❤︎(˵◝ ⩊ ◜˵マ

How did you get here?

One moment you just finished your last year college project and decided to go out for a walk for some fresh air and... what were you doing before ending up here?

No, you're not dreaming, you believe so. If countlessly slapping yourself on the face and pinch your skin as hard as you could be any indicator, you do register the pain.

Perhaps it's not enough, because you're seeing people littered the street adorned with colourful horns in different shapes and sizes — they're not human that for sure, their physical appearance is way bigger than average human's build and their skin color range from paper white to inky black. in the contrary they look like those children's drawings of how they would portray a demon character.

You stumbled backwards as you see one of them walk towards the alleway you're in, hurriedly you hide near nearby dumpster, hoping it'll not see you by any means.

There's sound of footsteps and shuffling of plastic before a metal panel being opened and then shut closed, what you could assume they're throwing away their trash, you can't help but groan at the awful smell for a while but decided it best to keep it quiet until they leave, you take a little peek behind your hiding place and watch as the figure leaves and start walking down the street and their figure disappear.

"Okay..." You need to consider your current predicament.

One, you're not dreaming. That you had confirmed, and you try to slit yourself a tiny bit with supposed nearby broken glass again for extra measurements, watching the trickling of red liquid travel across your palm from the small cut, you're still here and you feel the pain, you're very much wide awake.

You rubbed your bleeding hand lightly to your clothes, lightly winced of the familiar sting from the open wound, thankfully it'll probably need couple of hours to heal or a day since you only did a small cut on your open palm.

Two, there's these demon-like creatures roaming around the street, you can't understand any words they utter no matter how hard you try to understand them; it's all sounds gibberish in your ears.

Three…, your stomach suddenly grumbles embarrassingly, you can't help but wince at the horrid noises it made, you have forgotten to eat again when you were so focused on doing your project before, you hadn't properly taken care of yourself and body in general. Now you're in a very unknown place, filled with humanoid-like creatures as its civilians, and a very hungry stomach and desire to at least put something in your mouth to chew and swallow.

There are not many options to get foods around here as it looks like you're in a city area with lack of greenery or forest, you could try rummaging through the trash maybe… No, too dirty and there's a big possibility of sudden sickness, that and the fact you have no access to medical treatment in this unknown place if you do get sick, you're just planning your early demise doing so.

"......?"

The familiar gibberish noises makes your heart drop to the pit of your stomach, your head whipped around to the owner of the voice and given the sudden desire to jump, two of those horned creatures staring directly at you figure, one using an attire resembling a warrior with red horns, while their friend has fancy robotics limb and blue visor in the same color of their twin horns. Large black pupils staring at your smaller figure almost intensely.

Hey, there's this thing about possible alien abduction since you're pretty much very alien to them with the way they're staring at you. You could be captured, strapped to the calibration table, and dissected by curious scientists who want to study your anatomy or even worse possibly being kept as a cute little pet and stripped away from your autonomy.

You should run right? You definitely should run; you're cornered to the wall but there's an opening nearby and an empty looking street ahead. You should run, now. Your body should move or this will be the end of your life.

The two demon-like creatures finally break eye contact from you and talk to one another, glancing towards you once a while, possibly talking about their next action. One of them sighed and the other smiled, the red horned one, returns their attention to you and you can't help but flinch.

You should run. Why are you not moving. Your heart hammer loudly in your chest, static noises slowly filling your ears in internal panic.

The red horned demon's feet make noises with the aluminium can under their boots, and you immediately bolted, leaving them both in surprise as one of them seems to try and call for you.

Your body filled with fear and adrenaline as you run towards the opening street, the creatures slowly filling the once empty street and you couldn't be careless about bumping to any of them, ignoring the gasps and yelps from the strangers as couple of them got a clear look at you.

You need to run and find somewhere to hide.

End Notes:

Oh man, I didn't expect to finish this in one day??? But I'm glad I did because that mean I have more time to refine the story later, this first chapter literally "fuck it we ball" without proper planning.

I hope you guys like the introduction! if enough people show interest, I may continue the story :]

"I'm gonna fucking kill someone."

"You don't mean that."

You bury your face into the pillow, groans and curses all muffled by the soft plush pillows surrounding you.

