i’d like to pin this here.
edit: a person previously made an account to harass me earlier this month, then an ex friend joined a server im in with my closest friend atm. i denoted it as stalking because i was panicked it was the same person. i do not believe it is. i believe they are seperate groups. i still think it’s weird to join my friend’s server, but it’s not overly stalking. i apologize for my prior wording and interpretation of the situation.
i’ve started to stop associating myself with the fail/skip communities as such, this is a quick thing i wish to speak on before moving onto the actual words i have to say.
i can say with confidence i’m sorry about what i did. i can recognize the harm done and i don’t want to make this about myself, i advise everyone to support victims of this behavior, unintentionally or intentionally hurting someone like that is never okay, i never meant to let it get to the point and i never should of, even if i didn’t realize it was uncomfortable, i should take a step back and look at what i’m saying, how i present myself to others etc. people deserve to be heard out and i didn’t allow that to happen, i was more concerned on what would happen to myself. i was more concerned on what friends i would lose rather than the victim and how i hurt them, and the kind of effects i had on them mentally with my actions. i only was thinking about myself and not considering others.
and to my ex best friend, i know i sent you money based items in a game you enjoy because i was unhealthily coping and subconsciously thought it’d make you come back instead of leaving you alone. what i did was a method of feeling better about myself rather than respecting your boundaries and wish not to be friends with me anymore. this is something i should of had more self control over. i should have known better as to respect your boundaries, even during a mental health episode doesn’t excuse the fact that i blatantly broke them and probably made you uncomfortable and disconcerted as well.
no longer am i interacting with 16- unless in publically joinable servers or spaces. this is a boundary to set to ensure this kind of thing doesn’t happen again. and even then, i’m attempting to tone down my behavior and be more conscious in what i’m saying
these however, are all just words and don’t make an impact unless if i don’t try to fix my actions. this isn’t just because of the fact the person i hurt had joined that server, though it’s a reason for me making this post. i’ve been thinking back on my behaviors and realized i’ve always revolved everything about myself rather than taking initiative to focus on others in a way that isn’t meant to make myself feel good. i needed to be a friend, someone trustable and kind but not overly. i failed at this.
i wish the people from the fail community well, and i’d like to make this a formal goodbye for any fail related activity, i can’t keep doing this. i keep trying to come back to the community. people were hurt by my actions. i should leave them be and stop interacting with the community outright. before that happens, i want to get out my actions, not because I wish to get forgiveness, but because I want to make people aware of my actions and how i treated people, even subconsciously.
