trouble

“Good man,” he smiled. “And they probably taste fine. They’ll just break your teeth.”

“And my insides.” Fred sighed. “Wheat is practically poison to my body.” He put the scone down and picked up an apple instead which he began to cut into slices. “I’ll have some of this instead. Would you like a piece?”

“Why don’t you try it. Come on close your eyes.”

“Okay.” Fred did just that. “Is it still there?”

“Cardboard is a step up from tan bark, right?”

“I couldn’t say, I’ve never eaten tan bark. What’s it taste like?”

“It tastes like cardboard too,” Roxy informed him. “I don’t think they are aware gluten-free cooking doesn’t have to be flavorless.” She stared down at it with disdain before pulling some jam out of her purse. “For the sake of your tastebuds,” she said, pushing it towards him.

“Look at this!” Fred pressed his hand down onto the loaf of bread and watched as it slowly inflated again. “This is shit! Who bought this?” When his sister produced the jam from her purse, Fred didn’t even question it but grabbed a spoon instead and proceeded to shovel a large heap of the jam on his bread. “My tastebuds thank you. Still, why can’t we have nice things?”

“Protein, obviously.” Cathal said with a scoff, before he rolled his eyes, reached over and took the cookie. “Fine. Enjoy your steak. I’ll stick with my beautiful,” he said, shivering as he took a bite, almost disgusted. “Beautiful cookie.”

“Well this has protein as well and it’s much, much tastier.” Fred shoved a forkful of meat into his grinning mouth to make a point while he watched Cathal eat his own seemingly disgusting cookie. “Are you really going to finish that entire thing?”

“Just because I’m dating one of your 47, doesn’t mean I’m a cousin substitute or something, darling. And Molly’s not underage.” Cassie deadpanned, looking at him when he threw his arm around her. “James isn’t either. I mean, yeah. He’s probably busy trying to get some girl in his bed - wait, what did you say? Why?”

“Unfortunately once you start dating one of us you’re part of the team. Ask Pandora, she’s in it for life now. No way we’re ever letting that one go again.” Being from a large and close-knit family like his mean that Fred had grown up having people around him almost constantly and he’d loved every minute of it. “No she’s not but she’d probably complain even more than you. And I already drag James to everything else so now it’s your turn.” He laughed at her reaction. “A rave. You know, weird people, cool music and all that. I promise it’s going to be fun and I wont let anyone slip you any acid.”

“No, it’s biscuits my grandmother made. She’s terrible at baking, I know.”

“Yeah I’m not risking it. But tell your grandmother I appreciate the effort. No, actually, tell her they were delicious.”

“It’s a protein cookie of my own making. Don’t eat too many though, or your arse will be a Johnny Cash hit for the next two days.”

“What’s in this thing?” Fred asked, turning the cookie in his hands, eyeing it suspiciously. “Don’t worry, I’m not planning on it. I think I’ll actually stick to my steak.”

“I’ve heard if you close your eyes it makes it taste better.”

“Or maybe if I close my eyes it’ll grow legs and try to make a run for it.”

“Here hold this,” Fred ordered, shoving a large bag of popcorn onto the growing stack in Woody’s arms before reaching for a box of candied almonds. “Alright, that should do. I probably can’t eat half od all that, but hey, more for you, right? Now all I need is some cotton candy and then I’m good. You?”

Roxy stole Fred’s seat as he vacated it, not feeling a little bit sorry about it. She grabbed another piece of food from his plate. “Huh, I don’t remember anything like that,” she said. “Oh yay,” she said, rolling her eyes. “What did you want to do today? My plan was hang out with dad, but that’s not happening now.”

Instead of arguing about the seat, Fred just shrugged and hopped on the counter. “Yeah, it’s pretty blurry. I think I told her to go away. ‘t was a long night.” Instead of commenting Fred just chucked an apple slice at his sister. “I was thinking about checking if there’s an animal shelter nearby. I have decided that I want a dog, dorm rules be damned.”

She made a face at that. “Don’t you have like….47 cousins you could have brought with you to do whatever this is?”

Fred grinned and threw an arm around her, pulling her towards the lights and the music. “It’s a rave, it’ll be fun. And my 47 cousins are all either busy or underage so you’ll have to do.”

“I’m not going to incriminate you, I mean honestly, I’d probably go to prison for you, that’s why I should be your favourite cousin. Everyone knows I’m the coolest.”

“With that, you are my favourite cousin. At least this week. Next week’s unfortunately already booked for Lucy and the week after that it’s Hugo. I’m taking turns, you know, so no one feels left out.”

Alexander raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, you got me.” He said with a smirk. “I followed you all the way home, so I could beg to be let into your house and marvel at your beauty.” He said, rolling his eyes. “No, I’m kidding. I just wanted to say hello. Is that so bad?”

“Well,” Fred sighed dramatically, “at least you’re being honest about it. I hope you’re having fun marvelling.” He smirked and lightly slapped Alex’ arm. “Nah, it’s fine. You’re lucky to have caught me though, I’m going back to Ashworth tonight. Do you maybe want a jumper that’s not soaking wet, by the way?”

“I can’t tell ya or I’d have to kill ya. I just need a lookout.”

“You’re aware that I’m completely overqualified for a lookout, right? I’m much better as partner-in-crime, just sayin’“

“You’re delusional.” He said with a laugh. “You sound like you’re a hundred. You’re not even that old Fred. Get it together. Also the Weird Sisters are fab so I don’t want to hear any complaints.”

“No, I’m fun,” Fred stated matter-of-factly. “I’m almost  nineteen that’s as good as a hundred. And I’m not complaining about the Weird Sister. Do you hear me complaining. But are you sure you don’t want to hear ‘Fix You’ on a loop for the rest of this road trip, James, really sure?”