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I find the possible fact that we are actually trapped in the male gaze dreadful.

I’ve read and heard stories from women who say that they used to feel embarrassed and wrong when they touched themselves or when they got aroused watching soft porn. I don’t know a man who does.

When a woman spends so much time together with her girl best friend, men would start making up story about them being in a relationship, a story good enough to fulfill their fantasies.

My friends and I use the word “slutting” for whenever we want or plan to dress up and wear something nice for ourselves. Some of the fits are actually not that revealing, still modest in my dictionary.

"I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age."

"So rumour has it that he dates the youngs because they're easier to manipulate. Do you date me just so you can manipulate me?" "I think it's more possible for you to manipulate me instead."

And how do I enjoy the greatest today knowing that I might lose it all next week if not tomorrow?

Sadly, it’s not for the badump reason.

Now I’m in fear and pain and I’ve got nowhere I can think of to run to.

Should I run to the darkness? Should I sink deeper to the rocky pool of tears? Or to the meadow of needle bush should I jump? I don’t know, it’s getting chaotic here.

lips smiling,

face flushing,

I always thought that I knew love so well.

I watch, I read, I observe love for as long as I can remember.

Some would even call me “A hopeless romantic”.

I put my pride on love. Because I think I did it best.

But he made me realise, that I wasn’t entirely right.

What I knew was only to love, not to be loved.

Love is a beautiful thing, it is more than just to love or to be loved. 

It’s not that simple. To know the real form of love, you need to know both how to love and to be loved.

I may think that I’m so good on loving someone, but I was so clueless when I first learned how to be loved. 

So clueless I believe it confused him as well.

As time goes by, I get used to be loved by him, and so the more I know how to love.