Dwight Fairfield. Taken into the Fog in 2016. Spent most of my life reading, watching, and playing horror media. Always up to do more of that. Yes, even now.
The Entity wiped my fucking posts AND my blog theme. Great. Expected. Whatever, not like I had any posts I wanted to keep, especially here.
It's Dwight Fairfield. One of... however many there turn out to be. Been here for about a decade, felt every bit of it. Go ahead, shoot me a message. Shoot me. God knows I'm used to it.
(OOC Under cut.)
(OOC: i haven't roleplayed in literally almost a decade, forgive me for the rust, lol.)
(Dead By Daylight canon-typical warnings apply, as in- potential discussions of violence, suicidal thoughts, murder, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. mun is over 21. shipping related asks limited to other 18+ blogs.)
(semi-canon compliant dwight fairfield. he has an ever-so-slightly different backstory, and a different response to that backstory as a result. he's been in the fog for quite a bit, too. his genuine smile and genuine optimism, gone.)
(this dwight is based heavily on my experiences with him in game, and will occasionally mention trials and conversations he's had that don't originate from posts on this blog! these mentions are just for flavor- guy's been here for a decade, he's been through a lot, and seen all sorts of different versions of different people.)
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THE BLACK BANQUET
Evan had been angry lately.
Sure, he was always angry, when he felt much of anything at all, but he'd been especially angry these past few days, with this new event. It was meant to something grand and special to commemorate what was apparently ten years - felt like far more, if you'd've asked him - in The Fog.
But it was really just a load of horseshit. For him, anyway.
Trials were a load of horseshit for him normally, but this was particularly bad. Survivors could turn invisible, be invincible, sprint faster than he could ever hope of going...
Though the last one didn't matter. As he always said, he didn't need to be fast, since they were just speeding right into his traps anyways. But it was still another bruise to his ego. As was every survivor that escaped. Every pallet stun. Every flashlight save. Every time he stepped in his own traps like an utter boob.
And with this event? It was happening so much more often. And the only thing he got to counteract the survivors' new abilities were... poison bottles. Like fucking Kenneth's. How insulting was that?
And he did understand. He understood that the survivors got these abilities to boost morale, give them some small shreds of hope so they don't go completely numb and Void themselves, but with this shit? Evan seriously wondered how the fuck he hadn't been voided yet.
His anger, like the kind gradually growing inside him as he went through these trials - back-to-back ones - was probably the answer.
With every failure, his blood boiled in his veins, until he was sure he had to be hot even to the touch. He started to get more aggressive, less patient, spending less time setting up and more time carving flesh with a rusted cleaver and feeling the familiar heat of blood spatter across his crusted skin.
Whenever someone got caught in his trap, he didn't just lift them out like he normally did - he instead ripped them out, the meat of their ankle sliding off of the bone as the serrated teeth dug in and tore. Their screams were satisfying sounds, as was the squelch of flesh as he carelessly tossed them onto the hooks.
He didn't get many kills that way either, but it was at least cathartic.
But even his anger didn't carry him very far. Not anymore. And especially not when The Entity was just throwing him into trial after trial after trial. He'd come out of one just to get tossed into another. Hours after hours spent walking around, spilling blood, with no moment to just rest. He hadn't stopped moving in what felt like forever.
He was starting to get worn down, exhaustion wearing at his already fucked bones. Jesus H. Christ, can't he just sit down for a moment? Murder is taxing, you know.
It did know.
So, eventually, it decided he'd finally done enough, and when the Fog enveloped him after one trial, he braced to be dumped into another, but wasn't. It looked the same as every fucking thing, just another forest, but he could feel that this wasn't a trial anymore.
Evan let out a loud groan, head tipping back in weary relief. A hand still drenched in blood rose to his face and dragged tiredly down the new horned mask he'd been given, along with a whole new outfit, for the event. He wasn't sure if the blood he'd just smeared on it was even visible, blood-red as it already was.
He wasn't quite sure what to think of said new outfit - it was very flashy compared to his usual - but he did like the mask, even if it wasn't his typical style.
But that didn't matter right now. What did matter was sitting the fuck down.
Lumbering through the muggy woods until he found a good, thick tree to rest by, he lowered himself to the dirt, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees, setting his cleaver in the grass beside him. He leaned forward so his back didn't really touch the tree, because having things touch the hooks and rebar embedded in the skin of his back and shoulders was very much not fun, he'd learned.
Raising a hand to prop his chin up, he let out a deep, heavy sigh, and shut his eyes - just sitting there, enjoying the rare quiet, and the gentle brush of a soft, cool breeze against his bared skin.
Finally, he could breathe.
As much as his fucked up, coal dust lined lungs allowed, anyway.
Dwight has been saying he's been here a decade.
He knew that, that it was a fact- but... it's different, to see it. To see IT, the Entity Itself, confirming it in the form of this massive, grand, faux formal event. It even dressed him up for the occasion- he'd come to in a trial wearing a suit It must have pulled from some unknowable corner of Its Self, because he'd never even seen one like it before.
It wasn't the worst thing It had dressed him in, but... it still made a part of himself writhe in nauseated, helpless anger. It already took so much from him- but It went ahead and tried to take more, sometimes. It took choice. It took self. It took identity.
It went further, hungered more- and It treated him like a doll.
He bites the inside of his cheek bloody so his jaw doesn't tremble. He's used to it, he tells himself, trying to stifle that awful sense of violation so he doesn't just, absolutely break down in a fit of insensate rage.
...He can feel Its thought-like currents running through the fabric of Everything, of Itself- a riptide of self-satisfaction, sadism, coursing through that incomprehensible filter of what might count as Its mind. If he wanted to simplify It- It was enjoying Itself. Prideful that It had managed to keep this set of experiments, of livestock, un-voided for this long, this all had manifested from It in a blossoming of stored energy.
He's come to theorize that the banquet wasn't "for them"- and that's why it fucking sucked, and continued to fucking suck even once he got used to it. No, the real banquet... was them. All of them. Killer and survivor alike. That's why It's putting him through his paces so hard. he hasn't been in back-to-back-to-back trials like this in a hot second, but he certainly hasn't missed it. Ten hours of nothing but running and fighting, his watch says.
Apparently, that had been enough for the moment, because the Entity finally dropped him in Its interstitial forest after It finished putting him back together from the last trial. He'd gotten everyone out but himself. Sacrificed on a basement hook.
He breathes with a restored ribcage, feels his un-impaled abdominal muscles shivering and threatening to cramp around remembered intrusions before they notice he's not skewered anymore.
Once his mind catches on to the fact he's not in a trial as well, and not by a campfire either... he starts to slink in a random direction, hoping to find a place to just. Lay down. Feel more like the corpse that he is where none of his survivors can see him looking like it.
Ten hours, for ten years. Ten years since he was taken.
...Ten years since a group of people brought him into those woods on false pretenses. And though he'd been nervous, uncomfortable, paranoid- when hadn't he been? He saw yet more eyes viewing him as little more than a stepping stone on the way to their own greatness- but when hadn't he worried about that? When hadn't he been paranoid to the point of delusion?
But he shouldn't have ignored it. He had recognized it. He shouldn't have shirked his instincts yet again. He- he saw he was nothing to them in that fateful moment, just flesh, to drug, to carve, to use-
-but he'd dipped his head, curled in his shoulders, squeezed his knees together, then. Trying to ignore that fear gnawing at the bottom of his heart.
...Before he knew what happened, before he realized after Taurie had arrived that those people must have been some of the Entity's cultists sacrificing him, he'd tried to keep himself from going too far down the path of wondering what exactly they'd done to him. Fearing what he might theorize, or worse, possibly remember.
Now, it just made him feel even more tired to think about than he already had been. And he'd been very, very tired, for a long, long time.
He sees a decently thick tree eventually, one that'd easily swallow up the dark, small shadow that was his silhouette, and he pads up to it- but he freezes mid-stride as some instinct in him- even exhausted as it is- perks up.
...He's a little wary of checking- but he steps around the tree regardless, and sees-
"Evan?"
He winces a little behind the mask he'd been given at just how tired, and shredded out his voice is. Then, reminded he was wearing the thing, he takes it off, and replaces it with his glasses. As much as he liked covering up his face... something about seeing Evan makes him want to take it off. Put them back where they started, maybe, when it was just them, confused, wary, trying to figure out both what was going on... and who the other man was.
He looks tired.
They both look tired.
...He's so...
"...Are you as exhausted as I am?"
Asking, in that indirectly direct way, what they'll be doing this time. Dwight knows him well enough to read whatever response he's given in reply to that- be it a "fuck off", in a manner of speaking, or an agreement. An invitation to commiserate, be it in silence or otherwise.
...He's known him, long enough, to tell.
Evan couldn't help but startle a bit at the unexpected call of his name - yanked out of the peace and the silence by the presence of another. But it was Fairfield. Peaceful and silent enough. He could handle small talk with him, maybe.
Disgruntled, the Trapper dropped his hand from his chin and straightened his back, looking up (hardly) at Fairfield from his seat on the ground. The man held a mask at his side in one hand - not dissimilar to Evan's new one, just white and with a different face - and he was also in a similar outfit. Some of the survivors he'd seen had them too, but he'd yet to see Dwight's, 'til now.
He'd yet to see the man the whole event so far, actually. They'd been seeing less and less of one another over the years - he wasn't sure if it was because of the growing roster of people to face, or if The Entity was doing some kinda bullshit to make it that way for some reason.
He didn't know.
He didn't care.
... Fairfield sounded thin. Like a threadbare cloth - worn until it withered away. Not too different to a working man's boots, slowly falling apart under extensive abuse. Though usually those were loved to death. Dwight just seemed... plain dead. No love involved. That wasn't really a thing here.
But he looked worn, too, looking at his face - the man having taken off the mask to allow such.
Evan wouldn't return the favor.
But the both of them were haggard, beat down to the bone. That was something the two could share, if not faces.
He scoffed and turned his head. "Surprised you even had to ask."
His voice came out unintentionally rough - a bit moreso than usual. It had been a hot moment since he'd really spoken. He'd always been a rather quiet man if he wasn't fired up about something, and there wasn't much to talk about during trials. Not with most people, anyway. Some made for a good quick chat while he had them over his shoulder. Fairfield included, sometimes, even if it was mostly just exchanges of a few words.
Most of which tended to be insults or swears.
He cleared his throat, then visibly looked Fairfield up and down a moment, gaze raking over the gilded red fabric. "... Keen suit, kid," he commented blandly, but at least semi-sincerely. It did look good, after all.
...Did everyone have metal snakes wrapped around them, or was that just him and Dwight? Evan couldn't recall - he didn't often pay much attention to what survivors wore besides being able to identify who was who in a trial.
He answered Evan's scoff with a humorless one of his own, and a short nod of agreement- yeah...
"...Figures."
His tone is dull, pained, practically a sigh. Commiseration it was.
The Entity had tortured Dwight before too, in many ways- It just got finished wringing him out for all he was worth to It, in fact- but It didn't torture him like... like how It did Evan. The ever present shrapnel. The gradual destruction, the changing of the physical form it kept putting him back into.
It left scars on Dwight- the paired starbursts of knotted tissue below his collarbone, his shoulder, the clustering of slashes overlaying each other on his back and chest, like ghost images, and...
He shifts his ankle a touch- the ring of scar tissue around his leg.
He didn't step in Evan's traps nearly as much as he was hooked, or struck- but the Entity seemed to think he should bear the mark of them regardless.
...It did these things to him, yes. But of course- of course Evan would be tired. Worn in, worn out. He's physically got it worse.
Dwight asked more just... to voice it, he supposes. To reach out.
He blinks at the compliment, genuinely surprised- then smiles. It's just as thin and tired as he still sounded, but... more fragile, somehow. A gossamer, delicate, fleeting touch of relief.
"Thanks. Yours is pretty nice too."
