his life was never his own. not truly, not fully. but he knew how it would look like. what he practiced, learned and trained for. until it was taken away. taken away and he had to rethink everything : figure out what to do next from that point on. what to do. who to be. this became part of it. this second identity, this other life. sofie. everything was decided for him & now he found himself wanting something else. do something different. something that made him feel better about himself, something that changed things, something with meaning. she ended giving him that and so much more. no future here however. he would be engaged soon, he'd heard the rumors. the plans. it didn't matter what he wanted, not truly. it would shrivel away & end up as a mere wish, nothing more. gaze settled upon her for a moment, taking a deep breath while chin lift ever so little.     ❝   it doesn't really matter,   ❞      keep features neutral as he watch her, not allowing much to slip past the walls he has so neatly built. ❝   it's not up to me in the end anyways.   ❞

her life had always been half cloaked in shadows, barely marked as she'd slip past like a whisper in the dark. so it didn't matter that ophion had used her desperation to do their dirty work. she'd buried every horrible thing she'd done and the people she'd killed. she hoped that she'll get to see the good they promised. hoped that it will make up for everything. but there's something in the pit of her stomach whispers; it won't make up for anything and she won't see it. and then it didn't matter. but this mattered. this goodness that somehow found her—found them—and worked its way into her life. and she couldn't let it wither away like her hope. coward. it sits on the tip of her tongue, and she wants to say it. but she can't. knows it's not true. knows that he's truly the bravest male she's met, knows the risks he takes even now. ands gods damn him, it mattered. “ it does matter. it matters to me. ” her breath hitches. sofie inches closer, their height difference stark as she tilts her chin to keep their eyes locked. her eyes soften as she takes him in ... all of him. “ what do you want, cormac? ”

he should walk away. for all his bravado, it'd be the safest thing to do. would be the reasonable thing to do. walk away & all of this would become nothing but a faint memory one day, something he would forget as the years passed. and he knows, had it been anyone else . . . he would have walked without second guessing it. sofie however, she somehow made it under his skin, effortlessly so. how, or even when, he had no idea. it's not like he made it a habit to help, to comfort, to think about any except himself. reputation of being cold & he quite liked it that way, made most things a little easier. twitch of his jaw and hands flex at his sides : gaze settled upon her for quite a few moments. yes. only the three letters, the one single word. it shouldn't be this hard.     ❝   what do you want me to do, sofie ?   ❞ comes out a sigh after a while, slight shrug of shoulder.

there is always too much time between seeing her & he wished there was a way for them to stay together, longer than just a few hours, every other month. if they were even that lucky. felt like an eternity between seeing her : like days blend together and the only time he was alive, the only time he was truly awake, were these moments with his mate. smile quirk at the corner of lips when nose nudge against his & there is simple adoration as he watch her : it's hard not to. holding her close, the scent of home, the warmth of her touch. something he is always missing. can never get enough of this, of her. eyes flutter closed as she kiss him again, leaning more into her & arms tighten a fraction around her and it's a thing he doesn't want to end. hand drift up and cradle side of her neck, thumb brush across her cheek.     ❝   until morning.   ❞      which isn't long, already a little after midnight when they had arrived. still, it's better than nothing at all.

a smile form upon features, seeing him lounging on the couch. relaxed, content. it's something she never thought she would see upon him. always some tension upon his features & now there isn't, not when around her. seeing him like this, it has easily become one of her favorites. walking across the floor before crawling ontop of him like it's the most natural thing in the world : content as she slant herself onto him, nuzzling into the cook of his neck. tip of her nose brushing against pulsepoint, breathing him in as hands tuck in to her body & fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.     ❝   good evening.   ❞      low murmur, lips ghost against him when speaking, smile growing a bit. just enjoying being close. loving every second of it.

@literare gets a random starter!

he was around before too, but she had never sought him out when visiting. she had never made contact & while she had been the one to offer a place for him here in velaris, she had never moved past that. until now. when the barrier between them cracked, shattered at her feet. took some time to sweap them away so she wouldn't cut herself on the sharp pieces : figuring out how to accept it. because she never wanted to hurt him. none of this was to harm him. but she needed to be a version of herself that could . . . accept it. truly. because once she lept across the shrinking distance between them & into his arms, she wanted it to be real. to be true. to be something that last. there's a soft exhale and eyes finally leave the books, pretty sure she has read the same sentance four times by now : feeling the heat of his gaze. close the book in her lap as she straighten up some & there's hint of a smile forming, slight shake of her head.     ❝   not interrupting at all.   ❞      a fondness growing, rather like spending time with him. having him around more and more, it became second nature. easy as breathing. gaze slowly trail across him, fabric of his shirt stretching across arms when crossed over chest & perhaps eyes linger a little too long before finding his. smile grows a bit, head tilting to the side & voice is teasing as she speak. ❝   are coming inside, or are you fond of the doorway ?   ❞ tho, there is something to be said about how he looks like this. more relaxed, happier in a way.