forget stardust, you are iron.

Her heart is so big that every time it beats,

B A D  D R E A M S  in the night

“Hopefully so” Robb did think the old man could have gotten close to finding his beloved daughter, he looked like the kind of person who would do that. The kind of person who fights, kicks and screams before ever letting walk over the ones he loves.“Hey…” he said placing one hand on her shoulder “don’t say that…it’s okay to mourn him, Faelynn. It’s okay to be sad because of him being gone.” Yes, he really thought so. “Don’t do that, don’t hold it in.” Robb stopped himself afraid of the effect his reaction could have in her.

Instead of pulling away from his touch, like she might’ve if she weren't so tired or so sad, she found herself leaning into it slightly. But, for a while she didn’t reply to him and rather just let the silence take over and let the echo of his words linger in her head. Don’t hold it in. She wanted to though and it was something she wanted so desperately because she didn’t want to be weak; to let her emotions get the best of her, or worse distract her because in this world you weren’t allowed to or you might pay the ultimate price. Your life. “I hafta. There’s no time to mourn, it ain’t somethin’ I can do. I gotta be strong-- for me, for Fleet. To survive.”

You never believed in me, so I proved you wrong.

“I wouldn’t say i miss them, no.” he said shaking his head lightly, they weren’t his family or friends after all. It seemed as she was hoping he would say yes, and maybe shed a little tear or smile with melancholy but he didn’t have that for them, he liked them sure but they were practically strangers who did a lot for him. “I really hope they’re alright though…but honestly I think all that matters is whether they found each other in the end.” that was pretty much all he had to say about them being alive or not, as harsh as it might sound. At first Rob felt as if she hadn’t really said that, and he was hoping to be right. He didn’t know how to react to her confession. “that’s…i’m sorry.”

Fae wanted to say that they were probably fine but she couldn’t. She didn’t know them and in this world chances of that were unlikely. Hell, she was certain she ought to be dead by now, or even worse undead, but for some strange reason she avoided all odds. “Maybe they did.” She replied softly, but she knew that she didn’t believe in the words she was saying. The world didn’t work that way anymore, where good things happened, and everyday that passed the living got outnumbered and the awful truth was they probably were dead. Just like Winston. “It’s fine,” Was it though? In this world, yes, it was the norm. “He’s not the first to die and certainly not the last. This is the world now.”

“Err—to be honest, they aren’t that nice but they’re okay, they’re good people even Marla has her moments” it took him a while to remember Faelynn didn’t know their names, he readjusted himself on his seat and cleared his throat “The daughter, she’s…complicated.” code for bitch, at least most of the time for Robb. He didn’t even utter that word, it was bad enough to be even thinking about it. “Scott, the old man…is moody more than anything, but he knows how to cook.” he sounded so apologetic, but on his defense…he was. He was truly sorry that he wouldn’t see the old man again. Hell, he even missed marla a little bit (though most of the time he didn’t care.) “I don’t know, maybe you would have liked them…i know i did.”

"Do you miss ‘em?” She asked softly, it was none of her business -- none of this was -- but she couldn’t help but let the questions fall out of her mouth. When it came to real living people she was curious; at the beginning of the outbreak they ran into people quite often but the longer they lived in this and the more they got acclimated to the current state of the world seeing other survivors was a rarity. The last survivor they saw before Fleet was Winston---- the very thought of him brought a wave of sadness crashing over her. “Fleet and I, we were w'th somebody else before we got ‘ere. He didn’t make it.” She surprised herself with her proclamation but maybe she just needed to say it out loud, to remind herself that it had happened; that it wasn’t just a bad dream but a reality.

          who we [  are  ]

He guessed he had been there for a long time, a good three weeks hiding in that old shithole. Robb had been caught stealing, which didn’t happen often and couldn’t happen again. “I guess it has been a few week since i got here.” he answered, keeping it casual as he would say. Actually the guy who lived here, whose name was scott and talked about his daughters every night before going to bed (or so robb presumed.), took him in. One day he went looking for supplies as he did every day and never came back. His daughter had dissipated the night before, she was the oldest of three and the only one alive. He assumed the old man had decide to off himself. Marla was nice, nice enough for him of course and he honestly didn’t think she’s dead. she got tired, like everyone and decided to take some time off of dealing with her dad, and dealing with robb probably. They didn’t really like each other, not with their clothes on…no. “You see, i’ll be leaving this place soon to…” he said nodding to himself “I think it’s the right thing to do, the old man will probably come back soon” lies.” and his daughter might come back too.” not so much of a lie.