He means it as well, stated it in a sort of similarly blunt way- a compliment made statement of fact by how at ease he sounded saying it. Less like he thought of something polite to say in response, and more like he was just noting the obvious. It's the truth to him. Evan looks nice... besides the injuries that make his own fingers twitch with the want to tend them.
...If he was still living a lie- still thought he was alive- he'd then sit by Evan at a carefully measured distance out of wariness, perched on his feet tucked underneath him, like he was ready to spring away into a sprint at any second. Still so vehemently resistant to death, as if it might matter somehow.
He'd learned how he ticked quickly, adapted as they both changed bit by bit, and now… he knew how far the man could lunge like he knew the taste of his own blood. Something so innate, he wouldn't be surprised to hear it was etched into him, somewhere. Maybe the lining of the inside of his ribs, where it could make his breath catch as muscles surged to life in response.
Maybe, if he reached inside himself next time he was torn open, he could run his fingers over it.
...But, right now he doesn't really care. He'd feared dying once, feared pain- now it was just annoying. Upsetting, at the absolute worst, and maybe inconvenient. Besides that, he just came off a death. Not only is Evan randomly deciding to snatch him up and kill him unlikely, the idea of it just… doesn’t register as something he’d rather avoid.
Instead, he sits down neatly at a respectful distance- but not a "safe" one.
Rather than keeping his gaze locked on Evan keenly like he used to years ago, like a dog staring down a wolf on the edges of the pasture, he looks up into the vast, maddening abyss above...
And he shuts his eyes, with his head tilted back.
His throat is vulnerable and bare, and as he sighs, nearly silent, in some relief- the tremor in his muscles becomes a little more pronounced. He was just remade, but that didn’t mean he was remade all fresh and perfect. He’s exhausted, his body and mind overworked.
He wants to lay down. Sprawl out like a dead thing. But, for a moment, he moreso wants to bask in the quiet, and the breeze that stirs up the humid air into something fresher, cleaner. Just a bit longer.
Evan blinked dumbly at the actually genuine compliment. And the little smile. Soft and weary as it was, it was real.
"... It's alright, I guess," he returned as he averted his gaze, turning it down to his hands, which he'd dropped into his lap. In his peripheral vision, he could see Dwight sit down, back against another tree, at a notable but not wary distance.
Typically, people stayed as far away from him as possible. But not Dwight. He hadn't done that for a while, now. Sure, he was always cautious - he'd be a dilly if he wasn't - but he hadn't really been scared of Evan for... years.
It should irritate him. It irritated him when the other survivors weren't afraid, when he was treated like a joke, like something they needn't worry about, like a killer they entered a trial with and went 'oh thank god' about. But it was different with Fairfield.
He'd known this man longer than anyone else here. Even before Philly and Max, and Dwight's friends, Claudette, Meg, and Jake. It was brief, but there had been a time it was just the two of them. They'd been the first living thing the other saw when they'd entered this pseudo-Hell.
He figured Dwight knew him better than any other. The mite knew he was unlikely to be in danger right now.
Evan turned his gaze back up, watching the survivor with his head tipped back, willingly baring his throat. Freely making himself vulnerable and giving Evan the chance to lunge forward and swipe the blade by his side across that slender neck. Or to do it himself. His hands, though they felt little, itched to reach forward, to grab it, and to squeeze. To deface and ruin and break it just because he could.
He'd always broken things just because he could. Objects, people... it never mattered to him. He'd broken his knuckles on brick just as much as someone else's bones.
And here Dwight was, baring his throat, always unsure but currently fairly certain that he'd be fine, at least for long enough to rest here with little worry.
Focused intently on that display of vulnerability, Evan tore his gaze from it and instead looked back down at his twitchy hands. At the red liquid that was starting to dry and add another layer to the numerous that were caked atop his already red gloves. This red wasn't quite the same color as the blood the way his mask was. Just a smidgen more vibrant, allowing it to stand out.
... Evan wiped them off on his pantlegs and sighed, coughed, then counted blades of grass that weren't real.
. . .
But eventually, he lifted his head again. "This whole thing's bullshit," he abruptly spoke up after a long, comfortable, somewhat awkward but peaceful silence between the two. The statement was vague. General. About the anniversary event, but also everything ever.
"Ten fucking years for this," he sneered, raising a hand to gesture at their surroundings. "Dunno why It even bothered. A right boondoggle, this is."
Dwight’s eyes drift back open at the sound of Evan’s voice, deep brown irises turned black by the reflection of the darkness above. As if a shard of It had replaced the color.
The movement is slow- unsurprised. He doesn’t look back at Evan immediately after he speaks, instead briefly searching the sky above, as if he’s looking for something.
For any of It manifesting.
Then, not seeing anything but stillness in the familiar dark sky, his head tilts, listing so he can make sort-of eye contact while still leaning back.
“‘S a selfish fucking thing.” He agrees with Evan, his voice made a little breathy from the position of his throat. “Entity’s just pleased Its kept Its little experiment going this long. From our perspective, at least. Not like It really… processes time the same way we do.”
He finally looks down at his own hands with a sigh- clasping them over his knees as he pulls them up to his chest. Red leather gloved fingers lace together with ease, like he’d already broken them in to fit his hands perfectly. He probably had. Lots of work on the generators and all.
“Probably feels like everything passed by in a heartbeat to It.” he growls- bitter, low.
…Then resigned.
The brief fire of anger in him flickers out with as little fanfare as it had appeared with- and he perches his chin on his hands and knees too, as his head starts feeling too heavy. As everything feels too heavy.
“...And so here we are. Dressed up for Its little victory lap.”
He shuts his eyes again, takes a long, bracing breath- and then looks back up at the sky, lifting a middle finger to It, glaring. The same kind of look (and same exact gesture) he’d give the Entity’s claws whenever he walked up to them blocking a generator.
“It thinks It’ll live forever." he hisses, "-That It finally found the key to beating the void. That It can celebrate about it and shove it in our faces. I say fuck that, and fuck It. I hope It chokes eating Its own pride and goddamn dies.”
Ah. Hope.
Such a fickle little thing, and so… audibly not-quite-there in Dwight. He knows cursing It is useless- but… what else can he do? What other way was there to show his teeth to It?
He goes slack and quiet again, curled in on himself, energy expended. He’s angry, he’s so, goddamn tired, and he wishes he could sleep for a hundred thousand years, wake up, and find they’d all discovered the way to kill the Entity and get out. Dwight would die with It, but hey, happily ever after didn’t mean there wouldn’t be sacrifices. He’d accepted that.
He accepted that, which is why he shuts his eyes and sinks into himself just a little more. Tired. So tired.
Evan sat there and stared as Dwight went on a little spiel about The Entity. Not a single detail of it was wrong. Presumably. They still knew fuck all about the damned thing, but Dwight's guess was as good as Evan's. Even better, actually.
Evan had just been... going with the flow. Against it, sometimes, when he had the energy to fight back, but that was always beat back out of him for a while afterwards. It was Fairfield that was sort of... studying the thing. Making notes. He'd heard of the man's books, filled to the brim with mad scribbles of him trying to make sense of the nonsensical thing lording over them.
Evan had, obviously, never read them, and he never would. If telling anyone about his... struggles... wasn't the single most embarrassing thing he could think of, he might have asked Dwight to read them to him. Help him understand the thing he hadn't really tried to, but still understood better than most.
Fairfield was smart. He looked smart, he acted smart, he did smart. Evan hadn't really thought to make notes like that, but he couldn't anyway. That could be left to Dwight.
But the weight of The Entity was clearly crashing down on the little man. As it crashed down on Evan as well. As it crashed down on everyone.
Sometimes it was more bearable. Sometimes it was the only thing in existence, aside from your own suffering.
Evan watched Dwight curl in on himself and close his eyes, so small and fragile. There would be no better time to kill him than right now.
Evan stood up. He wiped his hands on his pantlegs again.
Then he approached, closing their distance-
But left his cleaver in the dirt and came near, empty-handed. Not that he needed a weapon to kill Fairfield, but he figured it'd be more reassuring for him to not have one.
The Trapper plopped himself down next to Dwight - not too close, but close enough so that if he moved about a foot further into him, his knee would knock into the man. His head was turned to Dwight, watching him with dull eyes as the weary survivor sank further into the pits of misery that this place liked to toss its inhabitants into.
Evan knew those pits better than anything else.
The weak and the weary will never survive, his old lessons piped up in the back of his head, but given how much Dwight has survived - not the trials, but still being here despite them - he'd long since deduced that they were at least partially wrong. Especially since, by that rule, Evan, worn down as he was, was also destined for death.
... Though, maybe that part was true.
Slowly, both to telegraph the movement and also from just plain hesitance, he raised a large hand and tentatively set it on Dwight's shoulder - weighing heavy on him, but not as heavy as The Entity and Its Realm, and much more present, despite Evan's lack of ability to feel Dwight beneath his palm.
"I mean and how," he responded blandly with an eye roll, turning his gaze to the gilded red fabric of his... robe thingy, which he started idly tracing the pattern of with a finger he couldn't feel either. "Though given the lack of throat, I don't think it can. Tragic."
After a second, he took his hand back off Dwight's shoulder, not wanting to linger and make things even more awkward.
"You know I'd love to bump it off myself - fuck knows I've tried. But as we've seen 'afore, trying to get this thing to give a damn about anythin' is a real trip for biscuits."
He didn’t jump in response to the sound of Evan shifting, coming closer, but his eyes did drift open to watch him get up and step over- flicking to the cleaver left behind for a moment before returning to him.
He didn’t move besides that, either. Didn’t seem to react much, besides the subtle movements of his near-black irises. Even though he knew damn well that Evan could kill him armed or not, he accepted his proximity without flinching. The action of leaving his weapon behind came across as intended- as the message that it was. He’s… almost surprised by it, though, that Evan actually approached him with such an intent. God, he really must look like hell, huh?
Then Evan lifted his hand, and… his eyes did widen a little as he realized what he was going to go through with, but they still softened dramatically as he watched Evan set his hand on his shoulder.
He blinks slowly as he feels it settle, heavy, and...
…is he insane, or foolish, to admit that it does comfort him? That he sighs as the weight on his shoulders is displaced by something realer, and somehow gentler? It doesn’t reassure him in the traditional way, not much, but. Seeing Evan reaching out to him. Wanting to offer this at all. That, that is a comfort. Years of them both changing lead to this, and though those years were terrible, though he curses the god who consumed him, who consumed all of them-
His eyes flutter shut again, and he leans into Evan’s touch minutely, for as long as it lasts. Despite it all, some of them have changed in a way that matters. Some of them are freer from themselves and others than they’ve ever had a chance to be before. And that, at least, is a relief to cling to amongst all this suffering.
He nods in response to him again, and takes a breath- it sounds like it comes to him a little easier, as his head raises.
“It bleeds. It can die. That’s… that’s what I try to remind myself of. Maybe we can’t physically rip It apart- god, as much as I wish we could- but It bleeds. It gets sick. It has to avoid starving. It might not die easy, but It. Will. Die.”
He swallows roughly, his head dipping again slightly as he does to try and hide it- but the leather of his gloves creaks a little as his fists clench instinctively. He relaxes them after a moment, but- it’s clear that his anger is coming back to the forefront of him a bit.
“...I just wish It didn’t manage to do this much. To- to gloat over us.”
He laughs, weakly, looks off somewhere else- someplace else.
“...I would’ve been thirty eight this year. I don’t know what I would… count as, anymore, if I could leave. Something else, I guess. It’s not like it matters either way, but… it’s just another thing It’s done, yeah? Another thing It got to take from everyone. Time itself.”
‘It took my life, too. My body, my mind, my soul. It took me, and now It uses me over and over and over again and I can’t even fight back- because what It wants to use me for is what I want to do. I feel It inside me and I want to rip It out but I’m so afraid there might be nothing left if I do that.’
‘Because then, all hollowed out, what use would I be of to anyone?’
…He doesn’t say that.
