"Mydei, let me go a bit." You whisper, trying to get as look at his face. His arms tighten a little before pulling back to look at you.

"What is it?" He asks lowly, looking as though he's holding back. His eyes flicking to your lips. This time you don't feel nervous.

"Kiss me."

"Are you sure?" He whispers, hands moving to hold your face with his large, warm hands tenderly.

"I'm sure Mydei. Please, kiss me."

He smiles and leans down slowly, giving you more time to decide you don't want it. When you don't move or flinch he finally, slowly, gently, presses his lips to yours. The rest of the world melts away.

"You've changed again." You say with no small amount of amusement. You and Dan Heng had retired to your room after the post Irontomb-battle-that-nearly-wiped-out-the-known-universe party, you and Dan Heng were reuniting after the long journey that was Amphoreus. So busy and fraught with danger you'd barely had time to appreciate his new form. You were certainly appreciating it now.

"I have." There's less hesitation in his voice, more confidence. He even gives you a small smile, appreciating how your eyes linger on the changes he's undergone. "What do you think?"

"You look beautiful." Your whole being seemed to glow with love as you said it. Then he followed, face glowing a soft pink as your simple words washed over him.

"Is that so?" His voice was slightly strained by the sheer weight your emotions carried into him. 

"It is... you always were, in any form. But now you look... whole. Like you've found yourself. You're not part Dan Feng, you're just Dan Heng. I couldn't be more proud or find you more beautiful than I do now."

He closes his eyes and looks down, for a moment you wonder if you've said something wrong. However, instead of upset when he opens his eyes it's love, and a deeper affection you'd ever seen from him. 

He steps forward, wordlessly at first, before cupping your cheeks in his hands and leaning in with an almost sultry whisper. "May I kiss you?"

Stunned by his forwardness for a moment you nearly forget to respond. He starts to pull away, assuming a no, only halted by a quick, near breathless, "you may, please do in fact" from you.

He surges forward immediately, meeting your lips with his in a soft but passionate kiss. He holds your face close with his hands, your body close with his tail. It was constricting but comfortable. Tougher and less malleable than his less corporeal tail, but still comfortable, if not more so.

He slides his lips against yours, ever gentle even when he feels needy for you. You can't help but return in kind. 

It almost felt mean, he was bigger, more muscular, stronger. You had to relearn him but he still knew all of your weaknesses. The way your legs shake when his tail brushes your thighs, the way you pant, tongue practically vibrating with the want to entangle it with his. 

He pulls you onto the bed laying you down on top of him, and part of him is scared to crush you beneath his bigger form if he were to be above you. Seems he still has something to learn about himself.

You pull away from his kiss reluctantly and pant, looking down at him with shiny eyes filled with want and desire.

"Dan Heng... this new body of yours, may I explore it...?" 

"Ah... yes... you may." He hesitates a little bit, seemingly a little nervous.

"Don't be nervous, love you in all your forms, remember." You say gently, hands roaming his new, broader chest over his clothes.

"It's just... new isn't it." He looks down, smiling wryly at you, eyes flicking to your hands on his chest. 

At his glance you squeeze his pecs teasingly.

He sighs but smiles "you really... do like it huh?"

"You don't even have to ask me that, love. You're gorgeous as I've said." You squeeze his pecs again, trailing your hands down his torso. "You're more defined now, it matches your new sureness... the certainty you have about you." 

He just lets you, letting your hands roam his body, holding back from doing the same to you. "You flatter me too much. I'm not that different."

You just raise an eyebrow at him, "you are. You've... settled. It's like you finally accept yourself, acknowledging your history instead of running from it." I shift up and kiss him softly. "You're even more beautiful than ever, because you seem more happy with yourself." 

"That you notice all of this about me... it makes me happy. You're too good to me." He murmurs, he leans up and captures your lips once more before settling down on the bed. "Feel free to take your time and explore. I want you to be comfortable with my body before we... do anything else.."

"It'd be my pleasure, love." With that you slip your hands under his shirt and pull it up, taking in the sight of him beneath you. The little patches of scales on his sides and one by his heart, they now shimmered a pale gold rather than the translucent blue that they used to be. Brushing your hand with the direction of the scales over his heart, they were more solid like smooth stone, and instead of giving a cool wet feeling when touching them it was just solid and dry.  

You kiss each scale, smiling at the slight hitches of breath you could hear from an otherwise quiet Dan Heng. "So beautiful..." you whisper to yourself as you make your way down his body.

Kissing your way down his stomach, when you make it to the little tuft of black hair peaking over his trousers you pause, looking up at him. "Can I take these off?" He could see the clear excitement in your eyes, it made his stomach flip with affection.

"You may." Immediately you slip his trousers down, leaving his boxers for now. The patches of scales on his hips, the new thickness of his thighs, both were engraving to you. Your hands wondering, not oblivious to his more laboured breathing.

"Is your new body more sensitive?" You coo teasingly, smirking up at his flustered face.

"No..." he denies it, but with new body parts comes more sensitivity. 

Kissing each of the scales on his hips while fully pulling off his trousers. You feel him tense and relax, like his body didn't know what to do with these sensations.

You ignore what rests between his legs for now, not wanting to trigger that so soon. 

"Can you turn over please? I want to see your tail." You flutter your eyelashes for good measure, causing him to cough into his hand to hide a choke.