All courtesy and love for Raph, your dear sweet Raphael had created you a makeshift nest out of every spare pillows and blankets he could get his hands on, all for you to settle into his room.

When you arrived into the lair while clutching your stomach, he immediately understood and cleaned enough space in his room to make the nest on the floor next to his bed, and it surprisingly big enough for the two of you to settle down for some sort-off sleepover.

You feel awful for coming to him in the middle of the night and gave him quite the fright when you confessed that you left your apartment, while walking all alone on the street of New York and weak, clutching your stomach in pain all through the street.

He's pretty much lightly scolded you about how dangerous it is to go out so late at night. You apologized for that and promised to inform him next time you visit.

It's 3 in the morning and you feel horrendously awful, in one way and another.

You're surprised to know he has at least a stack of painkillers hidden somewhere within his room, and even more surprised he has a heating pad ready with him—he confessed it belongs to Leo and he kept it with him since his brother would come to his room for comfort as well.

"Ya should have told Raph next time if ya in pain and need him on yer side." He lightly scolds you.

"... I'm sorry." You whine weakly.

His face twisted immediately from scowl to frown at your guiltly face, and his eyes widened in an instant when you start to lie down on your stomach with a bolster pillow under you. His hands immediately reach out to stop you, lifting you like a worried mother cat.

"No, babe. No, stop that. Don't do that— you're hurting yourself."

"Hnggnnoo..."

Whines escapes your lips as you feel his hands wrap around your body and lifting you up, settling you down to a more comfortable position within the pillow nest.

"Raapphhhhhh..." No matter how much you thrash around on the handmade nest to go back to the previous position, your cries fall into deaf ears whilst he continue to hold you down and pressing the newly heated pad to your stomach.

Sometimes you hate how he's stronger than you. "I hope you explode."

He could only chuckle and shook his head. "Yeah? How ya gonna do that to Raph?"

"First, I'm gonna—" Your body immediately jolts when another shot of a knife stabs you in the stomach, another whimper escapes your lips pathetically as you clutch your stomach in pain.

The previous empty threats are immediately forgotten by Raph as he slowly shuffles down next to you in the makeshift nest. Larger hand slips between your smaller hands, replacing them with his own.

You could only shudder as he presses a finger against your stomach, running his finger in a comforting circle and giving enough pressure on your skin, along with the previous heating pad together.

"I think I'm gonna die."

"No, you're not."

"I feel like I'm getting stabbed with one billion knives."

He snorts. "Tell me about it."

Raph holds you there in comfortable silence, cradling your body against his bigger one in comfort, minutes pass as the night carries on with your pain and its presence.

It's nice, you think, even with your suffering right now, it's nice to be held by your lover. You couldn't help but rub your face against his hard plastron, which he took notice and churrs softly in return.

You groan weakly in relief when you feel the painkillers finally kicking into your system. The pain slowly fades and you feel the side effects of the medicine start to catch up, a yawn escapes your lips and your body shuffle closer to the alligator snapping turtle besides you, pressing your face against his plastron in exhaustion.

You hear the light-hearted chuckle escape his lips and how your ear rumbles picking it up from his chest. There his head slowly settling down on top of your head, lips and snout pressing down, giving you light kisses and inhaling your scent, followed with rubbing his own scent on you. "Feeling better?"

"Mhm... Yes." You sigh in relief.

How much time has passed and what time is it in the morning? You're unsure, but you finally had enough sleep for once now after the horrendous suffering you faced not long ago. It seems he had knocked himself out, your eyes found his sleeping face, peaceful in slumber.

Seven in the morning as you peek on your phone that rest over your head, you're contemplating on getting up to reheat your heating pad yourself, but the pain on your stomach has subsided and Raph currently imprisoned you in cuddles.

You don't have a heart to wake him after you had kept him up all night taking care of you and your shenanigans. Your eyes linger over the sight of your knocked up lover and sigh softly, you could do that later.

A small rumble escapes his lips as your hand falls over his face, you can't help but grin at his mumbles about you and his worries before, all gibberish but a few you still can make up.

Another loud snore escapes his throat when your lips grace his face in a quick peck, you couldn't help but huffed a laugh.

