fallcnjedi

The Inquisitors were personally subordinate to the Emperor’s servant - Lord Vader. Once upon a time, they were Jedi who were forced to fall to the dark side, or they fell of their own accord. Ahsoka has encountered them more than once. They were strong and they knew a lot of information that Rebellion could help.

So Ahsoka helped arrange an ambush on one of them. But she never expected to see Barris among them. It has been many years since they saw each other. The last time Barris deceived her and framed her, trying to hide her crime. If not for this, she would never have left the Order and perhaps everything would have been different. But Ahsoka hadn’t blamed Barris for this in a long time. She was a war child like Ahsoka. She was hurt by this all too.

Ahsoka walked over to Barris and gently touched her face. She didn’t feel the dark side. Barris’ eyes were not yellow.

“Can you promise that you won’t try to kill me if I let you go now?”

like many of the jedi she had known, ahsoka was someone she had believed had died when order 66 went into effect.  the others that had fallen on her blades were young, likely padawans during that purge.  it didn’t make anything alright, she hadn’t fallen quite that far, though she had fallen enough to do unspeakable things for the war-machine and democratic nightmare that was the empire.

when the orange skinned hand moved toward her face, the conditioning over the years, coupled with the circumstances of her fall itself had her instinctively flinching away before her features tightened shamefully.  the saber gash throbbed along her cheek in time with the angry beating of her heart at the reaction even as the softness of ahsoka’s touch soothed some long forgotten desires for companionship and camaraderie.  

“you of all people have nothing to fear from me; the debt i owe you is...unpayable.  though the child that wounded me may be another matter,” she finally said, tipping her head back against the support, “you may be better off just venting me out of the airlock and ridding yourself of the trouble.”  

Melancholy

In longing, you are melancholy.

You feel deeply and quietly, the feeling of yearning constant, like your own personal raincloud over your head that rains cold and collects in your heart, sometimes filling to overflow. The feeling follows you around and you push it away, but its always just a step behind; when it catches up to you, it turns your expression from a bright smile to a brief look down and your lips pulled into a kind of grimace. You bite your lip to break the look and hope no one notices. But secretly you hope someone did.

You know this feeling is a creation of your own mind but you just can't shake it, and in some ways, you don't even want to. You know in your head what you desire is doubtful, but in your heart you don't want to give it up. The feeling is close to sadness but it's deeper, more meaningful than that. It pulls at your gut in a way that could bring you close to tears with a mere thought of that which you seek. Be strong my love, your time will come.

Strengths 1. Spirituality - 76.9% 3. Intelligence - 71.4% 4. Financial Situation - 69.2%

Weaknesses 1. Humorlessness - 75% 2. Shyness - 66.7% 3. Insecurity - 53.8% 4. Pessimism - 50% 5. Temper - 50%

Dating Strengths Explained Spirituality - Your spiritual side brings you peace and balance, and keeps you grounded.  This is attractive, as you can help reinforce this quality in other people. Intelligence - Your sharp intellect is a valuable asset.  Use your intelligence wisely; avoid condescension.  Quiet, confident intelligence is very attractive. Financial Situation - You’ve got your financial situation under control, which is a very desirable quality.  Be careful to avoid people who are only interested in your money.

Dating Weaknesses Explained Humorlessness - You need to learn how to take a joke, or better yet how to tell a good one. A well-developed sense of humor is high on the list of desired traits for daters. Shyness - You know all too well the limits shyness places on you. Putting yourself out there in social situations may be difficult, but essential to your dating success. Insecurity - Your insecurity makes you doubt yourself, but you must learn to love and trust yourself if you want to succeed in dating. Pessimism - Too much cynicism can be a turn-off. Try to see the brighter side of things and people will be attracted to your positive outlook. Temper - You need to work on controlling your temper. Don't let your anger get the best of you. A calm and rational persona is important when dating.

it always surprised her, how easily a lightsaber seared through flesh.  but it was more intriguing that during the initial strike, there was no pain.  none.  and she’d continued fighting until she took a force push to knock her unconscious.  one she couldn’t block because her arm wouldn’t respond due to said lightsaber wound.  

but now, an indeterminate amount of time later, it throbbed in a vertical line of fire from beneath her right cheekbone down to just below her ribs.  but it wasn’t a new feeling, and barriss simply breathed between painful pulses, eyes remaining closed as she keeps her breathing steady, feigning sleep so she can get an idea of what her situation might be.  

her connection to the force was cut off, and when she tried to move her wrists, she found them cuffed behind her.  judging by the shape and angles pressing against her spine, she believed she was cuffed to a hull support.  the hiss of a door opening nearly made her twitch in response, but she was able to suppress the urge, eavesdropping to gauge her circumstances.

“we caught an inquisitor.  it wasn’t easy.  couple of ours are in a bad way, but we figured you’d want a run at this one.  she’s different,” a male voice said softly, “maybe you can make her talk.  i know they don’t usually—zealots and all—but i do think this one is different.  just...see for yourself.  she’s around the crates there in the back.”

the sound of feet walking her direction saw the mirialan remaining still, waiting and listening.  until something made her lift her head, in spite of the burning from her wound blue eyes landing on someone she hadn’t expected to ever see again.  

A GENTLENESS SEEPED IN HIS VOICE. Soft, sympathetic gaze glanced in her direction. He smiled, reaching out to touch her shoulders. “ Barriss. “

He knew how it was. The war was but a parasite, and they paid with their souls for the price of peace. One saw the price he himself paid all over his shoulders and back. Hidden, SHIELDED behind layers of thick robes. Nightmares of the past that were and the future that were to be haunted his nights. If such was the effect of conflict on him, as a master — what then of the padawans? 

“ There is no shame in feeling what you feel. “ He told her. “ To be frightened, to be angry — it is only natural. It makes us who we are. “ 

Obi-Wan’s smile widened slightly. “ If it’s not too much, perhaps we could meditate together, if that’s what you’d prefer. “

@fallcnjedi

the touch had barriss’ being aching with the presence of something that was usually absent; something that she denied to herself in an effort to remain unattached.  it felt almost like a betrayal, her instinctive need for more tactile contact when she worked so hard to become the ideal jedi.  

so when it was posited that she was afraid or angry, her head snapped up to stare at him in startled denial.  “i am not afraid.  or angry,” she said, her mouth speaking without first gaining permission from her mind, “i’m not, master kenobi.  i--”

her shoulders sagged slightly as her brow furrowed, head dropping back down as she breathes in slowly.  she wasn’t sure how to put what she felt into words.  it was a first for her, normally her studies made her quite verbose when she felt the need to speak her mind, but now they failed her.