"You don't need to... never mind." He was so weak to you. He flips himself over, holding a pillow to his chest to keep himself grounded. 

His new tail wags above him, the tip almost vibrating. 

You reach out to grasp the tip gently, pulling it down to admire the new shape of it. "So pretty..." you muse, then almost unable to keep a hold of the tail as it trashes excitedly. You have to wait for it to calm down, you could tell by the shuddering of his shoulders that Dan Heng was being affected by your touches.

As he'd instructed you before you brush your hands along his tail with the direction of the scales. "It's so different... still lovely. It's... more solid, muscular, thicker. It feels... smooth like rock instead of silky like water. It's warmer too..." You muse, the tip of the tail vibrating more intensely with every word.

"You really notice all that?" Dan Heng's voice comes out slightly strained as he looks over his shoulder at you with his tail in your hands. 

"Yea... I always take notice of you." You say, still stroking his tail from base to tip. 

He groans and buries his face in the pillows again. "You... you're too much..." he mutters muffled into the pillow, no heat or actual annoyance in his tone. 

You decide to leave his tail alone and instead straddle his hips and run your hands over the muscular expanse of his back, his broader frame was new and enticing, so much more space to explore. "Yummy." You comment cheekily, knowing it would fluster him more.

"Yummy? What does that- ah!!?" He gets cut off with shock as you sink your teeth into his right shoulder.

You chuckle in his ear as you pull away and whisper to him.  "Yep, definitely yummy." 

The world spins then and in an instant you're looking up at a very flustered and slightly mad Dan Heng, now pinning you to the bed. 

"You are... dangerous to my senses." His voice was lower, a hint of need breaking through even if he was trying to hold back.

After the shock fades, you can only grin sheepishly up at him. "Well, what can I say? I have a very beautifully tempting boyfriend, I can't help it." 

His snake-like tongue darts from his mouth, eyes narrowing dangerously. "And I have a very infuriatingly tempting partner... and I seemingly need to remind them about which buttons not to press if they don't want to spend all night awake."

"Is that a challenge?"

"It is, if I may?" He still asks, preparing to force himself away from you if you decide you don't want this.

Warmth, serenity, the soft rise and fall of the broad chest breath you. You feel calm for once, like this you feel all of your worries melt away.

His gruff vice mumbles words above you, breaking you from your reverie.

"Are you done yet?" His voice was soft, almost amused at your insistent touches.

You don't stop, your fingers lightly, almost teasingly, trace his tattoos, the red markings stark against the lightly tanned skin, patched with fairer skin where his clothes typically rest on his body 

"Hmm, no. I'm happy to continue, thank you." You hum softly, not wanting to take your mind off of his beauty for even a second. The dips and grooves of his muscles, the way his tattoos arc and drag stories along his body soothing you in ways nothing else could.

He's here. He's real. He's alive. He's breathing. He's still mine.

"Hmm..." He grumbled a bit and closed his eyes, not outright admitting that he's relaxed by your touches too. 

Eventually he peeks, one eye opening to watch your face, scanning the myriad of emotions flitting across.

"Something wrong Μι Ήλιε?" He grumbles, the words vibrating his chest beneath you. The name he gave you, causing your heart to flutter.

"No, no... I've just... missed you." The words come out whispered and hesitant, like you didn't really want to say them. You're well aware of his duty, his fate, but it didn't stop you from being anxious whenever you didn't see him for extended periods.

"Hmm." He grumbles again, "I missed you too." I say, honesty is ever present in his words. "I will always fight to get back to you."

Your breath stutters in your chest, eyes misting, hands instinctively clawing his chest as if to hold him there. "I know... I know. I will always be here when you get home."

He doesn't flinch at your hand clawing into his chest, instead smiling down at you before pulling you more on top of him. "Mydei!?"

You feel the chuckle before you hear it, warming your body inside out. "Μι Ήλιε... focus on me. Here and now. Me and you." Ever blunt and straight to the point, his words serve to calm you the way no flowery phrases ever did.

"You..." you huff and laugh, almost trying to catch your breath at the sheer strength of the love you felt in that moment. "Okay... I'm focusing on you, here and now, with me. You're mine, and I'm yours." 

"That's right. You're mine. I'm yours." He repeats, wanting to continue to reassure you. He pulls your head to rest in the crook of his neck, which you quickly rectify by crawling down to his chest, your preferred resting place. You feel his chest shift with stifled laughter. He enjoyed how much you enjoyed his chest. "Comfy Μι Ήλιε?" He grumbles amused.

"Very, you're the perfect pillow." I say, nuzzling your face into his impressive pecs. 

"Good. Just breathe and relax. We're together now." He brings his hand to the back of your neck and slides it up to pet your head softly. He was always ever so gentle with you. 

"Hmm" you hum, your hand moving to trace his tattoos, the way you always felt the need to when you lay in his arms, it served as your bedtime routine and helped you relax. 

He sighs, body growing softer as your touches relax him as well. "Your hands feel softer..." he muses.

"Aglaea gave me a new moisturiser to try. Smells like pomegranate... and Kremnoan spices." You reply, face heating a little. She'd given it to you while you were moping about Mydei not being here as a way to hopefully cheer you up because it smelt a little like him. You pout as you feel him chuckle again.

"Is that so..?" he brings one of your hands up, giving it a small sniff before pressing a kiss to the back. "Smells nice. I'll have to steal it from you sometimes." 