Pressing another kiss on the bridge of his snout before you settle down into the makeshift nest once more, your head fell against his muscular limb as you shuffle to a more comfortable position next to him.

The surroundings are filled with the sound of a satisfying crunch. He hissed softly under his breath as his hands flexed and clenched almost automatically like a natural second movement — not by his own.

His visions are blurry, yellow in colours — that realization makes his heart hammer, whilst he takes around his surroundings, empty streets and destroyed buildings; devoured by the fire and destruction around them, and he could hear distant screaming from civilians.

The familiar voice of one of his brothers caught him as they called his name, his gaze finally focused on the group in front of him, his brothers and his human friends. Standing far away from the place he stood, but enough for him to read and see their expressions; fear and horror adorned their faces.

His eyes can't help but try to catch sight of one particular person in frantic matters, but they're not there with them. Though their gaze caught his attention as they don't look towards him and rather down upon his feets — he tries to follow their stares and his eyes fall down underneath him and his body immediately stilled.

You.

Raph's own hands tears your body apart, skin to bones within, claws digging the skin apart to reveal the inner guts, head cracked in half with your mouth agape spilling horrendous amount of blood. His eyes met your dead ones, boring deep to his whole being.

His breath staggers as he withdraws. The disgusting squelch filled his ears as he pulls his hands away from the inside of your body, his hands tainted with blood—your blood upon his hands. You continue to lie there motionless, and he watch your heart—your real heart beating outside your body and lying in front of him, mocking his very own existence.

It feels like being frozen in time, he couldn't look away from the sight in front of him. You're dead, died by the hands of your closest friend and lover.

Raph's calls your name, small and wavering. When he tried to reach out, his body was no longer his and he was forced to watch as the krang took control once more, screeching at the top of his lungs and growls ripping off his throat. Desperately he fought for control.

Chocking himself, digging his nails against his skin, hands, throat, head, and eyes—anything to fight for the control of his body. Yet, all he could hear are the mocking laughter surrounding him, mimicking the voices of his loved one.

They're getting louder and deafening, he could feel himself shaking, growing weak as the echoing laughter continues to devour him. He lost the battle pathetically and watches in complete horror as the krang immediately jumps you, tearing your body apart more in manic joy.

His body quakes as he watches the scene of his nightmare, even though he's present within the nightmare—he's nothing but an unwilling watcher upon his dreams.

...wake up.

wake up!!

WAKE UP!!!

Raph shrieks as his eyes finally shoot open in panic, heart hammering loudly in his chest as he struggles to breath, his eyes blurry and stings, hands clawing and digging the sheets, and for sure he's tearing them with his claws.

Someone came running from the corner of his blurry vision in a worried state before he felt a sudden familiar warmth by his side. Someone is trying to hold one of his hands despite his constant thrashing and trying to pull away, even so far even shoving them multiple times, but the person doesn't give up and managed to find themselves comfortably sat in between his legs, squeezing and holding his larger hand as they pressed themselves against his plastron.

Their breath are steady against his raging one, his body jolts and trembles as he feels their hand rubbing his own gently. He takes a deep breath, trying to regulate his breathing—following the steady breathing of the person with him.

He continues to do this for a couple of minutes until he can feel his heart start to slow down. Raph blinks and his vision slowly returns, not realizing he had cried during his panic, and unfortunately his eyes are red and dry the more he regained himself.

A headache slowly formed within his head after he calmed down and all he could do was grumbling in pain and hold his head down against his free unoccupied hand. The sting was immediate, stinging hum like an angry asian giant hornet.

"Are you okay, big guy?"

Raph cannot help but stiffen immediately hearing your voice. The last person he wanted to met after one of his horrible nightmares—a nightmare about you—he's not very enthusiastic about it.

"I—it's okay—Raph's fin— no." He groaned, it was no use lying now when you literally saw him screamed at the top of his lungs and got panic attack a moment ago and be the one to ground him back.

"... Do you want to talk about it?" You spoke gently.

"No."

Absolutely not. The idea of just recalling the memories from that nightmare would send him in a complete spiral immediately.

His hand that you held twitch anxiously and you try your best to give him as much comfort he needed, you could see he lost in the depth of his mind once more, his eyes staring at you but not completely.