Fae nodded, “I see.” She drawled out slowly as she continued to work the knife within her hands before letting her eyes take in her handy work. Her hand that wasn’t gripping the handle hovered above the steel letting her finger lightly graze over it deciding that she was done and it was sharp enough. “’Ere ya go.” She said suddenly holding it out for him to take and she took that time to look at him. Sure she looked at him before but you could tell a lot about someone by the way they carried themselves if you were paying enough attention; but earlier she was distracted. By the situation and her emotions from the vents that had transpired earlier that day. “What are they like? -- Ta people who live ‘ere.”

Fleet just gave her a smile, before taking a step backwards. “I'ma gather the stuff,” he then announced and finally turned around and left the room, still trying to be careful, quiet.. all that jazz. It wouldn’t be the most pleasant thing if Robb woke up now. Bumping into him, probably having to explain what’s up–– that kind of stuff could take a while, and Fleet, like that impatient and moody child he could sometimes be, just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. 

“Okay,” Fae nodded, “I’ll meet ya outside. I’m going ta move the truck, ta hide it. ” She concluded as she watched him walk away; leaving her alone in the the room thinking about how much they needed this day to run smoothly, to finally catch a break and find the supplies they needed. Most importantly gas which was hard to come by these days. A sigh escaped her lips at the thought as she turned her attention towards the bag that was left on the ground. She crouched down to pick it up and one by one pulled out the weapons to return them to where they belonged. It was only after she was done and left with an empty backpack did she finally make her own departure from the room with the bag in hand. 

somehow, despite the obvious melancholic feel to it, the girl didn’t sound sad at all. It was her southern voice, her honeyed tongued tone of voice that only calmed him down. “Well…” he said coughing once more, he tended to do that whenever he couldn’t find the answer…sometimes when he was lying “Taking the easy way out isn’t necessarily wrong.” his tone also changed, it became much more nurturing. He always had a warm voice, but this was different….it always was, it was like trying to convince a child that it’s alright to make mistakes. Truly Bob didn’t really think about it all that much, he didn’t want to. “I think we should probably talk about something else.” suddenly some kind of urge struck him, his mother would have probably smack him had he said something like that while talking to her “i’m not very good at this.”

Taking a deep breath Faelynn pushed away all the thoughts that were trying to pull her down and went back to sharpening the knife in her hands not bothering to look over at Robb as he spoke, “Probably.” She nodded in agreement but for a few moments she just let the silence consume them not bothering to offer up anything else to talk about. In fact part of her just wanted to stay in the silence but the other part; the part that feared the dark thoughts plaguing her mind had her speaking once again. “Have you been here -- in this place -- for a while?” She questioned but the answer didn’t matter much to her she just wanted to ask for the sake of asking.

She was right. He knew that he shouldn’t be doing this, but he always knew that he wouldn’t feel bad if he did. It was all about surviving, and not the school kind. It wasn’t the “oh, after five days you’ll be free!” or “after one more week you’ll finally graduate and then you’ll be free!” There was no date. No one could tell them when things would go back to semi-normal. If they would ever go back to semi-normal, that is. It was all fucked up. The world was a mess, and to survive for as long as you could, you needed to be prepared for everything. The extra weapons and the extra food–– it was all important. Even if you felt like you had enough, you didn’t. There was never enough preparing, never enough of anything that could protect you. And it was Robb’s fault for letting them in. Though, Fleet couldn’t say that out loud–– not after the man had let them stay. 