"For shame, a mighty prince stealing from his poor defenseless lover." You gasp dramatically, pouting at him.

His response is just to roll his eyes. "I'll just ask Aglaea for some. Then we can smell the same."

Wordlessly you reach over into the bedside table where the moisturiser is. "far too cute for a muscle head." You mutter, grabbing his hands and rubbing some of it in, for too gently for his rough hands, in his opinion.

He just smiles, small but clearly amused and in love. He watches the furrowed brows as you concentrate on all but massaging the moisturiser into his calloused hands. You straddle his lap, the weight comforting to him, holding both his hands in yours, the subtle scent of pomegranate and Kremnoan spices fill the air between you. 

Eventually he gets tired of your body not being pressed fully against him and he pulls you down and hugs you tight to his chest. "Μι Αγάπη, Μι Ήλιε, Εσύ, αγάπη μου, ίσαι υπέροχη. είσαι τα πάντα για μένα." His voice was low, and grumbly, whispered into your ear. 

"I love you too, so so much Mydei." You whisper back, relaxing against his chest and pressing a kiss to his heart.

"Hello my beloved." Your darling lover says, equal parts loving and sheepish.

You chuckle softly and lean over where he lays. Lounging under a tree in the wheat fields. "Of course I'd find you snoozing down here. You lazy bum." Your words are spoken with the utmost love and affection of course. 

He just chuckles and reaches towards you with grabby hands. "Come and be a lazy bum with me. We deserve it."

Unable to deny him anything, you lay down with him, immediately pulled into his arms and snuggled tightly. The ground is soft and warm, your bodies cradled by the wheat and shaded from the heat of the sun by the shade of the massive tree behind you. You feel Phainon nuzzle your neck and take a deep breath, taking in your scent. His love for every part of you made your heart flutter.

"Stay." He grumbles, clearly not having any intent to let you go anytime soon. Even going so far as to put one of your hands in his hair, loving the feeling of you stroking it.

A fond huff leaves you as you comply and stroke through his hair, loving the relaxing feelings. "I could get used to this lazy bum business."

"See, I knew you'd come around." He mutters, smirking into the skin of your neck. 

You huff again. "You're comfy, of course I would." You scratch at his scalp lightly, knowing how much he enjoys it. He nuzzles your neck again, enjoying your touches.

"You're comfy too my beloved. I can't wait to lay in your arms for the rest of our lives." He murmurs, voice low with an amount of emotion almost disproportionate to his words. There was a lot in those simple words. The weight of 33,550,335 cycles he'd not quite shed, as much as he tried to act like or was behind him. Khaslana's wings still lay heavy on his back, even when they weren't there.

"What if I want to lay on you for a change, 'nonnie?" You joke lightly, wanting to lighten the burden of his feelings for as long as you can.

He huffs then, tightening his grip on you at the mere idea that you'd make him move. He would move if you asked him, he'd do anything but that didn't mean he'd want to. "That's a tough ask, beloved. It might take me a few days to decide to move."

"Haha, a few days? We'll turn into wheat stalks at that rate." You tease, poking the top of his head smiling at the feeling of his chest vibrating with quiet laughs.

"Cute and pretty wheat stalks with the best taste." He mumbles, proud of his own little joke.

"You're mum's cooking for us today, we'll miss it." You feel him pout so you continue. "I believe she said she was making some of her special sweet apple pie." He grumbles dramatically before laughing.

"Yea yea, okay... we'll get up. Not yet though, it's not time." He holds you tighter, making sure you don't try and get up yet.

"Okay okay. I'll keep an eye on the sky for you. Just rest, love." More than anything, rest is what you thought he deserved and rest is just what you'd give him, with a healthy dose of love too.

"Thirty three million. Five hundred and fifty thousand. Three hundred and thirty seven. All that and only now can we be like this and it mean something. I get to hold the real you in my arms, and you get the real me too."

You let him muse, let him mumble against the soft skin of your neck, you just stroke his hair softly, wanting nothing but to take the weight from him.

"Now... the flame reaver, Khaslana... and I can all rest in your arms together, unburdened. I couldn't love you any more than I do now, though I'll certainly try." He chuckles wryly, shaking his head softly against your neck.

"I love you, I really, really love you. More than I ever thought I'd be able to let myself." He continues, suddenly raising his head and meeting your eyes for one short moment, unshed tears lining his. He leans in and presses a soft but passionate kiss against your lips with a soft noise, like a man starved finally tasting food for the first time. 

You kiss back, deepening the kiss much to his delight, you feel his hands tighten on your hips. You wind both hands him his hair and scratch at his scalp, causing him to groan onto the kiss and press his body harder to yours.

He forces himself to stop before he gets too carried away, pulling away and looking down at you with shining eyes, satisfied but also still needy. "I love you." He repeats breathlessly.

"I love you too 'nonnie." You say sweetly, caressing his face. He grins then flops back on your chest, nuzzling you again.

"Need a nap before I want more from you." He mumbles with a sheepish grin.

"Haha, no problem 'nonnie. Rest, we can... continue later." 

"Good. I'm looking forward to it." He nuzzles again and takes a deep breath, sighing deeply as he is lulled into a relaxing state.

1 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

The clashing of swords, heavy grunts and cheeky laughter could be heard in the Chrisos heirs' training grounds. Two fighters duke it out with playful ferocity 

"Come on 'nonnie, surely you can do better?" 