“When It dies,” he murmurs instead, “-I hope it hurts.”
And maybe it’s a horrible, vicious, toxic wish, a hope that rots him away- but, well, poison’s his thing at this point. Maybe, if he poisons himself enough, the Entity will choke on him.
“I know it wouldn’t matter, if It felt pain or not. But- goddamn, I still want It to feel even a sliver of what everyone’s been through because of It.”
Evan, for a long while, couldn't think of any words to throw up in response to that, so he merely grunted in agreement with a short nod.
Unfortunate that there weren't even crickets to fill the silence between the two. He'd kill for a loon, even. Or maybe a canary - he'd love it if he could have his own canary. Sing him its pretty little tunes.
He'd keep it alive even in this hell. He knew how.
But he didn't have a canary, and there was nothing to fill the silence between the sounds of his own heavy ass breathing. Good God, was he really that loud? That's unbearable.
He shook the thoughts out of his head, then cleared his throat.
"I'd like that, too," he finally responded. "Fuckin' thing certainly deserves it more than anyone or anything here. Some of us are right awful, I'll fuckin' say, but I don't think no one deserves this place, really. Unless they're the freaks that like it here, obviously. They can stay here and get tortured forever, far as I fuckin' care. 'Least they want it."
He stared down at his own hands, which had rested on his knees, but now moved to idly pick at some of the blood dried onto his gloves. Red dust, once liquid, crumbled into the grass below him.
"And now It's rubbin' in our face that It's able to torture people forever regardless of if they want it. The thing isn't human, but It's still the biggest asshole I ever met, and I've been to some real bull sessions full of the nastiest men I ever seen. What a joke."
"But er- you can say that shit about time bein' stolen again. I'd be... hundred'n nineteen, in your time, 2016," he said with an incredulous scoff. "But, 'course, I'm not really. And ten years... if we aged normally here, which I might actually be given the grim look of me, I'm forty-eight."
He tilted his head, considering.
"... Even that's longer than I expected to live at one point, really. And I don't expect to live much more than that, either," he shrugged lamely.
He’s an awful, awful man, for the feeling of his heart twisting at that. For the sensation of loneliness.
He wouldn’t be alone, he wouldn’t, but… they were the first, and part of him… part of him sort of hoped they’d be the last. That as the Entity died, they’d be there.
No longer so confused. Not infuriated, or panicked, or facing down eternity as It swallowed them whole.
He doesn’t have hope he’s alive outside of the Fog, and Evan- he doesn’t… even if he could adjust to the world outside, would he want to? Would it fit him? Would the world they land in be harmed by him? Would they be, when they were no longer immortal, no longer held in these claws that cradled them for so long? He doesn’t think so, not at this point, but…
He can’t abide the idea. He can’t stand the idea of his survivors being hunted when it’s all supposed to be over. It- he can't, can’t, he can’t.
He shakes, for just a moment, eyes going distant and haunted. Because if Evan shouldn’t, wouldn’t leave, then what reason was there to ask for him to persist? Is he really so selfish? So horrifically cruel?
God, is he any different from the Entity Itself, feeding off the other man for as long as he stayed here?
He tries to blink it off, tries to shift his mindset back to answering.
“I’m…”
…But he finds himself wanting to say something he can’t.
He’s not sure… why. He was so good at keeping quiet, never saying a word, hiding the truth behind his teeth though it begged him, over and over, to cry out.
“I thought I would too. A while ago. I just… I didn’t.”
And that is the truth. It is.
…It is.
‘...I’m dead I’m Its doll to play with to toy with to change how It wills and I’m never going to be free of It I’ll never be anything but a-’
“...It’s not done with me yet.” And though that was sometimes a point that gave him strength, it feels so shameful now, sounds ashamed on his tongue.
He is ashamed. He makes it so easy for It to use him. He cries for Its aid when he’s backed into a corner that frightens him, that he doesn’t understand, that seems like it’d be a mutual issue. He pushes into Its grasp as It takes him through Itself, through memories of places long gone and long lost- because of It. He offers It his rage and his service in exchange for the same strength that took him, even, when he thinks he must.
He breathes out, shakily. Looks up at Evan, eyes wide, emphatic... and, almost, hazed over with some kind of mania.
“If you do go,” he etches a contract into his own soul, fervent, and feels it dig in with each word, “-I’ll give It whatever It wants from me, so I can make sure I last long enough to make It pay.”
Dead By Daylight Danny "The Ghost Face" Johnson roleplay blog. Created Oct. 25th, 2026.
Hello hello! Funny seeing you here... 💕
Name's Ghost Face. The one and only (though... not anymore, it seems). But you might have heard of me, haha - my name's a pretty big one.
... Though it's you that truly needs no introduction; I already know you. Very well. Honestly, you should get some better locks, even a novice could pick those...
But no matter! I'm here on Tumblr now, speaking from The Fog - so don't be shy, come say hi! I don't bite.
Unless you want me to.
𝙸𝙽𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙼𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽
Mature topics warning.
All are welcome to interact, including OCs. My DMs are also open.
Mun is all pronouns.
Sometimes slow on replies. I have 8 gazillion blogs to tend to.
𝚃𝙰𝙶 𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃
#Red right hand -- solo posts
#Come and play with me -- additions to others' posts
#Letters beneath the bed -- ask answers
#Gorehound hellbound horror movie lover -- literate rp responses
#ask meme response
#reblog
#ooc post
𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴𝙳 𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂
🧩
🐇
🩸🏹
🌊
🦈
𝚆𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙽𝙴𝚁𝚂
TBD
𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝚂 (𝙸𝙽 𝙻𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝙾𝚁𝙳𝙴𝚁)
TBD
𝚆𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙰𝙼𝙿𝙻𝙴
...
🔪 // Dividers by: @/uzmacchiato & unknown (DM me if you made any of these and I'll add you)
⚙︎ // Starter for @facelessfacadefairfield. Divider by @/cursed-carmine
THE BLACK BANQUET
Evan had been angry lately.
Sure, he was always angry, when he felt much of anything at all, but he'd been especially angry these past few days, with this new event. It was meant to something grand and special to commemorate what was apparently ten years - felt like far more, if you'd've asked him - in The Fog.
But it was really just a load of horseshit. For him, anyway.
Trials were a load of horseshit for him normally, but this was particularly bad. Survivors could turn invisible, be invincible, sprint faster than he could ever hope of going...
Though the last one didn't matter. As he always said, he didn't need to be fast, since they were just speeding right into his traps anyways. But it was still another bruise to his ego. As was every survivor that escaped. Every pallet stun. Every flashlight save. Every time he stepped in his own traps like an utter boob.
And with this event? It was happening so much more often. And the only thing he got to counteract the survivors' new abilities were... poison bottles. Like fucking Kenneth's. How insulting was that?
And he did understand. He understood that the survivors got these abilities to boost morale, give them some small shreds of hope so they don't go completely numb and Void themselves, but with this shit? Evan seriously wondered how the fuck he hadn't been voided yet.
His anger, like the kind gradually growing inside him as he went through these trials - back-to-back ones - was probably the answer.
With every failure, his blood boiled in his veins, until he was sure he had to be hot even to the touch. He started to get more aggressive, less patient, spending less time setting up and more time carving flesh with a rusted cleaver and feeling the familiar heat of blood spatter across his crusted skin.
Whenever someone got caught in his trap, he didn't just lift them out like he normally did - he instead ripped them out, the meat of their ankle sliding off of the bone as the serrated teeth dug in and tore. Their screams were satisfying sounds, as was the squelch of flesh as he carelessly tossed them onto the hooks.
He didn't get many kills that way either, but it was at least cathartic.
But even his anger didn't carry him very far. Not anymore. And especially not when The Entity was just throwing him into trial after trial after trial. He'd come out of one just to get tossed into another. Hours after hours spent walking around, spilling blood, with no moment to just rest. He hadn't stopped moving in what felt like forever.
He was starting to get worn down, exhaustion wearing at his already fucked bones. Jesus H. Christ, can't he just sit down for a moment? Murder is taxing, you know.
It did know.
So, eventually, it decided he'd finally done enough, and when the Fog enveloped him after one trial, he braced to be dumped into another, but wasn't. It looked the same as every fucking thing, just another forest, but he could feel that this wasn't a trial anymore.
Evan let out a loud groan, head tipping back in weary relief. A hand still drenched in blood rose to his face and dragged tiredly down the new horned mask he'd been given, along with a whole new outfit, for the event. He wasn't sure if the blood he'd just smeared on it was even visible, blood-red as it already was.
He wasn't quite sure what to think of said new outfit - it was very flashy compared to his usual - but he did like the mask, even if it wasn't his typical style.
But that didn't matter right now. What did matter was sitting the fuck down.
Lumbering through the muggy woods until he found a good, thick tree to rest by, he lowered himself to the dirt, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees, setting his cleaver in the grass beside him. He leaned forward so his back didn't really touch the tree, because having things touch the hooks and rebar embedded in the skin of his back and shoulders was very much not fun, he'd learned.
Raising a hand to prop his chin up, he let out a deep, heavy sigh, and shut his eyes - just sitting there, enjoying the rare quiet, and the gentle brush of a soft, cool breeze against his bared skin.
Finally, he could breathe.
As much as his fucked up, coal dust lined lungs allowed, anyway.
Dwight has been saying he's been here a decade.
He knew that, that it was a fact- but... it's different, to see it. To see IT, the Entity Itself, confirming it in the form of this massive, grand, faux formal event. It even dressed him up for the occasion- he'd come to in a trial wearing a suit It must have pulled from some unknowable corner of Its Self, because he'd never even seen one like it before.
It wasn't the worst thing It had dressed him in, but... it still made a part of himself writhe in nauseated, helpless anger. It already took so much from him- but It went ahead and tried to take more, sometimes. It took choice. It took self. It took identity.
It went further, hungered more- and It treated him like a doll.
He bites the inside of his cheek bloody so his jaw doesn't tremble. He's used to it, he tells himself, trying to stifle that awful sense of violation so he doesn't just, absolutely break down in a fit of insensate rage.
...He can feel Its thought-like currents running through the fabric of Everything, of Itself- a riptide of self-satisfaction, sadism, coursing through that incomprehensible filter of what might count as Its mind. If he wanted to simplify It- It was enjoying Itself. Prideful that It had managed to keep this set of experiments, of livestock, un-voided for this long, this all had manifested from It in a blossoming of stored energy.
He's come to theorize that the banquet wasn't "for them"- and that's why it fucking sucked, and continued to fucking suck even once he got used to it. No, the real banquet... was them. All of them. Killer and survivor alike. That's why It's putting him through his paces so hard. he hasn't been in back-to-back-to-back trials like this in a hot second, but he certainly hasn't missed it. Ten hours of nothing but running and fighting, his watch says.
Apparently, that had been enough for the moment, because the Entity finally dropped him in Its interstitial forest after It finished putting him back together from the last trial. He'd gotten everyone out but himself. Sacrificed on a basement hook.
He breathes with a restored ribcage, feels his un-impaled abdominal muscles shivering and threatening to cramp around remembered intrusions before they notice he's not skewered anymore.
Once his mind catches on to the fact he's not in a trial as well, and not by a campfire either... he starts to slink in a random direction, hoping to find a place to just. Lay down. Feel more like the corpse that he is where none of his survivors can see him looking like it.
Ten hours, for ten years. Ten years since he was taken.
...Ten years since a group of people brought him into those woods on false pretenses. And though he'd been nervous, uncomfortable, paranoid- when hadn't he been? He saw yet more eyes viewing him as little more than a stepping stone on the way to their own greatness- but when hadn't he worried about that? When hadn't he been paranoid to the point of delusion?
But he shouldn't have ignored it. He had recognized it. He shouldn't have shirked his instincts yet again. He- he saw he was nothing to them in that fateful moment, just flesh, to drug, to carve, to use-
-but he'd dipped his head, curled in his shoulders, squeezed his knees together, then. Trying to ignore that fear gnawing at the bottom of his heart.
