Ezra

I'm flat broke, I can't afford food on top of rent and bills. I can't afford to feed myself, I can't afford my medication, I can't afford birth control.

And that's not for lack of trying. Because I've been trying, so, so fucking hard. To the point where i go to the job that just drains my entire social battery every day, and then get up and do it again, just to cry myself to sleep every night because I'd only made $100 that day. And I know it's becoming "busy" season for servers here in america, but I can't support myself. The only time I can eat, is at work where I get a free meal. I can't even afford caffeine or gas at this point. We just had a huge snow storm, and we had no food. The shelves are still picked clean. I'm stressed, I'm tired, and I'm hungry.

I can't afford to take care of myself, let alone therapy that would help me fix this mess. I can't get myself out of bed during my weekends to clean my house. I can't clean my room, or my bathroom. I've been wearing a beanie the last few days because I can't get myself to wash my hair. I feel like there's no one to turn to to help me with this.

I've been disassociating more and more every day. And I'm frustrated that I can't bring myself out of this. I know I need help, but without insurance? That's about $300-$700 a week, depending. And it sucks.

And every week, I get tipped less and less, because we're fully staffed again, and I can't make the money I used to, and I hate it. It sucks. I'm becoming burnt out from a job that can replace me in at least a week.

On top of it all, our legislators are taking away the right to choose. They banned abortions. I was raped recently, and if I were pregnant I wouldn't have been able to get rid of it. The current political climate of America is shit, it's taking away life-saving surgeries, solutions to dysphoria that no one should ever have to deal with.