Gia

We have spent every bit of our lives together, after the whole Thanksgiving shit that happened, even more. while im pretty sure my dad did have concerns about Ryan and me, I'm not allowed to go anywhere without him. I'm not complaining about it. He also chilled out when Ryan got a girlfriend, who broke up with him a little over six months ago. She decided that since the ex who ghosted her was back in town she was going to give it another shot. i dont think Ryan was horribly heartbroken over it, he was in a funk after. He hasn't really expressed interest in anyone since that.

Either way, nothing has ever changed between us, we still have our weekly movie night, sleepovers almost every weekend, nights out together doing stupid shit, and family nights on Fridays. When we get forced to play at least one long game of Monopoly and four rounds of Uno just for my dad to cheat and win every time, Ryan and I have caught on but it makes the game go faster so we keep our mouths shut.

“Can we go upstairs? I need to kick Ryan's ass in Mario.” I explain to my mom while she nods as I stand up, smoothing my skirt down. Ryan comes out of the kitchen looking down at his phone with a plate of pizza rolls in his hand. ”She made food, Ryan.” his mom exclaims as she gestures to my mom.

“I know it was very good but y/n/n doesn't like it so I made an alternative she does like” his mom drops the topic as Ryan gestures the stairs waiting for me to walk up them.

I grab a roll off the plate and pop it in my mouth “Ohh shit that's hot.” I exclaim fanning my mouth. “hey fyi they are hot.” he chimes in his laugh evident. “Shut up asshole" I say walking through my door frame, moving over to let him in, pressing the wood shut with the lock clicking into place to keep my little siblings out. Ryan sits on my bed grabbing his controller for the nintendo switch i turn my LEDs on, as much as he makes fun of me for having them, we both prefer them over any other light. “What color tonight?” I ask, looking at him as his face scrunches in contemplation. “Red. We haven't done that one in a while” I click the button, walking over to the bed with my controller waiting for me.

“Ready for me to destroy you?” he says with a smirk on his face. “You wish baker” as I pick the hardest track on the screen. I eat a few pizza rolls as we play in between races. I have won four of them, Ryan has won four of them, we decide on one tie breaker and whoever wins gets bragging rights and gets to go through the others’ phone, unless he's the one that wins then no he doesn't.

“and boom you lost.” his yells. “oh whatever.” i roll my eyes at his cockiness. “hand it over.” he puts his hands out, as i shake my head. “that was the deal who ever wins gets to look through and you lost so hand it over.” he looks at me mischief written all over his smug face. he moves to grab it from my hand, i pull my arm behind me laying back as he lands above me with one hand by my waist, our faces are so close i can feel his breath fanning into my face. I become aware of how the insides of my knees are touching his hips, how I'm trapped between him and the mattress. I start to think about how little my tank top covers. He looks into my eyes and slowly down to my lips. He swallows thickly as his hand balls into fist, twisting the comforter beneath us. He dips his head down, his lips ghosting over mine.

He takes a deep breath ”tell me to stop.” he whispers, I remain silent. “Tell me to stop, not to do this.” he pleads with his voice, his eyes, wanting a different fate. “I can't.” I breathe barely audible. “You sure? Once we cross this line there's no going back. It won't be the same.” he looks in my eyes searching them thoroughly, “okay." I accept. He breathes heavily as he leans in more, bringing our lips together. His lips are soft and gentle against mine as he moves his hand to cradle my head, his tongue slides across my bottom lip. I move my hand to lay on his wrist, opening my mouth as we deepen the kiss, his tongue fighting with mine, overpowering mine as he searches my mouth, our teeth clashing occasionally. He moves his mouth down my neck kissing my jaw and behind my ear in my sweet spot lightly sucking. His hand slides down my side landing on the hem of my skirt, “our parents are down stairs” i say as my breathing shifts while swallows get stuck in my throat.

”shhh” his whisper tickles my neck as he nips my ear. “We can be quiet.” he resumes the path down my neck making his way closer to my chest. He kisses my collarbone, I can feel the heat radiating off of him, how his cheek is damp with sweat as it grazes my skin. He pulls back moving his eyes up looking at me. I push up leaning back on my elbows, seeing his dark eyes in the deep red light. They are darker then ive ever seen them. “Do you want this?” his hand slides under my shirt. i nod my head, lip bit between my teeth. “words y/n” he demands. “yes” letting my lip fall as i squirm uncomfortably.

he nods as he moves sitting straight , he moves his hand grabbing the hem of his shirt. He swiftly moves the loose fabric off of his body. I feel his hands grasp my side as he leans back down connecting our lips. I can feel the invisible fire from his hands roaming the sides of my body as his tongue collides with mine. He pulls my top off, disconnecting for less than a second for him to clear my head. He brings one hand up to my face, securing us together as his other grips my side. I place my hands on his thick shoulders feeling the muscles rivet under his skin. I've never felt this way, I've done things with other people but none of them were him. He sharply rolls his hips into mine, pulling a soft moan from my lips.

“shhh” he slips as he breathes before claiming my lips and rolling his hips again. his hand stops on my ribs just under my bra as his thumb nudges the fabric. I arch my back as I move my hand back unclasping obstructing fabric sliding it down and off. I immediately feel the sharp sting of a pinch to my nipple as he rubs it with his thumb after. he parts from my lips letting the oxygen he stole back into my lungs. I feel him leave wet kisses down my neck and breast. I arch my back off the bed as he wraps his lips around my nipple, sliding his tongue around it, getting it wet as he tugs it with suction of his lips and nips it with his teeth. He soothes it, running his flat tongue over it. He stimulates my other nipple, rolling it in his fingers as he pinches and twists. he repeats it the other way around. he kisses around on my breast sucking hard on a few spots. “oh shit thats gonna bruise” i whisper with a hint of whine in my throat.

”its supposed to baby” he smirks into my skin and gravel in his whisper as he grips my hips in his hand. He brings his face back to mine looking deep in my eyes, the honey brown im so used to seeing nowhere to be found, it replaced with a deep cloud of black. fondness? tenderness? desperate desire. I've never seen before, not in him. The intense wind in his words and the heat in his eyes sent shock through my system to my chest, and my stomach, down to my core. He wasn't kidding when he said we couldn't go back, I don't think I'll ever respond normally to the way he speaks again. ill know, ill know the heat, the feel, and the down right filth he can produce from just talking. Hes hardly touched me, he did a little to my breast other than that all hes done is talk, and im fucking soaked. I'm positive these underwear are ruined.

he tilts my chin up kissing me for the millionth time tonight, his lips capture mine with vicious pursuits my hands slide to his bicep giving a small squeeze to the plump muscle feel my skirt and underwear slide down as he hooks his fingers in. he slides it past the plump of my ass, his warm hand cups my mound as he slides his middle finger through my folds missing where i need him most. He pulls away from me, all sound lodging in my throat “your fucking soaked. if you would have told me we could have done this way sooner.” he whispers in my ear. He looks down observing how I'm sitting and his hand between my legs. He pushes my thighs to fall slack with his free hand, he watches as he moves his finger back and forth through the slick precisely ignoring my clit. He stares as he sinks his middle finger into me.

i feel moans slip through my lips,”your fucking gorgeous y/n” he curls his finger as he pulls it out before thrusting it back in. his finger moves expertly well feeling the inside of my walls, hitting my soft spot everytime he pulls back.”hm fuck ry.’ I moan as my pitch gets higher. “shhh. we dont want them to hear us do we?” he asks his hand unrelenting, I shake my head. “right, so i need you to be quiet. can you do that for me? can you be good and take it quietly.” he asks in more of a demanding tone. “yes.” I reply as his hand works the whine in my voice out. “good girl” he replys as he slides another finger in with his middle stretching me around them. my back arches off the bed into his chest in pleasure feeling him thrust his fingers in and out as they stretch me. he moves his thumb to my clit rubbing slow torturous circles over and over again. ‘ry, please.” i whisper. He shakes his head, his hand slowing slightly.

he bends bringing my nipple back to his mouth he sinks his teeth in it repeating the same action from earlier his eyes finding mine as he runs his tongue back over the sensitive bud. I never really thought about Ryan in this way, I also didn't think this is what he would be like. When one of my friends would say ‘you’ve never even thought about it’ it would make me imagine it at least a little bit, but I never would have thought he was like this. I look into his eyes as he speeds his hand up, rubbing harder circles into me. i feel the pulse start in my clit as my stomach tightens, my heart ramming in my chest, my mouth falls open as the feeling intensifies. He brings his mouth to mine as my legs start to tremble and my hands grip the sheets so hard my knuckles turn white. he swallows my moans from my throat into his own.

He pulls his hand from me, my legs feeling a light ache, I look at him, his eyes locked on me as he brings his fingers to his mouth with a smirk playing on his lips. I prop myself up as I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. nothing could as he unties his sweatpants “do you have a condom?” he whispers, I bite my lip looking up at him through my thick eyelashes ‘“no. just pull out,” he pauses looking at me shock in his eyes "you can cum in my mouth.” I push my clothes the rest of the way off laying down completely. He recovers quickly crawling back on top of me sliding his pants down a thin layer of sweat forming on his forehead. I feel him slide himself across my pussy, his cock thick and throbbing against me, “feel that? huh, can you feel what you do to me?” I can feel myself pulse, the want growing more and more. “You think it's easy pretending not to notice you, and how much I've wanted to do this? you know how many times I've had to hurry up and run home because you decided to wear those damn outfits that i admittedly helped you pick?” he spits.

“ry, please” I plead as my eyes water from my impatience. i feel him prod at my entrance. i run my hands down his front feeling his abs under my palm he brings his face close to mine his breath fanning over my face. “fuck me, please” i whisper in the most suductive tone i can muster. Holding eye contact as he caves and slowly sinks as we moan in unison, he stretches me with his long, thick, pulsing cock. I can feel every ridge and vein along him. I feel the tears from pleasure start to fall. I grab his face and bring his lips to mine before he can say anything. He fully sinks in filling me to the hilt “your huge ryan." I whisper looking down at our bodies connecting. he chuckles slightly as he moves himself out and back in slowly watching as he disappears inside of me. “please go faster.” he gives me a quick kiss on the lips as he draws his hips back, then quickly pushes back in causing my metal headboard to hit the wall behind us.

my eyes widen as ryan grabs a pillow and stuffs it behind it. “they won't hear a thing. as long as you be good and keep your pretty little mouth shut.” he reassures me as my walls flutter around him as his words travel through my ears. He thrusts back into me grabbing my hips. I watch as his body moves his face next to mine as his abs flex with every thrust in and his shoulders holding him up, his hips as they thrust in and out of me. My legs feel like they are on fire as everywhere else he touches the fireworks in my stomach never settling as he lifts my hips up off the mattress slightly, his grip on me so hard it's bruising. “You're doing such a good job. taking me so well” his grunts. I can feel him in my stomach every time he rushes back in he hits my spots so well, like he was made for me. I feel the struggle crawling in my throat if it was just me and him in this house his ears would hurt. I rest my hands on his shoulders as his hips piston in and out of me at a restless pace.

“harder, hm fuck im gonna cum.” he ups the pressure as he moves his hand to my clit rubbing in tight uniform circles my legs sitting on his shoulders, he moves his other hand to my stomach pressing on my lower abdomen as his tip hits my cervix. My velvety walls tighten and flutter as he shows no sign of stopping. He hits my g-spot repeatedly hard. I feel my legs and stomach tense as my eyes roll back “that's it come on cum for me. good girl.” he says in my ear doing me in i bite my lip so hard i swear im gonna draw blood. I feel my body let go, the calm settling over me. He lets me down onto the bed, pulling himself out of me. I whine at how empty I feel. He sits next to me on the bed, his back against the bars of my head board. I roll over smooth my hair back from my forehead, swiping sweat with it as I get closer to him.

“you don't have to” he says as he swipes his hand across my forehead looking up at his body and face glistening in red leds. “i want to.” I say wrapping my hand around the tip of him. he throws his head back at the contact. I slide my hand up and down his shaft letting my thumb wipe the little beads of white that come through. I wrap my mouth around him focusing on the tip as I let my hand do most of the work. “y/n” he says lowly. i swirl my tongue on his tip before i pull back. i keep my hand moving as gather spit in my mouth letting it fall on him before placing my mouth back on him, mainly for show as his hand comes up to the back of my head moving the hair from my face. I speed my hand up as I work my tongue harder against him as he grips my hair in the makeshift ponytail. i feel him twitch on my tongue as he tenses “fuck im gonna cum. shit y/n” as he releases his hot liquid into my mouth.

he pulls my head off of him as i swallow the load hes given me,”your fucking amazing” as he pulls my head back enough for him to kiss my lips. “Let’s go hop in the shower and wash off.” As he looks in my eyes standing from the bed. I scoot myself to the edge of the bed with my legs hanging off the side, Ryan moves toward me taking his arm under the hinge of my knees as his other wraps around my back as he lifts me walking toward my bathroom that is conjoined with my room. I can’t help but be happy about how stubborn and convincing I was growing up. I remember being twelve and talking my parents into giving me this room.