...Before he knew what happened, before he realized after Taurie had arrived that those people must have been some of the Entity's cultists sacrificing him, he'd tried to keep himself from going too far down the path of wondering what exactly they'd done to him. Fearing what he might theorize, or worse, possibly remember.
Now, it just made him feel even more tired to think about than he already had been. And he'd been very, very tired, for a long, long time.
He sees a decently thick tree eventually, one that'd easily swallow up the dark, small shadow that was his silhouette, and he pads up to it- but he freezes mid-stride as some instinct in him- even exhausted as it is- perks up.
...He's a little wary of checking- but he steps around the tree regardless, and sees-
"Evan?"
He winces a little behind the mask he'd been given at just how tired, and shredded out his voice is. Then, reminded he was wearing the thing, he takes it off, and replaces it with his glasses. As much as he liked covering up his face... something about seeing Evan makes him want to take it off. Put them back where they started, maybe, when it was just them, confused, wary, trying to figure out both what was going on... and who the other man was.
He looks tired.
They both look tired.
...He's so...
"...Are you as exhausted as I am?"
Asking, in that indirectly direct way, what they'll be doing this time. Dwight knows him well enough to read whatever response he's given in reply to that- be it a "fuck off", in a manner of speaking, or an agreement. An invitation to commiserate, be it in silence or otherwise.
...He's known him, long enough, to tell.
Evan couldn't help but startle a bit at the unexpected call of his name - yanked out of the peace and the silence by the presence of another. But it was Fairfield. Peaceful and silent enough. He could handle small talk with him, maybe.
Disgruntled, the Trapper dropped his hand from his chin and straightened his back, looking up (hardly) at Fairfield from his seat on the ground. The man held a mask at his side in one hand - not dissimilar to Evan's new one, just white and with a different face - and he was also in a similar outfit. Some of the survivors he'd seen had them too, but he'd yet to see Dwight's, 'til now.
He'd yet to see the man the whole event so far, actually. They'd been seeing less and less of one another over the years - he wasn't sure if it was because of the growing roster of people to face, or if The Entity was doing some kinda bullshit to make it that way for some reason.
He didn't know.
He didn't care.
... Fairfield sounded thin. Like a threadbare cloth - worn until it withered away. Not too different to a working man's boots, slowly falling apart under extensive abuse. Though usually those were loved to death. Dwight just seemed... plain dead. No love involved. That wasn't really a thing here.
But he looked worn, too, looking at his face - the man having taken off the mask to allow such.
Evan wouldn't return the favor.
But the both of them were haggard, beat down to the bone. That was something the two could share, if not faces.
He scoffed and turned his head. "Surprised you even had to ask."
His voice came out unintentionally rough - a bit moreso than usual. It had been a hot moment since he'd really spoken. He'd always been a rather quiet man if he wasn't fired up about something, and there wasn't much to talk about during trials. Not with most people, anyway. Some made for a good quick chat while he had them over his shoulder. Fairfield included, sometimes, even if it was mostly just exchanges of a few words.
Most of which tended to be insults or swears.
He cleared his throat, then visibly looked Fairfield up and down a moment, gaze raking over the gilded red fabric. "... Keen suit, kid," he commented blandly, but at least semi-sincerely. It did look good, after all.
...Did everyone have metal snakes wrapped around them, or was that just him and Dwight? Evan couldn't recall - he didn't often pay much attention to what survivors wore besides being able to identify who was who in a trial.
He answered Evan's scoff with a humorless one of his own, and a short nod of agreement- yeah...
"...Figures."
His tone is dull, pained, practically a sigh. Commiseration it was.
The Entity had tortured Dwight before too, in many ways- It just got finished wringing him out for all he was worth to It, in fact- but It didn't torture him like... like how It did Evan. The ever present shrapnel. The gradual destruction, the changing of the physical form it kept putting him back into.
It left scars on Dwight- the paired starbursts of knotted tissue below his collarbone, his shoulder, the clustering of slashes overlaying each other on his back and chest, like ghost images, and...
He shifts his ankle a touch- the ring of scar tissue around his leg.
He didn't step in Evan's traps nearly as much as he was hooked, or struck- but the Entity seemed to think he should bear the mark of them regardless.
...It did these things to him, yes. But of course- of course Evan would be tired. Worn in, worn out. He's physically got it worse.
Dwight asked more just... to voice it, he supposes. To reach out.
He blinks at the compliment, genuinely surprised- then smiles. It's just as thin and tired as he still sounded, but... more fragile, somehow. A gossamer, delicate, fleeting touch of relief.
"Thanks. Yours is pretty nice too."
He means it as well, stated it in a sort of similarly blunt way- a compliment made statement of fact by how at ease he sounded saying it. Less like he thought of something polite to say in response, and more like he was just noting the obvious. It's the truth to him. Evan looks nice... besides the injuries that make his own fingers twitch with the want to tend them.
...If he was still living a lie- still thought he was alive- he'd then sit by Evan at a carefully measured distance out of wariness, perched on his feet tucked underneath him, like he was ready to spring away into a sprint at any second. Still so vehemently resistant to death, as if it might matter somehow.
He'd learned how he ticked quickly, adapted as they both changed bit by bit, and now… he knew how far the man could lunge like he knew the taste of his own blood. Something so innate, he wouldn't be surprised to hear it was etched into him, somewhere. Maybe the lining of the inside of his ribs, where it could make his breath catch as muscles surged to life in response.
Maybe, if he reached inside himself next time he was torn open, he could run his fingers over it.
...But, right now he doesn't really care. He'd feared dying once, feared pain- now it was just annoying. Upsetting, at the absolute worst, and maybe inconvenient. Besides that, he just came off a death. Not only is Evan randomly deciding to snatch him up and kill him unlikely, the idea of it just… doesn’t register as something he’d rather avoid.
Instead, he sits down neatly at a respectful distance- but not a "safe" one.
Rather than keeping his gaze locked on Evan keenly like he used to years ago, like a dog staring down a wolf on the edges of the pasture, he looks up into the vast, maddening abyss above...
And he shuts his eyes, with his head tilted back.
His throat is vulnerable and bare, and as he sighs, nearly silent, in some relief- the tremor in his muscles becomes a little more pronounced. He was just remade, but that didn’t mean he was remade all fresh and perfect. He’s exhausted, his body and mind overworked.
He wants to lay down. Sprawl out like a dead thing. But, for a moment, he moreso wants to bask in the quiet, and the breeze that stirs up the humid air into something fresher, cleaner. Just a bit longer.
Evan blinked dumbly at the actually genuine compliment. And the little smile. Soft and weary as it was, it was real.
"... It's alright, I guess," he returned as he averted his gaze, turning it down to his hands, which he'd dropped into his lap. In his peripheral vision, he could see Dwight sit down, back against another tree, at a notable but not wary distance.
Typically, people stayed as far away from him as possible. But not Dwight. He hadn't done that for a while, now. Sure, he was always cautious - he'd be a dilly if he wasn't - but he hadn't really been scared of Evan for... years.
It should irritate him. It irritated him when the other survivors weren't afraid, when he was treated like a joke, like something they needn't worry about, like a killer they entered a trial with and went 'oh thank god' about. But it was different with Fairfield.
He'd known this man longer than anyone else here. Even before Philly and Max, and Dwight's friends, Claudette, Meg, and Jake. It was brief, but there had been a time it was just the two of them. They'd been the first living thing the other saw when they'd entered this pseudo-Hell.
He figured Dwight knew him better than any other. The mite knew he was unlikely to be in danger right now.
Evan turned his gaze back up, watching the survivor with his head tipped back, willingly baring his throat. Freely making himself vulnerable and giving Evan the chance to lunge forward and swipe the blade by his side across that slender neck. Or to do it himself. His hands, though they felt little, itched to reach forward, to grab it, and to squeeze. To deface and ruin and break it just because he could.
He'd always broken things just because he could. Objects, people... it never mattered to him. He'd broken his knuckles on brick just as much as someone else's bones.
And here Dwight was, baring his throat, always unsure but currently fairly certain that he'd be fine, at least for long enough to rest here with little worry.
Focused intently on that display of vulnerability, Evan tore his gaze from it and instead looked back down at his twitchy hands. At the red liquid that was starting to dry and add another layer to the numerous that were caked atop his already red gloves. This red wasn't quite the same color as the blood the way his mask was. Just a smidgen more vibrant, allowing it to stand out.
... Evan wiped them off on his pantlegs and sighed, coughed, then counted blades of grass that weren't real.
. . .
But eventually, he lifted his head again. "This whole thing's bullshit," he abruptly spoke up after a long, comfortable, somewhat awkward but peaceful silence between the two. The statement was vague. General. About the anniversary event, but also everything ever.
"Ten fucking years for this," he sneered, raising a hand to gesture at their surroundings. "Dunno why It even bothered. A right boondoggle, this is."
Dwight’s eyes drift back open at the sound of Evan’s voice, deep brown irises turned black by the reflection of the darkness above. As if a shard of It had replaced the color.
The movement is slow- unsurprised. He doesn’t look back at Evan immediately after he speaks, instead briefly searching the sky above, as if he’s looking for something.
For any of It manifesting.
Then, not seeing anything but stillness in the familiar dark sky, his head tilts, listing so he can make sort-of eye contact while still leaning back.
“‘S a selfish fucking thing.” He agrees with Evan, his voice made a little breathy from the position of his throat. “Entity’s just pleased Its kept Its little experiment going this long. From our perspective, at least. Not like It really… processes time the same way we do.”
He finally looks down at his own hands with a sigh- clasping them over his knees as he pulls them up to his chest. Red leather gloved fingers lace together with ease, like he’d already broken them in to fit his hands perfectly. He probably had. Lots of work on the generators and all.
“Probably feels like everything passed by in a heartbeat to It.” he growls- bitter, low.
…Then resigned.
The brief fire of anger in him flickers out with as little fanfare as it had appeared with- and he perches his chin on his hands and knees too, as his head starts feeling too heavy. As everything feels too heavy.
“...And so here we are. Dressed up for Its little victory lap.”
He shuts his eyes again, takes a long, bracing breath- and then looks back up at the sky, lifting a middle finger to It, glaring. The same kind of look (and same exact gesture) he’d give the Entity’s claws whenever he walked up to them blocking a generator.
“It thinks It’ll live forever." he hisses, "-That It finally found the key to beating the void. That It can celebrate about it and shove it in our faces. I say fuck that, and fuck It. I hope It chokes eating Its own pride and goddamn dies.”
Ah. Hope.
Such a fickle little thing, and so… audibly not-quite-there in Dwight. He knows cursing It is useless- but… what else can he do? What other way was there to show his teeth to It?
He goes slack and quiet again, curled in on himself, energy expended. He’s angry, he’s so, goddamn tired, and he wishes he could sleep for a hundred thousand years, wake up, and find they’d all discovered the way to kill the Entity and get out. Dwight would die with It, but hey, happily ever after didn’t mean there wouldn’t be sacrifices. He’d accepted that.
He accepted that, which is why he shuts his eyes and sinks into himself just a little more. Tired. So tired.
Evan sat there and stared as Dwight went on a little spiel about The Entity. Not a single detail of it was wrong. Presumably. They still knew fuck all about the damned thing, but Dwight's guess was as good as Evan's. Even better, actually.
Evan had just been... going with the flow. Against it, sometimes, when he had the energy to fight back, but that was always beat back out of him for a while afterwards. It was Fairfield that was sort of... studying the thing. Making notes. He'd heard of the man's books, filled to the brim with mad scribbles of him trying to make sense of the nonsensical thing lording over them.
Evan had, obviously, never read them, and he never would. If telling anyone about his... struggles... wasn't the single most embarrassing thing he could think of, he might have asked Dwight to read them to him. Help him understand the thing he hadn't really tried to, but still understood better than most.
Fairfield was smart. He looked smart, he acted smart, he did smart. Evan hadn't really thought to make notes like that, but he couldn't anyway. That could be left to Dwight.
