Have a Sideblog No One Asked For

i think crowley knew all along what was going to happen to aziraphale in heaven.

that’s why crowley’s so patient with aziraphale. that’s why crowley’s so protective of aziraphale.

that’s why crowley’s so willing to pine from afar and to be aziraphale’s friend even though aziraphale won’t admit it. that’s why he’s so willing to do the song and dance of careful phrasing and rephrasing his requests until he hits on the one aziraphale can agree to. that’s why he’s there is 1793 and 1941 and 1800. oh, 1800 - textually, literally saving aziraphale from having to go back to heaven. that’s why crowley’s always circling him, literally watching his back. 

crowley understands all of aziraphale’s reluctance and dodging because crowley knows what heaven’s like. he knows first-hand how arbitrary and capricious it can be, how vindictive and how dictatorial - whether you read that as coming from god herself or just from the archangels who say they act in her name. he understands what it’s like to be under the thumb of an abusive, uncaring family that wants you to conform, because crowley was part of that family. and although the show focuses on crowley’s angst at having been cast out, i don’t think it’s confusion over why he was cast out - it’s confusion over why god cast him out. he was cast out for asking questions, maybe hanging out with the wrong crowd on the wrong day, but his confusion is what happened to god and to heaven that it became the sort of place that would cast him out for such a thing. 

crowley knows that aziraphale isn’t valued by heaven. crowley knows that aziraphale is mostly ignored by heaven. crowley knows that heaven doesn’t understand aziraphale, and that aziraphale aches to conform to heaven’s standards but can’t help that he just isn’t like them, and what aziraphale has to lose if he is caught failing to conform to heaven’s standards. crowley knows that heaven isn’t coming to save aziraphale, and he knows that aziraphale is afraid of heaven, of what heaven would do to crowley if they were caught, of what heaven would do to him. crowley knows all that in 537 and in 1601 and in 1941 and in 1793 and 1800 and 1861 and in 1967. he knows that. 

so, no. i don’t think crowley was surprised by the treatment aziraphale receives in heaven. i don’t think crowley is at all taken aback by their glee at finally pruning aziraphale from their ranks. i don’t think he’s unprepared for them to give the demon permission to punch aziraphale, and i don’t think he’s surprised to hear gabriel tell him to just shut up and die already. 

i think crowley knew all that was coming, and i think part of what he wanted, in body-swapping, was to protect aziraphale from it. 

of course they also want to survive their respective punishments, but they know they’re going to be punished, and crowley knows that aziraphale expects hell to be horrible. that’s easy to deal with, when you know what to expect. of course you expect your sworn enemies to treat you terribly. of course aziraphale knows that hell is dangerous and brutal and sure to be merciless in punishing crowley. aziraphale expects that. 

but aziraphale didn’t expect the angels to confront him on the street and punch him in the stomach and shove him around. he didn’t expect heaven to turn its back on humanity and choose to go to war over choosing to end it. he really thought that he’d be able to avert the war, and that heaven would want to avert the war. and crowley knew that. 

crowley’s not surprised that heaven is vindictive and hateful when he goes up wearing aziraphale’s body, and he can protect aziraphale from the reality of that. crowley’s ready for it. crowley knows its coming. and crowley’s protecting aziraphale from it, and at the same time, finally putting to rest his own demons about being cast out. it’s his confrontation of the family he was turned out from when he couldn’t understand why. he’s facing up to the fact that they don’t love him anymore, and that that’s not on him - it’s on them. he’s ready for them to be mean. he’s ready for them to be apathetic. they didn’t care what happened to crowley, and he knows they won’t care what’s happening to aziraphale. 

but crowley cares what’s happening to aziraphale. crowley is fierce in his protection of aziraphale and always has been. crowley is glorious in his love of aziraphale and always has been. crowley is calm, and he is centered, and he is sure that this is the right thing.

(lemme tell you when i first saw this ask this was basically my reaction)

But I Love the boi. He’s my fave, and admittedly by a lot bigger of a margin compared to a couple weeks ago. Don’t ask me why??

But he’s my favorite type of “villain,” even if we don’t know everything about him yet. The style/character design? The wordplay? The entirety of the courtroom scene? Not to mention I find his reaction to frustration at the end of that bit both hilarious and a little relatable. He’s doing his best and I’m very grateful for that. 🅱️lease listen to him. It’s all he wants.

And I also gotta say that Deceit looks REALLY attractive on SvS! Like him with a suit??? Damn.

I’m a Logan stan, btw lol

And don’t even get me started on the suit oml-

rare picture of,,,baby boy

My personal headcanon

1. screenshot redraw! 2. draw a costume for crowley or aziraphale in an era where we haven’t seen them in the show (we saw regency, wwii, etc) 

3. aziraphale more like azira-feral ;) 

4. role-swaps!

5. draw pepper and anathema hanging out! they’re two of my fav characters.

@i-am-avacado and i have decided to form a ‘loving andy club’ in order to provide support to @alltimevirgilant