and it only made him kind

Instead of pulling away from his touch, like she might’ve if she weren’t so tired or so sad, she found herself leaning into it slightly. But, for a while she didn’t reply to him and rather just let the silence take over and let the echo of his words linger in her head. Don’t hold it in. She wanted to though and it was something she wanted so desperately because she didn’t want to be weak; to let her emotions get the best of her, or worse distract her because in this world you weren’t allowed to or you might pay the ultimate price. Your life. “I hafta. There’s no time to mourn, it ain’t somethin’ I can do. I gotta be strong– for me, for Fleet. To survive.”

“That’s ridiculous, I don’t think restraining yourself from having emotions until you get too far into depression will ever help Fleet breath in peace, it won’t give you another day either.” he said, backing off and standing now by the window. It frustrated him, when people said stuff like that...and he knew that was the type of person that never understood. “Sorry.” he muttered “Shouldn’t tell you how to live your life.”

Fae wanted to say that they were probably fine but she couldn’t. She didn’t know them and in this world chances of that were unlikely. Hell, she was certain she ought to be dead by now, or even worse undead, but for some strange reason she avoided all odds. “Maybe they did.” She replied softly, but she knew that she didn’t believe in the words she was saying. The world didn’t work that way anymore, where good things happened, and everyday that passed the living got outnumbered and the awful truth was they probably were dead. Just like Winston. “It’s fine,” Was it though? In this world, yes, it was the norm. “He’s not the first to die and certainly not the last. This is the world now.”

“Hopefully so” Robb did think the old man could have gotten close to finding his beloved daughter, he looked like the kind of person who would do that. The kind of person who fights, kicks and screams before ever letting walk over the ones he loves.“Hey...” he said placing one hand on her shoulder “don’t say that...it’s okay to mourn him, Faelynn. It’s okay to be sad because of him being gone.” Yes, he really thought so. “Don’t do that, don’t hold it in.” Robb stopped himself afraid of the effect his reaction could have in her.

“Yeah, so do I,” Fleet admitted, looking at the other, for a moment letting the silence take over as he wondered what else he could say. But he couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t sound at least slightly passive-aggressive, so eventually he decided to just give up and focused instead on what Robb was telling him. Fleet had to admit, it made him sorta curious. Not in the “I gotta know everything about you” way, but curious, definitely. It made him wonder.. how long had the man been hiding here? Had he always been alone? How did he find this place? After taking another sip of the almost-coffee and frowning at the taste, he nodded his head and finally spoke.

Robb stared back at the boy, sipping out of the cup and smiling. He had the terrible habit of smiling whenever he was awkward (or all of the time really). Now three weeks were a long time, that was laughable and sad but truth. For Robb it was clearly the best option, if he was ever going to die he would do it cleaning up the mess. He would die in his hometown. He would die finding, or trying to find Harriet. He go back to his dead parents. No sadness there, he thought  “I’ve thinking of going back to Cherry hill for a while now.” he replied, ignoring whether the boy knew what he was talking about or not. “New jersey...I don’t think there’s any survivors but it’s no different from the other cities.”

Fae nodded, “I see.” She drawled out slowly as she continued to work the knife within her hands before letting her eyes take in her handy work. Her hand that wasn’t gripping the handle hovered above the steel letting her finger lightly graze over it deciding that she was done and it was sharp enough. “’Ere ya go.” She said suddenly holding it out for him to take and she took that time to look at him. Sure she looked at him before but you could tell a lot about someone by the way they carried themselves if you were paying enough attention; but earlier she was distracted. By the situation and her emotions from the vents that had transpired earlier that day. “What are they like? – Ta people who live ‘ere.”

“Err---to be honest, they aren’t that nice but they’re okay, they’re good people even Marla has her moments” it took him a while to remember Faelynn didn’t know their names, he readjusted himself on his seat and cleared his throat “The daughter, she’s...complicated.” code for bitch, at least most of the time for Robb. He didn’t even utter that word, it was bad enough to be even thinking about it. “Scott, the old man...is moody more than anything, but he knows how to cook.” he sounded so apologetic, but on his defense...he was. He was truly sorry that he wouldn’t see the old man again. Hell, he even missed marla a little bit (though most of the time he didn’t care.) “I don’t know, maybe you would have liked them...i know i did.”

Taking a deep breath Faelynn pushed away all the thoughts that were trying to pull her down and went back to sharpening the knife in her hands not bothering to look over at Robb as he spoke, “Probably.” She nodded in agreement but for a few moments she just let the silence consume them not bothering to offer up anything else to talk about. In fact part of her just wanted to stay in the silence but the other part; the part that feared the dark thoughts plaguing her mind had her speaking once again. “Have you been here – in this place – for a while?” She questioned but the answer didn’t matter much to her she just wanted to ask for the sake of asking.