But the weight of The Entity was clearly crashing down on the little man. As it crashed down on Evan as well. As it crashed down on everyone.
Sometimes it was more bearable. Sometimes it was the only thing in existence, aside from your own suffering.
Evan watched Dwight curl in on himself and close his eyes, so small and fragile. There would be no better time to kill him than right now.
Evan stood up. He wiped his hands on his pantlegs again.
Then he approached, closing their distance-
But left his cleaver in the dirt and came near, empty-handed. Not that he needed a weapon to kill Fairfield, but he figured it'd be more reassuring for him to not have one.
The Trapper plopped himself down next to Dwight - not too close, but close enough so that if he moved about a foot further into him, his knee would knock into the man. His head was turned to Dwight, watching him with dull eyes as the weary survivor sank further into the pits of misery that this place liked to toss its inhabitants into.
Evan knew those pits better than anything else.
The weak and the weary will never survive, his old lessons piped up in the back of his head, but given how much Dwight has survived - not the trials, but still being here despite them - he'd long since deduced that they were at least partially wrong. Especially since, by that rule, Evan, worn down as he was, was also destined for death.
... Though, maybe that part was true.
Slowly, both to telegraph the movement and also from just plain hesitance, he raised a large hand and tentatively set it on Dwight's shoulder - weighing heavy on him, but not as heavy as The Entity and Its Realm, and much more present, despite Evan's lack of ability to feel Dwight beneath his palm.
"I mean and how," he responded blandly with an eye roll, turning his gaze to the gilded red fabric of his... robe thingy, which he started idly tracing the pattern of with a finger he couldn't feel either. "Though given the lack of throat, I don't think it can. Tragic."
After a second, he took his hand back off Dwight's shoulder, not wanting to linger and make things even more awkward.
"You know I'd love to bump it off myself - fuck knows I've tried. But as we've seen 'afore, trying to get this thing to give a damn about anythin' is a real trip for biscuits."
He didn’t jump in response to the sound of Evan shifting, coming closer, but his eyes did drift open to watch him get up and step over- flicking to the cleaver left behind for a moment before returning to him.
He didn’t move besides that, either. Didn’t seem to react much, besides the subtle movements of his near-black irises. Even though he knew damn well that Evan could kill him armed or not, he accepted his proximity without flinching. The action of leaving his weapon behind came across as intended- as the message that it was. He’s… almost surprised by it, though, that Evan actually approached him with such an intent. God, he really must look like hell, huh?
Then Evan lifted his hand, and… his eyes did widen a little as he realized what he was going to go through with, but they still softened dramatically as he watched Evan set his hand on his shoulder.
He blinks slowly as he feels it settle, heavy, and...
…is he insane, or foolish, to admit that it does comfort him? That he sighs as the weight on his shoulders is displaced by something realer, and somehow gentler? It doesn’t reassure him in the traditional way, not much, but. Seeing Evan reaching out to him. Wanting to offer this at all. That, that is a comfort. Years of them both changing lead to this, and though those years were terrible, though he curses the god who consumed him, who consumed all of them-
His eyes flutter shut again, and he leans into Evan’s touch minutely, for as long as it lasts. Despite it all, some of them have changed in a way that matters. Some of them are freer from themselves and others than they’ve ever had a chance to be before. And that, at least, is a relief to cling to amongst all this suffering.
He nods in response to him again, and takes a breath- it sounds like it comes to him a little easier, as his head raises.
“It bleeds. It can die. That’s… that’s what I try to remind myself of. Maybe we can’t physically rip It apart- god, as much as I wish we could- but It bleeds. It gets sick. It has to avoid starving. It might not die easy, but It. Will. Die.”
He swallows roughly, his head dipping again slightly as he does to try and hide it- but the leather of his gloves creaks a little as his fists clench instinctively. He relaxes them after a moment, but- it’s clear that his anger is coming back to the forefront of him a bit.
“...I just wish It didn’t manage to do this much. To- to gloat over us.”
He laughs, weakly, looks off somewhere else- someplace else.
“...I would’ve been thirty eight this year. I don’t know what I would… count as, anymore, if I could leave. Something else, I guess. It’s not like it matters either way, but… it’s just another thing It’s done, yeah? Another thing It got to take from everyone. Time itself.”
‘It took my life, too. My body, my mind, my soul. It took me, and now It uses me over and over and over again and I can’t even fight back- because what It wants to use me for is what I want to do. I feel It inside me and I want to rip It out but I’m so afraid there might be nothing left if I do that.’
‘Because then, all hollowed out, what use would I be of to anyone?’
…He doesn’t say that.
“When It dies,” he murmurs instead, “-I hope it hurts.”
And maybe it’s a horrible, vicious, toxic wish, a hope that rots him away- but, well, poison’s his thing at this point. Maybe, if he poisons himself enough, the Entity will choke on him.
“I know it wouldn’t matter, if It felt pain or not. But- goddamn, I still want It to feel even a sliver of what everyone’s been through because of It.”
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⚙︎ // Starter for @facelessfacadefairfield. Divider by @/cursed-carmine
THE BLACK BANQUET
Evan had been angry lately.
Sure, he was always angry, when he felt much of anything at all, but he'd been especially angry these past few days, with this new event. It was meant to something grand and special to commemorate what was apparently ten years - felt like far more, if you'd've asked him - in The Fog.
But it was really just a load of horseshit. For him, anyway.
Trials were a load of horseshit for him normally, but this was particularly bad. Survivors could turn invisible, be invincible, sprint faster than he could ever hope of going...
Though the last one didn't matter. As he always said, he didn't need to be fast, since they were just speeding right into his traps anyways. But it was still another bruise to his ego. As was every survivor that escaped. Every pallet stun. Every flashlight save. Every time he stepped in his own traps like an utter boob.
And with this event? It was happening so much more often. And the only thing he got to counteract the survivors' new abilities were... poison bottles. Like fucking Kenneth's. How insulting was that?
And he did understand. He understood that the survivors got these abilities to boost morale, give them some small shreds of hope so they don't go completely numb and Void themselves, but with this shit? Evan seriously wondered how the fuck he hadn't been voided yet.
His anger, like the kind gradually growing inside him as he went through these trials - back-to-back ones - was probably the answer.
With every failure, his blood boiled in his veins, until he was sure he had to be hot even to the touch. He started to get more aggressive, less patient, spending less time setting up and more time carving flesh with a rusted cleaver and feeling the familiar heat of blood spatter across his crusted skin.
Whenever someone got caught in his trap, he didn't just lift them out like he normally did - he instead ripped them out, the meat of their ankle sliding off of the bone as the serrated teeth dug in and tore. Their screams were satisfying sounds, as was the squelch of flesh as he carelessly tossed them onto the hooks.
He didn't get many kills that way either, but it was at least cathartic.
But even his anger didn't carry him very far. Not anymore. And especially not when The Entity was just throwing him into trial after trial after trial. He'd come out of one just to get tossed into another. Hours after hours spent walking around, spilling blood, with no moment to just rest. He hadn't stopped moving in what felt like forever.
He was starting to get worn down, exhaustion wearing at his already fucked bones. Jesus H. Christ, can't he just sit down for a moment? Murder is taxing, you know.
It did know.
So, eventually, it decided he'd finally done enough, and when the Fog enveloped him after one trial, he braced to be dumped into another, but wasn't. It looked the same as every fucking thing, just another forest, but he could feel that this wasn't a trial anymore.
Evan let out a loud groan, head tipping back in weary relief. A hand still drenched in blood rose to his face and dragged tiredly down the new horned mask he'd been given, along with a whole new outfit, for the event. He wasn't sure if the blood he'd just smeared on it was even visible, blood-red as it already was.
He wasn't quite sure what to think of said new outfit - it was very flashy compared to his usual - but he did like the mask, even if it wasn't his typical style.
But that didn't matter right now. What did matter was sitting the fuck down.
Lumbering through the muggy woods until he found a good, thick tree to rest by, he lowered himself to the dirt, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees, setting his cleaver in the grass beside him. He leaned forward so his back didn't really touch the tree, because having things touch the hooks and rebar embedded in the skin of his back and shoulders was very much not fun, he'd learned.
Raising a hand to prop his chin up, he let out a deep, heavy sigh, and shut his eyes - just sitting there, enjoying the rare quiet, and the gentle brush of a soft, cool breeze against his bared skin.
Finally, he could breathe.
As much as his fucked up, coal dust lined lungs allowed, anyway.
Dwight has been saying he's been here a decade.
He knew that, that it was a fact- but... it's different, to see it. To see IT, the Entity Itself, confirming it in the form of this massive, grand, faux formal event. It even dressed him up for the occasion- he'd come to in a trial wearing a suit It must have pulled from some unknowable corner of Its Self, because he'd never even seen one like it before.
It wasn't the worst thing It had dressed him in, but... it still made a part of himself writhe in nauseated, helpless anger. It already took so much from him- but It went ahead and tried to take more, sometimes. It took choice. It took self. It took identity.
It went further, hungered more- and It treated him like a doll.
He bites the inside of his cheek bloody so his jaw doesn't tremble. He's used to it, he tells himself, trying to stifle that awful sense of violation so he doesn't just, absolutely break down in a fit of insensate rage.
...He can feel Its thought-like currents running through the fabric of Everything, of Itself- a riptide of self-satisfaction, sadism, coursing through that incomprehensible filter of what might count as Its mind. If he wanted to simplify It- It was enjoying Itself. Prideful that It had managed to keep this set of experiments, of livestock, un-voided for this long, this all had manifested from It in a blossoming of stored energy.
He's come to theorize that the banquet wasn't "for them"- and that's why it fucking sucked, and continued to fucking suck even once he got used to it. No, the real banquet... was them. All of them. Killer and survivor alike. That's why It's putting him through his paces so hard. he hasn't been in back-to-back-to-back trials like this in a hot second, but he certainly hasn't missed it. Ten hours of nothing but running and fighting, his watch says.
Apparently, that had been enough for the moment, because the Entity finally dropped him in Its interstitial forest after It finished putting him back together from the last trial. He'd gotten everyone out but himself. Sacrificed on a basement hook.
He breathes with a restored ribcage, feels his un-impaled abdominal muscles shivering and threatening to cramp around remembered intrusions before they notice he's not skewered anymore.
Once his mind catches on to the fact he's not in a trial as well, and not by a campfire either... he starts to slink in a random direction, hoping to find a place to just. Lay down. Feel more like the corpse that he is where none of his survivors can see him looking like it.
Ten hours, for ten years. Ten years since he was taken.
...Ten years since a group of people brought him into those woods on false pretenses. And though he'd been nervous, uncomfortable, paranoid- when hadn't he been? He saw yet more eyes viewing him as little more than a stepping stone on the way to their own greatness- but when hadn't he worried about that? When hadn't he been paranoid to the point of delusion?
But he shouldn't have ignored it. He had recognized it. He shouldn't have shirked his instincts yet again. He- he saw he was nothing to them in that fateful moment, just flesh, to drug, to carve, to use-
-but he'd dipped his head, curled in his shoulders, squeezed his knees together, then. Trying to ignore that fear gnawing at the bottom of his heart.
...Before he knew what happened, before he realized after Taurie had arrived that those people must have been some of the Entity's cultists sacrificing him, he'd tried to keep himself from going too far down the path of wondering what exactly they'd done to him. Fearing what he might theorize, or worse, possibly remember.
Now, it just made him feel even more tired to think about than he already had been. And he'd been very, very tired, for a long, long time.
He sees a decently thick tree eventually, one that'd easily swallow up the dark, small shadow that was his silhouette, and he pads up to it- but he freezes mid-stride as some instinct in him- even exhausted as it is- perks up.
...He's a little wary of checking- but he steps around the tree regardless, and sees-
"Evan?"
