ugh

me when I'm perceived: disgusting. stop that. I don't exist. look away.

inaction will always be action and avoiding communication with someone who is trying to meet you half way out of fear of upsetting emotions is still an attempt to control and manipulate the situation. there is a tendency in people who deliberately avoid confrontation to believe that conflict can only be caused by active provocation, and that otherwise all behavior occupies a sphere of neutrality. they feel victimized with a friend, family member, or partner brings up an issue to them, while not nearly cognizant enough of the subjugation they are asking of those people to endure by minimizing their emotions and ignoring it. the truth is that all relationships are interdependent. relationships deepen and grow based off of how we consciously act in the interests of the people we want to keep in our lives. it's also just easier to change for the better when you have something in your life you want to protect.

person: How are you?

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

“I have found it impossible to talk to anyone about my problems. I couldn’t face the embarrassment, and anyway I lack the courage. Any courage I had was knocked out of me when I was young. But now, all of sudden I have a sort of desperate wish to tell everything to somebody.”