Royal Daughter of a Narrator

I posted this on the designated W Club forum last night with the following disclaimer. “And if it gets deleted for some reason or the narrative gets high-jacked, I’ll just move this to another platform because it’s important to me and I am not going to stop talking about it.” I proceeded to have a pleasant and open dialogue with the other members, who were supportive and receptive to hearing from my perspective which I appreciate. The thread was promptly deleted by the admins this morning, so I will be reposting it here, per my disclaimer...

*ahem*

An Open Letter To Jessy Ayala (Regarding The Black Dolls He Designs)

Let me preface this by saying that I am a huge fan of Jessy Ayala. His creations are the reason I started collecting IT dolls. They’re what drew me in, they’re what keep me here. Every time he wows me with another breathtaking girl to add to my collection I lather him with genuine and, I feel, much deserved praise. He creates the kind of dolls that I have always wanted in all my years of doll-collection, since I was a little kid even. That being said, that doesn’t make him exempt from valid criticism of his design process.

Going into collecting FR/Nu.Face dolls in the winter of 2016 with the “Reckless” collection as my introduction I immediately noticed something...off. Nadja. Stunning, beautiful, breathtaking doll. The most gorgeous Black doll that I’d ever seen. Her skin tone, her soft delicate makeup that perfectly complimented said skin tone (something I’d rarely seen on a Black doll, and had never seen on a doll that dark) her cloud of beautiful curls, her...blue eyes? Okay, an interesting choice but it worked for her, still stunning. But then her outfit. More than a little risqué, which in and of itself is not a problem at all. It became a problem when I saw the other dolls in the collection, and it rubbed me the wrong way that of all of them the Black girl was dressed the skimpiest. Like, to a ridiculous degree. Verging on a “blaxploitation/caricature” aesthetic when everyone else in the collection is “Clueless/Scream Queens”. And it kept rubbing me the wrong way, so much so that I couldn’t keep the doll because of the way she was making me feel (also that horrendous hip joint). I didn’t have anything else to dress her in at the time, and anyways the fact that I felt like I even had to (when none of the other dolls needed it)... it’s not a good feeling. But I chalked it up to some unfortunate choices made on the designer’s part, and hoped that, moving forward, things would improve...

Enter 2017, and the reveal of the La Femme and Heirloom collections. Miss Jordan Duval is...something. That hair color...was a choice. I didn’t dwell on it too much, and moved right along to Adele. Beautiful face, not quite my taste with all of the red, but I can appreciate a beauty when I see one. Anyways, I wasn’t collecting FR yet, the Nu.Face collection was what I was looking forward to, hoping there would be another incarnation of Nadja that I could add to my collection to replace “I Slay”. But no. Once again, a collection filled with other gorgeous dolls, with rich luxurious fashions, beautiful complimentary makeup, and you know, just naturally occurring hair colors. And then, Nadja. Again. Again no clothes, but at least this time she had company. But where Ayumi got softness and femininity and warmth, Nadja got bright purple lips and silver hair. And my immediate reaction was disappointment and frustration that once again the Black girl in the group was turned into this. This other, sticking out of the collection like a sore thumb. I sat back and fumed while everyone else just gushed over her, and hoped again, that the next time would be better.

The Fairytale Convention rolls around, more beautiful dolls in beautiful clothes, and looky, another Nadja. A gorgeous, amazing, breathtaking, darn near perfect (blue eyes... again) doll...but it’s a one of a kind. Okay. But then there’s a gift for everyone in attendance. This one has a drop dead gorgeous face, flawless makeup, beautiful brown eyes...and a head full of blond hair. Of course, the reasoning is that she’s “Sleeping Beauty” (à la Disney) so it checks out but... still. She didn’t have to be blond. It didn’t have to be that texture. Again, I couldn’t keep her because of that incongruous hair, and the nagging negative associations that came with it. I hoped that these themed dolls from the convention would be the most we’d see of Black dolls with blonde/white hair. But nope, here comes another in the “Faces of Adele” gift set, and another with “Dollface” Adele. Maybe Jessy just did it because he likes the look and didn’t know about the connotations attached to it. All the history that comes with that particular hair and skin combo, or the constant “underdressing” with Nadja. The over sexualization of Black women and girls that is added onto what already comes with just being female. The societal pressure, to the degree that is specifically directed at Black women, to conform to unnatural European beauty standards (lighter eyes, straighter lighter hair), and how that image ingrained itself in our media and our culture and what a hurtful reminder it is to see it everywhere. The mentality of all of it being the only way Black women are even allowed to be perceived as beautiful, when they’re altered, when they’re made into something that they can’t just be. And if that was the case, I can understand it, but also in this day and age you don’t really get to just be ignorant of what the art you make means anymore. If you look at Jessy’s other dolls, they could be real women, that is to say their hair and skin and eye color combinations can and do occur in nature, relatively often. But the Black dolls are disproportionately affected by these choices that have a lot of ingrained prejudice behind them. Are they pretty on a surface level? Yes. But there is meaning behind this. There is meaning behind how we are perceived and how people outside of our identity choose to portray us in their art forms. 

Which leads me to this year’s dolls. I again, noticed immediately that this collection, beautifully melanin rich as it was, had a very niche aesthetic. It felt very risky and experimental, which again is not a bad thing at all. What I don’t like is that these are the sculpts he chose to experiment on. The Black sculpts that people had been asking to see more of? He brings them back with grey eyes and blue lips, and fashion that has a relatively limited appeal. And now they languish with dealers and are leftover from the lottery, and there are people thinking that it’s the sculpts themselves that are the problem when no, they’re not. Jessy knowns very well how to make beautiful dolls with broad appeal no matter the sculpt. He could have made dolls with these sculpts that would have sold out immediately, and played around with other characters that could afford a little lull in sales. But to put all the risk on these sculpts, while simultaneously putting out a collection of beautiful white and brown dolls, and cranking out more for the convention and the Club dolls with not another black doll to be seen? That says a lot to me. Oh my mistake, one other Black doll. With pin straight hair and, again, blue eyes. 

All I’m saying, all I’m asking for, is that some more thought, sensitivity and respect be put into the Black dolls in FR/Nu.Face going forward, the same amount afforded to all of the other dolls. And it’s not a lot to ask for. Or, it shouldn’t be. 

I know they’re “just dolls”, just like movies are “just movies”, books are “just books”, shows are “just shows”...you see where I’m going with this. It still matters. I just needed to say this, and I hope that he sees this, hears it, takes it in. He’s the best, but things can be so much better...