FaithIsYours

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Missing Scene, Episode: s01e05 I’ll Believe in Anything (Heated Rivalry), Hotel Sex, Porn with Feelings, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, Hand Jobs, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Canon Compliant, POV Ilya Rozanov, Top Ilya Rozanov, Bottom Shane Hollander, Smoking, Ilya Rozanov Has Feelings, No Refractory Period Summary:

Ilya could feel Shane’s heartbeat. Cradled there on Ilya’s lap, in his arms, offering Ilya all the peace and steadiness he’d almost felt slip through his fingers, his pulse was a grounding rhythm. Proof of life, of reality.

Shane was there, with him, still. He hadn’t left when Ilya told him about his family and about Russia. About his father. He’d climbed into his lap and held him, like it was easy.

So there it was: Shane wasn’t just anyone’s, anymore. No longer belonged to a world and a woman that Ilya couldn’t be.

Ilya kissed him and kissed him; how could he not? The taste of him was home.

ilya: hm. what makes you think that? (my brother in christ we have been having gay sex for close to a decade now. wtf are u on about)

shane: fuck you! you aren't gay! (you have the choice. you can be with a woman and it won't be a lie to yourself. you wouldn't be in agony every second of your life. you can live the way the world wants you to and it won't be a lie)

ilya: no, not completely (yeah, i'm attracted to men and women both, but what does it fucking matter? whether i am completely gay or not, the fact that i like men is enough to alienate me from the place that birthed me)

shane: well i think i am! completely. (i'm not perfect anymore. i've realised that i cannot be with a woman. i lie in bed with a woman and it feels like a punishment. i have to think of you to feel even the slightest pleasure despite having a girlfriend men would kill for.)

ilya: why are you telling me this? (why does your being gay or not gay matter? a label means nothing when it doesn't change the secrecy, the wrongness, the inevitability of this, of us both.)

i'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet

this is not enough.

club scene screencap redraw

you punch nazis!

Yes Sir 🫡