I’m also happy because of Ryan, he’s really sweet. He turns the water to warm before he turns and grabs two towels from my shelf. He lifts me off the seat taking most of my weight into his arms as he moves us into the shower. He helps me wash my hair and massages my scalp, he helps wash my body, running the loofa across my skin, he tenderly cleans every part of me. He leans me against him with my back to his chest letting the water run as he gives me light kisses on the back of my head and on my shoulders.

~

He helped me get dressed and settled in my bed as he set everything outside of the bed up, his sweatpants low on his hips as his tank top that he’s left here from past sleep overs hugs him perfectly. Before i would force myself to look away, now i can’t. I know what’s there and what it looks like, feels like. The line has been crossed and I don’t want to go back. “Alright im turning ‘back to the future’ on.” He says as he crawls up next to me. I smile and nod my head at him, settling myself against him as soon as he lays down. His hand come up to the back of my head playing with my hair. “I love you y/n/n” he presses his lips against my forehead. We say it all the time frequently to each other but this time feels different. A good different.

Ryan and I walk down the stairs “good morning.” We say passing our parents. His parent must have just stayed the night last night, probably whipped out some alcohol and couldn't drive. “Morning” they all reply as we sit at the table with our plates sat in front of us. ‘What happened last night? We heard a bang upstairs.” I look at Ryan trying to tame my panic rising, “I fell. Managed to hit the wall and the floor.” Ryan quips as our parents laugh at his clumsiness, beginning to bring up old stories from when we were kids, I feel Ryan touch my leg with his.

“Did Ryan hit his head on your bed yesterday?” My little brother says as he walks down the stairs. I furrow my brows at him. “I thought i heard it. Because i heard boom. And now you have a pillow up there. Just so you know it would be more smart to put the pillow on this side because you can still hit your head” he says matter-of-fact tone in his voice. I realize what he just said and feel all eyes turn to us. who i know for sure is gonna recognize the oldest trick in the book. I can see my dad specifically in the corner of my eye.

I walked to the schedule to see where I'm stationed. I'm really good with anything but art, as much as I love creation i spent way too much on these clothes for those kids to get paint all over them. I squint as the sun beams against the paper, the white burning into my eyes as I find my name next to the pool. lifeguarding. Not my first choice but I'll take it. I turn making my way toward the fenced area. My guard partner is standing by one of the chairs his white tshirt laying thin against his torso. I open the gate “hey im y/n” I announce to try to get to know him before the kids get here in about two hours. “Hey, I'm Ben. I already did all the opening steps so we don't really have anything to do,” he replies. It's nice he didn't wait til I got here. One year I remember my partner for lifeguarding didn't do any of it even when he got here before me. “why dont you tell me a little about yourself ben.” I say in hopes of finding common interest. He's kinda nerdy, so we may have a few things there.

I'm not a nerd but I find certain TV shows, movies, books, and things like that interesting. He's cute, definitely awkward, and he has a good build atleast from what I can see. His exposed skin shines in the sun as he rambles. I know he's said something about Star Wars, but I was always more into Harry Potter. I see an old friend through the fence, my face subconsciously scrunches up “You okay?” Ben stands straighter.

“yeah im alright. Just that dude over there we used to be friends then he decided to tell the whole school we slept together when we didn't. It's a really long story.” he nods as we realize we have been talking for two hours already.

I sit in the lifeguard area for our third week of this. I'm happy they changed the rules and we don't switch roles every week. That was a nightmare. The pool is only open from 11:00 a.m.- 2:00 p.m. so Ben and I get sent to a break before they have us help with other tasks around camp, the bell chimes, meaning the pool is closing for the day. Ben and I have lunch then we meet at the front desk like clockwork, but today we decide we are going to get burgers and come back as long as we don't take a substantial amount of time we should be okay. “Are you ready?” He walks over with the pool keys in hand. I nod as I grab my car keys.

“You drive a truck?” He questions me staring at the truck I just unlocked, it's old but it runs great. The downside is no back seat, just the one bench seat with cupholders that pull out where the radio sits. “yep” I say, climbing in the driver's seat. Our car ride is filled with singing and laughter. We sit waiting on our order to be brought out to us with the windows down letting the summer breeze in as my a/c fights the heat, the parking lot relatively empty has a light hum of voices occasionally. They said an estimate of 30 minutes until it would be done. “Do you have any interesting or embarrassing stories?” He shakes his head. “You have to have at least one. I think we've known each other well enough for you to trust me with this shit. like your worst —blowjob.” He doesn't say anything as his shyness pulls through.

”Ben? Did I say something wrong im sor-“ he shakes his head.

“i havent had one. thats all,” he admits the tips of his ears and across his cheeks turning rosy. I look at him shocked, words leaving my vocabulary. “Can I fix that?” was all I could think to say. I didn't mean to say it out loud, but my mouth is faster than my brain. I mean I do like Ben, a small crush is definitely there. His eyes wide as he swallows thickly before nodding. I lean in bringing my face to his, my breath hot as I hold his head, my thumbs grazing his hammering pulse point. I close the gap between our lips interlocking with mine. I glide one of my hands down his clothed torso feeling the muscle beneath. My hand stops on his clothed cock, I lay my hand squeezing lightly, his hips jerk in surprise as my lips work with his. I move my lips traveling to his jaw leaving open-mouth kisses. moans slip from his mouth.

I pull away, turning to roll the windows up, turning the air down to a steady medium flow. I turn back, giving a quick kiss to his lips. I move my hand to his waistband, sliding my fingers in feeling his warm skin and I slide his shorts down. His hips lift for me letting me slide them off. His cock hits his stomach, i wrap my hand around him feeling the veins under my palm, feeling his weight in my hand, his length and girth showing large. I take my hand gathering spit in my mouth letting it drip onto my hand before wrapping it back around him. Ben's eyes were glued to my every move as I slid my hand moving the wetness up and down his length adding bits of pressure. Ben tries to suppress the noise building in the back of his throat. I kiss his tip giving kitten licks. I put my tongue at the base, gliding it up to his angry red tip. I move my hand up and down his length using my thumb to smooth the bead of precum.

I wrap my mouth around his tip lightly sucking, his head falls back as his jaw goes slack. I slowly work him into my throat as far as I can get him. He moves his hand hesitantly to my head resting it there as I pull my head back, my lips snug around him. I swirl my tongue around the head pulling him back into my mouth.” Hmh, y/n” he lets out strangled moans. He hits the back of my throat, his hand pulling into a fist, tugging my hair. A few moans hum in my throat as he tugs my hair. I take my hand from the base taking him deeper into my throat as I cup his balls in my hand with light pressure squeezing him. “holy shit fuck” his words pitchy, as his breathing becomes more labored, his thigh tenses under my hand. I can tell he's getting close as his body tenses, his grip tightens pulling on my hair, and the twitching against my tongue becomes more frequent with every bob of my head.

His moans are frequent and louder as his jagged breathing comes heavy. I feel his entire body tense as his balls tighten, “fuck y/n” the rasp in his voice mixes with his higher pitch his restraint on his hips failing as they buck into my throat. I feel his warm load coat my mouth, and I bob my head a couple more times. I pull my mouth off him swallowing the thick liquid, spit glistening on my chin, I pump my hand on his length bringing him down. I reach over and open my glove box to get napkins. I use one to wipe my mouth really fast before using one on him. I'm as gentle as I can be as I take the thin paper towel over his tip. I look up as Ben's head rests against the headrest, his eyes willing shut. “You okay?” I ask with a smile climbing onto my face. “Yeah, I- I’m great. thank you,” he says, his face showing that post orgasmic glow. He slides his shorts back up. Looking to see a girl with two drinks and a bag approaching the car. “Order for Ben?” she says as we roll the window down. Ben gets the food and looks at me while we both start laughing.

Ben and I have been dating for about a month and a half, and we have talked about everything like meeting families and all that. As much as I want him to, my brother is an asshole. So after I pick him up from the supermarket, I'm going to have a talk with him. I walk up to the store doors the a/c punching me in the face. I can hear the mumble of arguing. I have no doubt it's my brother.

” That's not true. fyi i have a girlfriend.”

” You expect me to believe that?” my brother retorts.

”isnt your sister supposed to be picking you up? Can you ask her to get here faster?” I hear a ring through my ears as I walk forward, coming face to chest with my boyfriend. ”Oh hey? What are you doing here?” He wraps his arms around me. I smile at him giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

"I thought you worked at the other one on the other side of town.” he shakes his head.

“nope this one.” he turns around with his arm around me

“So were you the one he was talking about?” I whisper to myself.

“told you I had a girlfriend” he shouts at the kid by the register, whose jaw is dropped in shock until he looks at my face.

”OH HELL NO’ he shouts. Ben looks at him confused.

”Anyway, gotta go see you later, yeah?” I look at Ben, he nods still confused over the boy's reaction.”ready little bro?” I shout at Kyle as Ben's eyes widen.

”no fucking way” his hand smacks over his mouth. “That's your brother?” I nod and give him another kiss as Kyle swings his backpack over his shoulder walking toward the door.

}*{

The summer before Eighth grade year, 1979.

Summer camp was fun for most teens, but not for me. It all sounded fun in theory, with all the hanging with friends all the time, late nights at the snack shack, jokes around the campfire, and late-night talks. I could laugh and have a few conversations, but I hated camp. For me, those six weeks were the most miserable of my life. We would leave beginning of July and come home beginning of August, also known as the hottest months of the year. This year is no different; we leave on July 5 and come home on August 10, and school always starts the following Monday.

So today I wake up at 4:00 in the morning with my bags packed and a big fake smile. I walk to the car with a knot of dread in my stomach, a stress headache, and the tightest high ponytail known to mankind.

"Do you have everything you need?" Mom asks as she does every year. "Yes," I reply quickly. I have everything except the desire to go to camp. "Good, now let's go," she said as she jumped into the car. I slowly climbed into the passenger seat, trying to stretch out my time at home for as long as possible. Who knows, maybe if I took even longer, I would miss the bus. If that happens, I wouldn't need to go to Tennessee because I know she wouldn't drive me all the way there if I missed it.

The drive there was quiet, other than my mom saying it was my last year going to camp as a jr high student. I honestly couldn't care less if it's my last year at that stupid school. Mom always tells me I'm lucky because we are in a good school district, but I beg to differ. Honestly, that school is a nightmare. The bathrooms are disgusting, and they can't even be bothered to fix the stall doors. On top of that, the place is filled with a whole lot of mean people. It's frustrating to see how some students treat others, especially those who haven't even looked their way or aren't in their social circle.

The football players and cheerleaders seem to be the main culprits. I get the joy of spending six long, dreadful weeks around them. I've heard that the soccer players are pretty decent, which is a relief, but I steer clear of the baseball players. I just can't handle the constant flirting and cheesy pick-up lines. Not that the football players are any better in that department.

As we park in the school parking lot, I can see four school buses waiting to be filled with kids. I hop out of the car, grab my things with my mom's help, and walk over to where everyone is standing. "Boys will be in these two buses," our principal announces, "and girls in these two." I recall my mom mentioning that some parents had issues with the buses being unisex; she thought they were being ridiculous. I can't help but be thankful I don't have to be on the same bus as the annoying, unhygienic, dirty-minded boys.

"Hey, it's time for the annual cheer picture!" Kylie yells as she practically drags me over. I have to say, Kylie is one of the most genuine people on the team, but she's still the type who might stab you in the back if necessary.

After everyone has taken their pictures and said their goodbyes to their parents, it's time to load up the bus. I enter the bus and walk straight to the back, taking a seat. Kylie and the rest of the cheerleaders follow me. As soon as Kylie and a few others settle in, I hear them start talking. "Did you see Jason looking at me? Also, Lisa, I saw Tina talking to your boyfriend." It looks like this is going to be a long ride.

*

We arrive at the campground, which has every type of sports field imaginable, all surrounded by trees. Everyone is excited to be at camp and to use the bathroom. I couldn't care less about being here; the only reason I'm happy is that I have access to the restroom because two stops were not enough.

