Falling Indiana

Things are overwhelming. 

No one wants to buy the flat. The feedback that we’re getting from any viewings is getting worse and worse. Someone offered us £25k lower than the asking price. We are inevitably going to loose another house. The grace period of 2 weeks is one final instrument of torture. It’s allowing me to keep a glimmer of hope when I know deep down all is hopeless. Our estate agents continue to be as useless as ever. I feel like we had some momentum going when we were being proactive, but we’re started to flag and give up. We’ve already learnt that no one else is going to be proactive for us. It’s just so hard to keep positive and pushing ahead when we’ve been kicked down at every stage of the process.

I don’t feel able to continue providing emotional support for my ex. I know that what happened is truly awful and he must be suffering a lot. But I don’t want to be a part of it anymore. I’m trying to help him but I’m just getting tangled up in it all. As a result I’m still grieving heavily for a girl I didn’t even know. I feel guilty about my part in the whole thing, but I just can’t keep talking about it. But if I don’t try and support him then who else will? What if in turn he decides to take his own life too..?

I’m at loggerheads with a women at work that is just refusing to play nicely. She won’t listen to a single thing I say to her and every time I ask her to do something, she’s simply ignores my instruction and does things her own way instead. I know I need to lay down the law a little bit, but doing it over email while we’re both working from home just doesn’t seem like the right thing to do... So I have another 4 work days to get through before I have to reprimand someone, properly, for the first time. 10% of me thinks that maybe she’s not understanding what I’m asking her to do, that it’s too complicated or I’ve not explained it correctly. But the fact that she’s not once asked for help or clarification, and the fact that she ploughs ahead like she knows it all makes 90% of me think that she’s just got a problem with taking instructions from me. Could it be the age difference? A generational thing? I’m at a bit of a loss at the minute as to how this women can be so stupid and/or rude.

My life is just full of downs, downs and more downs. Where are the ups?

I’ve been in contact with someone that has tested positive for COVID19 so I’m self-isolating for 14 days. 3 days in and it’s even worse than the first lockdown. At least everyone else was in the same position as me last time. I feel like I’m all on my own this time round. 

We’ve had no luck with the house move. Our second lot of buyers pulled out. We will most likely loose another house that we’ve fallen in love with. The viewings on the flat are few and far between.

I’m so excited for this weekend. Granted, it’s not the original weekend I had planned with the ever-changing lockdown rules, but I’ve got some fantastic things planned none the less. 

Treating the people I love is just my favourite thing to do, ever! I can’t wait for J to see everything!!