"Oh, precious I certainly can." A handsome grin and then, as if he were holding back before he closes the distance in a flash, tossing his sword aside to pick you up over his shoulder like a ragdoll. You squirm in protest, not really wanting him to let you go. He pats your butt with a devilish laugh making you squirm more.

"Oi! 'Nonnie... horrible, horrible man, how anyone thinks you're a hero is beyond me." You begin your dramatic speech you always make when he does this.

"Oh don't be silly, Precious." He dismisses your dramatic speech with another butt pat. At which, of course, you scoff dramatically before flopping like dead weight to try and get him to put you down. 

He responds with a fond tut and shifts you to be carried bridal style. "Is this better Precious?" He coos playfully.

"Ugh-" you can only groan as he gleefully carries you through town to the baths.

"You love it, Precious~" he leans down and purrs the word precious into your ear before kissing you quickly, but no less full of passion. "And I love you."

You feel your body heat increase at his actions, all that leaves you is a flustered groan and a longing to get him alone.

89,395 -------------------------------------------------------------

He holds himself above you, exhausted but not willing to look away. He finds this sight beautiful. You on your back, flushed, sweating, panting, coming down from that beautiful high he gave you. 

"Precious..." he murmurs, balancing on one arm to stroke the sweat and sticky hair from your face. 

"I love you, my Precious."

⬜️,⬜️⬜️⬜️ --------------------------------------------------------

"You aren't Phainon are you?" 

He got too close again, unable to resist your draw, jealous of the program that got to be close to you. 

He looks, stares into your eyes. You'd know as soon as he opened his mouth. His Precious was always too clever, and knew him too well. There was no point in hiding it, not from you.

"No, you can call me ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️" His voice like static to your ears, yet you understood.

"⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️? But you look like-" your confused voice was like a dagger to his chest, the suspicious look in your eyes the salt in the wound.

"I know, but I am / not him." It distorted the air around his words, as though he wasn't fully sure who was who at this point.

"You look like him, you even sound like him. Just... broken."

His eyes narrow with confusion "broken?" He chuckles humourlessly "maybe I am broken."

It wasn't supposed to be by his hand, it wasn't, not this time and yet as he steps closer, his blade raised to point at your heart. The way you back away from him breaks him all over again. 

He grabs you before you run, unable to stop himself from leaning forward and planting a kiss on your head.

"This is one of many reasons why I am." He rasps, years filling his eyes as he raises his blade. You eyes widen in panic trying to squirm away, you call for Phainon.

"He loves you, I love you too. In every life."

He kisses you again as the Blade sinks into you, the scream that could be heard was not yours, ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ smiles against your bloody lips as he hears a sword swing at his neck.

 ⬜️⬜️,⬜️⬜️⬜️,⬜️⬜️⬜️ ------------------------------------------

"Precious!-" you hear him screaming but it was muffled, heavy. You hear hurried footsteps and yells, nothing like the sweet man you've known but you knew it was him. 

It stops and you feel yourself being picked up, scorching drops fall onto your skin before evaporating. 

"P-precious... no, no, why, why you, why now... WHY?!." He's screaming again, it sounds so painful, so awful to hear him like this.

"Phainon-" you manage to groan, "'nonnie..." your breaths were heavy, each one making the wound in your lung worse, blood bubbling over your lips, you couldn't even taste it through the shock.

It was a fight to open your eyes again just to see his beautiful blues one last time, and rasp your last words "love... you.."

You gasp for air before it leaves your lungs in a death rattle that shakes Phainon to his core. 

You don't hear his scream, don't feel the way he presses one final kiss to your lips. Don't feel the way he carries your body and puts you in your bed, pressing a kiss to your forehead, as if lulling you to sleep.

You don't feel him leave you and don't feel the end of the world and the beginning of Era ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 

33,550,⬜️⬜️⬜️ ----------------------------------------------------

"Phainon, there you are. Of course I'd find you snoozing down here." 

He cracks one eye open to see you standing over him, hands on hips scoldingly. You miss the surprise in his gaze that you've found him.

"Prec-" he coughs, making you chuckle "hello friend, so you have found me. And here I was hoping to snooze for longer."

You were younger than he remembered and you weren't supposed to be here, something wasn't quite right, he had to be careful with his words. 

"We'll if I'm not allowed to slack off neither are you mister." 

He forces a chuckle, too busy wracking his brain to be genuine with you. You don't notice thankfully, not close enough in this life to notice the difference yet.

"Alright, alright friend, I'm coming. Wouldn't want you snitching to mum." He gets up and takes your arm needing to correct things. He leads you to his house, you must be seeing him as the young boy he would be, "here go say hi to mum and distract her while I go see the crops so I don't get in trouble."

By the time you see him again he's panting and sweating "Phainon, you're back. You wouldn't have to work so hard if you didn't spend your time napping in the fields."

"Huh? How'd you know that?" He says completely innocent, not having seen you at all that day.

"What? Phainon stop being silly." You pout, thinking he's messing with you since you definitely saw him earlier.

"Huh?" He repeats clueless, but finding your stern expression endearing.

Meanwhile ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ watches. Face blank but a warmth in his chest, homey and soft like a hearthfire. Much more pleasant than the coreflames burning in his chest. 

You weren't supposed to be here, but he wanted at least one cycle to have you two meeting as children, spending more time together.

