𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅

         she supposed not , the night court inner circle reminded her more of a family than a rigid hierarchy . the warmth they'd extended to her during those initial visits indicated people who valued honesty . perhaps it was her own insecurity that questions intentions , or the manner in which she was treated by the spring court ; tamlin , lucien & ianthe , all treating her like a PORCELAIN DOLL who might splinter into a million shards at any second . at least rhys' circle saw beyond the gaunt silhouette . either that or they were impeccable actors , given their high lord's flare for dramatics it wasn't that far fetched . palette dries , tongue sticks to the roof of mouth & halts any words she may attempt . head shakes instead , wanting to ensure she knows his court wouldn't feed her HOLLOW LIES . what catches her off guard is the dip in silky cadence , the softness , a vulnerability she doubted he showed many . ❝  you keep your composure well . i'd never guess .  ❞ to bare witness to another side is an honor she won't soon forget . ❝  i did horrible things , i hurt people . i now have to carry that for many — hundreds of years . will my human heart be able to bare an immortality saddled with that guilt ?  ❞

he repeated the words, as if he needed to hear it again for it to be real... and to make her hear it. gods he suspected since calanmai. he'd heard her voice and knew it. “ you're my mate. ” and his mate was in love with another male. she had died for another male. no, she was in love with fucking tamlin! the gods certainly had a wicked sense of humour. still lost in his thoughts, his smirk was bordering on a grimace. “ i'd ask you to look in my eyes and ask if i'm tricking you, but we both know you'd assume the worst of me. ” mother knows he'd given her every reason to. he could feel her nausea coil in his stomach, the distaste lingering on his tongue. or was it his? his violet gaze softened as he took her in. he'd take anything she'd give him—a second, a minute, an hour. but it wasn't enough. the bargain was a semblance of hope he clung to; one that he'd leave alone until she called for him. but things had changed now. he crooned, “ you felt it, feyre. that was no trick. i can't conjure a mating bond. though, i am flattered you think i'm that powerful. ”

         stomach stills the second he speaks words again , an oddly comforting undertone eases the frayed nerves that keep her on edge . the concepts such as mating that were intertwined in the fabric of fae history remained foreign to the girl who had been human merely days ago . what limited knowledge she did have felt rather insufficient while she faced a flurry of new sensations . naturally , she is curious . bound by the INQUISITIVE nature that'd kept her & her family alive all those years : learning to hunt being among the few learnt skills . understanding the pull toward a high lord who was not her own struck another wave of guilt into her core . ❝  i don't assume the worst of you . not anymore .  ❞ head is held high as she admits honest truth . for what he'd done under the mountain her opinions shifted , painting him in a better light . brows are furrowed , shooting him a distasteful glare , ❝  ego aside , why now ? while we were .. down there , WERE YOU AWARE of the mating bond ?  ❞ a pause , inhaling a sharp breath at the pain that thuds in chest , ❝  i can't turn my back on tamlin simply because you claim we are mates . it isn't fair .  ❞

the force of the bond striking had him stumbling backwards. it thrummed inside him, reverberating against his bones. it was pure and unyielding. what had he ever done right to deserve it? to deserve prythian's cursebreaker as his mate? frantic emotions tunnelled into him; confusion and curiosity. they were hers. she was practically shoving it down his throat. he forced in deep breaths but all he found was her sweet floral scent. she didn't know what it meant. she didn't understand the mating bond. his violet eyes never left hers. “ feyre— ” still half wild and primal, he closed the distance between them only after he felt her need to. and he fought the urge to touch her, to touch his mate. his voice was low and deep, as he whispered. “ you're my mate. ”

         somewhere nestled in mind were hazy memories , an evening stroll within the spring court's grounds where tamlin explained the garden was a mating gift from his father to his mother , another where he vaguely explained the scope of the mate bond . the subject rarely moved to psyche's forefront , though if it had , she never would've dreamed the night court high lord was her person . it crashes into her with such weight she audibly gasps . shouldn't it be tamlin ? the trials were endured to free him , along with the other fae . wasn't her determination a testament to that love ? once proximity is closed she doesn't dare breathe . he willingly stuck his neck out for her during the trials , she acknowledged it WITHOUT hesitation , but being mated along with being newly made fae ? her mind spun & nausea rolled in stomach . ❝  i can't be .  ❞ timbre barely makes its way up larynx to pass lips , fracturing beneath suffocating truth . ❝  how do i know this isn't a TRICK ? another way to get more time ? is a week every month not enough ?  ❞

