ralsei doodle!! she was so cute in her new dress ily ralsei

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@faefelidae
ralsei doodle!! she was so cute in her new dress ily ralsei

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I saw this and felt like it should be shared here too
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grimes
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i was training a young person at work, and she referred to sexual assault as "SA" out loud, and i immediately was like, "no, it's sexual assault, call it what it is," bc idgaf if the algorithm overlords have taught y'all that you should fear direct language, how tf do any of you expect to ever address real issues with any amount of seriousness if you can't even say the words? imagine an advocate looking a sexual assault survivor in the eyes and asking "did he grape you?" it's absolutely fucking absurd, but these young interns and new hires are coming into an environment where we deal with survivors of all different kinds of abuse, and they're coming with the mindset that the words are as bad as the actions, and that makes them shitty at the job and look juvenile af
i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience
say the fucking words, guys. just say the goddamn words before i go insane!!!
there are a handful of responses to this (some just obvious rage bait, but several genuine and well-meaning) pointing out that "sa" isn't the same as the other terms i highlighted, which i think is a valid criticism, so let me give more context. i did clarify this already in the replies, but just to put it somewhere slightly more public, in the incident i was specifically referring to, my problem was less with "sa" being used, than the fact that she was extremely uncomfortable when i asked her to clarify and say the actual words. acronyms are not inherently evil. social service/non-profit workers speak in acronyms constantly. i say "dv" instead of "domestic violence" a lot, just because it's faster. but! these acronyms are mainly used to communicate with each other, not with clients, and they are said for ease, not for censorship. you'll hear us say "dv" and "domestic violence" in the same breath sometimes, because it has nothing to do with being afraid to say it. my trainee--whom, for the record, i liked a lot and who was a very capable young woman, but who also did not have a lot of experience in the field--did not say "sa" that way. she said it in an undertone voice, like it was a secret or shameful, and clearly wasn't comfortable saying the words in full, which simply cannot happen in the job position i was training her for. hence why i likened it to self-censorship
(also, side note, mb it's different elsewhere, but i pretty much never hear "sa" said aloud. written, yes, but not spoken. i had no idea wtf she was even talking about at first, that's just not something we tend to shorten when speaking)
the thing is, there is a difference between the type of self-censorship i'm referring to, and being able to read the room and know when softer language is needed. english has plenty of euphemistic language built into it already, that softens things without censoring it. like saying to someone, "i heard your mother died" vs "i heard your mother passed away," or "he took his life" rather than "he killed himself"
it works with triggers, too. at work, we might ask a survivor, "did they harm you," or, "did they ever make you perform sex acts you were uncomfortable with" instead of "were you abused" or "were you raped," bc those terms carry a lot of connotation and weight that survivors might not be ready to accept yet. but there's still a directness there that doesn't lessen the impact or shame the survivor
the dumbass algorithm terms are not like this. they aren't the natural evolution of language, as i've seen some people claim. if a term is conceived to first and foremost appease advertisers and corporations, it is not a term that exists to help someone. "unalived" is not compassionate and direct. "sewer slide" "grape" "pdf" whatever the fuck--these are not compassionate or direct. putting a weird slant rhyme on a word so an algorithm doesn't flag it is not "protecting survivors." you're using those terms because you think you're not allowed to say the real ones. that is, by definition, censorship. and when this happens to the point that the terms enter people's every day lexicon, you get people like my trainee, who are so used to thinking they're not allowed to say certain things, that they get uncomfortable and embarrassed saying the thing in a place that exists specifically to deal with that thing
ultimately, it comes down to this: if the purpose of your vocabulary is to promote fear, then your vocabulary is dangerous and should be reevaluated. language is such a big component in a society's belief system. do not let them control yours
this isnt true by any stretch of the imagination
i think a lot of people have this incorrect idea that sexual promiscuity equates with tolerance or enlightenment or whatever when really it has nothing to do with that at all. you dont necessarily have to actually respect someone to have sex with them. you dont even necessarily have to respect someone’s gender, sexuality, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, political party, or economic class to have sex with them.
it would be NICE if we lived in a world where you had to actually respect someone to have sex with them but that is not actually the world we live in.
as a woman AND SPECIFICALLY as a trans woman there are more people in the world who don’t respect me who nevertheless want to have sex with me than there are people who want to have sex with me and who also respect me.
straight guys liking femboys is actually a pretty good example of how femboy largely existed and continues to exist as a third gender label for transfems and the 'ideal state' that patriarchy would prefer for us.
You can absolutely be a feminine man and I've no problem with that, but that's not really what a femboy is. There's a reason I hate the term, view it as one of the many fetishizing slurs against transfems, and get grossed out at how other TME queer folks seem to think it's the most wonderful term ever.
Straight men love femboys because they get to fuck a pretty thing that they don't have to respect the rights or even womanhood of! And to be a femboy, you have to be young, it's a label with an expiration date, and there's a reason for that! Easier to exploit!
I feel like I'm going insane when I try to explain these things to TME folks because a lot of TMA folks will get what I'm talking about (especially if they've been out for a while) but TME folks have no idea the history of the term or the concept it originated out of and what it actually means in practice.
genuinely what im up to on tumblr these days
Starting a collection

