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@fallonbrownwrites
Fact #1009: A nonbinary person can be someone's boyfriend. They can be someone's girlfriend. Being nonbinary doesn't always mean that you have to use gender neutral language for yourself 100% of the time. You're allowed to use the words that feel most comfortable for you; you decide your own identity.
I’m okay with my kids calling me mom(even if I mostly refer to myself as their parent, depending on the situation), but almost all other gendered terms feel wrong to me
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you are not "inconvenient" for using pronouns other than he or she or for having a complex gender, or one other than male or female. you are just being honest about who you are, people who refuse to acknowledge you correctly are the ones being inconvenient.
Gender is just rorschach test that you have to figure out and sometimes it rotates and looks like something else and now you have to figure that out
Idk man it’s so easy to get bogged down in all the bullshit online but when my then-6 year old cousin found out I was trans he said “ok” then corrected my grandma when she misgendered me. I was once the third between a gay man and a lesbian. Two lesbians once invited me back to their place when I presented as a man. I met an AMAB nb butch who looked strikingly to outsiders like a cis man and it was one of the more sapphic experiences I’ve had. I nervously wore a boydyke shirt to pride and got 3 different cis-looking femme folks tell me they loved my shirt. I once told a trans group at a protest that any pronouns were fine for me and one person said “wow, I’m impressed and intimidated by people like that. I don’t know that I could be that chill with pronouns.” I once told a GNC friend I wished I could wear a type of “opposite” gender clothing after I had already transitioned and so it would be associated with my AGAB and he said “You could just do it.” I’ve had cishet men fight cops for me before. The first time I had a doctor ask me if my name was different than what was on my forms I had to try not to cry. Last week, a phone call with a doctor’s office where I am generally cis passing asked unprompted if my name listed is what I want to be called. It touched me then too. I told a lesbian friend once I felt like my attraction to men AND women both felt gay. She said “makes sense.” And we moved on. I go by different pronouns in different circles. I’ve had gay women love my facial hair. I’ve had gay men like my tits. It’s all out there, I promise. It can be hard to find it but I promise there is community like you and community who likes you. And it’s more messy and beautiful than tumblr discourse makes it out to be.
Not to single you out, and not to dismiss how shit small towns can be or how good leaving can be but…
I’m from a small town and my cousin and grandma still live there. The first butch I ever met was my elementary school gym teacher. My two best friends in high school and I formed our GSA over a decade ago. I once was walking through town and saw two burly men holding hands. They tensed at me staring, then I smiled and they smiled back. While I left my small town for college, I was back for summers, and worked at a little theme park. A super queer couple and their kids came up to my ride and I beamed so brightly at them and said with more enthusiasm than I’d ever mustered at customers, “have a great rest of the day.” When what I really meant was, I’m like you. I moved back to my hometown briefly, and when I told a cashier at my Walmart I liked his nail-polish, he smiled knowingly and gave me a discount. We stayed friends a while after. My aunt was a vocal member of an LGBT allies group for years before I came out. It wasn’t until I was an adult I learned she had a gay uncle who had lived with his (not legally) husband. My roommate’s even smaller hometown just had their fourth annual Pride parade and it had even more heart than any big-city pride I’ve ever been to.
It gets over-said: “it gets better” “progress is being made” but the sentiment that rings truest I think is
We’re here. We’re here we’re here we’re here, you aren’t alone.
I hope you find the community you are seeking, whether that’s where you are now or somewhere else.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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gender? oh shit- i knew i forgot something at home. oh well, it's not important anyways
"non binary people are confused" YES I AM. HOW THE FUCK DOES CHEMISTRY WORK. I CANT UNDERSTAND. WHAT THE FUCK
One of my professors told me recently “You aren’t in the drivers or passengers seat when you write a story. The characters are in the drivers seat and they’ve locked you in the trunk” and I mean he’s not wrong.
Hey trans people I just want to remind you that your experience is your own and there is no wrong way to describe it.
If you feel like you were "born in the wrong body", that's fine.
If you feel like you "used to be X gender but now you're Y gender", that's fine.
If you feel like you "were an X gender who chose to be a Y gender", that's fine.
