unoriginal lightswitch jokes

if i dont romanticize everything i do i’ll die

Most people I know had that one movie as a kid; that one movie that they would watch over and over and over to the resigned acceptance of their parents. I’ve always thought that movie says something about a person. What was your movie?

i just saw a super preppy guy (button up, khakis, boat shoes, u know the look) go by me on a long board and i feel like those are two identities that should never intersect. they’re on opposite ends of the spectrum u can’t be a skater and a prep it just doesn’t work. his existence must be very unstable like the human equivalent of a radioactive isotope. proceed with caution

I saw a greying older man (late 40’s maybe?) in a full business suit skateboarding down the sidewalk once, not slowly either he was tearing that shit up

they came from the same wormhole… they’re not supposed to be in this reality

Fuck off Mike Love I know this is you

im convinced that waffle house is like a portal to another realm or something bc every time i eat here weird shit happens i s2g

im just sitting here and i just hear the table behind me say “if aliens come here they’ll take our water supply and replace it with gatorade just to mess with us. but not the good blue gatorade but the nasty lime one” and i mean just what the fuck