Everyone slowly piles out of the bus, with me being the last to get off. "Alright, everyone, I'm going to call attendance by team. When I call your name, say 'here.' Understand?" one of our counselors yells into a microphone she found, who knows where. After a collective yes from everybody, she begins with the soccer team; I know that she is going to call out cheer second to last, like she does every other year I've been here. But no one is dismissed until she calls the very last name on the football team.

about fifteen minutes passes, and she's finally getting to the football players. It wouldn't have taken this long if some of the other guys hadn't acted like they were forgotten, which is pretty typical for most of the football team. "Wally Clark!" she shouts. "Here," comes a quick reply. I'm honestly surprised that whoever said that is on the football team. Instead of making us all wait another two minutes, he was very quick with his response. Pretty impressive, "and that's everybody," she says, "you all can go to Miss Airheart and see what cabin and room you're in," she says quickly as all the kids start to walk.

*

As I walk up to my cabin, I notice we are between one of the football cabins and a volleyball team from a different state. I wouldn't care about being next to the football cabin if they were from somewhere else, but it seems I can't get lucky twice. I know I seem to complain a lot, but for everything else, I just go with the flow, but I hate camp.

I'm in room 57, right in the middle of the hallway. There are four beds, and I pick the one in the far corner. I look over at my roommates for the time being: Lisa, Tina, and Kylie. Two of them walk in arguing, and Kylie just plops onto a bed.

"I didn't know you were in this room," Kylie says with a smile on her face, "this is going to be so fun". I nod in response; if my headache from earlier went away, it sure is back now. "You guys can go get dinner if you're hungry," our counselor says as she pops her head into our door. As soon as she leaves, we all grab our stuff and start to head to the cafeteria.

Somehow, the entire football team made it here before anyone else from Split River; they are all seated and about halfway through their meals. "Hey, cutie, where are you from?" John Carington asks. I seriously don't think he is talking to me until I feel a tap on my arm. I don't say anything, just roll my eyes and shake my head.

There's no way I'm going to play games with that idiot. I'd rather die than act dumb in front of a bunch of people I've known since first grade. Luckily, the line is moving pretty fast this year because they have enough staff; last year, it took forever to get through just two kids. Spaghetti from here was never my favorite, but it was still a good spaghetti. They do have really good garlic bread.

The girls and I find somewhere to sit down, and as I go to eat my food, I feel something hit my chair. I turn to see John Carington, Jason Carr, and Robert McDaniel. "What do you want?" I say, annoyed. "Just for you to answer my question," John replies with a smug smirk on his face. "If you have to sit and do this to get a girl to talk to you, good luck getting a girlfriend. Now take you and your blue-eyed freak friends back to your table." I say and roll my eyes. I point back to their table and shoo them away. They finally drop their smirks and walk away.

I know on the way back to the cabin, I'm going to get chewed out for doing that to him, but I don't care. He's an asshole, plus even if I didn't have multiple reasons to reject him, I still would. He isn't my type; I have always been more attracted to people with darker features, like dark hair and dark eyes. Every single one of the boys who were just in front of me had blue eyes and blonde hair. I also see no reason to be dating. I'm going to be in 8th grade; I don't need to be thinking about who I'm going to marry. Whoever I date will be someone I see a future with.

*

As the alarm goes off, dread immediately sets in. I sit up and glance around, realizing I'm the only one who has been stirred awake by the loud alarm. I hurry up and head to the showers before everyone is awake.

As I walk into the bathroom, five of the six showers are being used. I take it that the alarm didn't work very well for most of the team. I hurry and hop in the shower so the others who have yet to wake up can just get in.

"Make sure you get dressed in team shirts, we have the first day of camp pictures today. We need to look like a team." I hear our coach yelling repeatedly as she walks through the hall and down into the bathrooms.

I hurry and run back to my room as my roommates walk past toward the bathroom. I check the clock: "5:40 a.m." It took longer than I thought, but I still have plenty of time; the breakfast hall doesn't open til 6:00 a.m.

*

The line for breakfast wasn't horrible, I'm sure not everybody woke up like they were supposed to. They always go easy on everybody the first two full days. I grab a chocolate chip muffin and water; I'm not much of a breakfast person, so I usually just skip it.

I walk out the door muffin and water in hand. "Not hungry, princess?" I turn to see John Carington. "fuck off, asshole," I roll my eyes and begin to walk over to the furthest bench. "Not a morning person either, I take it," he yells after me as I get further and further away.

I make my way over to the gym where cheer is due to start our warm-up in about five minutes. One good thing about having to walk what feels like a mile is that we are probably about half a mile in reality from everyone, mainly the football players. I don't have to deal with that annoying ass popular jock wannabe at least until lunch at noon.

I walk into the gym and greet the coaches who are inside already. I walk to the bleachers and sit until it's time to start the warm-up.

}*{

We are dismissed from cheer for today. Usually, we would have to go to lunch, have a small break, and come back, but because it is the first week, they will have 'extracurriculars' instead. We have the option of: Coaching 101, reading, Art, drama, and park clean up. Most of the football, baseball, and soccer players pick either Coaching 101 or Park cleanup because they goof off the whole time. I'm usually torn between art and reading. I think this year I'm going to do art.

As we walk past the soccer field on our way to the cafeteria, I spot Oliver chatting with a taller boy who has darker hair. I thought I knew everyone on the soccer team, but I guess they've added some new players. Hes obviously from split river because his shirt says it on the back. I'll have to catch up with Oliver later to see what's going on.

Today's lunch is hamburgers and French fries. Honestly, if I eat right now, I'll probably just throw it back up. Kylie keeps insisting that I eat something, so I compromise and have a few fries, which I'm fine with.

We find a bench swing down the path to chill on while she eats. We chat away until it's time for our extracurriculars—just something to break up the routine a bit.

*

Kylie and I have parted ways because I am going to art and she is going to reading. I considered switching after hearing that most of the people I spoke with were going to reading, while others were going to clean up. It's because of the boys, I'm sure.

I make my way up the cafeteria path to the side entrance. I start to look at my surroundings, like the freshly trimmed bushes lining the walkway, with the red railing that will fall if you lean on it.

I look up to watch where I'm walking, and I notice the same boy from the soccer field standing by the door. He stops talking to one of the players on our football team and turns to the door. He notices me walking up as he opens the door and gestures to me inside with his free hand, "ladies first," he says with a smile.

I say "thank you" with a nod and a smile. I continue to walk in towards the table to the right of the door, a little ways down, to find out what I'm going to be stuck doing for the next probably close to three hours.

"Name and last initial, please," the older lady with the check-in board and a pen says.

"Y/n L/n." I reply with a tight-lipped smile on my face. "Got it. We don't have anyone on the competition banner yet, so you can go ahead and start that. The paper for it is at the end of the third table down," she points with a smile. I nod and turn over to walk to the pencils for the sketching process.

I pull my seat out and rest my knee on it as I lean over to start sketching. They always want different kinds of sports balls and jerseys all around the words 'Camp Championship.' I start with a soccer ball in the far right corner at the end of the table.

I hear footsteps approaching the table. I finish my hexagon and look to see who's walking over. I see the same boy who held the door open walking down. He makes a stop midway down the paper and looks at it. As he scans for anything on the paper, he catches me at the end of the table.

"Hey," he says, walking toward me.

"Hi," I say with a confused smile and my eyebrows raised. I wasn't expecting to be talked to, but he seemed nice, and he held the door. He can't be too bad.

"Is there a plan for this banner thing or..." he trailed as he tapped the pencil on his palm.

"Not really, just sketching right now. If you want, you can start by drawing the other types of balls. You know how to draw a volleyball?" I ask. I figure if he's asking, he just doesn't know what to do.

"No, not really," he replies as he pulls a seat across from me out.

"What about a baseball?" I try.

"I'll give it a shot," he says with a laugh.

I continue with the soccer ball. I hear him clear his throat. "Where are you from? I don't think I've seen you before," he says. "I'm from Split River," I say as I look up at him, "I can see the same as you." I don't expect him to know me at all. If I had no idea who he was, then he wouldn't know who I was either.

"Really?" He questions, "What are you here for?" he continues, "Cheer. Are you here for soccer? I saw you over there earlier," I reply as I round the corner of the ball I was drawing. "No, I'm here for football, actually." he does not seem like a football player at all. "What's your name?" I try to get an idea of who he is. "Wally Clark," this is the guy who immediately said ‘here’ when they were doing rollcall when we first got here instead of making us all wait like an asshole. "And yours?" he asks as he erases the stitching he just tried to draw. "Y/n l/n".

"Nice to meet you, y/n," he smiles as he looks up from the paper at me. "Nice to meet you, Wally." I smile back.

}*{

Art is coming to a close. I think we have made pretty good progress; I finished up about 3 soccer balls, two footballs, a volleyball, and the drawing lessons I stopped and gave Wally for the baseball. He didn't do horribly, but you can tell he doesn't do this very often.

I gather all the pencils and walk them over to the bins while Wally runs the erasers back to theirs. "I wonder if they are gonna let us roll it up this year," I say, smoothing the paper on the table. "What do you mean?" "Every year, they leave the banner on the table knowing we still have meals in here, and every year, someone gets food on it, and then the people who work on it have to find a way to cover it up. I don't get how because no one sits here, but it still happens. I don't see why they don't just roll it up." I answer his question

"All cleaned up over here?" the lady who checked me in walks past. "Yep, are we gonna roll it up this year so food doesn't get on it again?" I ask, hoping she'll say yes. "No, we will just make sure no one sits there," she says with a smile and walks away. "Great," I say with fake enthusiasm, "be ready to fix a mess tomorrow." I turn to Wally, who's already looking at me.

"Everyone is dismissed for today. You guys have an hour until dinner," one of the adults yells.

~

I saw Wally walk in from my seat at the dinner table. "There's the football team," another cheerleader says as they all start chatting about them. I fight the urge to stab these plastic knives into my ears. I turn to Kylie, twisting the cap off my water bottle, "How was reading?" I asked so for once we could talk about something other than boys. "It was good, we had a choice between Bridge to Terabithia or Dune," she replied quickly, taking another bite. "I don't get why they don't just let you read whatever, there are plenty of other books and genres in that library. Do you think if we--" I got cut off by a yell.

"It's none of your business what I do." Everyone stops talking to turn to see where it came from. I scan the room to see who said that, my eyes land right across from our table on the football team, more specifically, Wally and John. "Maybe, but when you are going out of your way to hurt people who I doubt you even know or would care to. And make not only yourself but our entire team look like assholes, including me. It becomes my business," Wally replied sharply. I would like to know how this started, but considering they are standing next to the banner, I have a pretty good guess.

It is eerily silent in the room, and everyone is waiting to see what happens next. I stand up to see clearly, John's face is red, looking like a toddler about to throw a tantrum. He throws a punch straight toward Wally's jaw.

"WALLY!" I yell a bit louder than I mean to as I jog over. He's holding his mouth now, sitting down, and the football coach has already grabbed John. "Are you okay?" I ask, concerned, and he just nods in response. I move over as the nurse walks in and looks at him. "Let's go to the office," he smiles at him. They make their way to the door. I look over, and I can see the coach dragging John out by the arm. I hope that he actually gets in trouble for this and not a slap on the hand. "Alright, everyone, scenes over, get back to dinner," one of our head counselors, Mr.Labarti, yells to get everyone to move along.

"What was that?" Kylie asks as I sit down at my seat. "What?" I look at her, confused, as I take a bite of my sandwich that is now cold. "I thought you didn't like anybody, let alone someone from the football team," she continued with an assumptive look on her face. "I don't like anyone." I roll my eyes. "Mhm, this is the same person who yesterday morning said if anyone from the football team came within ten feet, she was gonna puke. Now one of them gets hurt, and you start to freak” nodding her head.

"Just because I don't like them doesn't mean I don't have sympathy, I'm not a monster." I take a drink of water. "So if it was John who got punched in the face just now, you have done the same thing?" she said, raising her eyebrows. I, with heavy hesitation, "maybe,"

"Last week, you said you wished he would snap his neck at a game so he couldn't talk to you anymore." She tilts her head at me. "ok, I wouldn't do that if it were John, but he is a jerk who can't take no for an answer. Also, I didn't completely mean that. I don't wish death upon anyone, just a relatively serious injury to where he would have to stay home for a while," I retort as I nervously take a drink of my water. "Sure, whatever you say," as she rolls her eyes back as far as they will go.

*

I knock on the nurse's office door with two donuts in hand: one jelly and the other glazed with chocolate icing. I know he didn't get to eat his dinner, I doubt the nurse thought of that, so I stopped by snack shack to pick something up. I don't know what he likes, so I played it safe.

"Hi, how can I help you?" our camp nurse opens the door. "Is Wally Clark still here?" I ask, rocking on my heels. "Oh, you must be the girlfriend I saw earlier. Yes, he's in the back. Follow me," he rushes me in the door and through the doorway before I can correct him.