         an indescribable sensation thrummed into veins , amplified further when gaze connected with his . this new body was already an overwhelming adjustment & just when she thought she had a loose grasp on the concept another unfamiliar feeling proved her wrong . breath hitches upon realisation expression that crosses his slanted features is shocked also . did that mean he felt it too ? it had to be the bargain she'd made while on the verge of succumbing to her injuries . without having the same breadth of knowledge as the other high fae , feyre felt inclined to take a step forward : inquisitive nature remained even in new form . ❝  rhys , what is it ?  ❞

heart swelling at her words, the purest devotion and loyalty. he's nuzzling her back, practically purring against her through their mental bond. it's answer enough; he knows she would. even if the thought of her in danger raises his hackles and grinds his teeth—there's primal pride resonating in his chest, for his mate. that she'd protect him as fiercely as he would her. “ i'll do everything i can to keep everything we hold dear. ” he hums, callouses caressing her hand in loving touches. rhys would do anything to steal her worry away. “ i vow it to you. ”

         a hushed sigh echoes out loud , the high lords departing in order to return to own tents & relay the information to their generals . in times like these when tensions were high , alliances were fraught , & the slightest inkling of weakness could break everything they'd built , she is thankful for that bond . a sacred place just for them . she can be wholly herself & know he'd accept it without hesitation . ❝  including yourself . do not sacrifice yourself .  ❞ she murmurs softly , the delicate sound breaching reality . feyre needed to speak it into existence to ensure he truly heard the request . ❝  your vow will mean nothing if ....  ❞

         accompanying the general to camps had been met with cautioning words ; the illyrian's weren't fond of changing their ways . the high lady simply responded with a knowing smile , determination glinting in hues just like it had during the trials . upon their arrival there was no protest when she had been ushered into the cabin , tucked away & sequestered under the guise of formalities . honeyed timbre bides her time , refraining from scolding as she catches cassian's eye . when deemed appropriate she would summon their generals , commanders & leaders , men who did not accept shifting traditions , & inform them ancient ways were no longer suitable . until then , high lady curls onto a chair with book in hand , her attention shifting when another enters the room . ❝  the table will do fine ,  ❞ gaze flickering to weathered oak in corner as she closes chosen literature . ❝  thank you , would you like to join me ?  ❞

their bond is sacred to him. he relishes in their closeness, running his fingers down the bond again in reassuring touches. “ we've survived worse. ” it's bitter on his tongue, the reminder of it. they had survived worse. before he can stop it, his primal instincts flare. he'd protect her. he'd let the whole world burn if it'd save her. “ i'd give it all, for you. ”

         she is aware of his devotion , the fierce need to protect those he cherishes the most even if the cost is too great . sylphlike digits reach across the bond to meet his & interlock lovingly , a statement in itself . ❝  i'd do the same for you .  ❞ he was the other half of her soul made tangible , she'd give everything to save him . ❝  i ...  ❞ a soft sigh exhales , ❝  — i'm afraid .. after what we've been through to get here , i can't bare the idea of loosing it all .  ❞

         psyche nuzzles against the affectionate touch , their bond had quickly become a place of solace . ❝  will we survive it ? you have given so much already , i don't want your life to be another .  ❞

         THEIR HOME , a shining jewel nestled against the winding sidra , was now blanketed in a peaceful quiet . while feyre adored the rambunctious energy that filled the space it was often a delight to ruminate in the silence . the argument earlier that evening had undoubtedly set the tone for the rest of the night , nyx was bore from rhysand & herself after all , unwavering stubbornness was very likely woven into essence . by some small miracle he hadn't mastered the art of stealth , thank the mother . ❝  fine , or able to sneak out to fly without any repercussions ?  ❞ head tilts , jaw angled toward son . despite the maternal inflection there is a softness at it's core , even more apparent in the way grey-blue eyes soften at edges . ❝  darling boy i know you would have been alright here . i didn't stay to hover , i stayed because this house is far too big to be alone in .  ❞