Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
FUCKKKKKK I think I'm plural. I always thought that whatever I've been experiencing was just A Thing That Happened To Everybody.
Well let's get this over with, I'm going to tell my therapist, the shrink and I'm going to start keeping a diary. I'm about to start my last year of hs I cannot let this shit go unchecked. I was hoping it was just the CPTSD but alas, it's not. FUCK whatever dude. Here goes nothing. Can someone explain to me the system lingo rq? I just need to grab the bull by the horns and be over with this
FUCKKKKKK I think I'm plural. I always thought that whatever I've been experiencing was just A Thing That Happened To Everybody.
Well let's get this over with, I'm going to tell my therapist, the shrink and I'm going to start keeping a diary. I'm about to start my last year of hs I cannot let this shit go unchecked. I was hoping it was just the CPTSD but alas, it's not. FUCK whatever dude. Here goes nothing. Can someone explain to me the system lingo rq? I just need to grab the bull by the horns and be over with this
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i don’t care if in theraprism time is frozen or smth, i just want him to suffer. that time passes by unnoticed by bill, he still doesn't change, but everything in real time is moving, including mortals lives. bill will never see him again
edit:IT WAS 92 I KNOOOOW😭 i fucking killed the old man a year earlier
Oh yes actually about Scout's self-conscious character. Classic but gold.
Just imagine how much misunderstanding and humiliation this guy went through his life, always being forced to be better-stronger-faster-smarter, whatever. Like, always being stopped and corrected at certain behaviours because its girly, chicken and gay or whatever, being mocked for being the youngest child, not the strongest, definitely not the smartest at school... He overcompensates with his speed and this is why his taunts are twice as toxic. This guy's core confidence is as fragile as fine china.
Some people portray him as an asshole for some reason, as if he was a heartless fuckboy. Totally wrong, it's pretty evident that he's a very kind guy. Even with Ms.Pauling, he doesn't just want to fuck her, he's genuinely faithfully in love, faithful even if there's no pressure for him to be.
He's kind to his friends. He's the one of the friendliest of them. This shameful gentleness is what made me fall in love with him. Seeing his facade cracking, revealing this more or less innocent soul (not counting the killings) is what ironically would give him all the love in return for his heart overwhelmed with his own love.
If he was a little bit more mature and nit scared of people's opinions and more genuine, I believe his smile would brighten up the whole world when the sun in no more.
Oh yes actually about Scout's self-conscious character. Classic but gold.
Just imagine how much misunderstanding and humiliation this guy went through his life, always being forced to be better-stronger-faster-smarter, whatever. Like, always being stopped and corrected at certain behaviours because its girly, chicken and gay or whatever, being mocked for being the youngest child, not the strongest, definitely not the smartest at school... He overcompensates with his speed and this is why his taunts are twice as toxic. This guy's core confidence is as fragile as fine china.
Some people portray him as an asshole for some reason, as if he was a heartless fuckboy. Totally wrong, it's pretty evident that he's a very kind guy. Even with Ms.Pauling, he doesn't just want to fuck her, he's genuinely faithfully in love, faithful even if there's no pressure for him to be.
He's kind to his friends. He's the one of the friendliest of them. This shameful gentleness is what made me fall in love with him. Seeing his facade cracking, revealing this more or less innocent soul (not counting the killings) is what ironically would give him all the love in return for his heart overwhelmed with his own love.
If he was a little bit more mature and nit scared of people's opinions and more genuine, I believe his smile would brighten up the whole world when the sun in no more.
hey since you’ve posted two pieces in a row about my boy Scout I was wondering if maybe you could write more your thoughts/your hcs about him? I think he’s really interesting and I don’t often see people realize that he’s more complex that what he seems, like this man just seems very sad inside. i really like your analyses and your takes are some of my favorites
hope you have a good day!
Appreciate it! Although I probably won't say anything particularly new... Okay, let's talk about Scout!
Though he no doubt wears the persona of a confident cool guy, protecting his ego from vulnerability, I wouldn't say there's sadness inside him. More accurate would be fear.
People with sadness baggage are pretty passive and quiet. And Scout's reaction is to hit, run, scare away, cling anxiously to the object of security. That's fear. He's fearful.