"Wally, you have a visitor." he moves to the side to let me in. Wally moves to sit up, confused, holding an icepack to his lip. I slowly walk in. "Hey, how are you feeling?" I say softly. "Better," and he sets the icepack down.

"What are you doing here?" he asks with a small smile. "Came to see how you were doing. I also brought donuts, I figured since you didn't really get the chance to eat dinner." I explained extending the donuts into his reach.

"Which one?" he says, looking at me pushing up on his arms to sit straighter. "Whichever one you want," I say as an obvious answer. "There are two of them, one is for you, which one do you want?" he fiddles with the paper on the examination table absent-mindedly. "It's whichever one you want, Wally. You're the one who got punched. I think you should get whichever donut you want." I say, rolling my eyes with a betraying smile on

"You don't like jelly, so that one," he says as he takes the jelly one off the napkin. "Alright. Wait, how did you know I don't like jelly?" I said, totally confused, where he learned that. "You told me," he says as he takes a bite. "I did?" I'm trying to remember telling him that, but I have no idea what he's talking about.

"Yeah, when we were working on the banner. You said that you liked peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but that's weird because you don't like peanut butter or jelly otherwise," he informed me of the interaction from earlier. "Hmm, speaking of the banner, would you like to tell me how you scored a punch to the face?" I say sitting down next to him.

"Well, if I'm being honest, every year that banner gets messed up, it is because of the team, my team. They consider it a tradition. I never participated, but I never cared enough to stop it either." his mood dips slightly. "After today, I saw how it was actually made and how much time it actually took. So when you mentioned it getting ruined every year, after I noticed. I saw him going to do that. I couldn't let him ruin your hard work, not this year. Let's just say he wasn't a big fan of that. Y/n, I am so sorry for not saying anything sooner, for not stopping them from doing that. I know they did it badly on the one from last year. I know, now, how hard it is to do. Every year, it always still ended up looking amazing, not that that's a good excuse. I'm sorry, I understand if you want to leave." he stops talking, and silence takes over.

"Apology accepted. Don't give me all the credit, you did help, and not that it made it okay, they did that last year, if it helps, I did do reading last year." I pat his shoulder. They seem to feel a bit lighter after I say that, and his smile returns.

"Wally, you're free to leave if you would like. Just make sure to keep the ice pack on your mouth until the bonfire," the nurse pops his head in to say.

}*{

I'm walking towards the middle of the campground for tonight's activities. The fire burns bright. Kids are being loud and dumb. "Hey," I say, walking up to Kylie. "Hi," she says, rolling her eyes. "What's wrong?" I reply, concerned. "Oh, nothing, just you completely ditching Gaga Ball earlier," she gives as an aggravated reply. "I was supposed to go to Gaga today? No one told me." I'm very confused. "Whatever, I'll see you at the cabin," she says sharply and starts walking away.

I'm not really sure what she wants me to do, no one told me so I didn't know. Yet, somehow still mad at me, got it. I look around and see everyone in their group. I'm going to go get a drink from the drink station.

I grab a dr pepper and pop the top. I look around and see a log about ten feet from me with a very lonely Wally sitting on it. "Hey," I say, walking closer, "am I allowed to be over here, or are you on some sort of probation?" I say with a smile. "No, you're good. I was told good job by the coach." he pats next to him on the log. I sit down next to him, but not close enough to be touching. "Shouldn't you be with your team then?" I say skeptical. "I would, but they're all kinda mad at me right now." He admits to picking bark off the log. "Why?"I ask.

Before he starts, he sighs, "Well, after today's incident, the coach talked to me to get my side of the story. I told him what had happened, he asked if this was the first year this happened, I said no. he said 'While I am not the happiest that this has been an ongoing thing. i am proud that you told me all of this and that you stuck up for whats right' and then said he had some other things to take care of, turns out other things meant getting the entire team in trouble and I'm pretty sure everyone has to do punishment tomorrow except me." he turn to look at me fiddling with a piece of bark in his hand. "how about you? Why are you over here?" he asks.

"I got a drink from the table and I saw you over here, figured I'd say hi-- and my teammates, or the ones I care to talk to, are mad at me too," I admit. "And why's that?" he turns more towards me. "I missed a Gaga ball game sometime today that no one told me about. Apparently, I was supposed to be there." I say in an annoyed tone. "That's dumb," he replies with a chuckle. "That's the cheer team for you," I say, smiling back.

}*{

Camp is coming to an end. As we all hop in to the buses, mentally preparing for our trip home. As much as I hate to admit it, I actually liked camo this year I almost don’t want it to end. I do miss my parents and my own room but I’m also gonna miss it here. I never thought I would say that but here we are, it is also going to be weird not talking to Wally everyday. Every meal, every bonfire, every break, walks back to the cabin, every night I have spent with Wally. It will be a big transition if I’m honest, I know we go to the same school but I don’t think it will be the same.

*

”from then on we were inseparable. We went to the diner after school every Thursday, did homework at his on Tuesday, as odd as it sounds every Monday even after practices we would go to my house for dinner. From the summer before eighth up until right before homecoming my junior year.” I close my story, my voice giving an unsettled breath.

”okay, you died right before homecoming right? It was a few days.” Rhonda questions, her Brows furrowed with confusion as to how we ended up like this.

“We got in a fight and decided we weren’t friends anymore.” I cut in.

*

junior year, one week before homecoming, 1982.

I’m standing at my locker switching my books out getting the ones I need for history. Seeing the flyer for homecoming in my locker, i have gone alone for the last three years, yeah i had Wally with me but last year he had a girlfriend he brought with. He did keep it appropriate. I don’t even think they kissed once the entire time, but i still don’t want my entire high school experience to be lonely. I don’t prioritize having a boyfriend never have, i still have wondered if I’m missing out.

I’ve only been asked out twice, they were both to eighth grade formal and i said no. I’m in highschool now, it's not like Wally is gonna ask me. As much as i wish he would sometimes, he doesn’t like me like that. I’m like ninety percent sure that no one has asked me because they are scared of Wally. He is the football captain, the star of our football team who is (correctly) assumed to be very strong, he is also known as my best friend. If you knew me you knew him and vice versa. All of the girlfriends he has had through the last few years either dealt with it or they broke up.

I’m tired of being a third wheel. If someone asks me this year I’m going to say yes, I’m tired of waiting on Wally. I realized beginning of sophomore year i liked him, i know it wont happen and i would rather have him as a friend than as nothing at all. I hear a speaker approaching with the sound of ‘hit me with your best shot’ by pat benatar. I turn to see who the lucky girl is, the weight settles in of having no one as I turn and see Jason Carr holding flowers and a poster board that says ‘say yes because im taking my best shot.’ He has a smile on his face as he walks toward me. “Y/n, will you go to homecoming with me?” He yells loud enough for the entire hallway to hear, as everyone turns their heads toward us, waiting on my answer, “yes.” I say as i grab the flowers from his hand.

*

“Your house works” i say as i wrap up my conversation with Kasey over our assignment we have to do. I grab my sixth period books and close my locker feeling a stare on me, almost burning. I turn around coming face to face, well face to chest with Wally. “Hey?” I say feeling the tenseness radiating from him.

”Jason Carr, really? Your going to homecoming with Jason Fucking Carr.” He says lowly the annoyance and anger unmissed.

“Yes i am. Why?” I snip back, i don’t understand why he is so pressed about this.

“You can’t. He’s a fucking- he’s an asshole.” He retorts his tone catching more sharp by the second.

“I can and im going to. He asked me and i said yes, you can’t tell me what to do Wally. It’s not like i already had a date. I’ve went this entire time I’ve been in highschool by myself. And even if you were there you had someone come with. This time I have a date who wants to go with me whether you like it or not.” I snap struggling to keep my voice to a minimum.

“You said no one asks you anyway and you didn’t want one. Now all the sudden the second you do it has to be with Jason Carr?’’ Emotions seeping in his voice.

”maybe they wouldn’t ask me because im always with you. Everyone and i mean everyone is scared shitless of you. Maybe i just want to be someone to someone, Have a boyfriend, hold hands, kiss til our lips or soar, or be surprised with flowers.” I feel a knot form in my throat.

”this is my fault? You think this is my fault? If you wanted me to i could have gotten you someone, anyone else for fucks sake. Not to mention you hate flowers, they die too quick and make a mess on your dresser.” I feel the ping in my chest.

”Wally i dont need you to find someone for me. I am perfectly capable of doing it myself. And maybe i just needed time from you to do it.” I spit feeling the hurt and the ache all at once. Wally clenches his jaw and nods his head, “you want time away? you got it y/n/n,” he paused as he turned around and looked at me one more time, “dont let him fuck you up y/n.” He layered finality in his voice.

*

”i died a few days later.” I sighed.

”didn’t you die on the football field? Also I thought you quit cheer at the end of sophomore year.” Rhonda's curiosity starts taking over.

“Yes and yes. I never full told the story to the group and Wally obviously hasn’t said anything.”

*

Two days before homecoming, junior year,1982.

i sat on the bleachers the cold on my skin i would be practicing for the homecoming game for cheer right now if i was still on the team. The football team also has been practicing which is why me and Wally weren’t going to see each other much this week anyway. The only reason im here is because I’m waiting for my lab partner to finish up in the locker room. I stand the breeze flowing against my legs and in my hair. Walking around the fenced in area to the track by our team benches. I look at the team watching them practice they may all be assholes but they know how to play ball. Wallys not here, that’s the only reason I was cool about waiting here. I’m still not ready to talk to him, I feel a churn in my gut everytime i think about it. Was it harsh? Yes. Was he out of line? Also yes. But is that really enough to end a whole friendship over? Probably not.

He had a appointment after school. He had to go to, dentist if im not mistaken. His dad meet him there I believe. He might have left a little early, I'm not sure. I see a glimmer in the grass as I walk over. It’s a small bracelet I’ve seen in the catalogs they send to houses. I can only guess its one of the cheerleaders, they all wear stuff like this. I bend down grasping the delicate metal, examining it as i stand back up. I can hear in the distance “heads up” being yelled. I tense as a ball flys straight to me, startled my nervous system locks up as I lose my balance. It’s light out as i hit the nape of my neck on the corner of those cold fuckass bleachers.

*

i wake up on the field, no one is here, the school is vacant. One person here is a girl who seems to have an oral fixation on suckers. I've seen her go through three of them just while I'm laying here. “You awake lady bug?” She asks unmoving, not even her stare that’s pinned on the lights.

“Yep” I say, realizing nothing really hurts like I thought it would.

The little while after that was kind of a blur, I did look for Wally but couldn’t find him, he was absent in every class. For three days, he was gone. Did he even know I had died? Homecoming was moved to a different building because of the incident, did he go? Turns out he did. I saw a picture of him with two people on the cheer team and two who were on the football team.

My memorial is what did it. “Hello yes everyone come on in and have a seat.” Our principal said into the mic. They are having my memorial in the gym at 2:55 p.m. I know everyone wants to go home after a long day but here everyone is filing into the gym like they want to be here instead of at home in their beds. I didn’t even talk to half of these people, most of them i talk to out of obligation, and people I haven’t talked to in years are here. I scan the gym looking for one person in particular, so far he’s not here.

I do a once over of the upper level than over the seats and over the doors with only a few stragglers coming in who i dont even know the name of. As a tall head of hair catches my eye, Wally, i wait for him by the farthest door for him to walk in and at least acknowledge me or my death. He looks into the gym shakes his head and walks past me to the side door leading to the parking lot. He didn’t even have a look of sadness, he looked fine, unbothered even. Did i really not matter that much to him. Four years of friendship and one fight is all it took for him not to care. He acts like he didn’t even know me after all those nights at his house, at my house, our times in the diner, the nights spent doing stupid shit in a random parking lot.

Like I wasn’t the one he called when his mom or football were stressing him out, and how he didn’t even fucking like football. No one but me knew that. When Katlynn dumped him, I knew before his mom did and I was there when she found out, was he super heartbroken over it? no, but still. I was the one who was there, im the one who sat and held him when his grandma died, i spent a literal week at his house so that if he needed the comfort i was there. There is so much i did because i cared, for him, our friendship, and everything in between, just for him to turn around and not even give a shit about me. One fight is all it took, over a boy I didn’t even get to go to the damn dance with anyway, so i guess he got what he wanted.

He doesn’t care and he never did.

*

”wait so when you were talking in group about your friend”

“Yes, i was talking about Wally.” I cut her off sniffling, my eyes red rimmed.

“Damn” is all she says.

“Damn” I repeat as I play with the string of my sweater.

”im gonna go get some water. Is there anything you want me to get you? A drink, a snack, anything?” Rhonda asks with more softness then I’ve ever seen her have before. I shake my head as i give her a soft smile.

