to get closer to you...

making myself sad thinking abt kid dean not having anyone to talk to abt his interests, his favorite shows and movies and characters, like sam wasn’t into any of the same things as him, he didn’t have any friends, he was so so alone and isolated and had no one to share these joys with. until years and years later when he finally gets his best friend, and they just nerd out and watch movies together and he gets to tell cas why he loves these things and explain everything to him and get all giddy going into extreme detail and cas is fascinated because he loves learning new things and loves hearing everything dean has to say and loves sharing dean’s joy with him :’) 

that bit in 15x08 where cas heals the cut on dean’s hand is just so indicative of the unconditional nature of his love. even though i’m mad at you. even though we aren’t on good terms right now. even though my powers are dwindling. even though even though. i have the capacity to heal you, and even if the price comes at a direct detriment to me: i cannot bear to watch you suffer in any way. hate me, hold me at arm’s length, refuse to look me in the eye. just let me do this for you. i will always value your life over mine. i love you i love you i love you.