He doesn't think about it much, he's a pretty happy guy in the environment he's in. But if something makes him go off the rails and he starts, God forbid, thinking.....
His core fear is not living up to his place in the world. He knows there's a place for him, but for some reason he feels like people think he's not good enough to take it. Anyone better and stronger could take his place at any time. He's on bird's rights here.
Growing up with older brothers, being not good at school, being the smallest and youngest mercenary of the team, this feeling doesn't leave him ever. It's a tiresome inner struggle: "How do I make my stay secure?", "How do I become worthy?"
Falling into this cognitive trap of searching for self validation in the outside world instead of inside of himself, he was doomed to be stuck in ambivalence:
To continue to pretend, risking being exposed as an imposter, or to be sincere and inevitably endure the unbearable pain of rejection and loneliness?
He laughs and taunts and overexplains himself so much. He clings to the only thing he's better than everyone at. He overcompensates; he demands attention and tries to make himself bigger. He hates being alone as it basically feels like being actually pushed off his place in the world. He clings to people but immediately pushes them away for being too dangerously close to finding out his fears. He needs to be with everyone to know and to control what they think about him.
And it never makes him calm down anyway, since all those efforts take a lot of energy. Tiresome to be, tiresome to pretend. And the prize is nowhere near the sight.
This loop of pain will never end, unless he breaks the very core mindset of his. The answer is stepping into this fear, but he can't even think about it! It feels like death! His ego will die and it's going to feel like he's dying as a whole.
A full existential, primal fear of an child to be rejected by his parent. "Not worthy of living".
(Based on the Lise Bourbeau's model of 5 soul wounds: Abandonment)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
hey since you’ve posted two pieces in a row about my boy Scout I was wondering if maybe you could write more your thoughts/your hcs about him? I think he’s really interesting and I don’t often see people realize that he’s more complex that what he seems, like this man just seems very sad inside. i really like your analyses and your takes are some of my favorites
hope you have a good day!
Appreciate it! Although I probably won't say anything particularly new... Okay, let's talk about Scout!
Though he no doubt wears the persona of a confident cool guy, protecting his ego from vulnerability, I wouldn't say there's sadness inside him. More accurate would be fear.
People with sadness baggage are pretty passive and quiet. And Scout's reaction is to hit, run, scare away, cling anxiously to the object of security. That's fear. He's fearful.
He doesn't think about it much, he's a pretty happy guy in the environment he's in. But if something makes him go off the rails and he starts, God forbid, thinking.....
His core fear is not living up to his place in the world. He knows there's a place for him, but for some reason he feels like people think he's not good enough to take it. Anyone better and stronger could take his place at any time. He's on bird's rights here.
Growing up with older brothers, being not good at school, being the smallest and youngest mercenary of the team, this feeling doesn't leave him ever. It's a tiresome inner struggle: "How do I make my stay secure?", "How do I become worthy?"
Falling into this cognitive trap of searching for self validation in the outside world instead of inside of himself, he was doomed to be stuck in ambivalence:
To continue to pretend, risking being exposed as an imposter, or to be sincere and inevitably endure the unbearable pain of rejection and loneliness?
He laughs and taunts and overexplains himself so much. He clings to the only thing he's better than everyone at. He overcompensates; he demands attention and tries to make himself bigger. He hates being alone as it basically feels like being actually pushed off his place in the world. He clings to people but immediately pushes them away for being too dangerously close to finding out his fears. He needs to be with everyone to know and to control what they think about him.
And it never makes him calm down anyway, since all those efforts take a lot of energy. Tiresome to be, tiresome to pretend. And the prize is nowhere near the sight.
This loop of pain will never end, unless he breaks the very core mindset of his. The answer is stepping into this fear, but he can't even think about it! It feels like death! His ego will die and it's going to feel like he's dying as a whole.
A full existential, primal fear of an child to be rejected by his parent. "Not worthy of living".
(Based on the Lise Bourbeau's model of 5 soul wounds: Abandonment)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
annaxmalina
pixelskylines
areudirty
jacobvanloon
blakekathryn