Seeing you like this, young and carefree just makes ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ think of the you he met in the first cycle and all subsequent lives. He appreciates your older self more and reminds him that he was human, that he loved. That he loves you and it breaks his heart every time he ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️.

27,991,238 --------------------------------------------------------

He cries, the tears thick and black, hidden by the mask. "One strike and it's over."

"Precious, precious, love." The sword tears through you leaving a gaping wound. 

He growls when the name Phainon drips with the blood from your lips. 

"I love you." ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ utters before sending himself to die before the hands of himself and do it all over again.

0 ------------------------------------------------------------------

"Somehow, I knew I'd find you snoozing down here." Phainon stands with a carefree grin, looking down at you with his hands on his hips, one dramatically cocked. 

"Phainon?" You groan, turning over and sitting up. "What's going on?"

"What's going on? Come on precious, surely you haven't forgotten." He chuckles, sitting next to you and sliding an arm over your shoulders. "The celebration. Your dashing hero, and the other Chrisos Heirs, will be on a parade around the city after our victory over the Black Tide."

He feels you breathe in deep, processing before practically jumping out of bed. "Oh my, oh no, I can't believe I forgot that was today." You dash around getting your outfit and make up ready. 

He just watches, finding your enthusiasm and mild panic cute. It was clear you cared about making it and being there for him.

"Hey precious,"

You halt and walk over "Yes, Phainon?"

The finals of the 57th annual Okhema baking competition was about to hit it off.

On the opposite table wearing the red apron stood proud the former Prince of Castrum Kremnos. A powerful and stoic Chrisos Heir.

Then there was you, a strange presence in Okhema, a refugees from a far off unknown place, as you yourself could not remember, with a penchant for using weird ingredients in your baking.

As your gaze trained on Mydeimos's figure, his was solely on the judges, a definitely not unfair line up of fellow Chrisos Heirs. As such you didn't have your hopes up, an unconscious sigh leaving you as you feel a 2nd place consolidation prize coming your way. 

Phainon, the deliverer was on authenticity and presentation judging. 

Aglaia, the weaver was on taste testing judgment.

And finally mistress Tribios was on creativity judgement.

You sigh again, seeing his lips moving but definitely just drowning out the words and not admiring his confidence and physique visible through the apron, not realising how all your staring and sighing was looking to the outsiders.

"Have you had enough of staring? You won't learn my secrets with leering eyes or trying to listen to a vague explanation of my bake." 

It takes a second before you process the fact that Mydeimos spoke, and to you. The small rivalry you two had formed during this competition as the best two bakers in Okhema was the talk of the City. Compared to Mydeimos you had credibility in the form of your incredibly popular bakery. 

"I wasn't staring with leering eyes or trying to steal ideas. I was just... off in my own head thinking about my bake. It wasn't specifically aimed at you." You argue, already feeling riled up and defensive.

"Is that so? Well then, best get your head back into the competition. The judges are waiting." His voice was smug, irritating you more. You think to yourself about how much prettier he'd be if he shut up then promptly mentally smack yourself for even thinking he's pretty.

It's then you realise the judges have addressed you and you'd promptly ignored them by virtue of being too focused on your rival. You turn around, feeling embarrassment crawl in your back and see all 3 judges smirking, Tribbie and Phainon looking between you both.

"Once more- please explain your bakes to us today. Starting with our blue contestant..." 

You sheepishly explain your bake unaware that his eyes were now on you, a somewhat satisfied half smirk pulling up one corner of his lips.

‐---------------------------------------------

The competition concluded, two of you stood side by side waiting for the conclusions.

Your bake was Saraligi- sweet dough dipped in syrup and spiralled with cinnamon and clove butter, chopped and crushed pistachios laced throughout. A favorite in Okhema and an old favourite of your home town. The 

Mydies was Ekmek Kataifi, a popular pastry from Castrum Kremnos. Crisp and flaky with rich lemon cream inside which was mixed with a variety of nuts and a local berry jam as the twist, topped with honey and pistachios, dusting the tops with powdered sugar and lemon zest.

Both mouthwatering treats, traditional with a slight twist. 

We watched as the judges observed and tasted. Mydei looked as confident and proud as ever, back straight and arms crossed. The apron he wore was slightly stained with jam and powdered sugar. 

Yours wasn't fairing better, the amount of cinnamon and butter on your apron should be considered a sin. You didn't care though, you were too busy seething over Mydei refusing to try your pastry. You tried his, it was annoyingly delicious, and yet he couldn't even spare a single bite for yours.

The judges seemed to be having a hard time judging the two dishes. While they were chatting away, Phainon and Tribbie animatedly making their points, Mydei spoke up again. A low grumble making you jump.

"Saraligi huh? Not a bad choice."

"Huh?" You just turn, giving him a subtly confused look. "Was that a compliment? Why?"

"I am simply stating the truth. It's popular for a reason. Children and adults like it. Sweet, flavourful and sticky." He shrugs and you seem like you made it well. "It'd be bad if you didn't, since your business hinges on it." 

You can't help but narrow your eyes and raise an eyebrow. It sounded like a backhanded compliment but he seemed sincere.

"Well of course, if I couldn't make it I wouldn't have. Also 'seemed like?' You refused to try it. I tried yours and it was good, amazing even. Why refuse to eat mine?" You hurriedly say under bated breath, it'd been 

"Discipline." His bluntness makes you pause, just as you're about to question he continues. "I don't eat sweets, my body must be maintained to perfection."