(Wally)

”Okay this thing with you and y/n is getting a little ridiculous so im going to need you to tell me why you two hate each other” Charlie says trying to get to the point.

“Ask her.” Wally replies sitting casually, his eyes giving a different story, one with more sadness then he would like to admit.

“What?” Charlie scrunches his face trying to understand.

”ask her, i only do it because she does so ask her. Once you do it would be great if you could tell me the reason as well” he vaguely responds.

“You don't hate her?” Charlie says acting like his head is going to explode.

“No, I never` could. She was my best friend.” The end of the sentence barely above a whisper its a wonder Charlie had heard.

“What do you mean ‘best friend’?” Charlie questions eager for the story.

*

As soon as we got to our cabins and put our belongings in our rooms, coach gave us the go-ahead to leave for dinner. I can hear some of my teammates talking about how we are right next to the cheerleaders' cabin. I mean, yeah, we will get to see them every night, but that doesn't mean they will talk to us. The girls from the other states might, but the ones from Split River are not likely. Some of them seem interested in us, but the rest are either genuinely uninterested or playing the I don't care game, which seems to work on quite a few of the players on our team.

We all plop down at the middle table by the line, and since the place is empty, I think we must've been let go too early. The team is starting to get chatty as the door swings open, and the cheerleaders stroll in. I can see John's face light up immediately; he starts to nudge the guys beside him, totally hyped. As the cheerleaders file in and the line gets longer because everyone is coming down to dinner, I see John sit down and act like he wasn't doing backflips a minute ago.

He turns to the nearest cheerleader and starts to talk; I can't see her, nor can I hear her, but based on the guys surrounding him, I can tell he didn't get a good response. With all the rejections he gets, you'd think he'd throw in the towel.

The line moves as the cheerleaders begin to get through the line. I can see three of my teammates get up: John, Jason, and Robert. You think they would give up after the first try, but I guess not.

I don't get why they all want to be dating someone right now. Well, I get it, but at the same time, we are going into eighth grade. My mom told me to focus on my grades and football, I will have time for everything else later; I guess they didn't get the same talk.

I can't see what is going on, but I can tell by their faces when they walk back, it definitely didn't go the greatest. "She'll like me one day, I know it." I can hear John trying to brush off the rejection. There isn't a snowball's chance in hell that the cheerleader he was just talking to is going to ever like him, especially after the rejection she just gave him. The players on the team who were focused on eating stand to leave and go back to the cabin to unpack, the players being me, and only me.

I walk to the cabin alone and in silence, it's kinda nice, to be honest. I love my teammates, but they don't leave much room for thinking. I grab my suitcase and take the nearest closet to my bunk, start with shirts and shorts, then go to the others, even though it won't matter in the end because it will all end up a jumbled mess anyway.

"Clark, everyone is required to be at the campfire spot in five minutes. The rest of your team is already down there, so just be there on time, so I don't have to get on to you about being on time and skipping the required camp activities," the coach yells from the doorway and walks away.

I hadn't realized how much time had passed while he was in the cabin. As he walks down the hill, he can see everyone by the fire pit talking to each other. He reaches the end of the concrete at the beginning of the mix of dirt and grass, he gets spotted by his teammates, and gets pulled to do whatever was the most stupid thing one of the players could think of.

*

We all got woke up by our coach yelling at us to get up because none of us woke up to the alarm. I know not everybody got a shower today. I know that all 12 of us did not shower in under ten minutes. I know for a fact that John and Robert didn't; you would think if they wanted a girlfriend, they would try to be pleasant to be around.

My mom gave me a whole talk right before I went into sixth grade. She told me what I should and shouldn't be doing, what I needed to be doing, and why. While mom told me that I don't need a girlfriend, even though I don't even think I'm allowed to have one anyway, and even though I'm not trying to impress them, it doesn't mean that I should drop good hygiene.

So when I come to camp, I always end up bringing way more than I need. We walk down the hill towards the cafeteria. I can see John split from the group, for a girl, no doubt. I keep looking ahead so I don't trip over myself. "That's the same girl he was talking to yesterday," a teammate whispered to the ones in the back.

"He doesn't give up, does he?" I whisper to the guys next to me.

"Nah, why would he? I mean that is how Lisa and Dave started dating," one of them replies. Lisa had obviously liked him before he started talking to her; she was playing hard to get, and he knew it. This girl, whoever she is, she's clearly the opposite. "Guys, we gotta go. Drills are gonna start in 30 minutes." Dave shouts.

*

As I turn away from my friend and go to head inside, I see a girl walking up. I hold the door open for her and the person behind her. "Ladies first," I say with a smile. "Thank you," she replies with a smile. I get a good look at her as she walks past, and she's beautiful. I walk in behind the two girls and go to my right, where it seems like we are supposed to go. I haven't done art here, so I really have no idea. As the two girls are walking away I walk up to the tables with the old ladies sitting at them.

"Name and last initial," she says, fiddling with her pen expectantly. "Wally C," I reply.

"Alright, I'm gonna put you on plate decorating duty." She looks at me as she sets her board down. "Plate decorating duty?" "Yep, it's on the sixth table from here. You go and make the plate look like a sports ball. It's simple once you get over there, you will know what I'm talking about," she says matter-of-factly. "ok." I turn and walk over to the bucket of sharpened pencils behind them.

I'm walking over to the table she told me to go to. I look to see where the girl I held the door open for but I can't find her. Then I look down the aisle. She's at the end of the third table in front of a big piece of paper.

I know the lady at the table told me to go to the sixth table, but I wanna get to know who this girl is. She'll never know, and this girl won't be alone anymore. I turn and walk between tables two and three. I look to see how big this paper is, and there is no way they expected her to do this by herself.

I start to walk toward her, "Hey," I try to calmly get her attention.

"Hi," she says with a surprised face.

"Is there a plan for this banner thing or..." I say as I fiddle back and forth with the pencil to settle any nerves that may come up.

"Not really, just sketching right now. If you want, you can start by drawing the other types of balls. You know how to draw a volleyball?" She asks. I don't really want to look useless, but I absolutely do not.

"No, not really," I reply as I pull a seat out.

"What about a baseball?" She asks me.

"I'll give it a shot," I say to try and laugh it off.

She continues with the soccer ball. I clear my throat to get her attention. "Where are you from? I don't think I've seen you before," I questioned. "I'm from Split River," she looks up at me with her pretty eyes, "I can see the same as you". I had no idea who she was, but I most definitely wish I did.

"Really?" I reply, "What are you here for?" I quiz, "Cheer. Are you here for soccer? I saw you over there earlier," she replies as she perfects the round of the ball she's working on. "No, I'm here for football, actually," I say as I go to take a sip of my water. "What's your name?" She asks, intrigued. "Wally Clark," she looks at me for a second as recognition flashes across her face, and she nods her head. "And yours?" I ask as I erase everything I just did because it looks like a kid in kindergarten did it. "Y/n l/n".

"Nice to meet you, y/n," I smile as I look up from the paper to catch her eyes again. "Nice to meet you, Wally," she smiles back.

~

It's time for cleanup after our art 'class'. I don't think we did too bad and by we I mean she did most of the work. All I did was a baseball and she still sat and showed me where to put the lines. I did start a second one but it's really just a circle.

I got the erasers and put them where they go, all the way across the room, next to table six, also the table I was supposed to be at. I look over, and all they have to do is paint the plate one color and add lines. That definitely would have been easier than whatever over there is, but y/n’s over there, so I'm okay with that.

I walk back over to table three. "I wonder if they'll let us roll it up this year," y/n says, making sure the paper is perfect. "What do you mean?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. "Every year, they leave the banner on the table knowing we still have meals in here, and every year, someone gets food on it, and then the people who work on it have to find a way to cover it up. I don't get how because no one sits here, but it still happens. I don't see why they don't just roll it up," she gives in response.

I know exactly who, and it is never an accident. Every year, the football team does it; they call it a team tradition. I never said anything because I never knew how much time and effort it took to make them, I didn't care either. I definitely do now.

"All cleaned up over here?" some lady says in passing. "yep, are we gonna roll it up this year, so food doesn't get on it again?" she ask the women. "no, we will just make sure no one sits there," she says as she smiles and turns away to keep walking. "great," I can hear the sarcasm lacing her words, "be ready to fix a mess tomorrow." she continued as she turns to look at me.

"Everyone is dismissed for today. You guys have an hour until dinner," one of the adults shouted.

}*{

As the team and I are walking, coach blows his whistle and stands about 10 feet away from us all, waiting."Guys, I just want to remind you, like I do every year, that they held art in this building. The banner they're making is on the table, and we do not want any food on it, so do not sit there or around it. Got it?" he finishes. "Yes, coach" is the response he gets from the team.

As we enter the line from the door, I glance over to my left at some kids who already have their food—sloppy joes. That's exactly the kind of meal we want today: the messiest and easiest one to 'accidentally' get on the banner. Maybe they won't make any trouble and leave it alone, but I've known these guys way too long to know that isn't gonna happen. I look at all of the guys in front of me, and I see them looking at it, conspiring amongst themselves. They will not lay a finger on that banner if I can help it.

As the line comes to an end, all of the guys start to walk next to the table with the banner on the end of it. I start to pick up my pace, so I can make it to the banner before they do. I look at John, who's leading the group, as I catch up just next to the banner, and I push through our other teammates. John goes to get sauce on his finger.

"John, let's leave the banner alone," I say as I push back his wrist from his plate. "What?" Shock is covering his face. "Don't touch the banner. They worked hard on that." I reply, remembering the three and a half hours of work that took y/n. I can't really take any credit for it. All I did was a baseball. "Yeah? Why the hell do you care, Clark?" he said, taking a step closer as people started to look.

"Because it's rude. They spent a lot of time on this and hard work, then you decide you're bored, so you go and make someone else miserable. Leave it alone and find something else to do that's needed and helpful, like showering." I snap at him. I have never done anything like this, especially in the middle of a pretty crowded room. I do feel a little bad about what I just said, but it's too late now.

A hum of laughter is now present, all attention on us. All our teammates and friends have stepped back, leaving John and me to have room around us. Anger starts to swell in John's eyes as he looks at me, "It's none of your business what I do," he raises his voice. "Maybe, but when you are going out of your way to hurt people who I doubt you even know or would care to. And make not only yourself but our entire team look like assholes, including me. It becomes my business," I reply as calmly as I can with my voice rising slightly against my will.

The room has now gone silent, everyone staring, some have stood up to see better. Food long forgotten and sat down somewhere, or handed off to a closeby teammate. John's face grows increasingly red as he balls his fists. I stare back at him, and he blinks slowly before throwing a left hook toward my jaw. I groan and stumble back, clutching my jaw in pain.

"WALLY!" I hear someone yell in the distance. I squint my eyes open as I hold the table. Our coach grabbed John and pulled him toward the other end of the table and told him to take a seat. I pull a seat out and sit down. I feel a pair of hands touch my shoulders. "Are you okay?" I don't bother looking who it is, I just nod in response. The nurse walks in and starts to examine me. "Let's go to the office," he says with a sympathetic smile.

*

Sitting in the nurses office for the last two and a half hours has not been fun. As happy as i am that nothing got on the banner, my stomach is not happy, I sacrificed my dinner for it. I lay here with an ice pack to my lip waiting for the nurse to give me the go ahead to leave. I’ve been in here plenty of times in the last three years I’ve been coming here, at least once every summer if not more, but never on the first day. I hear a knock on the door in the distance and voices. My thoughts get cut short as soon as my door glides open.

"Wally, you have a visitor." he moves to the side letting whoever it is in. I move to sit up, confused, holding the icepack to my lip tighter. Y/n slowly walks in. "Hey, how are you feeling?" She says softness in her voice. "Better," I say as I set the icepack down.

"What are you doing here?" I ask with an unavoidable small smile appearing on my lips. "Came to see how you were doing. I also brought donuts, I figured since you didn't really get the chance to eat dinner." She explained extending the donuts to me.

"Which one?" I ask, looking at her pushing up on my arms to sit straighter. "Whichever one you want," she says, still leaving an option. "There are two of them, one is for you, which one do you want?" I fiddle with the paper on the examination table absent-mindedly, knowing that im going to take the jelly one because she doesn’t like it, its never been my favorite but I think I can deal with it if it will make her happy. "It's whichever one you want, Wally. You're the one who got punched. I think you should get whichever donut you want." She says rolling her eyes as they smile on her face says otherwise.

"You don't like jelly, so that one," I comment as I take the jelly one off the napkin, happy to finally have a bite to eat. "Alright. Wait, how did you know I don't like jelly?" She immediately scrunches her face with skepticism. "You told me," I remind her as I take a bite. "I did?" I can tell she is trying to remember but it isn’t working too well. I don't care for it much either, but I think I can get used to it.

