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mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon

that's MS. substance abuser to you

sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head

May I please have 1 everything

Noah's Ark if every animal reproduced asexually

Interesting I like it

THE PROPHECY

three person poly relationship made up of two people who are already dating trying to coax someone with horrific self worth issues into a loving relationship. stray cat style

they’re all laying together in bed and the couple are both thinking to themselves like good, he stayed the night to cuddle and talk when we offered, he should know that we genuinely care for him and want this to be more then a handful of one night stands. and the stray cat guy is like wow this sure is nice i think i’m falling in love with them. it’s really too bad that they don’t actually give a fuck and hate me and probably want to kill me with hammers for no reason

the most sexual emotion a man can feel is fear

Now why would Tumblr user twinktorturer say something like this

orcs would love going to costco

It exists and it's called Portland, Oregon

Ohhhh I see, so when YOU rearrange someone's guts its "Hot" and "Sexy", but when I do it, it's "medical malpractice" and "the act of a deeply disturbed individual"

31 hours deep into the insomniac’s gambit and i tried to microwave a popsicle

31 hours deep into the insomniac’s gambit and i posted on the wrong blog again

Love going to bed with a new, good daydream scenario fresh in my mind. Like yes girl, movie night!

I would project my period cramps onto flowery but he would probably say some shit like “I would gladly take this burden for a princess in need” or something and that takes the fun out of it

Even that wouldn't even work because if he learned that he was having a transmasc's period cramps projected onto him, he'd say some shit like "I'd never leave a fellow prince in such horrible pain" while the voice clip "My King!" plays, & at that point I'd rather just deal with the cramps myself