"You can't even spare one bite?" You whisper incredulously. 

"No, and I don't even like sweets that much anymore." He subtly shakes his head.

"But you clearly make them enough to create them skillfully, but you don't eat them?"

Before he could respond the judges called us for the reveal of who won the baking competition, they were smirking conspiratorially again.

------------------------------

You sit on a bench in one of the parks in central Okhema clutching the trophy. The victory feels a little hollow for some reason. There were questions about that baking warrior from Castrum Kremnos that were still unanswered and burning a hole in your brain.

After a while spent kicking yourself for not trying to talk to him after the competition you get up and head home. Trying to ignore the questions you had.

-----------------------

The next day on your way to the town to buy your daily supplies you see him, picking up some flour and sugar. 

Before you can think, you hurry over "Mydeimos!" 

He turns to see who's calling his name, looking you up and down. "Ah, the bakery competition winner. Do you have some more business with me? Also, call me Mydei." 

It stung a little that he couldn't even use your name but there's more important things in mind. "Come to my shop. I want to talk." Is all you say before busying yourself ordering the goods you need to be delivered. Once that's done and he's still standing there, thinking. "Please Mydeim- Mydei. I have questions. And also a proposition."

"A proposition? Hmph, fine. Sounds interesting enough." 

-----------------------------

Once in the bakery I prepare the day's goods while chatting to Mydei.

"So, why don't you eat any of your baked goods- besides your Discipline?" 

"I give them away." He shrugs, your heart feels a little tight with admiration as you realise what he's doing.

"Give them away. Like charity for the refugees?..." you ask, although you know it's the case, a smile spreads on your face at the mental image of such an intimidating looking man giving away baked goods.

"Yes, the children and elderly enjoy them, and..." he pauses, lost in thought. He looks out the window, two refugee children from Castrum Kremnos run by, playing. "It's a way to give them a little taste of the home they never knew, or the home they long to return to. There is almost nothing left of the once proud Castrum Kremnos. So if at least one thing survives, let it be the food."

By the time he'd finished speaking you'd stopped working. Now you have pure unadulterated admiration for this man. It was easy to forget what the Kremnoans had been through given how proud they were, how much they hid their pain.

"That's... wonderful Mydei. That's an admirable thing to do." You find yourself smiling softly at him, seeing his gruff exterior in a whole new light. 

"No need to praise me. Now. Your proposition." He brushes it off easily, my praise like water off a Dromas back. You shake your head but allow it, nor like you can push him anyway.

"The proposal is, teach me to make the Kremnoan food you know and then I can sell it here. I want to get more Okhemans interested in your culture. When I tried your pastry it was amazing. I will also donate some to your cause, so we can feed more refugees." You feel his gaze burning you, staring you down as he assesses something only known to him. 

When you were seconds away from begging he speaks again. "You want to sell Kremnoan goods? And produce extras for the refugees?" He questions, musing the situation online his head before giving you a stern clap on the shoulder. You panic for a second thinking you might have offended him. But- "I like your idea. I will teach you how to make all of the popular pastries of Castrum Kremnos, and you will pass them on more than I could alone. We will keep their legacy alive."

"In this small way, we will keep their legacy alive."

-------------------------

Months have passed and Mydei may as well be an employee now, with how often he stops by to bake with you. You had to make another oven just to handle all the extra product he was making. 

He had been a harsh teacher, and expected perfection but it's what you needed to learn. 

Soon enough you had a new section to your menu for Kremnoan pastries and breads. It had been rocky at first due to the discrimination the Kremnoans faced by some Okhemans, but he told you that lady Aglaea had mentioned the discrimination actually falling lately, it wasn't a huge amount. But it was something.

The months of working together had made you both closer, he'd also been taking you sparring to 'make sure you can defend yourself if anything happens.'. He'd even smiled at you a couple of times, causing annoying flutter feelings in your heart and stomach, which you were pointedly ignoring.

-----------------------------------------

More weeks pass and he comes in later than usual, but he looks even more serious than usual. He carried a bag seemingly filled with something important as he was so delicate with it. He approaches with a slight air of nerves this time.

"Are you busy?" He begins, his voice softer than usual. Seeing as you just finished your prep for the day you had time to spare.

"I just finished prep, is everything okay?" You wash your hands and walk around your counter, standing in front of him with an air and expression of concern.

He waves a hand dismissively "yes, everything's fine... I just had a proposition for you." He says, a slight smirk as he knowingly mirroring your words after the competition.

"Oh? A proposition?... I'm all ears." Tilting your head curiously, you try to act casual but there are nerves bubbling up in your stomach.

I didn't speak right away, bringing up the bag and setting it down, bringing out a white box with a deep red bow.

"This is for you, I'd like to ask for you to take this and to give me the honour of being my romantic partner until death do us part." 

He takes the lid off the box revealing an ornate dagger, clearly of Kremnoan make.

"Mydei I... I don't know what to say this is..." the dagger was beautiful, a ritual dagger meant to be used to cut the hair of the wife on the Kremnoan wedding night. "...Beautiful..." looking into his eyes you could see the resolve, the sincerity, a twitch in his hand as he longed to hold you. You couldn't deny his feelings if you tried, or yours for that matter. 

