Besides the clear power imbalance in the Nesta x Cassian relationship, there was something off about it that I couldn’t place. I still don’t think I completely understand now, but it has something to do with its trope.
The crux of enemies-to-lovers trope is the tension between the two characters and it is driven by conflict. And this conflict is effective when it is stemmed from the difference of beliefs, values, and morals. Two people are on the opposite sides because that one specific belief/value/moral is integral to their identity. Without it, their life begins to unravel, and that’s why their attraction towards another is painful. In order to pursue love, they need to abandon who they are. The tension lives within them. It’s a self-imposed obstacle. As much as the circumstances put them in this position, it is only effective when there is an internal need. Without it, what’s stopping from freeing themselves from these external forces?
The more I think about Silver Flames, the less it makes sense. For simplicity, let’s assume the narrative’s intentions as they are.
Nesta is a human when Cassian first meets her. He is one of the fae who values mortal lives. Nesta fights for the people, Cassian fights for the people. Nesta puts her life on the line for what is right, Cassian puts his life on the line for what is right. Nesta is willing to sacrifice herself for her friends, Cassian is willing to sacrifice himself for his friends. Nesta doesn’t believe in discrimination, Cassian doesn’t believe in discrimination. Nesta is against abuse, Cassian is against abuse. Nesta believes in women empowerment, Cassian believes in women empowerment.
In short, Nesta and Cassian see the world just the same. There is almost nothing that’s pulling them apart.
The problem in these books is that the characters don’t have individuality to make them stand out. The moment they show prominence in the plot, the moment they are the “good guys”, they need to cross off everything in the morality checklist regardless of whether they live up to it on page.
Nesta and Cassian should rarely disagree with each other since the two have quite similar standards. But they are constantly bickering to the point that the reasons just blur. If the difference between them is only incompatibility of personalities, then they are not enemies, and the dynamic between them shouldn’t be this severe.
Deep down, the rift between the two doesn’t even come from themselves, but from Feyre. Feyre is the only factor they disagree on, and it has nothing to do with their love or lack of it for her, but how they see each other in relation to her.
Since their introduction, Nesta doesn’t have strong negative feelings towards Cassian after she overcomes her initial fear of fae. She respects him even quite from the start. There is always a positive realisation associated with every encounter they have. The only thing holding her back from embracing her attraction is her self-hatred and low self-esteem, along with guilt, shame, and whatnot. Her conflict is depreciative of the self.
On the other hand, Cassian develops a deep hatred for Nesta even before he meets her. It fluctuates throughout the series but it never is related to Nesta’s character itself, but because of external factors, such as if Feyre approves of her in that moment, if Nesta is a wilful pawn in their plans. Most of the causes for his resentment is because of Nesta’s personality directly, that is, he hates her as a person. Her anger, her coldness, her sharp tongue, her haughtiness, her upbringing—all of it is part of who she is and he hates it. Through this, the only thing pulling him towards her is his inexplicable attraction.
In enemies-to-lovers trope, it is important for the characters to accept their differences, grow from it if needed, and respect each other beyond it. And that’s where this gets muddied, Nesta overcomes her self-loathing and part of embracing her new life opens her to this new love, while Cassian never addresses the root of his hatred, which is Nesta “failing Feyre”. Again and again, he appreciates Nesta more only when she complies to their wishes, and never warms up to certain aspects of her personality unless it turns him on. Nesta undergoes change after change through the book but Cassian remains the same because his conflict was never entirely his, his hatred becomes pointless and remains unresolved. And that's where it turns from mutual understanding to submission.
I’m still unclear on a lot of this myself but I needed to get this out.