If you feel like you've "always been Y gender", that's fine.
If you look at things with your deadname on or pre-transition photos and feel a sense of connection or recognition, that's fine.
If you look at things with your deadname on or pre-transition photos and feel like it's a completely different person, that's fine.
If you feel like you "killed the X gender you used to be", that's fine.
If you feel like "the X gender you used to be is still here but they're Y gender now", that's fine
Personally, I like to say that the little girl is still around, she just lets me do the talking now.
It's your experience and you can describe it however you choose.
official anti terf post
genderqueer does not have a set "look", you can really be anyone and be genderqueer. it can describe both how you feel on the inside, and how you present on the outside. you are not obligated to dress in a way you do not want to, as a genderqueer person, and you are not obligated to blur lines and dress in androgynous ways if it's not safe for you. there are a million ways to be genderqueer, be genderqueer in your own way, not someone else's
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i saw a reel the other day with the audio saying something like "i'm a woman the way pluto is a planet, i'm not, but i used to be, some people insist i still am and from some angles i might look like one" (and possibly more)
i can't find it anymore but as a trans mav this makes me wanna claim pluto
Had someone get snippy with me (on a queer forum, no less) for asking not to be called “bro” so
Here is your reminder that it’s okay to not like conventionally gendered terms for yourself, even if many other people consider them gender-neutral. It’s okay to politely ask someone not to call you [term]. And if someone makes that request of you, don’t be an ass. Apologize and don’t do it again. Easy as that.
TRANS PEOPLE EXISTING IS NOT A POLITCAL STATEMENT TRANS PEOPLE EXISTING IS NOT A POLITCAL STATEMENT TRANS PEOPLE EXISTING IS NOT A POLITCAL STATEMENT TRANS PEOPLE EXISTING IS NOT A POLITCAL STATEMENT TRANS PEOPLE EXISTING IS NOT A POLITCAL STATEMENT TRANS PEOPLE EXISTING IS NOT A POLITCAL STATEMENT TRANS PEOPLE EXISTING IS NOT A POLITCAL STATEMENT
being a trans writer means finding joy in living vicariously through your characters and other times it means being miffed at your own creations for giving you gender envy
misgendering someone isn't bad because "it can cause dysphoria".
misgendering someone is bad because it's fucking disrespectful.
it's not somehow less harmful to misgender someone without dysphoria than it is to misgender someone with dysphoria.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
People often complain about "how many genders there are". When you go through school, you learn that there are three states of matter. You also learn that there are two genders. Of course, this is not the reality. You may learn that plasma is a fourth state of matter, and that there are transgender or nonbinary people.
Let's take a look at the true number of states of matter...
I feel that if Bose-Einstein condensate is a valid state of matter, then girlflux is a valid label.
The real world is FAR from simple. Not even matter is binary (or quaternary).
there's no rulebook for being trans. there's no one single way someone has to do something in order to be considered trans. what is affirming to one may be deeply hurtful for another. in the same way that some nonbinary people are fine with more gendered terms while others need complete gender neutrality to feel comfortable, one trans person may insist that pre-transition them is dead and gone and was never even real, while another sees that past version as sacred and special and in need of protection and a beautiful, integral part of who they are today. one trans person will have given anything to be born cis, another couldn't be given enough money to exist any differently. one trans person will wish their deadname didn't exist anymore, another will still want to use it in certain circumstances and even resent the term "deadname."
not everyone will get surgeries.
not everyone will get hormones.
not everyone will get new clothes.
not everyone will change their name.
not everyone will want to pass.
not everyone will want pronouns on name tags or in their bios.
not everyone will fit your idea of transness.
it's okay to not know. just ask. everyone's different, and unless they're an asshole or you ask unkindly, they'll appreciate that you asked. they'll appreciate the genuine effort.
and if a trans person is opening up to you about their lived experience, and it doesn't match what you thought you knew?
don't fight them on it. don't argue. don't rephrase or recontextualize or otherwise try to cut change fit mold them into something more convenient for you.
they've had enough of people trying to push them into a box they don't fit in. transness breaks out of those boxes. don't make transness a new box to make people conform to.
just accept it and ask how you can best support them.
