🌸

i know a guy who’s bought in entirely to microsoft’s ecosystem. he’s got a windows 10 computer, windows phone, uses microsoft edge, and has bing as his main search engine. he refers to looking things up on the internet as ‘binging’ it. very surreal, never met anyone else like that

that was the devil

oh this is my goldfish his name is wet little bitch

your life can look so different, so much better, in just a few months. keep going.

The bigger your shoes, the bigger the dick, the bigger your car, the smaller your dick. No wonder why people are afraid of clowns.

they didn’t know the lyrics

THE CAT SASSED HER BACK. NO I’M NOT MOMMMMM

what’s she celebrating

she got promoted, shes now top manager! 

I’m proud of her!!

shout out to the patient I called to remind to pick up their medication, whose voicemail message was “HEWWO? HEWWO?? WHO IS THIS??? WEAVE A MESSAGE” that rang out throughout the whole pharmacy, killing me instantly

Tumblr’s one true talent is making me sick of things I’ve never seen or read or heard.

Valentine’s Day is approaching 😌

tell it to go back