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Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).
When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".
When the boat is still being built, your say "it".
When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".
When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".
When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.
If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").
If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")
If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").
If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.
If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.
I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.
Hit "view post" and lost it
Also, please do not listen to how people talk about cover letters on this site. Cover letters are important, and in many industries you can be damn sure they'll be read. And no, they're not 'fanfic about working in your office', or just re-stating the resume contents in a fancier guise. If you treat them like that, then of course they're not doing much for you. That makes you sound like a syncophantic windbag, and it's not doing anything else to help.
I was trained in the dark arts of the cover letter by my mother, who is a hiring manager. And her training has paid off: I've been consistently told my cover letters are excellent. Let me pass on the wisdom.
The job of a cover letter is to give a prospective employer strictly more information than is on the resume. This is where you take the resume contents and put them into context. You look at the job requirements (you are looking at the job requirements before applying, right?) and look at your resume and ask the question (in your head) "why would a person think this candidate would be good for this job?" and your cover letter is the answer to that question. If you don't answer that question, the hiring manager is going to have to do it themselves, and you have way more information to work with than they do.
This is especially important if you're moving from one industry to another, because then the relevant connections aren't obvious. It's also very important if you're overqualified, because then you can use the letter to say "I know it looks like this job would be too entry-level for me, but I'm interested to pursue it for reasons x, y, and z". You can also use this space to explain away something that might otherwise be disqualifying, like job-hopping or a long break in employment. The tone to strike here is always matter-of-fact and constrained to topic - don't go into detail about health stuff or personal tragedy, just tell them what they need to hear: that this period of your resume was affected by [bad thing] but that it's now in the past and you're looking forward to the next chapter. Remember, one of the things they're trying to learn is whether you'd be content in this role, or whether you'd be miserable and leave after 2 months, which would force them to do all the work of hiring again. You're trying to establish that you will fit right in and not cause problems. Knowing what drew you to this job in particular (and don't just say 'money', that's true for everyone) helps with that.
And the other mistake? Everyone writes cover letters that are too long. One page is fine. Two is the absolute maximum, and that's if you have a lot of specific things to say. It's a waste of your time and theirs to pad it out with fluff. Of my two most recent successful cover letters (i.e. jobs for which I was interviewed) one was 390 words and the other was 550. That's the length of this post. How long did it take me to write this post? About 15 minutes to write, 5 to proof and edit. That's how long you should be spending on a cover letter, maximum.
Heart Attack ft. Kris
FIV+ Cat looking for a home in Florida
Charlie is an approximately 3 year old FIV+ cat that desperately needs a home. He's already neutered, litterbox trained and fully vaccinated. He was originally a stray that his current family left food out for, but they have started keeping him indoors after he was injured outside. He has recovered nicely and has gained 3 or 4 lbs since these photos were taken.
He is a very sweet cuddly boy and the only reason he is being rehomed is because of his FIV. His family says he has a wonderful temperament and they're all heartbroken that they have to rehome him.
He is located in central Florida, please send me an ask for details if you are interested or know someone who might be.
please reblog for visibility, let's find this boy a home
you are not a "femcel" you are not a "foid" you are not a "hon" you are a woman worthy of respect and taking up space and being happy and and the world is yours for the taking you're ALIVE!!!!!!!!! you're a HUMAN!!!!!!! FUCK what they told you!!!!!!

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Come to think of it, it really is insane that my entire country is burning alive and literally no one in the rest of the world cares. Thousands of Indians are dying every day from the heat, it's 45+ degrees in multiple areas, the government couldn't give two fucks, we're getting severe warnings and red alerts, and not a soul outside of South Asia is speaking about it because why would you ever care about brown people
please keep talking about how Becky from Maryland doesn't like the rising gas prices. It's clearly the more pressing issue.
USA folks, that is a consistent temperature range hitting 113°. Death Valley temperatures. In Banda, it hovered between 116°-118° (47°-48° C) for a week straight.
This has been happening all month with little to no international media attention. Here are a few organizations you can check out for resources or to support:
ActionAid India
SEEDS India
GlobalGiving
Raise India (Project Tapan)
I would also like to mention that Banda has significantly higher humidity than Death Valley even during the dry season so if those numbers aren't heat index adjusted, it probably felt even hotter than that.
"Susie becomes King of the Dark World" theory