okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

I’m beginning to learn that ‘lesbian pervert’ is one of the most important qualities in any young aspiring maid. They’re saying that the princesses actually really like it when you steal their panties and jack off in them.

sorry sorry sorry I’ll stop reading reviews, but one variant that I find really good is when people say “this was advertised as ‘hilarious’. but I found it merely ‘amusing’. perhaps I cracked a smile. once.” because it makes me feel like a trembling jester kneeling before a displeased king, and that image kinda turns me on a little

Can you guys watch my fairy tale prince with the lamb motif and my jaded knight who sees himself as nothing more than a starving and desperate wolf while I step out for a moment? And DON'T 🫵 let them kiss.

Knightposting this princessposting that WHO IS TILLING THE FIELDS

Fun Fact! If you tap your knuckles against your knights chestplate and ask who their heart beats for, themselves or you, you can stun-lock them long enough to kiss the side of their helm without protest!

Bro, we are cooked. The knight that dogs the prince's shadow like a dark and silent wraith just knelt to press his forehead to the prince's hand. Yeah, now he's uttering a prayer whose recipient is ostensibly God but in reality is the deified version of the prince that exists only in his mind. Aaand the prince just caressed his cheek to preemptively grant him absolution. I gotta... I gotta get out of here.

Healer classes love me for the self-sufficiency granted to me by my overtuned lifesteal mechanics

as a knight i am admitting that i have it down bad for the local blacksmith. his burning hot hands, hair sticking to his forehead, and the sweat rolling off his skin. knowing the armor i wear has been molded by perfect hands. i can almost picture them touching me instead. he’s lit like the sun in the embers of his forge, and i catch myself wishing i was the steel he was hammering. i wonder how rough his fingers would be when he cradled my face. would he be gentle, or rough with me? i want to taste ash when i kiss him. i would give anything to be on that anvil instead.

this is extremely understandable

Just got a new knight! I sure hope his unwavering loyalty, mindless devotion, and tendency to kneel before me to kiss the palm of my hand before he commits atrocities in my name doesn't awaken anything in me.

dragonbornnnnn i KNOW everything in whiterun is made of wood but i PROMISE i won't set anything on fire if you let me come with you this time. i just wanna see what it's like in there. come onnnn. dragonborn you let a fucking dragon into the palace one time. how is that any better.

I am a fair maiden with a giant sword. Just putting that out there I guess. Is that anything. Does this matter, what I’m saying right now.

never get in an internet argument with a kobold fucker sent his dragon to kidnap my maiden