He winces a little behind the mask he'd been given at just how tired, and shredded out his voice is. Then, reminded he was wearing the thing, he takes it off, and replaces it with his glasses. As much as he liked covering up his face... something about seeing Evan makes him want to take it off. Put them back where they started, maybe, when it was just them, confused, wary, trying to figure out both what was going on... and who the other man was.
He looks tired.
They both look tired.
...He's so...
"...Are you as exhausted as I am?"
Asking, in that indirectly direct way, what they'll be doing this time. Dwight knows him well enough to read whatever response he's given in reply to that- be it a "fuck off", in a manner of speaking, or an agreement. An invitation to commiserate, be it in silence or otherwise.
...He's known him, long enough, to tell.
Evan couldn't help but startle a bit at the unexpected call of his name - yanked out of the peace and the silence by the presence of another. But it was Fairfield. Peaceful and silent enough. He could handle small talk with him, maybe.
Disgruntled, the Trapper dropped his hand from his chin and straightened his back, looking up (hardly) at Fairfield from his seat on the ground. The man held a mask at his side in one hand - not dissimilar to Evan's new one, just white and with a different face - and he was also in a similar outfit. Some of the survivors he'd seen had them too, but he'd yet to see Dwight's, 'til now.
He'd yet to see the man the whole event so far, actually. They'd been seeing less and less of one another over the years - he wasn't sure if it was because of the growing roster of people to face, or if The Entity was doing some kinda bullshit to make it that way for some reason.
He didn't know.
He didn't care.
... Fairfield sounded thin. Like a threadbare cloth - worn until it withered away. Not too different to a working man's boots, slowly falling apart under extensive abuse. Though usually those were loved to death. Dwight just seemed... plain dead. No love involved. That wasn't really a thing here.
But he looked worn, too, looking at his face - the man having taken off the mask to allow such.
Evan wouldn't return the favor.
But the both of them were haggard, beat down to the bone. That was something the two could share, if not faces.
He scoffed and turned his head. "Surprised you even had to ask."
His voice came out unintentionally rough - a bit moreso than usual. It had been a hot moment since he'd really spoken. He'd always been a rather quiet man if he wasn't fired up about something, and there wasn't much to talk about during trials. Not with most people, anyway. Some made for a good quick chat while he had them over his shoulder. Fairfield included, sometimes, even if it was mostly just exchanges of a few words.
Most of which tended to be insults or swears.
He cleared his throat, then visibly looked Fairfield up and down a moment, gaze raking over the gilded red fabric. "... Keen suit, kid," he commented blandly, but at least semi-sincerely. It did look good, after all.
...Did everyone have metal snakes wrapped around them, or was that just him and Dwight? Evan couldn't recall - he didn't often pay much attention to what survivors wore besides being able to identify who was who in a trial.
He answered Evan's scoff with a humorless one of his own, and a short nod of agreement- yeah...
"...Figures."
His tone is dull, pained, practically a sigh. Commiseration it was.
The Entity had tortured Dwight before too, in many ways- It just got finished wringing him out for all he was worth to It, in fact- but It didn't torture him like... like how It did Evan. The ever present shrapnel. The gradual destruction, the changing of the physical form it kept putting him back into.
It left scars on Dwight- the paired starbursts of knotted tissue below his collarbone, his shoulder, the clustering of slashes overlaying each other on his back and chest, like ghost images, and...
He shifts his ankle a touch- the ring of scar tissue around his leg.
He didn't step in Evan's traps nearly as much as he was hooked, or struck- but the Entity seemed to think he should bear the mark of them regardless.
...It did these things to him, yes. But of course- of course Evan would be tired. Worn in, worn out. He's physically got it worse.
Dwight asked more just... to voice it, he supposes. To reach out.
He blinks at the compliment, genuinely surprised- then smiles. It's just as thin and tired as he still sounded, but... more fragile, somehow. A gossamer, delicate, fleeting touch of relief.
"Thanks. Yours is pretty nice too."
He means it as well, stated it in a sort of similarly blunt way- a compliment made statement of fact by how at ease he sounded saying it. Less like he thought of something polite to say in response, and more like he was just noting the obvious. It's the truth to him. Evan looks nice... besides the injuries that make his own fingers twitch with the want to tend them.
...If he was still living a lie- still thought he was alive- he'd then sit by Evan at a carefully measured distance out of wariness, perched on his feet tucked underneath him, like he was ready to spring away into a sprint at any second. Still so vehemently resistant to death, as if it might matter somehow.
He'd learned how he ticked quickly, adapted as they both changed bit by bit, and now… he knew how far the man could lunge like he knew the taste of his own blood. Something so innate, he wouldn't be surprised to hear it was etched into him, somewhere. Maybe the lining of the inside of his ribs, where it could make his breath catch as muscles surged to life in response.
Maybe, if he reached inside himself next time he was torn open, he could run his fingers over it.
...But, right now he doesn't really care. He'd feared dying once, feared pain- now it was just annoying. Upsetting, at the absolute worst, and maybe inconvenient. Besides that, he just came off a death. Not only is Evan randomly deciding to snatch him up and kill him unlikely, the idea of it just… doesn’t register as something he’d rather avoid.
Instead, he sits down neatly at a respectful distance- but not a "safe" one.
Rather than keeping his gaze locked on Evan keenly like he used to years ago, like a dog staring down a wolf on the edges of the pasture, he looks up into the vast, maddening abyss above...
And he shuts his eyes, with his head tilted back.
His throat is vulnerable and bare, and as he sighs, nearly silent, in some relief- the tremor in his muscles becomes a little more pronounced. He was just remade, but that didn’t mean he was remade all fresh and perfect. He’s exhausted, his body and mind overworked.
He wants to lay down. Sprawl out like a dead thing. But, for a moment, he moreso wants to bask in the quiet, and the breeze that stirs up the humid air into something fresher, cleaner. Just a bit longer.
Evan blinked dumbly at the actually genuine compliment. And the little smile. Soft and weary as it was, it was real.
"... It's alright, I guess," he returned as he averted his gaze, turning it down to his hands, which he'd dropped into his lap. In his peripheral vision, he could see Dwight sit down, back against another tree, at a notable but not wary distance.
Typically, people stayed as far away from him as possible. But not Dwight. He hadn't done that for a while, now. Sure, he was always cautious - he'd be a dilly if he wasn't - but he hadn't really been scared of Evan for... years.
It should irritate him. It irritated him when the other survivors weren't afraid, when he was treated like a joke, like something they needn't worry about, like a killer they entered a trial with and went 'oh thank god' about. But it was different with Fairfield.
He'd known this man longer than anyone else here. Even before Philly and Max, and Dwight's friends, Claudette, Meg, and Jake. It was brief, but there had been a time it was just the two of them. They'd been the first living thing the other saw when they'd entered this pseudo-Hell.
He figured Dwight knew him better than any other. The mite knew he was unlikely to be in danger right now.
Evan turned his gaze back up, watching the survivor with his head tipped back, willingly baring his throat. Freely making himself vulnerable and giving Evan the chance to lunge forward and swipe the blade by his side across that slender neck. Or to do it himself. His hands, though they felt little, itched to reach forward, to grab it, and to squeeze. To deface and ruin and break it just because he could.
He'd always broken things just because he could. Objects, people... it never mattered to him. He'd broken his knuckles on brick just as much as someone else's bones.
And here Dwight was, baring his throat, always unsure but currently fairly certain that he'd be fine, at least for long enough to rest here with little worry.
Focused intently on that display of vulnerability, Evan tore his gaze from it and instead looked back down at his twitchy hands. At the red liquid that was starting to dry and add another layer to the numerous that were caked atop his already red gloves. This red wasn't quite the same color as the blood the way his mask was. Just a smidgen more vibrant, allowing it to stand out.
... Evan wiped them off on his pantlegs and sighed, coughed, then counted blades of grass that weren't real.
. . .
But eventually, he lifted his head again. "This whole thing's bullshit," he abruptly spoke up after a long, comfortable, somewhat awkward but peaceful silence between the two. The statement was vague. General. About the anniversary event, but also everything ever.
"Ten fucking years for this," he sneered, raising a hand to gesture at their surroundings. "Dunno why It even bothered. A right boondoggle, this is."
Dwight’s eyes drift back open at the sound of Evan’s voice, deep brown irises turned black by the reflection of the darkness above. As if a shard of It had replaced the color.
The movement is slow- unsurprised. He doesn’t look back at Evan immediately after he speaks, instead briefly searching the sky above, as if he’s looking for something.
For any of It manifesting.
Then, not seeing anything but stillness in the familiar dark sky, his head tilts, listing so he can make sort-of eye contact while still leaning back.
“‘S a selfish fucking thing.” He agrees with Evan, his voice made a little breathy from the position of his throat. “Entity’s just pleased Its kept Its little experiment going this long. From our perspective, at least. Not like It really… processes time the same way we do.”
He finally looks down at his own hands with a sigh- clasping them over his knees as he pulls them up to his chest. Red leather gloved fingers lace together with ease, like he’d already broken them in to fit his hands perfectly. He probably had. Lots of work on the generators and all.
“Probably feels like everything passed by in a heartbeat to It.” he growls- bitter, low.
…Then resigned.
The brief fire of anger in him flickers out with as little fanfare as it had appeared with- and he perches his chin on his hands and knees too, as his head starts feeling too heavy. As everything feels too heavy.
“...And so here we are. Dressed up for Its little victory lap.”
He shuts his eyes again, takes a long, bracing breath- and then looks back up at the sky, lifting a middle finger to It, glaring. The same kind of look (and same exact gesture) he’d give the Entity’s claws whenever he walked up to them blocking a generator.
“It thinks It’ll live forever." he hisses, "-That It finally found the key to beating the void. That It can celebrate about it and shove it in our faces. I say fuck that, and fuck It. I hope It chokes eating Its own pride and goddamn dies.”
Ah. Hope.
Such a fickle little thing, and so… audibly not-quite-there in Dwight. He knows cursing It is useless- but… what else can he do? What other way was there to show his teeth to It?
He goes slack and quiet again, curled in on himself, energy expended. He’s angry, he’s so, goddamn tired, and he wishes he could sleep for a hundred thousand years, wake up, and find they’d all discovered the way to kill the Entity and get out. Dwight would die with It, but hey, happily ever after didn’t mean there wouldn’t be sacrifices. He’d accepted that.
He accepted that, which is why he shuts his eyes and sinks into himself just a little more. Tired. So tired.
⚙︎ // Starter for @facelessfacadefairfield. Divider by @/cursed-carmine
THE BLACK BANQUET
Evan had been angry lately.
Sure, he was always angry, when he felt much of anything at all, but he'd been especially angry these past few days, with this new event. It was meant to something grand and special to commemorate what was apparently ten years - felt like far more, if you'd've asked him - in The Fog.
But it was really just a load of horseshit. For him, anyway.
Trials were a load of horseshit for him normally, but this was particularly bad. Survivors could turn invisible, be invincible, sprint faster than he could ever hope of going...
Though the last one didn't matter. As he always said, he didn't need to be fast, since they were just speeding right into his traps anyways. But it was still another bruise to his ego. As was every survivor that escaped. Every pallet stun. Every flashlight save. Every time he stepped in his own traps like an utter boob.
And with this event? It was happening so much more often. And the only thing he got to counteract the survivors' new abilities were... poison bottles. Like fucking Kenneth's. How insulting was that?
And he did understand. He understood that the survivors got these abilities to boost morale, give them some small shreds of hope so they don't go completely numb and Void themselves, but with this shit? Evan seriously wondered how the fuck he hadn't been voided yet.
His anger, like the kind gradually growing inside him as he went through these trials - back-to-back ones - was probably the answer.
With every failure, his blood boiled in his veins, until he was sure he had to be hot even to the touch. He started to get more aggressive, less patient, spending less time setting up and more time carving flesh with a rusted cleaver and feeling the familiar heat of blood spatter across his crusted skin.