"Yeah, when we were working on the banner. You said that you liked peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but that's weird because you don't like peanut butter or jelly otherwise," I recall of the interaction from earlier. "Hmm, speaking of the banner, would you like to tell me how you scored a punch to the face?" She says taking a seat next to me.

"Well, if I'm being honest, every year that banner gets messed up, it is because of the team, my team. They consider it a tradition. I never participated, but I never cared enough to stop it either." My shoulders dip slightly, regret seeping in. "After today, I saw how it was actually made and how much time it actually took. So when you mentioned it getting ruined every year, after I noticed. I saw him going to do that. I couldn't let him ruin your hard work, not this year. Let's just say he wasn't a big fan of that. Y/n, I am so sorry for not saying anything sooner, for not stopping them from doing that. I know they did it badly on the one from last year. I know, now, how hard it is to do. Every year, it always still ended up looking amazing, not that that's a good excuse. I'm sorry, I understand if you want to leave." I stop talking, waiting for a response as silence takes over.

"Apology accepted. Don't give me all the credit, you did help, and not that it made it okay, they did that last year, if it helps, I did do reading last year." She pats my shoulder. I feel the weight come off as my face breaks into a smile.

"Wally, you're free to leave if you would like. Just make sure to keep the ice pack on your mouth until the bonfire," the nurse pops his head in to say. I nod and hop off the table.

*

I have been sitting here for the last thirty minutes. I’m definitely being iced out by the team. I hear a soda pop by the coolers, snapping my head to the sound. I see y/n as she turns I try to pretend I wasn’t looking hoping she didn’t notice.

"Hey," I hear as I’ll look up to her walking closer, "am I allowed to be over here, or are you on some sort of probation?" She says with that smile. "No, you're good. I was told ‘good job’ by coach." I pat next to me on the log for her to sit. She does but not close enough to be touching. "Shouldn't you be with your team then?" She questions skeptically. "I would, but they're all kinda mad at me right now." I admit picking bark off the log. "Why?" she says quickly.

I sigh, "Well, after today's incident, the coach talked to me to get my side of the story. I told him what had happened, he asked if this was the first year this happened, I said no. He said 'While I am not the happiest that this has been an ongoing thing. I am proud that you told me all of this and that you stuck up for what's right' and then said he had some other things to take care of, turns out other things meant getting the entire team in trouble and I'm pretty sure everyone has to do punishment tomorrow except me." In the corner of my eye I see her look at me. "How about you? Why are you over here?" he quizzes.

"I got a drink from the table and I saw you over here, figured I'd say hi-- and my teammates, or the ones I care to talk to, are mad at me too," she admits. "And why's that?" I decide to turn more toward her. "I missed a Gaga ball game sometime today that no one told me about. Apparently, I was supposed to be there." She says the annoyance in her tone was not missed. "That's dumb," I say with a chuckle. "That's the cheer team for you," she says with a smile.

*

”and the rest was history. Inseparable.” I finished the story Charlie made sure not to miss a word of.

“Yeah, I actually love that story. But we missed the part of history that made you both or her hate you.” He states, “did anything happen before she died or like i dont know after that she may have seen.

”the fight. I wouldn’t think she was still mad about that, but it's all I can think of.” I let the admission come to light for the first time in almost three decades.

“Fight?”

*

one week before homecoming, junior year, 1982.

As I stand in our locker room listening in on everyone talking about homecoming or their dates rather, maybe I'll actually have the guts to ask y/n this year; so far I’ve chickened out everytime. I overhear a familiar name. “Say that again.” I turn to Daniel.

“Y/n is going to homecoming with Jason.” He repeats, “I guess you haven’t seen her yet today huh? He asked her this morning.” He says as he applies deodorant. Absolutely not. Jason Carr, that asshole. He won’t treat her right and knowing him he will use her just like he did with Sarah. I swear if he so much as looks at her with any intention other than a slow dance and a pg ride home i will tear him to shreds, i can feel the jealousy creep up my neck. I need to find her, talk her out of it or something.

I walk my way out of the locker room and beeline for her locker, more angry than I should be over someone who’s just my best friend. “Hey?” She says with confusion in her voice. My jaw tightening more

”Jason Carr, really? Your going to homecoming with Jason Fucking Carr.” I say as low as my voice will allow, the emotion I have bubbling.

“Yes I am. Why?” She states.

“You can’t. He’s a fucking- he’s an asshole.” I say choosing my words more wisely than I would like to.

“I can and I'm going to. He asked me and I said yes, you can’t tell me what to do Wally. It’s not like I already had a date. I’ve gone this entire time I’ve been in high school by myself. And even if you were there you had someone come with. This time I have a date who wants to go with me whether you like it or not.” She tries her voice raising slightly.

“You said ‘no one asks you anyway and you didn’t want one’. Now all the sudden the second you do it has to be with Jason Carr?’’ I say with my emotions gnawing at the back of my throat.

”Maybe they wouldn’t ask me because I'm always with you. Everyone and I mean everyone is scared shitless of you. Maybe I just want to be someone to someone, have a boyfriend, hold hands, kiss til our lips soar, or be surprised with flowers.” I hear her get choked up, but the admission is louder.

”this is my fault? You think this is my fault? If you wanted me to i could have gotten you someone, anyone else for fucks sake. Not to mention you hate flowers, they die too quickly and make a mess on your dresser.” I recall every conversation we’ve had up until now. I honestly could have gotten her on a date with someone who would go above and beyond if she asked, but she always said she wasn’t ready. If we're honest I go above and beyond whether she’s my date or not.

”Wally I don't need you to find someone for me. I am perfectly capable of doing it myself. And maybe I just needed time from you to do it.” She spit to me, the statement hitting harder than john did at camp that year over the banner, “you want time away? you got it y/n/n,” i pause swallowing the immense pain that’s crawling from my chest to my throat. I turn to her one more time, “dont let him fuck you up y/n.” I plead with myself she will listen.

*

“Then she died and I never even got to apologize. You don't even have to lecture me about it Charlie I know. I was a dick.” I admit.

”I wasn’t going to but yeah you were.” Charlie looks in my eyes reading my every thought and my body language like a book front to back. “Anything else? Doesn’t even have to be about why you two fight all the time. I can tell there is something weighing on you.” Charlie softly squeezes his shoulder.

“The day she died-“ I feel my words lodge in my throat.

*

I have just gotten back from my appointment with the doctors, in perfect health. Me and my dad walk in the door, as I shrug my jacket off, “hey ma. Guess what? Perfect health!” I shout telling her the expected news while walking toward the kitchen. I see her and her shoulders are shaking slightly and her hand is over her mouth."Mom?" I ask, grabbing her shoulders with concern.

”sit down.” She says unsteady. I obey not wanting a lecture or whatever she sees fit, ”have you talked to y/n today? Her mom just called-” She asks, her eyes watering. I didn’t have the heart to tell her we were in a rough patch, I didn't want her to worry, because we will get through it I know we will. “No mom i promise it's just a rou-“ i start trying to reassure her, standing up walking to the side of the counter. “She died Wally.” She cuts me off, the room stops, anything my mom is saying right now is blocked. “What? No, it's not true" I say as denial sets in heavy on my chest.

”it is. I am so so so sorry honey.” She confirms. My world shatters, I can feel my chest constrict itself, my vision blurs, my heart is pounding in my ears as I fall to the floor. The sobs raking through my body as my breathing becomes more rare than a four leaf clover, because the only person who had been there and cared about me and not just as a star football player was gone and she wasn’t coming back. I just sat there unable to move as the sobs stronger than a tsunami ripped my body from inside out, gutting me until there was nothing left.

*

”I didn’t leave my room for days. Except for homecoming, I didn’t want to go to that, my mom said ‘she would want you to go’” I admit still deciding if I wanted to go deeper. I’ve decided I do, I need to get this off my chest.

*

I am finally forced to go back to school today. I hate it here I can’t even walk past her locker with out feeling the walls cave in. I can hear them, the whispers, the sighs, and the gasps. I dont know what the fuck they are gasping for but i would like- i need to calm down. Ever since it happened I have been nothing but angry. I walk into my last class of the day, the homeroom classroom, “im sorry Wally. It must be so hard for you to be near the field.” I hear a girl that I’ve never talked to say. Why the fuck would i not be able to be near the field.

“Huh?” I turn to her exhaustion etched in my face.

“You know since she died over there, I mean and the fact that a football is what knocked her off balance. Tramatic.” She looks at me, “ oh my go- you didn’t know. I’m so sorry i just started rambling. And” i did listen to the rest of it i turned around and walked out with the teacher saying my name in the distance.

I walk to Daniel’s locker, since he seems to know everything I'm just gonna ask him. “What happened?” I say getting choked on my words.

“Hmm?” He turns to me.

”What happened on Tuesday?” I say a little louder “and yes I'm sure I want to know” I confirm gritting my teeth.

”Well she was standing by the athletes' bleachers and we were running our play four. The ball was thrown and our subs didn’t catch it. It was thrown pretty high; it would have been a hard catch.” He informs me as lightly as possible.

”Right or left” was all I could ask.

“Right,” he whispered. I was on the right side of the field. The ball that didn’t get caught was on the same side I would have been on had I been at practice that day. I never would have missed the catch. Had I been at practice she would have been alive. I sit myself down on the bench, head in my hands.

I also find out the sub for me that day was Jason Carr. Written on the board in red marker. He was the one that missed the catch. As he walks in from a practice I couldn’t bring myself to walk out for. “You're the one that missed.” I say anger rising in my chest. He looks at me furrowing his brows. “If you knew how to catch the fucking ball she would be here. Because we all know, had it been me who was over there -“ I can’t bring myself to finish my sentence. “you sat there and asked her to go with you to homecoming, acted like you cared then if i remember you and Lisa were very cozy at homecoming you son of a bitch.” I spit in his face as I feel a hand grab my shoulders pulling me out of the locker room.

“Go home”. I’m not, I'm going to go to my favorite place, the only one with any peace anymore.

*

As i walk the halls to the gym feeling numb, feeling almost nothing. I’ve become pretty good at that here, it's better than breaking down every second. I look inside remembering I told my mom I would go, but as I look at the set up of her memorial, I can’t bring myself to do it. The room is full of chatter and even some laughter none of its hers. It’s too much. I catch a glimpse at her picture feeling the pain come back all at once flooding my body, i continue walking straight to my car. I throw my backpack in and let it out, the tears streaming down my face. My hands coming up and hitting the wheel so hard they start to sting as my loud sobs rip from my throat and the grief rips my heart to shreds.

I pull into the familiar driveway going up to the front door to the only place I can think to go anymore, my solace. I walk up rubbing my eyes, spreading the wetness around and knocking. “He— oh Wally come here.” Mrs. L/n says pulling me in a tighter than tight hug. My sobs come back stronger and harder, “I miss her so much” my words broken and choked.

“Here go ahead, I'll make some tea if you want some.” She says with a tenderness only a mother can have. I nod at her words and walk in. I go straight to your bed grabbing your stuffed bunny you have had since you were two and hugging it to my chest while I lay in your bed sobbing just as hard as i did the night i found out.

*

”not too mention her funeral was a fucking nightmare. I stayed through the whole thing though. First there and last to leave.”

”Wow,” Charlie breathes.

”yeah” i say, puffing my chest like the redness of my eyes and nose wont give me away.

”this entire time you just wanted your best friend back.” He concludes.

”in any way she’ll have me” i let my sadness over this situation creep back. I’ve come to accept over the years how it is between us and try not to think about it much.

“I’m gonna go um- ill be back. Do you need anything?” Charlie excuses. I just shake my head.

Charlie and Rhonda meet in the gym practically running into each other. “Hey” they say in unison.

“Did you talk?” As they both walk in.

”yeah i dont really understand why she hates him so much because my goodness i was about to cry myself. I’ve never seen him cry or care that much.” Charlie talks the pace too fast for his own mouth.

”care? He didn’t care. That was the problem. She died and he sat there and hardly shed a tear. He didn’t even go to her damn memorial.” Rhonda fights.

”hardly? HARDLY? he balled like a fucking baby just fucking talking about it. I’m sure and based on the story I just heard he could have filled the ocean.” Charlie yelled, “and he didn’t go to her memorial because he couldn’t fucking handle it. If it’ll matter any to you he did go to her funeral and was first there and last gone.” He waves his hands around trying to emphasize

”He couldn’t handle it?” Rhonda's bias showing, “he didn’t even-“ she’s cut off before she can say anything else.

”he went to her house and cried. He sat in her bed and cried with her mom sitting there with him. He cared so fucking much his entire world shattered.”