It was difficult not to see the state of unease that Fleet had been in since she had suggested they stay here and truth be told she hated that. After all everything she did was for him; to protect him. All she ever wanted was to make sure he was alright or as alright as one could be in a world ravaged by the dead who walked; a world where the smell of rotting flesh plagued the atmosphere. Whatever she could do to give him a least some momentary happiness she’d do it without hesitation. Which is why she knew they had to stay here, continuing their journey yesterday was too dangerous. Too risky. Had it just been her? Maybe but it hadn’t been just her and Fleet was too important to her to ever risk his life.

He didn’t expect much of an answer, but he didn’t expect it to make her shy away from her curiosity. “I think we should probably talk about something else.” he was starting to feel depressed, a feeling he hated more than anything. He counted all of the options on his head, there wasn’t much to talk about and normally he would be up for this topic but not tonight. Robb also noticed her posture was changing, she was getting…nervous and he didn’t mean to make her feel bad or offer her a guilt trip….no, that wasn’t his intention at all “Listen…it’s okay.” he said looking at her once again, this time his eyes examined her hair and features “You did what you had to do.”

For awhile all she could do was stare ahead, not willing to meet his gaze, and stay composed. The last thing she wanted to do was appear weak. She hardly ever allowed herself moments of true weakness and when she did it was only ever in front of Fleet or by herself. She should’ve stayed out in the truck to fully let herself feel the impacts the day had on her; to let what had happened sink in but she didn’t want to leave Fleet by himself. She was past thinking Robb was an immediate danger but she couldn’t be too safe. “Maybe--” She mumbled softly, finally breaking the silence, and turned to face him. “Maybe not. What if it’s jus’ the easy route? We still got choices, ya know, could not be pickin’ the right ones.”

It was just another sleepless night for Fleet. However, this time, it wasn’t only because he couldn’t fall asleep. It was mostly because he didn’t want to. Because falling asleep could mean that he wouldn’t wake up again–– mean that Robb would sneak in and kill both of them. And even though the man said he wouldn’t, Fleet couldn’t be 100% sure. So, instead of taking the risk, he just spent most of the night with his eyes open, silently making plans–– thinking about the morning. 

Faelynn almost rolled her eyes at his blatant attempt at ignoring her question but she wasn’t going to let this go; it didn’t feel right to steal weapons from a man who had been kind enough to let them stay. He could’ve told them to leave, in fact after the way they had treated him she expected it, but his refusal never came. The whole time he had been nothing but kind to them even when both of them had treated him in a way that didn't deserve his kindness. With that in mind she knew fully well that she wasn't going to just look the other way as he packed weapons that didn't belong to them.

He’s worth more                               than you, or I     or both of us combined

“i never meant to leave it, but my wife wanted to.” he said clearing his throat while scratching his jaw, he didn’t feel comfortable bringing up Harriet but there wasn’t any other reason. They got married right after high school and all she wanted to do was leave, he didn’t even know she had it in herself…all that hatred for the town, he knew she wanted bigger things, that the suburbs weren’t for her but she hated it. They stopped talking as soon as he moved back into new jersey. “You’re right about that, many people took even their life for granted before the outbreak.” not me, he wanted to add. “Now they just take other’s people lives for granted.”

The moment he said wife she wondered what had happened to her, was she dead? She must be if she wasn’t with him but maybe she was just lost. In her previous life she might’ve asked but instead she just mumbled an “oh” and kept any questions she had to herself. It wasn’t any of her business. “Can’t say I blame 'em.” She muttered, her hands stilling as she stopped sharpening the knife, she didn’t trust her hands to do what they were supposed to without shaking. Not when she realized she was one of those people; the people that took the lives of others for granted. The kind that would kill a living breathing person to protect herself. That was different, she had to tell herself; but was it? Sure her brother was an awful person but no one deserved to be killed. “Sometimes that’s what needs ta be done ta survive.” She found herself saying and was rather shocked to find that her voice was level, not revealing any of the pain and guilt she had felt. “S’all in the means of survival.”