Whenever someone got caught in his trap, he didn't just lift them out like he normally did - he instead ripped them out, the meat of their ankle sliding off of the bone as the serrated teeth dug in and tore. Their screams were satisfying sounds, as was the squelch of flesh as he carelessly tossed them onto the hooks.
He didn't get many kills that way either, but it was at least cathartic.
But even his anger didn't carry him very far. Not anymore. And especially not when The Entity was just throwing him into trial after trial after trial. He'd come out of one just to get tossed into another. Hours after hours spent walking around, spilling blood, with no moment to just rest. He hadn't stopped moving in what felt like forever.
He was starting to get worn down, exhaustion wearing at his already fucked bones. Jesus H. Christ, can't he just sit down for a moment? Murder is taxing, you know.
It did know.
So, eventually, it decided he'd finally done enough, and when the Fog enveloped him after one trial, he braced to be dumped into another, but wasn't. It looked the same as every fucking thing, just another forest, but he could feel that this wasn't a trial anymore.
Evan let out a loud groan, head tipping back in weary relief. A hand still drenched in blood rose to his face and dragged tiredly down the new horned mask he'd been given, along with a whole new outfit, for the event. He wasn't sure if the blood he'd just smeared on it was even visible, blood-red as it already was.
He wasn't quite sure what to think of said new outfit - it was very flashy compared to his usual - but he did like the mask, even if it wasn't his typical style.
But that didn't matter right now. What did matter was sitting the fuck down.
Lumbering through the muggy woods until he found a good, thick tree to rest by, he lowered himself to the dirt, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees, setting his cleaver in the grass beside him. He leaned forward so his back didn't really touch the tree, because having things touch the hooks and rebar embedded in the skin of his back and shoulders was very much not fun, he'd learned.
Raising a hand to prop his chin up, he let out a deep, heavy sigh, and shut his eyes - just sitting there, enjoying the rare quiet, and the gentle brush of a soft, cool breeze against his bared skin.
Finally, he could breathe.
As much as his fucked up, coal dust lined lungs allowed, anyway.
Dwight has been saying he's been here a decade.
He knew that, that it was a fact- but... it's different, to see it. To see IT, the Entity Itself, confirming it in the form of this massive, grand, faux formal event. It even dressed him up for the occasion- he'd come to in a trial wearing a suit It must have pulled from some unknowable corner of Its Self, because he'd never even seen one like it before.
It wasn't the worst thing It had dressed him in, but... it still made a part of himself writhe in nauseated, helpless anger. It already took so much from him- but It went ahead and tried to take more, sometimes. It took choice. It took self. It took identity.
It went further, hungered more- and It treated him like a doll.
He bites the inside of his cheek bloody so his jaw doesn't tremble. He's used to it, he tells himself, trying to stifle that awful sense of violation so he doesn't just, absolutely break down in a fit of insensate rage.
...He can feel Its thought-like currents running through the fabric of Everything, of Itself- a riptide of self-satisfaction, sadism, coursing through that incomprehensible filter of what might count as Its mind. If he wanted to simplify It- It was enjoying Itself. Prideful that It had managed to keep this set of experiments, of livestock, un-voided for this long, this all had manifested from It in a blossoming of stored energy.
He's come to theorize that the banquet wasn't "for them"- and that's why it fucking sucked, and continued to fucking suck even once he got used to it. No, the real banquet... was them. All of them. Killer and survivor alike. That's why It's putting him through his paces so hard. he hasn't been in back-to-back-to-back trials like this in a hot second, but he certainly hasn't missed it. Ten hours of nothing but running and fighting, his watch says.
Apparently, that had been enough for the moment, because the Entity finally dropped him in Its interstitial forest after It finished putting him back together from the last trial. He'd gotten everyone out but himself. Sacrificed on a basement hook.
He breathes with a restored ribcage, feels his un-impaled abdominal muscles shivering and threatening to cramp around remembered intrusions before they notice he's not skewered anymore.
Once his mind catches on to the fact he's not in a trial as well, and not by a campfire either... he starts to slink in a random direction, hoping to find a place to just. Lay down. Feel more like the corpse that he is where none of his survivors can see him looking like it.
Ten hours, for ten years. Ten years since he was taken.
...Ten years since a group of people brought him into those woods on false pretenses. And though he'd been nervous, uncomfortable, paranoid- when hadn't he been? He saw yet more eyes viewing him as little more than a stepping stone on the way to their own greatness- but when hadn't he worried about that? When hadn't he been paranoid to the point of delusion?
But he shouldn't have ignored it. He had recognized it. He shouldn't have shirked his instincts yet again. He- he saw he was nothing to them in that fateful moment, just flesh, to drug, to carve, to use-
-but he'd dipped his head, curled in his shoulders, squeezed his knees together, then. Trying to ignore that fear gnawing at the bottom of his heart.
...Before he knew what happened, before he realized after Taurie had arrived that those people must have been some of the Entity's cultists sacrificing him, he'd tried to keep himself from going too far down the path of wondering what exactly they'd done to him. Fearing what he might theorize, or worse, possibly remember.
Now, it just made him feel even more tired to think about than he already had been. And he'd been very, very tired, for a long, long time.
He sees a decently thick tree eventually, one that'd easily swallow up the dark, small shadow that was his silhouette, and he pads up to it- but he freezes mid-stride as some instinct in him- even exhausted as it is- perks up.
...He's a little wary of checking- but he steps around the tree regardless, and sees-
"Evan?"
He winces a little behind the mask he'd been given at just how tired, and shredded out his voice is. Then, reminded he was wearing the thing, he takes it off, and replaces it with his glasses. As much as he liked covering up his face... something about seeing Evan makes him want to take it off. Put them back where they started, maybe, when it was just them, confused, wary, trying to figure out both what was going on... and who the other man was.
He looks tired.
They both look tired.
...He's so...
"...Are you as exhausted as I am?"
Asking, in that indirectly direct way, what they'll be doing this time. Dwight knows him well enough to read whatever response he's given in reply to that- be it a "fuck off", in a manner of speaking, or an agreement. An invitation to commiserate, be it in silence or otherwise.
...He's known him, long enough, to tell.
Evan couldn't help but startle a bit at the unexpected call of his name - yanked out of the peace and the silence by the presence of another. But it was Fairfield. Peaceful and silent enough. He could handle small talk with him, maybe.
Disgruntled, the Trapper dropped his hand from his chin and straightened his back, looking up (hardly) at Fairfield from his seat on the ground. The man held a mask at his side in one hand - not dissimilar to Evan's new one, just white and with a different face - and he was also in a similar outfit. Some of the survivors he'd seen had them too, but he'd yet to see Dwight's, 'til now.
He'd yet to see the man the whole event so far, actually. They'd been seeing less and less of one another over the years - he wasn't sure if it was because of the growing roster of people to face, or if The Entity was doing some kinda bullshit to make it that way for some reason.
He didn't know.
He didn't care.
... Fairfield sounded thin. Like a threadbare cloth - worn until it withered away. Not too different to a working man's boots, slowly falling apart under extensive abuse. Though usually those were loved to death. Dwight just seemed... plain dead. No love involved. That wasn't really a thing here.
But he looked worn, too, looking at his face - the man having taken off the mask to allow such.
Evan wouldn't return the favor.
But the both of them were haggard, beat down to the bone. That was something the two could share, if not faces.
He scoffed and turned his head. "Surprised you even had to ask."
His voice came out unintentionally rough - a bit moreso than usual. It had been a hot moment since he'd really spoken. He'd always been a rather quiet man if he wasn't fired up about something, and there wasn't much to talk about during trials. Not with most people, anyway. Some made for a good quick chat while he had them over his shoulder. Fairfield included, sometimes, even if it was mostly just exchanges of a few words.
Most of which tended to be insults or swears.
He cleared his throat, then visibly looked Fairfield up and down a moment, gaze raking over the gilded red fabric. "... Keen suit, kid," he commented blandly, but at least semi-sincerely. It did look good, after all.
...Did everyone have metal snakes wrapped around them, or was that just him and Dwight? Evan couldn't recall - he didn't often pay much attention to what survivors wore besides being able to identify who was who in a trial.
He answered Evan's scoff with a humorless one of his own, and a short nod of agreement- yeah...
"...Figures."
His tone is dull, pained, practically a sigh. Commiseration it was.
The Entity had tortured Dwight before too, in many ways- It just got finished wringing him out for all he was worth to It, in fact- but It didn't torture him like... like how It did Evan. The ever present shrapnel. The gradual destruction, the changing of the physical form it kept putting him back into.
It left scars on Dwight- the paired starbursts of knotted tissue below his collarbone, his shoulder, the clustering of slashes overlaying each other on his back and chest, like ghost images, and...
He shifts his ankle a touch- the ring of scar tissue around his leg.
He didn't step in Evan's traps nearly as much as he was hooked, or struck- but the Entity seemed to think he should bear the mark of them regardless.
...It did these things to him, yes. But of course- of course Evan would be tired. Worn in, worn out. He's physically got it worse.
Dwight asked more just... to voice it, he supposes. To reach out.
He blinks at the compliment, genuinely surprised- then smiles. It's just as thin and tired as he still sounded, but... more fragile, somehow. A gossamer, delicate, fleeting touch of relief.
"Thanks. Yours is pretty nice too."
He means it as well, stated it in a sort of similarly blunt way- a compliment made statement of fact by how at ease he sounded saying it. Less like he thought of something polite to say in response, and more like he was just noting the obvious. It's the truth to him. Evan looks nice... besides the injuries that make his own fingers twitch with the want to tend them.
...If he was still living a lie- still thought he was alive- he'd then sit by Evan at a carefully measured distance out of wariness, perched on his feet tucked underneath him, like he was ready to spring away into a sprint at any second. Still so vehemently resistant to death, as if it might matter somehow.
He'd learned how he ticked quickly, adapted as they both changed bit by bit, and now… he knew how far the man could lunge like he knew the taste of his own blood. Something so innate, he wouldn't be surprised to hear it was etched into him, somewhere. Maybe the lining of the inside of his ribs, where it could make his breath catch as muscles surged to life in response.
Maybe, if he reached inside himself next time he was torn open, he could run his fingers over it.
...But, right now he doesn't really care. He'd feared dying once, feared pain- now it was just annoying. Upsetting, at the absolute worst, and maybe inconvenient. Besides that, he just came off a death. Not only is Evan randomly deciding to snatch him up and kill him unlikely, the idea of it just… doesn’t register as something he’d rather avoid.
Instead, he sits down neatly at a respectful distance- but not a "safe" one.
Rather than keeping his gaze locked on Evan keenly like he used to years ago, like a dog staring down a wolf on the edges of the pasture, he looks up into the vast, maddening abyss above...
And he shuts his eyes, with his head tilted back.
His throat is vulnerable and bare, and as he sighs, nearly silent, in some relief- the tremor in his muscles becomes a little more pronounced. He was just remade, but that didn’t mean he was remade all fresh and perfect. He’s exhausted, his body and mind overworked.
He wants to lay down. Sprawl out like a dead thing. But, for a moment, he moreso wants to bask in the quiet, and the breeze that stirs up the humid air into something fresher, cleaner. Just a bit longer.
⚙︎ // Starter for @facelessfacadefairfield. Divider by @/cursed-carmine
THE BLACK BANQUET
Evan had been angry lately.
Sure, he was always angry, when he felt much of anything at all, but he'd been especially angry these past few days, with this new event. It was meant to something grand and special to commemorate what was apparently ten years - felt like far more, if you'd've asked him - in The Fog.
But it was really just a load of horseshit. For him, anyway.
Trials were a load of horseshit for him normally, but this was particularly bad. Survivors could turn invisible, be invincible, sprint faster than he could ever hope of going...
Though the last one didn't matter. As he always said, he didn't need to be fast, since they were just speeding right into his traps anyways. But it was still another bruise to his ego. As was every survivor that escaped. Every pallet stun. Every flashlight save. Every time he stepped in his own traps like an utter boob.