“This was all a misunderstanding, oh my god.” Rhonda says to herself loud enough for Charlie to hear as a disbelieving laugh leaves her mouth.

“Hey ladybug, will you come here and help me for a sec. I need help with a craft in room 221" I look at her like she has grown two heads, why is she doing crafts right now? Also I'm still kind of upset. I know I sit in a room with Wally damn near everyday, sometimes twice a day, but i still can’t think about it. It makes me sick in a way I can’t explain. I feel everything all over again. I thought he cared, then I died and he had no care in the world. I would have done anything for him. I spent the last year of my life in love with him. “Ladybug?” Rhonda grabs my shoulder.

”yeah ill help” i stand and lead the way to the class room.

“Alright. What’s the plan for your craft.” Turn to Rhonda walking backwards into the classroom.

”We are going to do a project on the craft of fixing a broken thing and making it brand new.” She gestures to the desk with pans and papers on it. I know there is an actual name for it but I can’t remember, I'm sure yuri would know. I sit at the desk and start to sketch random things, I'm still completely clueless on what we are doing. “Alright, it shouldn't be too hard to sort it out. Please use proper communication" I look up as Rhonda’s face disappears from view behind a closing door. I hear it click twice, my face contorts in confusion. I looked at the papers hers were completely blank, that bitch. I go to open the door, hand meeting the cold metal of an unmoving door handle. It’s locked.

A ring of things falling enters my ears, clattering to the ground, my gaze shifting to the source. Wally Clark. I did not just sit and pour my soul out to her for her to lock me in a room with him. Anger rises faster than I can tame it. “What the fuck Rhonda!” I yell, ”you did not just lock me in here with this asshole!” I say my voice pitching higher

“It's for your own good. Just talk to him" I hear through the door the thick wood dampening some noise.

“I’m sorry,” he speaks.

“What?” I whip my head around.

”for trying to tell you what to do, or what I did to get you to hate me so much.” He says the eyes refusing to meet mine holding truth in them, that i choose to ignore.

“Yeah like you give a shit.” I spit I don't want to hear any of his bullshit.

“I do. I don't know what happened for you to hate me to this extent. I don't even think you hated Jessica this much. I truly want to fix it if I can, please.” He pleads, his eyes glossing.

“You can’t just play with a girl's feelings like you care about her and not expect her to be mad at you for it.” He pretends he has no idea, “for someone who was friends with me for so long you think you would have cared when i died, but no. No tears, no emotion, no reaction.” I roll my eyes so far I'm worried they’ll get stuck, turning to bang on the door once more.

”what? Didn’t care? I cared so much. I sat in my room for days and had my mom let me, I would have skipped homecoming. I sat and cried in the parking lot for an hour after school on my first day back. I had to skip your memorial because even looking at your picture was too much, i was at your house so much your mom started getting worried if I didn’t show up. I sat in your room with hoppers in my arms everyday and cried, so much so your mom told me to take him home. I slept with that stuffed bunny in my arms up until the day I died.” My eyes brimming with tears slowly letting myself turn back to him as tears stream down his face like he’s reliving it all over again, “it got so bad my mom forced me to go to therapy, I had two sessions a week for three months.” He stands in front of me chest heaving, his eyelashes clumping together.

“I blamed myself for months, had I been there at practice that day I would have caught the ball. The one year anniversary wasn’t any better. I ran past the spot where it happened and freaked. I injured my knee.” He added.

”Then you died.” I say as he nods his head at me.

“Yeah, I did. When I found out everyone that died here is stuck here I knew what that meant and Rhonda said ‘our other ghost friend said she sends condolences.’ You know how hard it was to act like I felt that way about you. I mean I spent end of sophomore year and the bit we had of junior in love with you.” He rants letting his feelings go on and on, I get caught on one sentence.

”In love with me?” I repeat back stopping him.

“Yeah, was no secret, If I’m completely honest still am. I lost multiple girlfriends over that. I didn’t care but still. I was trying to ask you to homecoming, I stopped myself multiple times actually. I thought you would say no.” He admitted his tears were finally slowing.

”i would have said yes. I wished that you would actually. I settled when Jason asked me. I figured I shouldn’t wait on you forever.” I bite back a smile wiping the tears I just noticed had fallen from my eyes. He laughs at the ridiculousness of it all, his shoulders shaking.

“Damn. I could have had a girlfriend.” Shakes his head.

“You had multiple” I pretend to count my fingers.

”None of them were who I truly wanted to be with.” He looks into my eyes. His hand comes up to my cheek.

”better late than never.” I smile at him, he pulls my face towards his. Our lips pausing before fully coming together, heat filling my cheeks as his calloused fingers hold me in place. I feel his strong arm wrap around my waist pulling me closer as I feel his tongue graze my bottom lip. I let him in easily, getting the kiss as deep as it can go.

*

”should we make sure they didn’t kill each other again?” Charlie questions his patients running thin. Rhonda moves peeking in the window, seeing the scene play out.

“Yeah I think they fixed it.” Charlie holds a key up for the door that likely reset by now, “maybe leave it locked.” Rhonda concludes. They may have gotten the problem they have had for so long fixed not realizing they just created a brand new one. Y/n and Wally, together. The amount of pda and private couple moments they will have to deal with will be disgusting.

I woke up in Split River High School shortly after and felt nothing was wrong. If anything, I felt lighter; everyone had disappeared, not one sign of life. I made it to the parking lot before I was jerked back to the health class room. “You alright? The first time hurt quite a bit, if I remember correctly.” I hear a soft voice cut through behind me. I turn around so fast I fall against the desk behind me. “Im janet. I will be helping you get through these first couple of weeks,” she states as I continue to look at her like she's grown two heads, “it might be hard to understand at first, but you're dead,” she said with empathy in her eyes and a sad smile on her face.

“I don't believe you,” I reply, refusing the fact being laid in front of me.

}*{

She leads me down the hallway to the gym, she said i’m gonna meet the others. As we push the pressed wood open to reveal a circle of chairs in the back of the room. “What the hell, Rhonda” I hear a deep voice ring through my ears. I don't know what this girl is trying to do, but I am not going to be hanging out with these people, not only are they bad influences, but if people saw and heard it would be talk of the town ‘pastors daughter backslid’. They all hear the doors close, and all eyes snap to us. “Hello, we weren't expecting you two so soon. Have a seat,” an older, outdated man says.

“She won't believe me about being dead i figured you all could maybe help her realize,” the gir- Janet says. We sit in the chairs that are open, me next to Janet.

“That's because I'm not. If I were dead id be-” i dont get the chance to finish my sentence.

“You would be what? Walking up a staircase to the sky? Afterlife not what you thought it would be, cherrypop?” a girl with strips on her pants and a hat speaks. “Rhonda, no need to be cruel. Unfortunatly you are dead. I am sorry this may not be what you pictured or have been told. From what I heard of eariler this afternoon is true that your dad is a pastor.” The man with glasses looks at me as I nod my head, “I hope we can all help you settle in and make you as comfortable as possible. We truly care and want to help alright, Im Mr. Martin, and I was a teacher here in 1958. Now, everyone else, introduce yourselves,” he says in an expectant tone.

Even after being here for coming up on a year its still hard not to follow what my dad always said; he would have never approved of the people here. He would have said Wally was temptation in human form, Rhonda was a lie away from disgrace, and i dont even know where he would start with Charlie, i dont think he would have had much to say about Mr. Martin, and he honestly probably would have liked Janet. I try not to think of what he would say about everything because these people haven't done anything to me; if anything, they have tried to help. Charlie actually is really fun to be around and has some movies he wants to show me. He said some of them may be a shock at first, but they are really good. Rhonda, I think, has warmed up. I have come to find that her humor is just different. I haven't talked to Wally, he's one of the only ones i cant seem to get over how my dad would think of him. I never would have gone against my dad when I was alive; it seems I've done nothing but that since I've been here. It's strange, I have talked to Janet about it, she understands my point of view the most, and understands what it’s like to have a religious family. She has also opened up to me about things when she was younger and how her dad was. My dad wasn't mean like hers, but he was strict like hers. I had no other option but to follow.

Charlie said we are having a movie night tonight, and they are going to show me the movie “ The Notebook”. I have never seen it. I have heard it is sad, but dad said i wasnt allowed to watch it, so it didn't matter anyway. The couches are all laid out as Wally and Rhonda cart snacks into the room. The projector is set up and we are waiting on Janet and Charlie with drinks. I offered to help, but they said they wanted me to relax on my first movie night.

}*{

As the movie comes to a close, it is sad how he was telling the story, and she didn't remember. I know why my dad wouldn't have allowed it, I see why, but i dont guess that's a big deal anymore. As we go to clean up i can hear Rhonda and Charlie talking about something as Wally stands close by, as Janet and Mr. Martin went to put the projector up. Even though everything resets, it gives us something to do and makes us productive. “Her face when it showed the scene though it was hilarious. I dont think ive ever seen anyone that flabbergasted and i was alive in the 60’s.” her and Charlie laughed. I feel it stick to me, i dont know why but it does. I continue cleaning quick and quiet and avoid those two.

I go and sit on the bleacher even though its late. I like looking at the stars, and the quiet, it takes my brain from everywhere and brings it to a stop for a minute. “Hey,” i look down as wally walks toward me on the bleachers and sits down, “i heard what they said, dont take it to heart. i dont know what caused your reaction but im sure there was a reason.” he said as he looked into my eyes. He has a spark in his eye it looks dangerous, it burns, but its tame and controlled.

“ i dont have a problem-” he nods his head slowly to my statement, opens his mouth only to close it, “with the movie. When i was growing up we didnt do that. We didnt watch movies with stuff in them. If me or one of my siblings said a word like heck we were introuble for a week.,” i pause thinking if i was really going to talk about this. “In our family you arent allowed to wear pants that go above your knees and your sleeves arent to go above the middle of your bicep and your neckline better not go any lower than four fingers. If it does your going to hell. those rules ive been told since before i could understand the concept.” i say feeling like i have weight on my chest thats heavier than the death ive already faced. Wally listens and nods along. “Ive done those and followed everything like they were the only thing that kept me alive just for me to die and end up here, and still feel everything like i did when i was alive.” i say bringing my head to my knees.

“Yeah hate to say it but its not gonna go away. Your going to be going through puberty for decades or until you manage to cross-over.” wally says softly.

“Don't even get me started on that. I couldnt even hug or high-five a boy until i was like fifteen even then it was under strict supervision. Because ‘we can’t resist as easy’ and how our bodys are tricking us and how its disgusting,” wally furrows his brows deep in thought.

“Its not digusting, its normal. Isnt that how you and i got here?” wally says softly.

“Different, they are married they are supposed to do that. They do it so they can have kids not just for the simple act of doing. Its gross, unnatural and a disgrace otherwise. According to them.” i respond with the things ive been told my whole life, my gut twisting as i repeat them.

“Who?” He says quickly.

“My parents.” i whisper turning to look at him.

“Your parents are full of shit. Its not unnatural at all nor is it gross, its the human body. If it was supposed to be unnatural, it wouldn't just happen on its own. If it was gross im sure there wouldnt be as many people in the world as there is now would their? I mean a ghost does it its just to get rid of some energy like i said puberty for decades but that doesnt make it gross.” he replied softly with undertones of reassurance that i cant seem to accept.

“ as much as i appreciate your efforts to help and make sure im okay. I dont need this and i dont need whatever your trying to get me to put my beliefs in or what your implying. So im going to go i wont take what they said to heart and um goodnight.” i say stumbling over my words as i grab my things my dead heart ramming against my chest head spinning out of wack, i can still feel his eyes linger on me the entire walk off the field.

“Alright I figured we could all get some sunlight, burn through some energy.” mr. martin speaks as he leads us outside toward the football field. I can't help but notice wallys not here, i feel a ping in my chest did i make it awkward by telling him that the other night? My dad always said we don't talk about that stuff with any one but especially with someone of the opposite sex. Maybe i should listen to him, my dad seemed to be right about most things. “Everyone just have a seat on the bleachers in a way that feels most comfortable and we can get started.” he waves over into the distance as if getting someones attention.

Wally comes running over, hes out of breath and soaked in sweat. He has ditched his usual sweatpants for only his shorts and his shirt. I cant help my eyes doing a once over his frame, his toned legs, his lean waist, his hand moves to the bottom of his shirt pulling it up to wipe his face, showcasing his entire abdomen and the line of hair that trials down into his shorts. He runs his hands through his hair and sits down straddling the bench. I look away as fast as i put them on him. I can feel my spit get thick, my cheeks get warm, and my legs press together. It felt weird ive never done it before but im sure it wasnt good to do, its just my body tricking me. If it wasnt my body trying to trick me I wouldn't have a nagging pulse in between my legs and the evergrowing need to keep pressing them together. I feel like im being watched, like im being tested. “Okay that’s all we have to talk about, we will definitely have to see if we can figure out how to do something like that, Charlie. I think that would be fun!” mr. martin yelled loud enough to rip me from my thinking trance.