"I accept Mydei, I will be yours." 

The soft smile on your face makes his heart turn in his chest, he holds out his hand for you and when you offer it he brings it to his lips and kisses softly, making repeated kisses up your arm until he stops close to your face. 

"I want to kiss you, can I?" His eyes unabashedly flicking down to your lips and back up to your eyes, his hand coming round to hold your waist.

A soft whisper and a genuine loving smile forms on your face as you lean in. 

The front door to the lavish apartment closes more forcefully than usual, the usually controlled footsteps heavier. Rising from your place on the sofa, clad only in robes you approach the hallway where he enters. 

When he spots you his gaze and demeanour softens slightly. He process to take his shoes of lightly, placing them in their proper place and placing his bag down in its proper place. 

"I ran you a bath Veri-" you begin, hoping to soothe whatever it was that was bothering him. 

He unexpectedly tuts loudly and walks closer with a blank look, his gaze shifting to yours before a tired, lopsided smirk plays on his lips. "Ah ah ah, no. You ran us a bath dear, join me?"  He outstretches his hand, waiting for your response but seemingly having already figured out the answer.

You let out an affectionate huff and entwine his hand with yours. "It'd be an honour Veri." 

He immediately leads you to the bathroom, the scent of his patented bathsoak fills the air, the rose petals, crystalline water and the rubber ducks he had made to look like the two of you bobbing gently. It was, in your opinion, the best atmosphere. 

He quickly stripes his clothes, any shyness or hesitation was never there for him and he has always appreciated your 'polite' ogling of his perfectly sculpted body. 

He steps close and fiddles with your robe at the shoulders. "May I?" He questions, his voice gentle and low. Your eyes meet his and you nod. "Of course Veri." Every sentence was short and simple, not needing any flowery words in this moment, knowing each other so well meant the mental connection was enough for them to know their true feelings.

At your words he wordlessly slipped the robe from your shoulders, revealing your nakedness to his clear delight. He takes you in for a moment before he sighs, one you know is not one of frustration but of calm and light longing. 

"Let's get in the bath Veri." He smiles at your words and gets in, standing with his hand outstretched to help you in.

"Come on dear, join me, I know you so love me to hold you." 

"Of course, you are surprisingly comfortable even with all that muscle." You quip and take his hand, in less than a second he has you in the bath and flipped to have your back against his chest. He sinks you both into the water, twin contented sighs come from you both and you bask in the warm water, calming scents, and comfortable bodies.

This was his favourite form of intimacy, sharing a bath with his favourite person, his love, his peace.

His arms slip around your waist and pull you back into his chest, dropping his head against your shoulder and just breathes for a moment, letting the events of the day wash over him.

When you instinctively shuffle back into him he squeezes you tighter, a wordless keep still. A minute passes and you know he's sufficiently calmed by the kiss he plants on your shoulder before leaning back in the bath and pulling you down with him.

"Good, this is good." He sighs, holding you tightly while you both lounge in the bath.

"Veri, want to talk about today?" Your voice rings soft, not wanting to break the relaxing atmosphere.

Veritas takes a deep sigh and shakes his head against your shoulder "no darling. It was nothing but minor issues. I wouldn't want to waste my breath on it."

"Okay Veri" you say with a soft chuckle. The two of you then lay together for a little while, just relaxing and listening to each other's gentle breathing. 

Veritas breaks the silence minutes later "Love? There is something I'd like to do." His hands twitch, longing for something to hold.

"Oh? What's that, Veri?" You ask, a sly tone in your voice, hands resting atop his own twitching ones.

"I want to feel you, my love." He whispers enticingly into your ear, making you shudder.

"Veri...? You mean you want to use me as a living stress ball?" You,tilt your head back with a cheeky look on your face. To which he responds with a cheeky nip to your shoulder.

"Exactly.." he all but purrs. "You understand my needs so well." Despite saying that he squeezes you but doesn't move his hands yet, needing to get express permission from you first.

"Well... fulfil those needs then." He grunts against your skin and his hands begin wandering. His touch stays gentle, the sounds of the water being moved by his arms as his touch wonders. Your hips, your stomach, your chest. He then reaches for your body wash and uses his hands to clean you. All you can and want to do is lay back and enjoy it.

And enjoy it, you do. His fingers wander, spreading the suds into the nooks and crannies, being careful with your sensitive areas, not wanting to tickle you.

"Hmm, your body feels so nice against mine darling." He whispers, his hands openly groping your chest. Though he was just touching you he knew how to make it feel like a massage, turning you boneless in his arms.

"And you have very nice hands, Veri." 

"Oh darling, we haven't even started yet." He coos softly, letting his hands slide down to massage your thighs. "Such a beautiful body, my darling."

All you can do is sigh in pure bliss as his hands roam, refamiliarising himself with your body after a long day until you begin to doze at just how relaxed he makes you feel.

"Okay darling... I think it's time to get out now..." you hum in sleepy confusion when you suddenly feel yourself being lifted.

"Veritas-" gasping his name as he lifts you out of the bath and onto the plush bath mat, immediately wrapping you in a towel. 

"You were beginning to doze darling. Let's get something to eat and get to bed." It was almost a command, but one filled with caring and appreciation for you, who does everything in your power to make his life easier. He wants to do the same in return.