And with this event? It was happening so much more often. And the only thing he got to counteract the survivors' new abilities were... poison bottles. Like fucking Kenneth's. How insulting was that?
And he did understand. He understood that the survivors got these abilities to boost morale, give them some small shreds of hope so they don't go completely numb and Void themselves, but with this shit? Evan seriously wondered how the fuck he hadn't been voided yet.
His anger, like the kind gradually growing inside him as he went through these trials - back-to-back ones - was probably the answer.
With every failure, his blood boiled in his veins, until he was sure he had to be hot even to the touch. He started to get more aggressive, less patient, spending less time setting up and more time carving flesh with a rusted cleaver and feeling the familiar heat of blood spatter across his crusted skin.
Whenever someone got caught in his trap, he didn't just lift them out like he normally did - he instead ripped them out, the meat of their ankle sliding off of the bone as the serrated teeth dug in and tore. Their screams were satisfying sounds, as was the squelch of flesh as he carelessly tossed them onto the hooks.
He didn't get many kills that way either, but it was at least cathartic.
But even his anger didn't carry him very far. Not anymore. And especially not when The Entity was just throwing him into trial after trial after trial. He'd come out of one just to get tossed into another. Hours after hours spent walking around, spilling blood, with no moment to just rest. He hadn't stopped moving in what felt like forever.
He was starting to get worn down, exhaustion wearing at his already fucked bones. Jesus H. Christ, can't he just sit down for a moment? Murder is taxing, you know.
It did know.
So, eventually, it decided he'd finally done enough, and when the Fog enveloped him after one trial, he braced to be dumped into another, but wasn't. It looked the same as every fucking thing, just another forest, but he could feel that this wasn't a trial anymore.
Evan let out a loud groan, head tipping back in weary relief. A hand still drenched in blood rose to his face and dragged tiredly down the new horned mask he'd been given, along with a whole new outfit, for the event. He wasn't sure if the blood he'd just smeared on it was even visible, blood-red as it already was.
He wasn't quite sure what to think of said new outfit - it was very flashy compared to his usual - but he did like the mask, even if it wasn't his typical style.
But that didn't matter right now. What did matter was sitting the fuck down.
Lumbering through the muggy woods until he found a good, thick tree to rest by, he lowered himself to the dirt, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees, setting his cleaver in the grass beside him. He leaned forward so his back didn't really touch the tree, because having things touch the hooks and rebar embedded in the skin of his back and shoulders was very much not fun, he'd learned.
Raising a hand to prop his chin up, he let out a deep, heavy sigh, and shut his eyes - just sitting there, enjoying the rare quiet, and the gentle brush of a soft, cool breeze against his bared skin.
Finally, he could breathe.
As much as his fucked up, coal dust lined lungs allowed, anyway.
Dwight has been saying he's been here a decade.
He knew that, that it was a fact- but... it's different, to see it. To see IT, the Entity Itself, confirming it in the form of this massive, grand, faux formal event. It even dressed him up for the occasion- he'd come to in a trial wearing a suit It must have pulled from some unknowable corner of Its Self, because he'd never even seen one like it before.
It wasn't the worst thing It had dressed him in, but... it still made a part of himself writhe in nauseated, helpless anger. It already took so much from him- but It went ahead and tried to take more, sometimes. It took choice. It took self. It took identity.
It went further, hungered more- and It treated him like a doll.
He bites the inside of his cheek bloody so his jaw doesn't tremble. He's used to it, he tells himself, trying to stifle that awful sense of violation so he doesn't just, absolutely break down in a fit of insensate rage.
...He can feel Its thought-like currents running through the fabric of Everything, of Itself- a riptide of self-satisfaction, sadism, coursing through that incomprehensible filter of what might count as Its mind. If he wanted to simplify It- It was enjoying Itself. Prideful that It had managed to keep this set of experiments, of livestock, un-voided for this long, this all had manifested from It in a blossoming of stored energy.
He's come to theorize that the banquet wasn't "for them"- and that's why it fucking sucked, and continued to fucking suck even once he got used to it. No, the real banquet... was them. All of them. Killer and survivor alike. That's why It's putting him through his paces so hard. he hasn't been in back-to-back-to-back trials like this in a hot second, but he certainly hasn't missed it. Ten hours of nothing but running and fighting, his watch says.
Apparently, that had been enough for the moment, because the Entity finally dropped him in Its interstitial forest after It finished putting him back together from the last trial. He'd gotten everyone out but himself. Sacrificed on a basement hook.
He breathes with a restored ribcage, feels his un-impaled abdominal muscles shivering and threatening to cramp around remembered intrusions before they notice he's not skewered anymore.
Once his mind catches on to the fact he's not in a trial as well, and not by a campfire either... he starts to slink in a random direction, hoping to find a place to just. Lay down. Feel more like the corpse that he is where none of his survivors can see him looking like it.
Ten hours, for ten years. Ten years since he was taken.
...Ten years since a group of people brought him into those woods on false pretenses. And though he'd been nervous, uncomfortable, paranoid- when hadn't he been? He saw yet more eyes viewing him as little more than a stepping stone on the way to their own greatness- but when hadn't he worried about that? When hadn't he been paranoid to the point of delusion?
But he shouldn't have ignored it. He had recognized it. He shouldn't have shirked his instincts yet again. He- he saw he was nothing to them in that fateful moment, just flesh, to drug, to carve, to use-
-but he'd dipped his head, curled in his shoulders, squeezed his knees together, then. Trying to ignore that fear gnawing at the bottom of his heart.
...Before he knew what happened, before he realized after Taurie had arrived that those people must have been some of the Entity's cultists sacrificing him, he'd tried to keep himself from going too far down the path of wondering what exactly they'd done to him. Fearing what he might theorize, or worse, possibly remember.
Now, it just made him feel even more tired to think about than he already had been. And he'd been very, very tired, for a long, long time.
He sees a decently thick tree eventually, one that'd easily swallow up the dark, small shadow that was his silhouette, and he pads up to it- but he freezes mid-stride as some instinct in him- even exhausted as it is- perks up.
...He's a little wary of checking- but he steps around the tree regardless, and sees-
"Evan?"
He winces a little behind the mask he'd been given at just how tired, and shredded out his voice is. Then, reminded he was wearing the thing, he takes it off, and replaces it with his glasses. As much as he liked covering up his face... something about seeing Evan makes him want to take it off. Put them back where they started, maybe, when it was just them, confused, wary, trying to figure out both what was going on... and who the other man was.
He looks tired.
They both look tired.
...He's so...
"...Are you as exhausted as I am?"
Asking, in that indirectly direct way, what they'll be doing this time. Dwight knows him well enough to read whatever response he's given in reply to that- be it a "fuck off", in a manner of speaking, or an agreement. An invitation to commiserate, be it in silence or otherwise.
...He's known him, long enough, to tell.
Dead By Daylight Evan "The Trapper" MacMillan roleplay blog. Created Oct. 25th, 2025.
"... H'roo. This is Evan MacMillan speaking, from within The Fog.
I've been here a long... long time. Longer'n any of the others you're more used to seein'. Long enough to be unrecognizable to myself, long enough to memorize the sound of everyone's screams, and long enough to never be able to get the red stain of blood off my hands.
But that's enough of that - that's all y'really need to know, kid.
Just stay outta my way, you hear? You may be faster'n me, but I don't need to be fast with what you'll run yourself into. Hapless maggot."
IᑎᖴOᖇᗰᗩTIOᑎ
Mature topics warning.
All are welcome to interact, including OCs. My DMs are also open.
Evan is from the 1930s - specifically, born 1897 and taken 1935, so he is stuck at 38 years old. Mun is NOT from the 1930s and may get specific details about the era wrong... I can just chalk it up to Evan's memory issues.
Mun is all pronouns.
Evan is 6'4", and also fat, because I say so. Got some art of his build that you can reference from.
Evan is horribly dyslexic and never properly learned to read, so any communication he does over this app is heard by him and responded through a radio he repaired.
Outside of trials, the MacMillan Estate maps are of course all combined into one, but he still doesn't have the manor. He has a forge, and he does have a spot in the foundry that he sleeps in, but he doesn't have a proper house.
Sometimes slow on replies. I have 8 gazillion blogs to tend to.
TᗩG ᒪIᔕT
#A radio transmission -- ask responses
#Muscle and blood -- solo posts
#To you with stained hands -- literate roleplay writing
#Ask meme response
#Reblog
#Ooc post
Woof, this is a doozy, because I didn't properly tag stuff before. This was my first RP blog ever, in my defense, and I've learned a lot since I started this one. So... organization starts from now! Yikes.
ᑎᗩᗰEᗪ ᗩᑎOᑎᔕ
TBD
ᗯᖇITIᑎG ᑭᗩᖇTᑎEᖇᔕ
TBD
TᕼᖇEᗩᗪᔕ (Iᑎ ᒪOᖇE OᖇᗪEᖇ)
TBD
ᗯᖇITIᑎG ᔕᗩᗰᑭᒪE
After a shit fucking trial ("wasn't that every trial nowadays?" a voice in the back of his head supplied) Evan just needed a goddamn break.
… Well, he always did. But right now, he didn't need sleep, or just to have a sit down. No, he needed booze. Some bilge water fucking booze. It had to taste rank, go down like slime, and leave him passed out face-down on the counter, or he didn't want it.
And he didn't have any in his own place, unfortunately - as much as he wanted some.
So after a brief moment to cool down a bit at the estate, he stepped out and walked through the trees to the very edge, where an oppressive black Fog curled at trunks and branches, its dark tendrils curling and seeping out of the abyss and reaching toward him like otherworldly fingers.
He walked into them, letting the Fog embrace him and take him where he wanted to go.
… And, thankfully, it actually listened - as when he could see again, he was in Glenvale and there were no generators in sight. So it hadn't just thrown him into another trial, for the time being. Perfect.
Evan lumbered over to the run-down saloon and walked inside, boots thudding against the wood floorboards and his weight making them groan in protest.
Quinn was there, sat at a table and tending to his gun-spear-thing. Evan stared for a moment in silence before speaking up.
"… Y'got drinks," he said. Half a question, half a statement.
I MISS THE MASQUERADE I MISS TRYKS THIS NEW EVENT IS SO BADDDDDDDD AUUUGGHHHH
Unknown came back the first day completely covered in mashed potatoes and frosting. When I asked it what happened, it told me the other survivors threw food at it.
This isn’t even accounting for everything my murder hobo boyfriends have been ranting about. Sure, going invisible is fun and novel the first couple of times, but now, I can’t believe I’m admitting this, I feel bad every time like, Susie from the Legion or the poor Demogorgon lose track of me just because I decided to stuff my face with food of questionable quality and unsatisfying flavor. Demo makes the saddest dog noises ever, it’s not fair.
Apparently the pallets sometimes go unbreakable too, and I only learned about this because the Wraith was chasing me at one point, I drop the pallet that’s upstairs in Crotus Prenn, and he let out the longest most disappointed sigh as he stared at it and then walked away.
And I know damn well how mean some of us survivors can be :( all my Dannys have ranted enough, and watching Unknown slink away to the theater rafters still dripping with food gunk is really starting to make me hate this stupid fucking banquet.
The food tastes bad anyways, and the new masks are ugly as fuck.
Honestly... as much as some of the killers deserve it (and worse), I do agree with you in general. I even stopped making flashbangs during this whole mess.
Granted, as a result of dropping that, I've been responsible for multiple instances of two to three generators finishing within two minutes of the trials starting, but. Well. Killers gotta pick their poison in that respect, because I certainly don't want to be stuck in these trials any longer than I have to.
...Speaking of poison actually, the stuff the Entity gave them is so. Lame. Why do we get better Fog manipulation and they get "green shit what makes survivors a little tired"?
I literally learned how to weaponize cyanide here. I feel like, personally offended on behalf of poison's perceived effectiveness. That's practically my thing they've been given but the Entity made it suck. What the hell.
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btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over