Everyone gets up to leave and go to their own little hobbies and hangouts. I stay put, there is no way I sat here and thought about Wally in a wrongful, nasty way, that's so wrong.”you alright y/n?” Wally approaches.

“Yes, I'm fine.” i say feeling the lie on my tongue. His eyes burn through me, like he’s infiltrating my mind, reading my every thought down to the filth.

“What’s got you going?” Wally asks with an amused smile playing on his lips. I swallow thickly fighting the urge to take off in a sprint. “Nothing, just chilling off the bleachers as usual,” I stumble through the sentence, “we just got done with a good soup session and now I’m just soaking in the sun.” I use every excuse I can find, grimacing at my own voice. I can hear myself when I speak and I’m as good at lieing and I am living. I’m not. I know for a fact that I sound like a nerdy church girl who can’t get her crap together.

”yeah?” Wally starts as I nod my head in response, “the same group you were hardly present for? Don’t even try and bullshit me right now, you were in like a daze the whole time. If Mr. Martin was waving a hand in front of your face I don’t even think you would have noticed.” He slides his hands through his hair before sliding them to sit on his hips looking into my eyes.

“Bullshit.” Slips through my lips before I even think about it.

“Ohhh church girl is getting teeth. I never thought I'd see the day.” He says eyes widening in amusement from my accidental slip up. “Seriously though, are you okay?” Slides next to me on the bench inches from me. I can feel the heat radiating off him, the smell of his work out present. I feel myself fall back in my trance, the same one I told him was bull shit two seconds ago. “Y/n?” I feel a hand grip my shoulder firmly, what would it be like if he did that to my hips? I shake my head to rid my thoughts and look up to his eyes.

“Hmm?” I furrow my brows together as I grip the bench below me. “I’m gonna go inside and shower okay? You gonna be alright?” He slides a smile on his face, all I could do was nod.

I chose to sit in the library, mostly because the couches in here are actually comfortable and Charlie wanted me to start reading the “Harry Potter” series, I also know not many ghosts sit in here. Im on the second book, I can’t lie its really good so far, I do have a lot of questions but Charlie said I’ll find out later.

“Harry Potter huh? Are you sure your dads not falling out of his pew or something?” I feel breath down my neck as I jump. I look over at where the sound came from to see a almost doubled over laughing Wally.

”was that necessary?” I exhale hitting Wally in the arm with my book.

“Yes it absolutely was. Holy shit that’s the hardest I’ve laughed in like thirty years.” He catches his breath walking around the couch to sit down.

“Also what does this have to do with my father” I say skepticism creeping up my voice

”wouldn’t he disapprove you reading that? It’s a school of witchcraft and wizardry. First you said bullshit, now your sitting here reading about spells and shit. I’m starting to think I need to be proud of you. You have followed the same rules since you got here that he set and told you to do because it was ‘right’” Wally leans on his elbow towards me, his bicep flexing to hold him up.

“Im starting to think he wasn’t right about everything.” I admit sickness settles it in my stomach, Wally traces the side of my face with his eyes, his interest piqued waiting on me to continue. I take a deep breath, “ever since I got here I’ve discovered nothing I’ve been taught was true. I ended up here, not where my dad always said. I followed his rules: no boys, no cussing, no party’s that didn’t start with prayer and a verse first, no specific clothing, and so much more just for him to be wrong. That movie we watched the other day was a good movie but we weren’t allowed t watch it because it was graphic. All that was really in it was the same thing ill see if I go to the bathroom and take my shirt off.” I rant anger bubbling in my chest.

I close my eyes for a brief moment, “I remember him saying the shit about if we gave in to the trick our body’s pulled we would be banned from the church and that everyone would view us as gross but I remember two people from our church who I know for a fact weren’t married and were pregnant. I mean my sister had a boyfriend for two years, I remember my dad came home one day and went to her room when Josh was there. I wasn’t allowed to hear the conversation they had but I remember dad saying tricks and resisting. I avoided anyone and everyone over that just for it all to be a fucking Ugh!” I throw the book across the room hitting the delicate pages against the drywall.

Wally looks at me for a second thinking as I sit on the couch in the same spot I stood from in rage a second ago. “Y/n its okay you feel that way. You can do what ever you want now. You may not have complete freedom but more than you did before. If you feel the ‘tricks’ you can deal with them, instead of ignoring them. You can fix it and feel better rather than sitting there squeezing your thighs together hoping it goes away.” He reassures sliding his eyes to me while he fiddles with the string of his sweatpants. My stomach is doing flips, how did he know about that? I feel a different kind of sick than I did a few minutes ago.

”you remember? Outside earlier, I will say you have a very clean once over, but your recovery needs some work. Like I said it is normal and ghosts usually need it to get energy out.” Wally recalls earlier today, my body freezes, the heartbeat I’m not even supposed to have going a million beats per minute. I can feel my breathing quicken. “Hey, hey, hey, y/n. Do you trust me?” He asks with tenderness in his voice, I nod slowly trying not to sink in to the couch or cry or run away. “Okay do you still feel that? What you were feeling today on the field.” He says as he slides himself close to me on the couch. I avoid his gaze, the disgust it probably holds, “you said you trust me, I need you to be honest with me, do you?” I nod to his question, I don’t want to make this any worse than it already is.

“Y/n look at me, “ I look at him his eyes finding mine “words. I need words” he states sternly, his voice striking me just like him using his shirt earlier. “yes” I close my eyes tight as his hand meets my jaw.

“Okay I need you to listen to me okay, I need you to let me know what you feel alright, be honest and do what I tell you. Can you do that?” He asked his eyes on me. “Mhm” i say my eyes trained on the white wall across from me. “Close your eyes and think of what makes you feel like that, what gives you the most want, imagine it even. It can be anything no one is judging you, it can be something minimal or it can be full on sex doesn’t matter as long as you get the feeling.” I can feel his eyes watching burning a hole into me. “Alright now i want you to think on that keep thinking about it and i want you to take your hand and slide it into your pants and underwear and rub light circles over yourself.” He instructed firmness seeping in his voice.

I hesitantly do as he says i feel my hand run down my body under the waistband and elastic of my bottoms down to the delicate flesh, i smooth my hand over it moving lightly over it feeling my hands ghost over myself, while i think about what it would be like if he were the one doing this, or if he were to lay me on the couch and put himself inside me, i wonder what he would feel like, what his lips would feel like. “You can add pressure if you need to, do what feels good, slide your fingers through your folds and explore yourself.” His voice speaks through my ears doing exactly as he said feeling myself, moving my fingers into my folds feeling the slick and the warmth.

“How does it feel?” He asks.

”its nice, I don’t feel anything special.” I admit.

"If you want, I can show you.” Wally offers as i open my eyes and turn to him i see the same fire from the other day again but let loose, untamed. I nod pulling my hand out, “yea.” I look at him as he moves his muscle on display, he reaches behind him pulling at the back of his shirt. I stare at him as he pulls the cotton off his body showcasing everything waist up. “Lay yourself on the couch” I move as he tells me to the cushion molding to my body, he moves my legs apart, feeling his hand slide to my thigh squeezing the flesh through my loose leggings.

his hands grab the waist of my pants gripping them in his hands pulling the down his knuckles grazing my sides letting my body feel the vibration radiating off of him. I look at his face, concentration written on it as he slides my pants of my body dropping them on the floor next to us. “Im going to touch you though these first okay? Let me know if you feel like you want to stop.” He says as I feel his big warm hands slide on my thigh heat left in its path. He moves his thumb along me, his pressure heavy, his hand delicate. He moves in circles like he had told me to. His hand feels so much better than mine, i throw my head back tugging my bottom lip between my teeth.

“Alright I’m gonna take these off and do the same thing” he slides my underwear off his eyes watchful, he slides his hand back to my pussy sliding his fingers through my folds, the rough pads of his fingers a stark contrast to my soft skin. As he rubs the circles with no layers between anymore his eyes shift to my face, i feel my teeth dig into my lower lip harder as i try and constrict unusual sounds. He tightens the circles as he slides his middle finger down feeling him sink his finger slowly into my velvet walls stretching me open, “let me hear you.” He demanded as his other hand cupped my face and lightly forced me to look at him. I let my lip go, as sounds I’ve never made before flow out of my mouth. He thrusts his finger in and out of me curling it up touching the spongy spot. He fastens his hand slowly stretching me with a second finger “fuck, Wally,” i feel spoke from the back of my throat. “That’s it, baby come on.” He says roughness edging in his voice. He keep a strict pace as i feel his fingers stretch and rub me every right way, i feel myself clench around him once, “yep, there you go. Your gonna feel a tight pull in your stomach, when you feel that I need you to let go.” I nod in response, his hand working overtime on me. I lift my head and open my eyes to look at him. His eyes are locked on what his hand is doing with his lip tucked between his teeth.

i trail my eyes down his sculpted build down to his hand back to his face. I feel his other hand press to my lower abdomen as my stomach turns into knots. “Wally, its tight. Mhm fuck” I try and speak all my throat allows is short broken sentences. Wally smirks doubling down his movement pressing harder on my stomach. The knot gets tighter and tighter as my legs tense and stomach pulls “holy shit, fuck, Wally” strings of curses leave my mouth as Wally winds me down. “That’s it, good job, there you go.” He slows his movements and pulls his hand as I open my eyes and look at him. I smile as he brings his hand to his mouth and sucks his two fingers clean.

“Feel good?” He asks, bringing his face close to mine. I nod my head quickly “better than good.” I reply, My muscles relaxing. “I have one more thing to show you okay?” The look in his eyes is nothing but fire, burning with mischief and ambition. I prop myself up on my elbows, “mhm,” i hum my eyes feeling heavier. He scoots himself back leaning himself forward onto his stomach, his face coming down in line with my pussy, his breath fanning over me hot and heavy. I feel his hands grip the front of my thighs as he moves my legs onto his shoulders. I feel his tongue slide up hitting my over sensitive bud, my hips buck up into him as I feel his wet tongue start nudging my clit. His strong arm wraps around my waist tightening pinning me in place as he mouths me, sucking, licking, flicking.

I feel him humming into me adding vibrations I don’t know if I can handle. I move my hands down lacing them into his hair, feeling the coarse strands in between my fingers, tugging at them tightly. Wally groans as he moves his mouth down, spearing his tongue in and out of my soaking pussy, his nose bumping my clit over and over again. I can feel him tighten his grip harder on my hip, while his other hand is splayed on my thigh putting heat everywhere. My back arches into him as I feel my stomach pull into the knots it was minutes ago. He fastens his pace, moaning into me like I was the one pleasuring him. As his tongue strokes the inside of me putting long strips, so carefully and masterfully he could make a whole painting like this. I feel myself clench hard around his tongue, my back arches with my hips unable to move letting the pull take over, the moans coming out of my mouth are lewd, loud, and downright dirty. “Wally! Fuck yess” i give my last words as he winds it down.

he pulls away, eye contact his eye contact unbreakable, his muscles unmissable as he sits up, his mouth glistening while he brings the back of his hand and swipes it away. He leans over me moving one of his hands to cup my face, bringing his lips to mine. I taste my own slick in his mouth as he continues to deepen it, I bring my hand up to his forearm, complying with everything he wants me to do. He pulls back just enough to fully look at my face “still think it's gross?” He asks the ghost of a smile playing on his face.

”Oh absolutely, it was disgustingly dirty.” I reply with my tone airy and the joke Evident. Wally's head falls in a chuckle, shaking his head, before pressing a light kiss to my lips as he grabs our clothes, fixing my pants and helping me put them on. He slides his shirt on, covering himself slightly more modest than a couple minutes ago “you might be slightly soar tomorrow so take it easy.” He informs me as he stands up. He slowly almost hesitantly turns to walk out “Wally,” He turns back, his eyebrows elevated, “do you want to stay here? With me?” I ask shyly like he wasn’t making me scream a minute ago. He quickly turns back around walking toward me, slotting himself right next to me in a snug, tight perfect fit. He lays his head on my chest. I can’t help but think that what my dad would have been right, what he would have thought about Wally, and the things that he thinks Wally would and probably will do should the chance come, but I don’t care what he thinks anymore.

Hey, my other computer crapped out on me so I haven’t been able to write, i finally have my new one. I know this one was longer than my other ones so lmk how you feel! Also if y’all want i did have an idea for like a part 2 if you guys wanted to see that. Again horrible at grammar so please excuse any mistakes.