You both just stop and stare, dripping with water and holding so much affection in your eyes, before you can do anything else he takes your face into his hand and plants a brief but tender kiss on your lips.

"I love you" he simply proclaims.

"I love you too Veri" you simply proclaim in return.

Subtle warmth, soft snores, light tickling from hair and arms draped loosely over your waist. It isn't overly often that you get to wake up like this.

Your lover typically wakes before you and, if the night was intense, he'd be making you breakfast rather than cuddling you, wanting to make sure you were well taken care of. Your lover also wasn't a huge fan of too much physical touch outside of more intimate moments. However, there were times where it was almost as if he were making up for lost time in that department.

In his 'sleep', though you're pretty sure he is actually awake, as he runs his hands over your stomach and chest, playing with the skin softly.

"Aventurine.." silence.

"Aviiii... Turin..." more silence.

"Hmm, oh well, if he's asleep I'm sure he won't miss me." You felt his hand twitch against your side, almost tickling you. Other than that, silence.

You let out a loud dramatic sigh. "I guess I'll hang out with Veritas then. He'd be more entertaining company than a sleeping lump anyway."

Suddenly the arms wrapped around your waist as tightly as they could and Aventurine pushed his face into your neck and grumbled. "No, stay."

"Ah. Avi you're awake."

"I am now. You are so cruel you know. Your loving boyfriend is here cuddling you and you think hanging out with the universe's stiffest man, would be more fun." You felt him pout against your neck and you could almost feel his urge to nibble being held back by a thread.

"So you heard all that, did you? Hmm? I thought you'd only just woken up?"

This time he does nibble your neck causing you to giggle at the ticklishness of the almost featherlight bites.

"Hmph" He begins dramatically. "So rude, questioning the love of your life. Maybe I should hang out with Ratio today rather than you." He continues to nibble your neck slightly harder this time.

"Ka-kakavasha- Hey- Stop that." You say in-between giggles and stolen breaths. He stops due to his weakness being exploited.

He sighs pleasantly and squeezes you, and after one final bite he removes his teeth from your neck and grins against it. Like he got what he wanted after all.

"That's much better dear." He whispers into your skin. "Much much better."

You twist in his grasp until you're facing him. He pouts initially but his face brightens again when he sees your smiling face.

"Kakavasha,-" The look on his face whenever you called him by his birth name could start and end wars in your eyes. The subtle blush, the shy smile, the tinge of pink on his cheeks. Gorgeous. "-you cheeky man. You were planning this weren't you."

"I'd never deceive you."

All you can do is raise an eyebrow in response to that statement.

"Alright, I'd never deceive you in a way that hurts you. That better?"

"A little." You say before lightly pinching his nose with a playful pout.

He laughs and squeezes you closer, burying your head in his neck this time. You know that this means he can't handle looking at your face without his heart imploding with love. He'd told you as much when sleep deprived and slightly drunk after a work do. You'd never tell, you value the information too highly.

Silence falls again while you both comfortably indulge in each other's softness and warmth. "You know...?" You begin, feeling the urge to be cheeky swell in your chest.

"Know what?" He asks with a tilt of his head questioningly.

"I want to bite you." You bluntly state, an entirely too serious expression on your face.

His response was flat and unsurprised but you could see a glimmer of playfulness not so hidden within. "Ah."

"Yea" You respond just as bluntly and with faux seriousness, trying to conceal your laughter..

He hesitates, drawing out his consideration, keeping on the edge of anticipation. The corner of his mouth tilts up before he responds slowly. "Once.."

You raise your eyebrow questioningly, trying to conceal your excitement "Oh?" You ask simply, wanting to make sure for certain he wanted you to go ahead with your desire to bite.

"Once, and I'll let you do it hard." He agrees, putting one finger up clearly emphasising the 'once'.

An excited look that gains a chuckle from him lights up your face. "Oh! Really?" You exclaim, pleasantly surprised.

"Really." He affirms, tilting his head and moving his hair, looking entirely like a pretty boy at the mercy of a vampire.

You let out a light giggle, move your face over his shoulder, your entire body braced on his chest as he lays back in the bed. You open your mouth, feeling him shiver under you as your warm breath tickles his neck, and then... Chomp.

"Ah!" He tosses his head back and lets out a loud and clearly exaggerated moan that devolves into laughter at your offended and flustered expression.

You pull away feeling pouty and flustered "Hey! Don't ruin my fun.." You all but whine playfully.

Both of you descended into loud peals of laughter, clutching each other and holding tight.

"Seriously pretty, you've got to have known I was going to do that."

"Well- I- you..." You sigh, glaring at him without any actual anger or upset. "In hindsight yea..." You concede scrunching your face in defeat.

He chuckles again, the sound softening you against your will. "Come on pretty, after all that fun I'd say we deserve some breakfast." He reaches to pull your hair gently from your shoulders, deliberately brushing his fingertips against your skin, grinning at the shiver you let out.

Though you knew by the way he pulled away that he was done with touch for now. He'd had his fill and couldn't take any more. You smile at him though, not an ounce of insecurity crossing your mind, this is just how he was and you knew enough about him to know why.

When he needed or wanted affection he'd let you know, and was always so attentive to your needs and wants and would never push his desires on you. It had taken a lot of effort alot of opening up and being honest and a lot of arguments to get to this effortless state of understanding between you two. But it was so worth it.

Things were looking up for the both of you.

And maybe, a life like this was worth living.