Raph stares fall down upon your neck, a large wound made by him during the invasion, slowly healing but it had left a horrendous scars behind. Running across your shoulder and down to one of your hands that held his own, his past action under the Krang's influences; his fault. He can't help but feel his heart being torn out of his chest.

You gave his hand another gentle squeeze, frowning when you finally realized he was looking at your scar. "It's not your fault, Raph."

"It's my fault you got that." Raph breathes out.

Maybe it's not much of the truth, but his hands were still the one that had caused harm—to you and his family. His eyes trail once more towards your shoulder. Discolored skin, three jagged scar lines resembling giant claw marks, and he grows more guilty when he stares at them.

His hand engulfed yours so easily as you held his, it's very clear he could wrap just one hand around your neck and chokes you to dea— he blinks and shudder at the sudden unfamiliar thought.

Raph pulls his hand that you held away, internally upset with the loss of contact, but feeling the need to do so. Both of his hands fall to his side on the ripped sheets, balling them into fists.

"After everything... I don't understand why you don't see me as a monster."

You blink, brows furrowed hearing his admission. The physical scars have healed, but you know the mental wounds is still very much present. When you reach out to him once more you see how he shrinks from your hand, and then soon found himself stays incredibly still. Not meeting your eyes as he purposely avoids them, and rather stares at the hands that inches closer to his face cautiously.

Your hands held his face, fingers gingerly grace his cheeks and lightly pulling his face down to your level, he complied without uttering words in return—like an action second in nature. Yet, there's hesitancy within his movement, a small twitch and present shudders as you have him once more, completely wrapped in your embrace.

Heads pressed together, there's no words to utter as he lets the silence carry his thoughts, his heart weeps in longing to have your presence more into his life after he had purposely avoided you, pushing you away in his complete fear of accidentally hurting you again.

Yet you persist and continue to reach out to him, even after everything, which is never his fault to begin with. To feel your hands cradling him with so much love feels so wrong, not after he had avoided it for awhile.

Now he cannot help himself being a desperate fool—finding his own hands that once digging deep within the sheets slowly wrapped around your body in return, pulling you much closer against him in attempt to feel your warmth.

You breath softly as he slowly cave in, you shuffle around to find a comfortable position as he pulls you to sit on his lap, your hands that once on his face now wrapped around his back, fingers lightly caressing his head, giving extra consideration as your fingers pressed against the scarred part of his face.

A small, almost unnoticeable churr rumbling inside him, and you watch as he presses his head on your palm, breathing your scent and closing his eyes. He soon moves forward, nestling his face against your uninjured shoulder.

"I would never see you as a monster, Raph."

"You should be." He murmurs. "I hurt you."

"That wasn't you."

"It's my hands. My arms that almost cost your life and I—" I almost killed you.

Raph doesn't dare to finish his own sentence, but you know what he was about to utter, you held him tighter as you felt his body quake under the overwhelming emotions. Despite him being physically bigger than you, right now, he feels much smaller in your embrace.

"If... it was me who the krang decided to use and I hurt you, hurt you so badly, hurt our friends and family... would you hate me?"

"What." The reaction you got almost immediate and his hands grasp both of your shoulders, pulling away from hiding from your nape. "Of course not!"

You trails lightly, "I'll not be a monster to you?"

"Never. You did absolutely no wrong, you're not in the control of the moment and the krang is using you as a vessel. It's not you and it'll never be you... oh."

You hums and he looks away once more. There was still guilt present on his face, but you could see now he's adding your words into his current jumbled mind.

"... Raph's feels silly."

You can't help now with the small smile adorning your face. "That's okay.

"The thing we faced years ago... It's completely out of all our control, it's not something we expect and prepared fully for at the time. That includes you too Raph."

His eyes finally search for yours, it makes your heart flutter inside your chestto see his emotions are now in full display without him avoiding it; the conflict, the fear, the guilt, and his longing for you mixed into one. You held his gaze as he does the same.

"... I'm so sorry."

You shook your head, hand gingerly found his once more and you intertwined your fingers with him. Raph's hand shifted slowly, wrapping his much larger hand around your smaller one in return.

"You don't have to. I'm just glad you're here with me."

A small smile slowly blooms across his face, and he finds himself leaning forward once more, pressing his forehead against yours.

"Raph's also glad you're here with him."