He guessed he had been there for a long time, a good three weeks hiding in that old shithole. Robb had been caught stealing, which didn’t happen often and couldn’t happen again. “I guess it has been a few week since i got here.” he answered, keeping it casual as he would say. Actually the guy who lived here, whose name was scott and talked about his daughters every night before going to bed (or so robb presumed.), took him in. One day he went looking for supplies as he did every day and never came back. His daughter had dissipated the night before, she was the oldest of three and the only one alive. He assumed the old man had decide to off himself. Marla was nice, nice enough for him of course and he honestly didn’t think she’s dead. she got tired, like everyone and decided to take some time off of dealing with her dad, and dealing with robb probably. They didn’t really like each other, not with their clothes on...no. “You see, i’ll be leaving this place soon to...” he said nodding to himself “I think it’s the right thing to do, the old man will probably come back soon” lies.” and his daughter might come back too.” not so much of a lie.

For awhile all she could do was stare ahead, not willing to meet his gaze, and stay composed. The last thing she wanted to do was appear weak. She hardly ever allowed herself moments of true weakness and when she did it was only ever in front of Fleet or by herself. She should’ve stayed out in the truck to fully let herself feel the impacts the day had on her; to let what had happened sink in but she didn’t want to leave Fleet by himself. She was past thinking Robb was an immediate danger but she couldn’t be too safe. “Maybe–” She mumbled softly, finally breaking the silence, and turned to face him. “Maybe not. What if it’s jus’ the easy route? We still got choices, ya know, could not be pickin’ the right ones.”

somehow, despite the obvious melancholic feel to it, the girl didn’t sound sad at all. It was her southern voice, her honeyed tongued tone of voice that only calmed him down. “Well...” he said coughing once more, he tended to do that whenever he couldn’t find the answer...sometimes when he was lying “Taking the easy way out isn’t necessarily wrong.” his tone also changed, it became much more nurturing. He always had a warm voice, but this was different....it always was, it was like trying to convince a child that it’s alright to make mistakes. Truly Bob didn’t really think about it all that much, he didn’t want to. “I think we should probably talk about something else.” suddenly some kind of urge struck him, his mother would have probably smack him had he said something like that while talking to her “i’m not very good at this.”

I think we were meant to be but we did it wrong.

The moment he said wife she wondered what had happened to her, was she dead? She must be if she wasn’t with him but maybe she was just lost. In her previous life she might’ve asked but instead she just mumbled an “oh” and kept any questions she had to herself. It wasn’t any of her business. “Can’t say I blame ‘em.” She muttered, her hands stilling as she stopped sharpening the knife, she didn’t trust her hands to do what they were supposed to without shaking. Not when she realized she was one of those people; the people that took the lives of others for granted. The kind that would kill a living breathe person to protect herself. That was different, she had to tell herself; but was it? Sure her brother was an awful person but no one deserved to be killed. “Sometimes that’s what needs ta be done ta survive.” She found herself saying and was rather shocked to find that her voice was level, not revealing any of the pain and guilt she had felt. “S’all in the means of survival.”

He didn’t expect much of an answer, but he didn’t expect it to make her shy away from her curiosity. “I think we should probably talk about something else.” he was starting to feel depressed, a feeling he hated more than anything. He counted all of the options on his head, there wasn’t much to talk about and normally he would be up for this topic but not tonight. Robb also noticed her posture was changing, she was getting...nervous and he didn’t mean to make her feel bad or offer her a guilt trip....no, that wasn’t his intention at all “Listen...it’s okay.” he said looking at her once again, this time his eyes examined her hair and features “You did what you had to do.”

[ x ] 

He nodded as she spoke “I can see that...” letting out a little sigh of relief, hoping he would get to sit....”You can stay, if i had a problem with it you would be out of here already...People stay here all of the time.” obviously that wouldn’t happen any time soon, but Robb was known for his patience even then he didn’t feel safe around them, they were so fucking ready to fight....and he, being the pacifist, that he was felt like an old dog just hoping to get some sleep tonight. Hoping he would get to sharp his knives, to cook something remotely good. He was a thief after all, but when he was out on duty he was never the agressive type, he would just come and get the job done in no hurry but without wasting time...and he would take just enough to make it through the week and he would never take little treasures as he called those rare things people considered so precious to him. He once considered stealing a cat, it was agaisnt all of his principles but he loved animals so much and he was so so alone.

Fae nodded, she knew it was okay, because it had kept her alive this long and therefore it was severing it’s purpose. “It’s all I really got left, somethin’ I can hold onto.” She replied sadly, she had lost so much – everyone had – and what little she had left she desperately wanted to cling onto. “I think it’s natural, to have wanted somethin’ new. Always heard of people dreamin’ of livin’ somewhere else, somewhere better. Wanting a change of pace I suppose.” She shrugged, not quite able to get used to the normalcy of the conversation. It was strange how quickly something that had been so normal, a day to day occurrence, suddenly became a rarity. “Funny how so many would never appreciate what they had and now it’s all gone.” It wasn’t funny it was so far from funny. It was just sad. 

“i never meant to leave it, but my wife wanted to.” he said clearing his throat while scratching his jaw, he didn’t feel comfortable bringing up Harriet but there wasn’t any other reason. They got married right after high school and all she wanted to do was leave, he didn’t even know she had it in herself...all that hatred for the town, he knew she wanted bigger things, that the suburbs weren't for her but she hated it. They stopped talking as soon as he moved back into new jersey. “You’re right about that, many people took even their life for granted before the outbreak.” not me, he wanted to add. “Now they just take other’s people lives for granted.”

As she took the knife from him she sent him a small smile before letting her nimble hands take on the task of sharpening it, thankful to have something to do as she listened to him speak. “Hard not ta be skeptical.” She shrugged her eyes staying on the knife and the task at hand, it wasn’t till he spoke once more that she let her eyes drift over towards him and she couldn’t help but return the smile. There was something beautiful in seeing someone smile when they were in an empty shell of a world that once had been alive. “So yer a Jersey boy huh?” She remarked, “I like that I have my accent still, it’s like I’m still tied to that town. To the people that lived there. But I guess ya don’t need something like that as long as ya got the memories. The good ones; the kind that can bring ya to a happy place, even for a little.” She thought back to the warm summers with her friends; legs hanging off the back of a pickup truck laying back as if they had all the time in the world. “Never been ta New Jersey, is it nice?” 

“It’s not that hard if you try...” or so he liked to believed “but i think...it’s okay that you’re being cautious.” specially if it’s a woman, he wanted to add but felt like it was unnecessary. The world hadn’t change that man...well, men hadn’t change. “I can see that, you hold your accent very proud.” she was right, he didn’t need that accent and if he had it, it would made him sadder...he would sound just like Larry and that was the last thing he wanted. It seemed pretty ironic, no one wanted to resemble their parents but in robb’s case it’s because he would end up missing them even more. “I guess it’s a nice place, but I never liked that much...specially my hometown.” he said shrugging “it was nice, but not much else.” he looked out of the window and chuckled “my parents loved it there. I actually moved to new york but a long time before returning to new jersey. ” he shrugged “ still don’t understand the fuss over it, but the people were great.”

“I can help ya w'th that if ya want.” Faelynn offered with a shrug of her shoulders, thinking that maybe the distraction would be nice. Keep her busy from letting her thoughts straying to close to the thoughts that plagued her in her sleep. “I was– We came to yer territory, held ya at gun point, and now I’m questioning everythin’ ya do. Hafta do it though, never know who ta trust.” She explained softly, but she figured he already knew that, it wasn’t hard to tell that there was a shift in the world that had made everyone skeptical of the living. The dead weren’t the only enemies. “Where ya from? Before all of this happened.” She asked curiously. allowing herself a second of normalcy; asking questions as if everything was normal. 

Robb nodded and handed one of the knives to the girl, it seemed funny to him how he easily gave a dangerous woman a gun. He knew he had to be cautious, but in reality he didn’t feel like it...he saw no point on being suspicious of every human being. What’s point on surviving if you outlive everyone? What is the point of all of it? he shook his head, afraid of becoming sad and smile growing on his face. You couldn’t tell it was fake, he was really good at it. “Uh...I see what you mean, but I don’t think it’s like that.” he said without looking up “I knew someone who thought like that, even when the one wasn’t plagued with walkers. It never worked for her.” finally he looked up from the knife and smiled at her, almost as if he was thanking her for bringing up his town “I’m from cherry hill, new jersey, but I don’t even have accent any more.”

Sleep refused to come to the girl, every time she closed her eyes she was greeted by visions of blood and terror. She’d see the cold dead eyes belonging to her brother or reliving the image of watching the horde of walkers swarm around Winston. There was also the weighing feeling of being around someone she didn’t know; someone she didn’t trust yet. At the sound of footfalls nearing she looked up to see Robb approaching and she took a moment to think before she answered his question, “Can’t sleep.” In simple terms that was exactly why but it was a lot more complicated than that but for the moment she wasn’t exactly willing to divulge that information with him. “ What'chu doin’…”She let her question trail off not sure if she should be asking it, sure she was feeling a bit suspicious but this is his shelter and he had been nice enough to let them stay. “Sorry that was rude of me—- thank ya for letting us stay ‘ere. Means a lot.”

Robb couldn’t help but smile at the awkwardness of the girl, he hoped she would asleep so they wouldn’t have to do this “I was sharpening my knives when you came here...now i have to get it over with” he said, quickly letting out a frustrated sigh. It wasn’t their fault, they didn’t know but he felt tired. He felt his body caving in but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep now anyway not with them there. Normally he wouldn’t care, but they were so cautious. “ You weren’t rude, Fae.” he said, he meant it. “It’s nothing, it’s time for me to leave soon anyway.” Soon it would be a month, soon he would have to continue travelling and staying in one place wasn’t safe.